Public Address - Field Theory (Home)

Kicking the underdog | Jun 01, 2009 15:00

I saw three games this weekend and none of them were worth it. The Pulse lost 44-66. The Chiefs lost 61-17. And currently the Cubs are down 8-0 in the bottom of the sixth.

There's something about games like these. You just can't watch them for too long.

I stopped watching the Super 14 final when the result seemed inevitable.

I couldn't stop watching the Pulse get spanked by the Steel because I was there covering it. The crowd stopping lustily cheering almost from the beginning of the fourth quarter, replacing it with lacklustre clapping. The children, bless them, continued to make up chants ("C'mooooon, ThePulse… C'mooooon, ThePulse…") but it was all done and dusted.

There is an awful inevitability to blow-out games. The winning team's defence closes down, the offense stops taking chances.

Even in a game like the Pulse-Steel match where the Steel are trying to inflate their Points Differential (they currently have a finger-hold on fourth place), the winning team only blows out the score when they knows there is no chance the opposition can come back.

Personally I hate teams that blow out the score against a weaker opponent (where points diff is not an issue), but I'm not going to tell them they can't. After all part of competition is crushing all those who stand in your path.

At the press conference coach Robyn Broughton seemed a little peeved when she was told the Magic had put 23 points on the Pulse, one more than the Steel could manage.

Still it's not much fun to watch the underdog get kicked.

When the Chiefs got to Pretoria I don't think anyone thought would win. Many thought they had played their final against the Hurricanes the week before. I call ballsack on that. The Bulls were the best team all season and looked like they would've outplayed any team in that final.

Of course now all eyes turn to gaze upon Graham Henry, readying their ridicule at his crazy selections for our national team. Will Tanerau Latimer become an All Black while playing for Bay of Plenty (something unheard of in the modern era)? Will Luke McAlister rejoin the team he left? Will Henry suffer some sort of brain trauma and select Sione Lauaki?

all photos by Michael Roseingrave

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Quick hit | May 29, 2009 14:43

I saw no money in the budget yesterday directly attached to winning the 2011 Rugby World Cup. Nor did I see any other comedy-based spending; hence the budget was a sham and a let down.

And then Richie McCaw was ruled out of the first All Black tests of the year! Fucking government.

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In other news the Pulse are back in town so I'll be covering that tomorrow (#pulse for those wanting updates on twitter).

It's a home game on a long weekend which is likely to feature rain and being played in the afternoon, as such it's the perfect game to attend. So I'm thinking we can cause the Pulse's first victory if we get enough people there cheering them on (a flash mob if you will).

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Lastly via Rich Irvine here's a fantastic representation of the Indy 500.

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An odd morning | May 28, 2009 08:44

The Metservice said "fog clearing to fine with northerlies". Then from the bus I saw a strange glowing orb in the sky. An older gentleman from a few rows back whispered something about the "sun". More sensible riders hushed him and one voice chastised with: "don't jinx it".

As our electric bus skated silently through Courtenay Place I thought: "There are an awful lot of people out and about for this time of the morning. Even with the nice weather. And why are there so many in red shirts… Oooohhhhh."

I can't believe I had forgotten. Ok, not true, I had forgotten because I don't care. All I really knew about this match was that Manchester United were trying to be the first team to win back to back Champion's League titles.

Sir Alex Ferguson was being his old arseholish self in an interview yesterday:

"We've never done it, no one's ever done it. We're a team that does firsts"

And while I can't stand him and think he's probably over-rated, I love his swagger.

From the bus I looked up the score. It was halftime (hence everyone outside having a smoke) and Barcelona were up 1-0. By the time this goes up the game will probably be decided And then they won by 2-0 (the UEFA site wouldn't update for me beyond 65 mins, so I had to go to ESPN of all places).

The oddest claim I heard was that if Barca win (and they have now) then Messi is the greatest player in the world. What an interesting Correlation-Causation argument.

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How I Roll (pt1) | May 26, 2009 15:55

Many years back I read a book for work, Robert Putnam's Bowling Alone. It's all about social capital and social participation.

As you can probably guess from the title, Putnam found that not only were fewer Americans participating in the democratic process and volunteering in their communities, but there were also fewer people joining bowling teams. But there weren't fewer bowlers.

While the social element broke down people still liked to bowl.

About the same time (the early part of the century) Michael Moore's Bowling for Columbine was released. In between Moore's theatrics was the interesting (and disturbing) story of two friends in a close pact, who loved to bowl together. Putnam would agree that strong internal cohesion often creates negative external societal outcomes…but I digress.

Really what I want to talk about is bowling. I love bowling. And what's not to like?

You get to sit around, talking with your friends, drinking beer and occasionally getting up to throw something heavy at a bunch of pins that clatter about with the best noise. I love that noise. On a good roll you get that deep rumble of the ball on a curve that should, with any luck, terminate just to the right of the front pin. Then the smashing, almost porcelain-like, sound of the explosion of pins. Then you dance.

Like all sport, bowling has a culture. That culture is something The Lanes (an "urban" bowling alley in Wellington) is lacking. Bowling isn't cool. Sure hipsters think there is a certain ironic charm in having a few beers and rolling a few rocks but irony is all bowling has.

In America, professional bowling is huge. They have super-stars; they have endorsements; they get live coverage on ESPN (despite how much I yell at the TV for them to just show the baseball). And yet… it still isn't cool. The bowlers run out (sometimes with intro music), they wave to the crowd, and you can see on their faces that they think this is awkward.

And it is. Inside a bowling alley someone wearing two tone shoes, a loud shirt, and a protective wrist thing is the King or Queen of the alley (it's like the really good swimmers at the local pool or the good runners at the park). Yet as soon as they walk out the door they become weirdoes.

The Big Lebowski shows this quite well. Nothing bad happens in the bowling alley. There are arguments and confrontations but it's the sanctuary to the characters. The Dude and his pals head there when things go wrong. Everyone knows them there and everyone is an old friend. League Night takes precedent over other things. In fact many bad things happen when they step out of the alley (think about Donny).

Bowling is a comfort sport. It's the warm toast of sport. It's often portrayed as an escape. Middle-class family men (from Fred "twinkle toes" Flintstone on up) have gone bowling as an escape from the pressure of their daily lives and stresses. Teenagers took their dates bowling (as does a certain east-European gangster in GTA4) in all those same cheesy sitcoms.

So really, bowling is almost the perfect sport. It combines the best parts of spectatorship with the best parts of sportsmanship.

Bowling also tells us about ourselves. We learn quickly if we lean to the left or the right; whether we are just into speed; how much we can lift with one hand; and how well we can dance. Because when you get a strike, it's all you can do.

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All Misty-Eyed | May 25, 2009 13:29

I think it is now clear, if you want to beat the Hurricanes just don't let them see what they are doing. My glorious Chiefs have completed part one of their plan to glory by defeating the Hurricanes 14-10 in Hamilton.

Sadly I missed the game and only caught part of the replay. On Friday night I took my Mum to see Danny Bhoy at the Opera House. In the taxi on the way home the driver had talk-back on and we heard some drunken fool dribble his way through some excuses about the Hurricanes and why he supported the Chiefs.

We both sat carefully listening to him blather on because at that stage all we knew was that the game had been tied 7-7 at halftime. When the host finally let on that the Chiefs had won there may have been some whooping in the taxi. My mum is also a rugby fan. In fact on Thursday when I picked her up from the airport and mentioned that we would be going to the comedy on Friday she was disappointed that it was during the game.

So what now for the Hurricanes? While the Chiefs are having their most successful season ever (didn't Lauaki look good?), the Hurricanes are at the end of another "almost" season. I know what to expect from Wellington supporters: a lot of whinging (about the weather mainly I suspect). The Crusaders on the other hand were lucky to even be in the finals.

And now we look to South Africa. The Bulls were the best team in the competition this season and look to be favourites from every angle. But as I have said before, at this point in the competition there is no such thing as an upset.

Sure the Bulls have stifling defence, great break out players and a fairly fucking awesome kicking game but… actually I don't have anything there. The game is going to be at like 1am so it'll be perfect for Waikato Cow-Cockies but I'm unsure how us urban-sophisticate Chiefs' supporters will fare. Might just have to stay out drinking.

Quick Update:
Just saw on Twitter before posting this: "Wondering whether it's unpatriotic to hope the Chiefs get a complete towelling next weekend."

The answer is: no it's not. It's just weird. I can understand wanting the Crusaders to lose but not the Chiefs. They are the puppy dogs of the Super 14, you can't kick them.

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Perhaps the worst thing to come out of the weekend was the injuries. Andy Ellis being injured isn't a big blow but Sivivatu being out will be annoying down the road.

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Scott Dixon didn't win the Indy 500 (he came sixth after leading for a long time). But I am still a fan of Danica Patrick who came third. I can't wait for the day that she really loses it and decks someone. Or the day when someone gives her a F1 car and she gets to kick Jenson Button in the nuts (c'mon Ferrari you know that'd be awesome!).

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