Access by Various artists

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Access: It’s just a bout of Chronic Sorrow

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  • Hilary Stace,

    Thank you Erin and Martin for your perspectives.

    Wgtn • Since Jun 2008 • 3229 posts Report Reply

  • lesley maclean,

    Thank you for your wonderful post, Hilary. It feels very sane and healing to recognise my own sorrow. I’ve been stuck for too long thinking it is up to me to ensure that my son reaches his potential, despite a lack of external supports and the difficulty he has in asking for or even accepting any kind of help or attention. I can see I need to pause and just feel what is, for a while.

    christchurch • Since May 2014 • 2 posts Report Reply

  • Hilary Stace,

    Thank you Lesley. I am gratified by the responses to this post and how the concept of Chronic Sorrow resonates with many peopole. Taking the risk to show a bit of vulnerability has not resulted in the scorn I sort of expected.

    Wgtn • Since Jun 2008 • 3229 posts Report Reply

  • Rosemary McDonald, in reply to Hilary Stace,

    Taking the risk to show a bit of vulnerability has not resulted in the scorn I sort of expected.

    As if, Hilary!

    So often we feel we are the only one with such thoughts. We're not, and the really important thing is that we talk about these feelings, thoughts, issues.

    The message that comes through to me is that STILL the supports are simply not there for a large number of people....both disabled and family....despite what the 'authorities' would have us believe.

    Peter and I went to a carer meeting some time ago and the assembled were told that we "only had to ask "to get help.

    A number were rolling around on the floor at that one.

    It is here where the reality lives.

    Waikato, or on the road • Since Apr 2014 • 1346 posts Report Reply

  • Joe Wylie, in reply to Hilary Stace,

    And now yours might be staying put at school, often without any qualifications and despite everyone’s best efforts nowhere near the aspirational NCEA Level 2 that is now the essential ticket to successful adulthood.

    Thanks for keeping this one alive. It’s now over twenty years since the door was closed to those who, IMHE and with capable oversight, proved to be excellent childcare workers despite lacking the academic skills to gain a formal qualification. While they received a disability benefit it functioned as a wage subsidy to their employer. Looking back it’s all proven to be part of the pattern of the widening social gap, with the most vulnerable as always bearing the brunt.

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 4593 posts Report Reply

  • Hebe,

    Thank you. I'm unable to say anything but that.

    Christchurch • Since May 2011 • 2899 posts Report Reply

  • Rosemary McDonald,

    This...http://www.radionz.co.nz/national/programmes/morningreport/audio/201753038/guidelines-to-be-introduced-for-teachers-restraining-children

    was on Natrad this morning.

    This is a huge issue that needs much discussion....are the parents of these children involved in this process?

    Waikato, or on the road • Since Apr 2014 • 1346 posts Report Reply

  • Ali Scott, in reply to Marc C,

    I have heard Andrew Little talking about UBI and seriously considering it.

    christchurch • Since May 2015 • 1 posts Report Reply

  • Marc C, in reply to Ali Scott,

    Thanks Ali, that is new to me, but if it is so, then this may be a welcome signal for some “innovation” to be included in Labour’s future policies.

    I would not read too much into it as yet, as Professor Guy Standing from London was here not long ago, visiting a few interest groups and possibly politicians like Andrew Little, strongly advocating for a form of an UBI to be introduced.

    But then we also know that the devil tends to stick in the detail. And if a UBI will simply be introduced, by setting it at a rather low level, and offering only meagre top-ups based on extra needs, then we may as well forget it and stick with a benefit system of the kind we have now.

    So I will follow this with great interest, and research in detail whatever may come out of discussions and considerations. At present Labour and Andrew Little simply are looking at many things and ideas, and we get little firm commitment what they may wish to do in future.

    Have you any link to media or other reports referring to what you wrote about Andrew Little and the UBI?

    Auckland • Since Oct 2012 • 437 posts Report Reply

  • Rob Stowell,

    Hi Ali - good to see you here :) (I'm the other Oscar's dad, assuming you are the right Ali!)

    Whakaraupo • Since Nov 2006 • 2120 posts Report Reply

  • Hilary Stace,

    An insightful new post from the autismandoughtisms blog

    Wgtn • Since Jun 2008 • 3229 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha, in reply to Hilary Stace,

    I've read a handful of posts. Does she talk about what her children experience or want?

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19745 posts Report Reply

  • Hilary Stace,

    She has written a series of posts over the last several years. They started with her finding out about autism as her first child was diagnosed (and much later the second), then her struggles finding suitable schools and trying both special and mainstream, and navigating the minefield of disability policy and support. More recently she has started writing about her own responses to it all. It is an anonymous blog and she carefully protects her and her children's privacy. She doesn't presume to know what her children want, but she describes experiences quite powerfully.

    It is a great NZ autism blog with an international following.

    Wgtn • Since Jun 2008 • 3229 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha, in reply to Hilary Stace,

    She doesn’t presume to know what her children want

    I meant does she ask them and include that.

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19745 posts Report Reply

  • Hilary Stace,

    At times. This is more about her own experiences.

    Wgtn • Since Jun 2008 • 3229 posts Report Reply

  • Hilary Stace,

    Feeling pretty sad about the forced closure of Relationships Aotearoa. Few people go to a counsellor just for fun They go because they need help from a trained professional. That trained professional needs a good healthy organisation to support them and their professional development and supervision. Counselling is a profession that people train for and it has high standards. Anyone just can't do it. (Although some try with sometimes disastrous results.)

    Most NGOs cannot pay these professionals what they are worth, but they stay with an organisation because they are dedicated to the helping professions and a strong organisation has checks and balances. Counsellors can keep people functioning in the face of upheavals, stress, bullying, family breakdown, health problems or addictions. They take time to build trusting relationships.

    So why is the government destroying this organisation and leaving vulnerable people stranded? There just aren't other organisations out there with the capacity to suddenly pick up the workload or build the relationships. I don't understand.

    Wgtn • Since Jun 2008 • 3229 posts Report Reply

  • Joe Wylie, in reply to Hilary Stace,

    So why is the government destroying this organisation and leaving vulnerable people stranded?

    Prioritising resources?

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 4593 posts Report Reply

  • Hilary Stace,

    Now the Minister says the RA must hand over the names, files and confidential information of clients by the time they close at the end of the week. Huge ethical issues there. What about each person's consent? The Minister just has no idea about such professional relationships.

    Wgtn • Since Jun 2008 • 3229 posts Report Reply

  • Rosemary McDonald, in reply to Hilary Stace,

    Waikato, or on the road • Since Apr 2014 • 1346 posts Report Reply

  • Rosemary McDonald,

    Waikato, or on the road • Since Apr 2014 • 1346 posts Report Reply

  • Hilary Stace, in reply to Rosemary McDonald,

    Such a sad story. Why did he go home from school early? Was it because the school wouldn't allow him to stay the full day?

    Wgtn • Since Jun 2008 • 3229 posts Report Reply

  • Marc C, in reply to Hilary Stace,

    So why is the government destroying this organisation and leaving vulnerable people stranded? There just aren’t other organisations out there with the capacity to suddenly pick up the workload or build the relationships. I don’t understand.

    Well, when even a former Deputy Chief Executive of MSD writes a critical commentary in the NZ Herald, it seems damned obvious, that this government is all about applying a firm and tight actuarial regime, at the cost of quality and safety, yes even the availability of services:

    “Richard Wood: Relationships Aotearoa demise could be just the start”

    NZ Herald, 29 May 2015:

    http://www.nzherald.co.nz/opinion/news/article.cfm?c_id=466&objectid=11456278

    They really believe in that “magical marketplace”, where competition will see to “effective” and “efficient” services being delivered.

    They want to be able to take their pickings, from a wide selection of providers, all under-bidding each other, to save MSD costs.

    That is why I call this governments much loved talk about “supports”, about “wrap around services” and “breaking free from benefit dependence” total BS!

    And it all started with them flying in "experts" from the UK, to deliver their "magic solutions" here (costing hundreds if not more there their lives, when they could not cope after being wrongly assessed):

    https://nzsocialjusticeblog2013.wordpress.com/2015/04/10/mental-health-and-sole-parent-employment-services-msd-withholds-o-i-a-information-that-may-prove-their-trials-a-failure/

    https://nzsocialjusticeblog2013.wordpress.com/2015/01/23/the-discredited-indefensible-work-capability-assessment-wca-in-the-uk-and-what-its-demise-must-mean-for-nz-welfare-reforms-part-1/

    https://nzsocialjusticeblog2013.wordpress.com/2015/01/28/the-discredited-indefensible-work-capability-assessment-wca-in-the-uk-and-what-its-demise-must-mean-for-nz-welfare-reforms-part-2/

    And WINZ now pays the “designated doctors” nearly twice as much as only a couple of years ago, for “examining” sick and disabled on benefits for “work capability”, being $ 250 plus GST per client. Often they spend no more than 15 to 20 minutes on that.

    There is where more money goes, to have the GPs of their choice re-examine clients, to put them on lower paid benefits, or re-classify their work ability, to pressure them into whatever kind of part time work.

    http://www.nbph.org.nz/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/Work-Income-DD-Flyer-V3.pdf

    We got access to this with more info from some time back:
    http://nzsocialjusticeblog2013.wordpress.com/2013/12/28/designated-doctors-used-by-work-and-income-some-also-used-by-acc-the-truth-about-them/

    Auckland • Since Oct 2012 • 437 posts Report Reply

  • Hilary Stace, in reply to Marc C,

    Scary stuff. No service or NGO is safe. Will have negative consequences on NZers.

    Wgtn • Since Jun 2008 • 3229 posts Report Reply

  • Justin Ryan,

    .

    Tauranga • Since Apr 2014 • 2 posts Report Reply

  • Christine Peet,

    I accidentally logged in as my partner… but anyway

    Seriously, a mate with considerable hands on experience with disability was turned down for a job at a NASC as she was considered to be too ‘sympathetic’.

    And yet as the case is with my “Service Co-ordinator” has no experience with disability/caregiving, gets away with working her support workers to the bone, and also doesn’t seem to “get” (in my case anyway) what is required from a client, and sends someone totally inexperienced for ONE session’s training before throwing that person in the deep end on her own the next day. Same person was rostered on to me this morning and didn’t turn up. That will be an interesting conversation on Tuesday morning.

    New Zealand • Since May 2014 • 28 posts Report Reply

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