Field Theory by Hadyn Green

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Field Theory: Settle a bet

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  • Cheryl Bernstein,

    I think you're right; the great writers have moved from the movies to cable TV; the eminently quotable 'Deadwood' being a case in point. From the mighty David Milch, delivered by Ian McShane as the equally mighty Al Swearengen: "In life you have to do a lot of things you don't fucking want to do. Many times, that's what the fuck life is... one vile fucking task after another."

    Not many better quotes than that one.

    Christchurch • Since Mar 2009 • 7 posts Report Reply

  • JackElder,

    Lord of the Rings had the classic "One does not simply walk into Mordor.", ditto "You shall not pass."

    Wellington • Since Mar 2008 • 708 posts Report Reply

  • JackElder,

    But I think you're confusing cool quotability with "saw it when I was a kid and my brain swallowed it whole". I think if you took a 15-year old kid and asked them for some quotable lines from their favourite films, you'd get a landslide.

    As someone said to me, Avatar is for eight-year olds now what Return of the Jedi was for me as a kid.

    Wellington • Since Mar 2008 • 708 posts Report Reply

  • David Ritchie,

    "Hey, it's me."
    "Prove it."
    ".... You're a dick."

    Just in time for the 10-year limit. Phew!

    Wellingtron • Since Nov 2006 • 163 posts Report Reply

  • Lyndon Hood,

    "You shall not pass."

    Or, to 'cross the streams' as it were:

    "Sir Ian, Sir Ian Wizard! You shall not pass! Sir Ian, Sir Ian ... "

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1096 posts Report Reply

  • recordari,

    My kids can quote Toy Story, Monsters Inc, Ice Age (1 & 2), Up, and sing most songs from tweenie TV shows. Being not yet 10, I think that qualifies.

    So I agree with JackElder. I'm an old fart with short term memory loss (my words) ;-)

    Oh, 'and this one time, at band camp...' AP 2 - 2001. Yuss!

    AUCKLAND • Since Dec 2009 • 2607 posts Report Reply

  • Tom Beard,

    Of. All. Time!?!

    Ahem: Casablanca. Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Gone with the Wind. 2001: A Space Odyssey.

    And any film version of a Shakespeare or Oscar Wilde play comes pre-loaded with quotability.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1039 posts Report Reply

  • Zippy Gonzales,

    Can I get any of you cunts a drink?

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 186 posts Report Reply

  • philipmatthews,

    My kids can quote Toy Story, Monsters Inc, Ice Age (1 & 2), Up, and sing most songs from tweenie TV shows.

    It's interesting, that -- these kids' movies, and Shrek's a really good example, are written as quotable comic dialogue, much more so than Disney movies from the 30s to the 90s were. The influence of sitcoms and the wise-cracking 80s/90 action movie.

    Also, I imagine there are people quoting dialogue from the likes of Superbad, Knocked Up, The Hangover.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2007 • 642 posts Report Reply

  • Hadyn Green,

    Of. All. Time!?!
    Ahem: Casablanca. Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Gone with the Wind. 2001: A Space Odyssey.

    First let me acknowledge how weird it was to write this using the quote tags.

    Casablanca, GwtW and 2001 all do have great quotes in them, but do they have enough? 2001 might be the closest of that lot.

    Of course I had forgotten the Monty Python films and in general. Let us gather together a great number of shoes!

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2081 posts Report Reply

  • Hadyn Green,

    Oh, 'and this one time, at band camp...' AP 2 - 2001. Yuss!

    I think technically this came from AP1

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2081 posts Report Reply

  • Cheryl Bernstein,

    Also, I imagine there are people quoting dialogue from the likes of Superbad, Knocked Up, The Hangover.

    Oh, go on then.

    "Not you, fat Jesus."

    It's hardly Casablanca, though.

    Christchurch • Since Mar 2009 • 7 posts Report Reply

  • Tom Beard,

    Casablanca, GwtW and 2001 all do have great quotes in them, but do they have enough? 2001 might be the closest of that lot.

    The thing with Casablanca is that it's so quotable, people don't know that they're quoting it. Phrases such as "round up the usual suspects", "this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship", "we'll always have Paris", "I was misinformed" and "it doesn't amount to a hill of beans" have become part of the general lexicon.

    Ghostbusters, on the other hand ... apart from "who you gonna call?" and "he slimed me!", I can't really remember a thing. I guess it just depends upon what you were a fan of.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1039 posts Report Reply

  • Danyl Mclauchlan,

    'What's the most you ever lost on a coin toss?'

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 902 posts Report Reply

  • James Butler,

    Even the Lord of the Rings trilogy didn't have a decent quote.

    "...And my axe!" doesn't do it for you?

    Auckland • Since Jan 2009 • 801 posts Report Reply

  • recordari,

    I think technically this came from AP1

    Yeah, but that was 1999, and I can't remember back that far ;-)
    Ok you caught me cheating.

    This list was sort of interesting.

    AFI's 100 YEARS...100 MOVIE QUOTES (2005)

    List of the 400 nominated movie quotes.

    List of the 100 winning quotes.

    From 2005, but the only quote from the noughties to make the cut was 'My precious'.

    AUCKLAND • Since Dec 2009 • 2607 posts Report Reply

  • BlairMacca,

    "Do you have any regrets?
    Garfield... maybe"

    Wellington • Since Apr 2007 • 201 posts Report Reply

  • Hadyn Green,

    "...And my axe!" doesn't do it for you?

    Nah, it doesn't have the same versatility as "There is no [whatever], only Zuul"

    "Do you have any regrets?
    Garfield... maybe"

    I can't argue with that one, I loved that film

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2081 posts Report Reply

  • Richard Irvine,

    Wayne's World is ALL quotes - I remember that magical time in the early 90s when eveyone was saying 'Not!' 'Schwing!' 'A sphicnter says what?' 'Sure, but monkeys might fly out of my butt!' etc etc.

    They got old quickly, but I loved some of the others, and still used 'its sucking my will to live!' and 'No stairway?' for years afterwards.

    Can I get any of you cunts a drink?

    YES!

    Auckland • Since Dec 2006 • 241 posts Report Reply

  • 3410,

    the eminently quotable 'Deadwood'

    "San Francisco cocksucker!"

    Auckland • Since Jan 2007 • 2618 posts Report Reply

  • James Butler,

    "Oh my gosh! The bear, Miss Chocolate, has left me her poop! It's her crap! It was just in her butt and it's still warm! This is a gift from Miss Chocolate!"
    - Timothy Treadwell, Grizzly Man

    Re. TV quotes, "Money be green!" from The Wire, s.1 ep.1 is surprisingly useful.

    Auckland • Since Jan 2009 • 801 posts Report Reply

  • James Butler,

    Also from Grizzly Man:
    "I believe the common character of the universe is not harmony, but chaos, hostility, and murder."

    I admit I'm looking these up for accuracy, but I did remember them, honest.

    Auckland • Since Jan 2009 • 801 posts Report Reply

  • Angus Robertson,

    Also, I imagine there are people quoting dialogue from the likes of Superbad, Knocked Up, The Hangover.

    Tigers love pepper. They hate cinnamon.

    Auckland • Since May 2007 • 984 posts Report Reply

  • Robyn Gallagher,

    The trouble with quoting dialogue from films is most people can't do it with the talent of the original actors.

    I avoided Monty Python for years when all I'd heard was geeks saying stuff like "He's not the messiah!!! He's a very naughty boy!!!! lolz".

    It turns out when the lines are delivered by professional comedy actors and not by snickering geeks, they're actually genuinely funny.

    Raglan • Since Nov 2006 • 1863 posts Report Reply

  • MikeE,

    clearly you forget Clerks 2, the most quotable movie of all time:

    Randal Graves: That look was so gay. I thought Sam was gonna tell the little hobbits to take a walk so he could saunter over to Frodo and suck his fucking cock. Now *that* would have been an Academy Award worthy ending.
    Hobbit Lover: Hey faggot, they're not gay! They're hobbits!
    Randal Graves: And then, right after the Sam/Frodo suckfest, right before the credits roll, Sam fucking flat out bricks in Frodo's mouth.

    ===============

    Randal Graves: All right, look, there's only one "Return," okay, and it ain't "of the King," it's "of the Jedi."
    Hobbit Lover: Oh, Star Wars geek.
    Randal Graves: Oh, I'm the geek? Look at you two whipping out your preciouses.
    Elias: You'll have to excuse him, he's not "down" with the trilogy.
    Randal Graves: Oh, what the fuck happened to this world? There's only one trilogy, you fucking morons.
    Hobbit Lover: You know what, maybe we should start calling your friend Padme, because he loves Manakin Skywalker so much, right?
    [in robot voice]
    Hobbit Lover: Danger danger, my name is Anakin. My shitty acting is ruining saga.
    Elias: [chucking] Yea-Yeah, you're crazy, Jar-Jar.
    Randal Graves: Oh, I'm crazy? Those fuckin' hobbit movies were boring as hell. All it was, was a bunch of people walking, three movies of people walking to a fucking volcano.

    ===============

    Teen #1: You guys holding?
    Jay: Shit, everything but coke, heroin and your cock.
    Teen #2: What?
    Teen #1: How 'bout a nickel bag, man?
    Jay: [singing] Oh, fifteen bucks, little man, put that shit in my hand. Nong, nong, ning-a ning-a nong nong!
    Teen #1: [to friend] He likes to sing.

    ===============

    Elias: That's bestiality, Randal!
    Randal Graves: At its finest, I hope.
    Elias: Who would want to see something like that?
    Randal Graves: Me, Dante, *you*.
    Elias: I don't wanna see something like that! Why would you wanna see something like that?
    Randal Graves: Because it's fucked up! And, I wanna see if a chick with a mouth full of donkey spunk swallows. Alright, here we go. Kinky Kelly and the Sexy Stud. Strait from their dirty debut in Tijuana, Kelly's taking it on the road. Taking it in the Ass, that is. You gotta give it up for Oscar Wilde-like wordplay that good.
    Elias: Do they show pictures?
    Randal Graves: Only one of Kinky Kelly sucking off Optimus Prime.
    Elias: Really?
    [Randal hits Elias]
    Elias: Ow.
    Randal Graves: Lemme borrow your cell phone.
    Elias: [nervously] Oh... 'Cause I'm only supposed to use it to call my parents in case of an emergency.
    Randal Graves: This is an emergency. We gotta lock up Kinky Kelly for tonight so we can give Mr. Dante a memorable send off. You love Mr. Dante, don'tcha?
    Elias: In a non-gay way.

    ===============

    Randal Graves: Why haven't you fucked Myra yet?
    Elias: Well, we can't because of Pillow Pants.
    Randal Graves: What the fuck's Pillow Pants?
    Elias: Pillow Pants is a little troll who lives in her pussy.
    [Randal stares]
    Elias: Pillow Pants is her pussy troll?
    [scoffs]
    Elias: Duh. You know how every girl's parents put a pussy troll in them when the girls are young, to keep them from having premarital sex?
    Randal Graves: ...Sure.
    Elias: Well Myra's is named Pillow Pants. And so even though she totally wants to have sex with me, Myra says if I put my... thing in her, Pillow Pants will bite it off. So, I gotta wait until Pillow Pants gets peed out of her body on her 21st birthday before we can have sex.
    Randal Graves: [floored] And Myra told you this?
    Elias: Boyfriends and girlfriends talk to each other about sex stuff Randal. You'd know this if you ever had a girlfriend.
    Randal Graves: Have you and Myra even kissed yet?
    Elias: We would have already if it wasn't for Listerfiend.
    Randal Graves: [beat] Listerfiend is her mouth troll, isn't it?
    Elias: [shakes head] Women.


    Etc, etc...

    Kingsland • Since Nov 2006 • 138 posts Report Reply

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