Cracker by Damian Christie

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Cracker: I don't just read the newspaper. I get it.

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  • Sofie Bribiesca,

    Just reading Andrew

    Hah - yes we have those lovely pictures on our ciggy packs, I was watching an ad last night with a tragic case - a guy recounting his radiotherapy as a result of smoking (no idea if he was an actor).

    Lots of lurid pictures of cancer, tragic slurring of lines - at this stage I wonder if it'd be easier now just to ban cigarettes completely.

    yes he is real. Met a couple who know him and after the smokers finished complaining about things like you must get pregnant when you smoke and that the fungy foot one wasn't real because nobody had seen one, the couple of his friends lit up and choked. Oh how we laughed.But I also have a friend with a hole in his throat and he still sits with the smokers. He was given 6 months (like the guy in the ad) and we still can't get rid of him 35 years later! And, many of us do try. ;)

    here and there. • Since Nov 2007 • 6796 posts Report

  • James Francis,

    Oh, come on. A handful out of people out of hundreds-of-thousands isn't exactly impossible. Statistically it's almost a certainty that you'll be able to find a few people who are your customers and can be presented to a camera, when that's your sample.

    The chances are that they will be talent. It's extraordinarily difficult to find staff who look right and can act and are willing to appear on camera. And then multiplying that by two looking for real clients with the same qualities. The cost of that alone, for the film company, would make the merely expensive into the stratospherically prohibitive.

    St John's, Newfoundland • Since Nov 2006 • 121 posts Report

  • Rob Hosking,

    I just spent a few days in Wanaka. Minus four degrees at 8am, and there were a bunch of smokers outside where I was staying, puffing away and trying not to slip over on the ice.

    Now that's addiction, I thought. (I'm a reformed smoker, btw, who occasionally puffs, mostly after the second drink, and I refuse to get puritanical about smokers...also there is, in my experience, something in Emma's comments about the good conversations)

    South Roseneath • Since Nov 2006 • 830 posts Report

  • Rob Hosking,

    Oh, and on the being taken in by adverts theme....I know someone who, last week, when being driven past a billboard for the 'Burying Brian' series, shook her head and said 'I think its so sad about that missing man....' Seriously.

    South Roseneath • Since Nov 2006 • 830 posts Report

  • Craig Ranapia,

    Oh, and Craig, while I'm sure you're a considerate smoker, as are most of the handful of them I know, there are plenty of obnoxious smokers out there.

    And in the same spirit, most non-smokers I know aren't that bad either. As the old Japanese proverb goes, it's the hollow drum that makes the most noise. :)

    Oh, and on the being taken in by adverts theme....I know someone who, last week, when being driven past a billboard for the 'Burying Brian' series, shook her head and said 'I think its so sad about that missing man....' Seriously.

    At least she hasn't watched the damn show. Least said, soonest mended.

    North Shore, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 12370 posts Report

  • Sam F,

    I love those leper colonies... Back steps at a party is always the best conversation zone.

    Emma, why do I agree with nearly everything you say about any given topic? It's... kind of freaking me out. :)

    Me three. Only having to quickly Alt+Tab back to work stopped me from saying exactly the same thing earlier!

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 1611 posts Report

  • Matthew Poole,

    The chances are that they will be talent.

    In which case, ANZ could find themselves on the end of a BSA and/or Fair Trading Act complaint. Deceptive/misleading practices are illegal. Telecom's on very, very thin ice with the McCallum ad, because of how it was presented, and the banks have to deal with an interested regulator as well as the advertising oversight bodies.

    It's extraordinarily difficult to find staff who look right and can act and are willing to appear on camera.

    That'd be why University of Auckland has so much difficulty finding students to be in the various faculty and university publicity materials, right? Because they are real students, not hired talent. Posed, certainly, and selected for their looks, but nonetheless real students. The problem is easily overcome by making a broadcast approach to all potentially eligible persons asking if any would be interested.

    And then multiplying that by two looking for real clients with the same qualities

    Hardly. I've only seen the ad with the Scotsman, but it would be easy to find staff who "fit" and then ask them about any particularly memorable stories that would be good from an advertising perspective. Track down the involved customers, see if they also fit, go from there. The bank's marketing people could handle most of that themselves, no need to get the film crews involved until the talent's been found.

    The ads aren't terribly complex. They involve looking at the camera and saying some lines. I know that acting's harder than it looks, but it's not that hard. We're talking about a 30-second commercial, not a LotR-length epic.

    Auckland • Since Mar 2007 • 4097 posts Report

  • James Francis,

    So, you've made a commercial, Matthew?

    St John's, Newfoundland • Since Nov 2006 • 121 posts Report

  • andrew llewellyn,

    So... did Sarah really work for AMI?

    Since Nov 2006 • 2075 posts Report

  • Rob Stowell,

    Dunno about Matthew, but I've made a few commercials. Most often with non-actors. It can work, and what he sez seems plausible to me.

    Whakaraupo • Since Nov 2006 • 2120 posts Report

  • Sofie Bribiesca,

    And Craig

    people like me, who wear cardigans without irony. :)

    was informed by our bar staff that cardigans are all the rage.(you little trend setter). And proof of this was a chav party t'other night, where to my delight I saw many cardis (and sweat bands, and head bands,They had included adidas in the theme.:)

    here and there. • Since Nov 2007 • 6796 posts Report

  • Matthew Poole,

    So, you've made a commercial, Matthew?

    No, only acted with many people who have been in them. And I flat with a guy who was dancing talent in one that showed in the US, having never been in front of a TV camera before. So I know that it's entirely possible to take people who have minimal polish and turn them into something that can be used in a matter of days.

    I'm not doubting the relative scarcity of people who can actually come across well in front of a camera, but you're making out that there's simply no possible way that they could be using real people. Remember, we're talking about a very large bank with a very large advertising budget. Finding a handful of staff and customers to be in ads is easily within their capabilities.

    Also, as I observed above, they've done it before. ANZ uses its own staff in adverts. I know that for absolute certain from a friend who used to work for them. So if they can find staff, why is it so impossible to believe they can find customers?

    Auckland • Since Mar 2007 • 4097 posts Report

  • James Francis,

    Sofie, forgive my ignorance but what's a chav?

    Now it feels desperately like a middle-aged man trying to talk 'yoof'.

    On the other hand, maybe I shouldn't ask.

    St John's, Newfoundland • Since Nov 2006 • 121 posts Report

  • Emma Hart,

    Emma, why do I agree with nearly everything you say about any given topic? It's... kind of freaking me out. :)

    Me three. Only having to quickly Alt+Tab back to work stopped me from saying exactly the same thing earlier!

    I think you'll find it's because I'm incredibly intelligent, articulate and reasonable - when we agree.

    Actually, the 'me and Danielle' thing is getting to the mildly freaky point, just like when it was turning out I was I/O's wife...

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report

  • Emma Hart,

    Sofie, forgive my ignorance but what's a chav?

    Just do better than me and don't betray the fact that you think it's pronounced 'shaav'.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report

  • James Francis,

    you're making out that there's simply no possible way that they could be using real people.

    I thnk you're putting words in my mouth. I said that they were probably talent.

    Yes, you can use 'real' people but as I said before most commercials are made with talent.

    St John's, Newfoundland • Since Nov 2006 • 121 posts Report

  • James Francis,

    Just do better than me and don't betray the fact that you think it's pronounced 'shaav'.

    You mean that not only do I not know what a chav is but I can't pronounce it either? Now I'm feeling very insecure.

    St John's, Newfoundland • Since Nov 2006 • 121 posts Report

  • Matthew Poole,

    Yes, you can use 'real' people but as I said before most commercials are made with talent.

    Oh, of course. And everyone knows it (I hope). But the fact that ordinary industry practice is to use talent doesn't mean that nobody does otherwise.
    Most ads don't pretend to portray "real" people, in the sense that you don't watch them and think that you're getting a look at someone's life. That's part of the reason people are offended over the McCallum ad, because its portrayal was as an insight into real people doing real things. Ads that take that approach are few and far-between. Look at the fire safety ads as another example. They're real fire service personnel giving a message. They may or may not having acting experience, though I doubt it, but they're unquestionably actual fire fighters. The one who's a Chief Fire Officer is easily checked out through the NZFS web site, as all stations are listed along with the CFO/DCFO.

    Don't discount large organisations' willingness to go through the extra hurdles of getting their own personnel involved, because the impact of the ads is much greater. I mostly ignore ads, but I know immediately that I have seen the Scotsman ad for ANZ. I know fairly well how it goes, too. That's a rare ad for me, most of them have to be shown to me or described in great detail before I can recall if I have or haven't seen them never mind remember how they go.

    Auckland • Since Mar 2007 • 4097 posts Report

  • andrew llewellyn,

    Now I'm feeling very insecure.

    You're in company.

    BTW, when did the term "bling" appear? Got accused (by a 15 year old) of being try hard for using the word "bling" recently.

    ANyway, I assured them it was my generation that coined it (Mr T?)& maybe they should find their own word. But that was largely bluff.

    Since Nov 2006 • 2075 posts Report

  • James Francis,

    Why do I feel that a simple comment has right-turned into a diatribe?

    As soon as I find out what a chav is I'm going back to work.

    Writing an ad.

    St John's, Newfoundland • Since Nov 2006 • 121 posts Report

  • Sofie Bribiesca,

    The ads aren't terribly complex. They involve looking at the camera and saying some lines. I know that acting's harder than it looks, but it's not that hard. We're talking about a 30-second commercial, not a LotR-length epic.

    It is not so hard to find a look (yes, have made ads) but, so often it's easier to go through the talent agencies so they can do your request and tick all the boxes before they audition.Then you can begin the rest, like location,coordination of everyones time, design,art department , production,etc etc . One westpac ad required 2 gay guys. My friend was a bit perturbed (her agency), she wanted to know an appropriate way to ask if your'e gay or not. They wanted "authentic". She felt it was discriminatory. I was told once I would be perfect for a Macdonalds ad. Had the look they were after, at which moment I pointed out, I bet I didn't have the mouth they wanted to hear.Quite anti that company to put it nicely.:)

    here and there. • Since Nov 2007 • 6796 posts Report

  • Rob Hosking,

    The bank ads which had me and the soul mate wondering were the Westpac ones...especially about the woman with the lisp who talked about being 'a corporwate lawyer, tewwibly wesponsible...' who then got a loan to do something improbably creative.

    It looked like actors, but the lisp thing had a sort of blemish of authenticity aspect to it.

    South Roseneath • Since Nov 2006 • 830 posts Report

  • Don Christie,

    "Excuse me, please and thank you".

    The still sorely missed Mel's Diner in Berhampore did a great meal but was also a hang out for big biker chaps (Satan's Slaves HQ just down the road).

    Pregnant GF and were I just about to tuck into our iron filled burgers when one BBC lights up a cigar. To this day I don't know how I did it but I used Craig's exact words. After a pregnant pause was treated to a "no worries mate" and the cigar being stubbed out.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1645 posts Report

  • 3410,

    As soon as I find out what a chav is I'm going back to work.

    Pretty sure it's like some London version of "white trash".

    Auckland • Since Jan 2007 • 2618 posts Report

  • James Francis,

    Thank you.

    My work and wandering attention thanks you.

    St John's, Newfoundland • Since Nov 2006 • 121 posts Report

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