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Reasons to be cheerful | Jul 26, 2006 09:08

I meant to celebrate this yesterday, but themes got a bit serious. So, now … go Jolisa! Public Address's own delightful Jolisa Gracewood was named Reviewer of the Year in the 2005 Montana New Zealand Book Awards, for her work in The Listener. We are all very proud of her.

Further reasons to be cheerful - for me anyway - include the fact that I've been invited to Foo Camp, my ticket is booked and I'll be there late next month. I'll be arriving in San Francisco a few days before, and my extremely generous steward Nathan Torkington already has an exciting schedule lined up for me. And yes, of course I'll be blogging it.

It seems wise to arrive at Foo with something to say, and I guess I'll be - as usual when I move in geek circles - the content guy. Among the many things I'm hoping to come away with is another great guest for the year-end Karajoz Great Blend events. (For which, by the way, I have provisionally lined up something really stonking in the way of moving images.)

One thing I'd like to know asap is the names and contacts for any New Zealanders working at Apple Computer. I'll be visiting Cupertino and it would be nice to get the Kiwis around a table at Café Macs. So do let me know if you have a mate there.

Meanwhile, Stephen Colbert works some wicked parody on the cheesier elements of An Inconvenient Truth.

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So that's it, then? | Jul 25, 2006 09:50

Is that it, then? The Independent's story states as looming fact something that has been hinted at elsewhere in the past week or two: the abandonment of "Iraq as a political project" and the preparation of a Plan B - the partition of the country, and of Baghdad itself, into a Shia East and a Sunni West. The history of divided cities is not at all a happy one, but the sheer extent of the bloodshed in Iraq - 3149 civilians killed last month, with a much higher toll predicted for July - suggests that it may in fact be the least worst option.

Meanwhile, this from the Christian Science Monitor:

An Army long strained by the manpower demands of Iraq and Afghanistan is increasingly facing a new obstacle at home: The service is fast running out of money.

It is a story with a Dickensian twist - a tale of two bases that show how a force that received more than $100 billion for the current fiscal year doesn't have enough cash to mow the lawns or pay utility bills at installations nationwide.

Clearly, old truths are being revisited; not least in the White House, which, as Billmon notes, was the source for this report in the British Daily Telegraph:

White House aides have said they consider the Lebanon crisis to be a "leadership moment" for Mr Bush and an opportunity to proceed with his post-September 11 plan to reshape the Middle East by building Sunni Arab opposition to Shi'a terrorism. Yesterday Mr Bush cited the role of Iran and Syria in providing help to Hezbollah. (emphasis added by Billmon)

Wha'? Readers with memories extending further back than the last five minutes may remember the good old days when al Qaeda (which rises from an extreme Sunni sect) and Saddam were the bad guys and, and Iraq's Shia population were an oppressed people. Billmon suggests it's "a deliberate Eastasia/Eurasia switch by our fun-loving Orwellians in the Cheney administration," which seems as reasonable an explanation as any.

Billmon also suggests that, despite acres of Beirut having been reduced to rubble and continuous bombing raids all over Lebanon (handy target map here) it's not exactly going to plan for the Israeli military, even though the strategy was planned (with briefings for US officials) more than a year ago. Those bunker-buster bombs being shipped over had better work, because the Islamist zealots will claim anything short of total defeat as victory. And what total defeat might actually entail is pretty scary.

Meanwhile, this Washington Post column by David Ignatius, published over the weekend, is revealing:

Siniora has privately warned the Bush administration that by bombing so many targets in Lebanon, Israel is undermining its own strategic goals. Lebanese are angry with Hezbollah for starting the war by kidnapping Israeli soldiers, and most want to see the militia under government control. But Siniora has asked why the Israelis are hitting Lebanese airports, ports, roads, villages and other targets that primarily affect civilians. And he has criticized attacks on the Lebanese army, which even the Israelis say is the key to long-run stability and security.

Some Bush administration officials share Siniora's concern about the scope of Israeli attacks. These officials are said not to understand Israeli targeting decisions. The administration is understood to have communicated this concern to Jerusalem.

In the language of the unattributable briefing, the meaning is clear enough. Even the Bush administration can't understand the scope of Israel's attacks, and what it hopes to achieve.

The Brits neither, by the look of it:

The Observer can also reveal that British Prime Minister Tony Blair voiced deep concern about the escalating violence during a private telephone conversation with the Israeli Prime Minister, Ehud Olmert, last week.

Speaking to a BBC reporter before travelling on for talks in Israel, where he will also visit the missile-hit areas of Haifa and meet his Israeli opposite number, [British Foreign Office minister Kim] Howells said: "The destruction of the infrastructure, the death of so many children and so many people: these have not been surgical strikes. If they are chasing Hezbollah, then go for Hezbollah. You don't go for the entire Lebanese nation." The minister added: "I very much hope that the Americans understand what's happening to Lebanon."

Howells wasn't backing down yesterday, and The Guardian was describing - again - a split between the British Foreign Office and 10 Poodle Street. Another report said:

There has been an apparent policy vacuum at the Foreign Office since the conflict began last week. A Foreign Office source said: "It is difficult for the British to do anything. We cannot work out the direction of travel until we hear from the UN security council and know the intent of the US."

In the Commons, many Labour MPs were furious that the the shadow foreign secretary, William Hague, was prepared to be tougher in his warning to Israel than Mrs Beckett. "I think we can say that elements of the Israeli response are disproportionate, including attacks on Lebanese army units, the loss of civilian life and essential infrastructure and such enormous damage to the capacity of the Lebanese government, [which] does damage the Israeli cause in the long term," he told MPs.

Still, while people are dying and being driven from their homes on both sides of the border, and fleeing civilians are dodging hellfire from the skies, at least the world is safe for lardarsed American conservatives to write blog posts telling the "latte Lebanese" ("Latte Lebanese"? You may remember them as the brave citizen footsoldiers of the cedar revolution; freedom is slavery and all that.) to stop whining and be grateful.

Onto lighter matters: week two of Rosemary McLeod's homosexual panic. I personally don't find her joyless ravings offensive so much as a bit sad. I remember Rosemary McLeod when she was funny and pungent and didn't write like a crazy old lady.

She begins on the Ian Wishart tip:

There's an elephant in the sitting- room, but we tip-toe around it pretending it's invisible. It's called the Labour Party and gays. There'd be few adult gatherings in this country where the sexual preferences of the prime minister, her husband, advisers, and other Labour politicians and friends are not speculated on at some point, and certainly few Wellingtonians who don't believe there's a Labour network of gay mutual promotion. But the subject can't be discussed openly, for fear of being labelled anti-gay. It's extraordinary ...

And concludes:

... Ask yourself this: what would happen if everyone on Labour's network who is the object of speculation bounded out of the closet? Would their abilities and experience really count for nothing overnight? Or would we achieve a new atmosphere of honesty and openness in which to plan both the future direction of the country - and the Labour Party?

Well, I think it would be rather less newsworthy than the day that, say, everyone in the National caucus who was "the object of speculation" was to bound out of the closet, let's put it that way. McLeod seems to be bagging gays both for being closeted and for being out. Presumably it makes sense to her, but it's bloody lost on me.

She fills up most of the rest of her column with supportive emails from readers and declares that "labelling such responses homophobic or anti-gay is not an argument; it's an arrogant rejection of argument." The irony of doing so while quoting a string of non-arguments - including one from a "despairing wit" who wrote "I think homosexuality finally is going to become mandatory" - seems lost on her.

I guess this one is worth commenting on:

"Gays hit on me all the time at my workplace. The boss has told me that I have to put up with the first advance, and politely tell them to desist, but thereafter I can bodily throw them out into the street," a young male reader wrote. "To write off my feelings, and those of many other men, as a phobia (homophobia) is oppression."

Right … At a guess, this young man works in hospo. Does it occur to anyone that this is precisely the situation that women in that industry have always had to put up with? The problem isn't homosexuals, it's men.

McLeod also appears to say she thinks that people should have a legal defence if they happen to kill someone who "taunts" them. Er, what?

Compare it to the lead letter in the same edition of the Star Times, a lovely effort by Grant Robertson:

I am gay - I also want New Zealand to have world class education and health systems, and fair labour laws. I want healthier, warmer homes for all New Zealanders. I worry about the sustainability of our energy supply and, perhaps most importantly, whether we have a back-up at tighthead if Carl Hayman gets injured in World Cup year.

Damn right. We're looking okay on the loosehead - there was one scrum on Saturday night where Tialata just plain fucked up van der Linde - but the big guy looks irreplaceable.

And, finally Cory Doctorow notes a new version of the Democracy Player, an open-source media player with a BitTorrent Client, XML feed reader and VLC Player embedded in it. I had a play with Democracy last night and while it has a few interface quirks and - of course - needs content, you can see they're heading to a pretty good place with it. This might not be the future of television, but I think it's an interesting rough draft of it.

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Toilettenstreich!! | Jul 21, 2006 10:25

Why call a post "Frivolous Friday" when you have an excuse to use the magnificently comedic word "Toilettenstreich"? Toilettenstreich is the title of
a German capture of a mad Japanese TV show - Google translates it from the German as "Toilet caper". Notice of the clip comes from Paddy Free out of Pitch Black, who has just returned from two very successful gigs in yer actual Japan:

The audiences were, as fabled, extraordinarily enthusiastic, and we can't wait to go back there. The food, the politeness and respect, the whole culture of "just-getting-along" was mind-blowing (along with the experience of discussing our next tour with our Tokyo label boss and tour manager, while sitting around naked in an Onsen - a traditional Japanese public bath house.)

Paddy advises "stick with it to the end - the last prank is really quite surreal!" He also recommends the frankly dangerous Saunastreich.

And truly, the frivolity has flowed like a rapper in response to yesterday's invitation. There's a buttload of it, as Don Brash would doubtless say. Don't feel you have to view it all at once. It would really rock our page stats if you came back daily until you'd done the lot. And be aware that we have special interest frivolities for minorities.

This is, for example, foodie frivolity, in the shape of this page-by-page commentary on a 1950s cookbook, sent in by Emma: "I know that sounds dumb, but my partner and I both laughed til we couldn't breathe," she said. I thought, how funny could that be? Then I laughed out loud as I read the first sentence and I went on to laugh more at this than anything else in today's post. Although I could breathe.

We must also, of course, acknowledge our valued readers in the nerd community. Here's John 'I'm A PC' Hodgman explaining Net neutrality on The Daily Show, in amusing and informative fashion. If you haven't seen Hodgman in the new Apple Computer campaign, you will miss one of the running gags in it.

If you have seen the new Apple campaign, and you'd now like to see some spoofs of it, DJ Matty B recommends this one. In keeping with our diversity policy, there are also are also bi-curious and gay spoofs available.

Before we leave Apple, Steve Vale alerted us to the hot new product in the iPod range: the iPod Flea.

Hadyn of Grabthar's blog recommended the videos of Eugene Mirman: "His Robot and the "Video from the future" are brilliant! But his Sexpert is easily the most hilarious. Also watch the Swift Boat video for recent history laffs." I also liked the 'Pot' video, but perhaps that's just me.

Lemon shared news of this clip, containing: "every F-word from The Big Lebowski edited into a 2:14 segment. Genius. Apparently the 11th highest usage in a movie with #1 being Casino." And also a pretty amazing mash-up of nerd brands Super Friends and Office Space. And finally, this incredible "conversation" between a crazy woman and a telemarketer.

Matt (another one) also got on the mash-up tip, with this Darth Vader recut that uses the voice of James Earl Jones from other movies. Nifty.

I'll let Rob Fletcher explain his swag of YouTube booty:

I agree with you that this week has been particularly grim so here is something that might give you a bit of a giggle. It's Tiny Tim performing "Do You Think I'm Sexy?" It's worth viewing just for his suit alone as well as Johnny Carson's stunned expression at the end (thank Christ he keeps his t-shirt on...).

In a similar but not quite so deranged vein, "Hocus Pocus" by Focus at is worth watching for the performance by Thijs Van Leer in addition to being a brilliant performance of the song.

You might also want to check out the 'dirty dancing' clips from the 60's German space opera 'Raumpatrouille' (there are 3 clips, url for the first of them only). A German friend of mine recalls the series with great fondness. It was their 'Star Trek', although it only ran for 7 episodes.

And finally, something from the late and sorely missed Ivor Cutler.

Of course, there's more to pleasing Friday diversions than toilet capers and mash-ups. Tony Haszard recommends this lovely Flash guide to understanding the 10 spatial dimensions required by string theory. Very cool. Would be totally wicked, like, on LSD.

And Matt Godfrey has a short, funny story:

Funny thing happend when I tried to rip " Best of Wildside" (The compilation with John Toogood on the cover) into iTunes the other day. About 20 seconds into the rip, my PC made a really loud bang. I inspected my computer and all seemed fine. There was no smoke or anything. I looked at iTunes and the CD rip was still going. All was fine. About 5 minutes later after all the tracks had been done, iTunes reported that the CD was imported successfully. No probs I thought. I opened the CD tray and there it was ... my Best of Wildside CD in about a million pieces.

This DRM thing has gotten way out of hand I reckon.

Hiro Protagonist spotted this via Metafilter:

After Bush & Blair had their very public talk, Blair has a chat with Putin...

Blair: Hey, Vladimir,
Putin: Hi, Tony. Did you talk to stupid?
Blair: Yeah. God what a dope.
Putin: What'd he say about Lebanon.
Blair: He's clueless. I just threw some compound sentences at him and he'll do whatever we want. He called Bashir "Bashad".
Putin: Bashad? Christ, what an idiot. Back in KGB we'd shoot someone just for pretending to be that stupid. You know, I've been to that silly ranch of his like four times, and he still calls me "Putin." I don't think he knows my first name.
Blair: Oh God, I hate that place. What is with that smell. It's like leather and old feet. Hey, you know what? After he goes to bed, at like 9:30, let's call his room pretending to be Arafat, and that we want to negotiate a truce with Sharon.
Putin: But Arafat and Sharon are....
Blair: Vladimir, we're talking about George Bush here.

Jack Lambchop recommended his own blog, Meat and Two Veg. Which is quite funny.

Some music: what better news could there be for fans of Van Halen and bluegrass music than a bluegrass tribute to Van Halen? Gareth Davidson says 'Jump' is "definitely the pick."

And, finally, what fit of escapism would be complete without a version of 'Don't Worry, Be Happy'? With a theremin! Shout-outs and kindred can't-bear-to-watch-the-news vibes to LGF Watch.

Anyway, have a nice weekend. I certainly intend to, because it's my birthday on Sunday. For once, I'm behaving like a proper grown-up and going with my darling to Dine by Peter Gordon, where I shall have the pork belly and several glasses of pricey wine. And if the All Blacks do not win well tomorrow evening, I shall take it as a personal affront ...

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How would it go on Trade Me? | Jul 20, 2006 10:30

THIS JUST IN: The rumours circulating this morning that iiNet would be selling its NZ subsidiary Ihug are correct. It's on the block. Obvious conclusion: the Aussies are seriously scratching for capital to respond to the investment implied by unbundling and have instead decided (in the words of the press release) to "take advantage of the more favourable trading conditions following the Government's recent unbundling decision." Cash up and bail out the Australian business, in other words.

The announcement comes a couple of weeks after redundancies in the voice calling division and elsewhere. If you're interested in buying a major ISP, there'll be a memorandum by the end of the month.

Here's the press release, verbatim:

MEDIA RELEASE DATE: 20 JULY 2006
iiNet to unbundled ihug

iiNet Limited (ASX: IIN) today announced that it has initiated a formal sales process for its New Zealand ISP business, ihug.

iiNet Executive Chairman Peter Harley said the decision had been made following a large number of unsolicited approaches to purchase ihug.

Mr Harley said that the Board of iiNet has decided to take advantage of the opportunity to realise an enhanced value for the business in the light of recent favourable regulatory decisions and the improved trading performance of the business.

He said that the capital from the sale would be applied to funding further growth of the business in Australia and reducing gearing levels.

iiNet has appointed Grant Samuel in Auckland to manage the sale process. An Information Memorandum will be distributed at the end of July to potential purchasers and it is expected that the process will be completed by the end of 2006.

Keith Goodall, iiNet director and ihug chairman, said ihug was well placed to take advantage of the more favourable trading conditions following the Government's recent unbundling decision and expects the ihug sale will attract strong interest from a number of prospective purchasers.

"We expect considerable interest in ihug from private equity investors in New Zealand and abroad", he said.

"Ihug is particularly well placed to take advantage of the changing regulatory environment. Over the last 12 months the new management team has overhauled the product line up, re-energised the brand, and reduced operating costs. The business is performing well and is growing solidly.

"As New Zealand's largest wholesaler of ADSL broadband, ihug has the scale to take advantage of local loop unbundling and has already announced its intension to deploy its own network once access to Telecom's exchanges is permitted. This combined with ihug's strong consumer brand should make ihug a very attractive proposition."

ihug was established in 1994 and expanded into Australia in 1998. iiNet acquired the Australian and New Zealand operations which were of similar size in 2003. The Australian operation has since been integrated under the iiNet brand, while the New Zealand business has continued under the highly regarded ihug brand.

With over 120,000 services, ihug is now the third largest ISP in New Zealand, behind Telecom New Zealand's xtra and Telstra Clear and the largest wholesaler of ADSL broadband. ihug - voted New Zealand's no.1 internet provider! (TUANZ 2005, Netguide 2006)

And while we're at it, news in the last couple of hours that Unlimited magazine has been taken over by Infego Communication Ltd, the company of former IDG general manager Julie Gill. Seems like a good result for them, and possibly a lot more fun than working for Fairfax at the other ex-IDG publications. There have been two redundancies at Unlimited and several from the former IDG staff. The most nerve-wracking thing for people there must surely be that Fairfax is still muddling around doing due dilgence ...

The Guardian has a couple of important items with respect to the war in Lebanon. The first is a news story claiming that the US has privately given Israel one more week to do whatever damage it can to Hezbollah before it weighs in behind international calls for a ceasefire.

The naive idea that Hezbollah can be eradicated from the air - so popular amongst the armchair generals - doesn't appear to feature in serious calculations. The story says a diplomatic process is already in train and that an emerging "peace formula" is likely to include an understanding on prisoner exchange.

The other item is an absorbing column by Jonathan Freedland that traces the contributions of Hamas, Hezbollah and Israel to the "perfect storm" of war, concisely explains the domestic political climate in Israel, speculates that the middle ground there is shrinking - and concludes on a profoundly gloomy note:

The greater legacy is the human one. Every bomb dropped by Israel will have broken hundreds of Lebanese hearts. Some will have lost loved ones; others will have seen bridges, streets and houses that were painstakingly restored after decades of war smashed into the ground. Those who witnessed it will not forget it, and they will carry a bitterness towards Israel for the rest of their lives, passing it on to their children. The bereaved families of Israeli civilians will feel the same way about their enemy. From all the rational, strategic calculations, this is the factor that is so often missing: the hatred sowed in the human heart. Both sides have ensured this dreadful conflict spreads, not just across borders - but down the generations.

Tragedy all round, then. Apart from the deaths on both sides, I think the saddest thing is that the Lebanese optimism laid waste this week is not so different from the optimism that raised modern Israel out of the desert. A report from the south in the Ms. Levantine blog sums up the anguish of being trapped between two sides and watching your dreams crumble

What can I say - I am living a nightmare. Just last week, Lebanon was expecting 1.6 million tourists, a record number since before the civil war. We were expecting $4.4 BILLION to be injected into our economy. Now it's in shambles …

May this reality not persist much longer. May Lebanon rise once again. May we emerge victorious and stronger and more unified and stable than we've ever been. With bridges, roads, and ports rebuilt. We will begin anew...Let the world live with the burden of guilt While we raise our heads high, with resilience so true. Lebanon, my faith in you is ever so deep.

On Ya Libnan, Nathalie Malham strikes a similar theme:

This summer was expected to be a 'golden summer' for Lebanon. Hotels were booked, tickets for festivals and concerts were sold out, and tourism was finally beginning to boom again in the country. Lebanon was finally beginning to show its true colors and break away from its war-torn image. All that, has been destroyed in just a matter of days- if not hours. But we can and will rebuild our infrastructure. We have done it before and we will do it again.

She continues:

No…. Hizbollah should not have kidnapped those two Israeli soldiers. They did that without the Lebanese population's or the Lebanese government's knowledge. Indeed, those two soldiers should be sent back to Israel. But that does not give the Israeli army the right to go and destroy entire villages and take away innocent lives or the right to bombard our whole infrastructure. They did not even try to negotiate before starting to destroy our infrastructure. Yes, Hizbollah should be disarmed. An immediate ceasefire must take place now and the international community must intervene to help do that so that the Lebanese government can take control again. Prime Minister Siniora is a good man, with his heart in the right place. We must give him the chance to take control. He cannot do so if there is no immediate cease-fire. This conflict has gone beyond the capture of the two soldiers. It has spilled over, way over into the danger zone. Do we really want to see the start of world war three? You tell me, is that what you want? Do we really want to ignore the value of human life? Day by day, more tears and blood are spilled….mainly in Lebanon right now but also on all sides. In Haifa, in Gaza, in Beirut…. In Palestine, Israel and Lebanon, let's not forget in Iraq…. Is this really what you want? What for? What for? Please, just tell me what for.

Open Lebanon has much more bloggage.

No Right Turn notes the bizarre smacking manual published by the fundy Christian outfit Family Integrity.

His commenters wade in to the fundies' defence. And I guess they do have the right to believe that prolonged smacking rituals are necessary to drive "the sinful manifestations, out of the child's personality" on the basis that:

Children are not little bundles of innocence: they are little bundles of depravity (see Psalm 51:5) and can develop into unrestrained agents of evil (Nero, Caligula, Lenin, Stalin, Charles Manson, Pol Pot to name a very few) unless trained and disciplined.

And they have the right to declare that those who have qualms about such "traditional common sense smacking" are "detached from reality". But they do not have the right to expect the law of a secular state to pay heed to the fairies at the bottom of their particular garden.

One of the more interesting elements of the Section 59 debate is the way in which media organisations allowed themselves to be persuaded that visiting lobbyist Ruby Harrold-Claesson was some sort of expert. I spent some time last night reading up on her, and she is a queer fish indeed. She's a lawyer twice declared "unsuitable" to represent legal aid clients in Swedish cases (because, she maintains, she is black) and who does not belong to the Swedish bar association (because, by her own account, she doesn't earn enough money, although she also apparently runs a private law firm in Gothenburg). Her organisation, the Nordic Committee for Human Rights, has no official status and the kind of website you normally see hawking dietary supplements. For all that, she has probably championed some genuine cases - in which children have been precipitately removed from families - but she also seems to have made cause celebres out of crazy people.

Barnados and Save the Children have both ripped into Harrold-Claesson in unusually strong terms. Approach with caution.

In brief: An Inconvenient Truth is great, you must go it see it and drag your friends along too - although I warmed far more to the slide show than the folksy stuff about Al Gore's farm upbringing and how his little boy nearly died, which seem calculated to appeal to a middle-American audience. There's quite a lot in the whole production for media students, including presentations that knock your standard Powerpoint talk into next week (the credits reveal that Gore had quite a lot of assistance with Keynote).

And … my guess is that Philip Taito Field is toast, later if not sooner.

NB: It having been a grim week, tomorrow will be Frivolous Friday. If you have anything amusing to share with me and the readers, send it on over.

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