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Capture: The Castle

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  • BenWilson,

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    Something I made in my castle. What's it for? First person to guess is the new proud owner.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 8305 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha, in reply to BenWilson,

    fly-zapper? :)

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 16272 posts Report Reply

  • BenWilson, in reply to Sacha,

    Any fly that landed on the end would be sorry. But no, guess again :-)

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 8305 posts Report Reply

  • Geoff Lealand,

    A birth control device?

    Screen & Media Studies, U… • Since Oct 2007 • 2265 posts Report Reply

  • BenWilson, in reply to Geoff Lealand,

    It almost was for me, when I fell asleep with it in my pocket and it got switched on. Safety features are a priority for the next iteration.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 8305 posts Report Reply

  • Gareth,

    A device for spot-welding plastic?

    Bucolic in the backblocks… • Since Jan 2008 • 195 posts Report Reply

  • BenWilson, in reply to Gareth,

    You're just tempting me to experiment with the impossible now.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 8305 posts Report Reply

  • Nora Leggs, in reply to BenWilson,

    What’s it for?

    taming recalcitrant nostril hairs?

    or possibly for sucking dust out of panasonic lumix lenses?

    or a Cone of Silence detetector.....

    Auckland • Since Dec 2011 • 2127 posts Report Reply

  • Nora Leggs,

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    Cat very grateful for new years weeding

    Cone of Silence retrieved from the undergrowth

    Cat happy in his Castle.

    Auckland • Since Dec 2011 • 2127 posts Report Reply

  • BenWilson, in reply to Nora Leggs,

    taming recalcitrant nostril hairs?

    It does cut through hair like a hot knife through butter. Skin is a little slower, it might take a second to burn a nostril ring hole.

    or possibly for sucking dust out of panasonic lumix lenses?

    That's very specific. A pet hate?

    or a Cone of Silence detetector.....

    Yes, if you touched the cat with this in there, and didn't hear what the cat had to say about it, it's a genuine cone of silence.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 8305 posts Report Reply

  • Ian Dalziel, in reply to BenWilson,

    Branded...

    What’s it for?

    Pokerwork? (aka pyrography)
    ie: etching / mark making with heat,
    that's what I fink dat wotsit's for...

    Christchurch • Since Dec 2006 • 4555 posts Report Reply

  • BenWilson, in reply to Ian Dalziel,

    It could do that, certainly. So long as you only needed it for a few minutes. It chews the batteries up fast.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 8305 posts Report Reply

  • JacksonP, in reply to BenWilson,

    What’s it for?

    Heating water for coffee?

    In other news, I give up… ;-)

    Auckland • Since Mar 2011 • 2104 posts Report Reply

  • Sofie Bribiesca,

    Jacob's ladder. It makes sparks like a mini taser?

    here and there. • Since Nov 2007 • 5920 posts Report Reply

  • Geoff Lealand,

    For signalling alien spaceships?

    I also give up ..... Inventive Ben

    Screen & Media Studies, U… • Since Oct 2007 • 2265 posts Report Reply

  • BenWilson,

    Feels like a let down, I thought it was obvious. It's a lighter, for pipes and fireworks, invented one Guy Fawkes years ago, and forgotten. Found in a drawer, still working fine. But the other uses you guys suggested were much more interesting. Pipes have always been annoying things to light because the bowl points down, hence the hooked end.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 8305 posts Report Reply

  • Chris Waugh,

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    I’ve been here long enough that I can and do bore colleagues with stories of when these newer castles were holes in the ground. Not sure what that dormant electronic signboard is supposed to display...

    And that grounded flying saucer cum Olympic badminton gym again. Maybe one day in the distant future they'll take the Beijing 2008 signs down, but I doubt it. It's not that great a piece of architecture, but there's something mesmerising about it, I find.

    Beijing • Since Jan 2007 • 1959 posts Report Reply

  • Islander, in reply to BenWilson,

    Pipes have always been annoying things to light because the bowl points down,

    Dear Ben – as pipe smoker for nearly 50 years*, may I say pipes are very easy to light?
    It’s how your tobacco is tamped!

    Your tobacco may be dense, with lots of additives – or not.Maybe it’s threadcut Virginia. But! Pack it in too hard- it doesnt matter about the bowl shape (and frankly, calabash bowl styles would disprove your theory)- it’ll be hard to light…

    BUT! As a firework lighter- yesss!
    I’d buy one right now!

    *I started smoking my uncle Bill's cigarillos when I was 12. 2 years later, I started smoking one of my grand-dad's pipes...

    Big O, Mahitahi, Te Wahi … • Since Feb 2007 • 5643 posts Report Reply

  • Chris Waugh, in reply to Islander,

    As a firework lighter

    Cigarettes are surprisingly useful for that. They don't fear wind and they stay lit for quite a long time. Only trouble is getting the cigarette's lit, but that's 2 minutes of yuk needed to get the new year's fireworks going.

    Beijing • Since Jan 2007 • 1959 posts Report Reply

  • Islander, in reply to Chris Waugh,

    Agreed Chris - but I've never smoked cigarettes and would hate to contaminate my thrice yearly cigars...

    Big O, Mahitahi, Te Wahi … • Since Feb 2007 • 5643 posts Report Reply

  • BenWilson, in reply to Islander,

    It’s how your tobacco is tamped!

    Tobacco smokers are well catered for on the convenience front. But unprocessed medicinal herbs don't burn so well, and the smokers find themselves having to light practically every puff, inhaling the byproducts of butane or alcohol combustion in the process. The lighters get hot and uncomfortable to hold, especially upside down, and striking them can become difficult. The huge flame is overkill if only small puffs are desired, so the smoke itself is much less hot, and there is less wastage between puffs.

    A small side effect is that the glowing end is far less noticeable than a sparking flash and a big flame, and switching it on and off is soundless, so if you're trying to have a peaceful smoke at night without being noticed, it's good for that.

    I was actually trying to invent a portable, quick, low volume vaporizer as an even healthier alternative, the lighter came as an afterthought.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 8305 posts Report Reply

  • Ian Dalziel, in reply to Islander,

    50 Shades of Ash...
    Smokin' tales of butts, fags 'n' fugs!

    I started smoking my uncle Bill’s cigarillos when I was 12.
    2 years later, I started smoking one of my grand-dad’s pipes…

    This has my vote for Best Opening Line
    of a potential mega-selling
    homegrown franchise!!

    The Cigarette Card explorations
    of a coast-hoppin', culture-crossin',
    white-baitin' 'n' cussin' words-worthy!


    With this simple premise Puff-On Books was born!
    The age of the Roman d'Fumier was here...
    part papered, always
    beautifully bowled...
    things were rolling,
    Zig Zag - Helter Skelter


    This reeks of a slow burner
    but, someone could make a wad!

    I'll plug on...

    The following titles are still available:
    Burnt Fingers ...
    Hot Tampered...
    Forever Ember...
    Vanilla Flake...
    Vapid Vapors Victorious...
    Capstan Courageous!
    Piped Aboard...
    Going Through a Brier Patch...
    Coarse Shag!

    and of course not forgetting the cross-genre potential:
    The Happy Hookah! Adult
    A Maiden Over Bowled Cricket memoir
    Foxed and Smoulder (the Ex-Files) Paranormal
    Drag on, the Magic Puff... Supernatural
    Suck my Butt... Vampire Dram-Com
    Nightshade - Quantum of Solanaceae... Bond age?
    Nicotine Age Rebellion... Young Adult
    The Meerschaum Vapors... Steam Punk
    The Tampa Chronicles, Packing Heat... Florid Noir
    Humidor or Cuspidor: Kept on the Spit... even Floridder Noir

    I see a series of 48 (or some similar Imperial Number)
    cigarette cards - in a tin (or perhaps an album
    or just a rubber band or shoelace around them)
    Collaged coloured fronts - boot black backs
    all aromatically suffused with the miasmic
    nasal nightshades redolent of a good fug!

    As I've said before; "Set your phrases to stun!"
    as we Cloud Source a modern artefact...

    Now for some breakfast!

    Yrs
    Sol Petre
    The Pipes, The Pipes...
    He does go on...

    Christchurch • Since Dec 2006 • 4555 posts Report Reply

  • Chris Waugh,

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    “Fishing and swimming strictly forbidden”

    This is how strictly. Well, there's water there in the summer, but I doubt there's ever any fish to catch.

    Beijing • Since Jan 2007 • 1959 posts Report Reply

  • Chris Waugh,

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    Pylon, trees, 4th Ring Road, 四方桥/Sìfāng Qiáo (4 Square Bridge?), 'nother pylon and that pointy thing? Some kind of Magic Mountain inside 欢乐谷/Huānlègǔ/Happy Valley amusement park.

    Beijing • Since Jan 2007 • 1959 posts Report Reply

  • Chris Waugh,

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    Dancing cranes.

    Beijing • Since Jan 2007 • 1959 posts Report Reply

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