Hard News by Russell Brown

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Hard News: God's squads

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  • Sam F,

    Grant: let us know the results of your email, please. I've tried to parse the FF website, but can't quite work out a solid message from the (atrociously expressed) sentence you quoted...

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 1558 posts Report Reply

  • Ian MacKay,

    Helen was called into a meeting at TV 3 this afternoon. A new Secret Tape apparently tonight on TV3.

    Bleheim • Since Nov 2006 • 498 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    Amend the law to protect the unborn children from conception

    Whoa... we're protecting unborn children from conception? Why would they need to be protected from conception, and isn't it, well, a bit late for that?

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4366 posts Report Reply

  • mark taslov,

    fucking funny don't you think how everyone has a bandwidth of an opinion about what happens to unborn babies and womens' uterus and no one gives a so much as a droplet of a fuck about young boys getting their foreskins cut off and thrown out for the dogs

    your taxed dollar • Since Mar 2008 • 1509 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown,

    Helen was called into a meeting at TV 3 this afternoon. A new Secret Tape apparently tonight on TV3.

    How big it would have to be to swing the election now?

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 18888 posts Report Reply

  • mark taslov,

    big enough to earn the suffix '-gate'

    your taxed dollar • Since Mar 2008 • 1509 posts Report Reply

  • Moz,

    Emma, that was exactly my reaction.

    I wonder if they mean "protect from contraception", since they occasionally seem to want to protect the rest of us from that too. But I think the meta-meaning is that they're against logic and plain language.

    Sydney, West Island • Since Nov 2006 • 482 posts Report Reply

  • Craig Ranapia,

    How big it would have to be to swing the election now?

    I think the more pertinent questions is, will this neutron bomb end up killing everything except the target again. I really think Duncan Garner and Labour have really used up their line of credit on these increasingly meh-some gotchas.

    North Shore, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 11995 posts Report Reply

  • Craig Ranapia,

    But, I've been leaked a copy of this neutronic bomb, and here are exclusive extracts I shared with Kiwiblog readers earlier today:

    <quote>Extract One:
    BILL ENGLISH: “Forsooth, Mary, you’re a hot piece of trim. I’d love to drag you into that broom closet rip off your [inaudible], and [expletive omitted] like P-crazed possums. Go ask John and Bronagh if they’d be up for a foursome. No I haven’t had enough to drink.”

    Extract Two:
    JOHN KEY: “I guess I was mildly pro the Trojan War, but I was far too busy dating Penelope of Ithica to really pay much attention. And if I had to make a choice, I’d definitely go gay for Achillies.”

    Extract Three:
    MAURICE WILLIAMSON: “What do you mean it’s a fucking cash bar? If you give me any more of that user-pays shit, I'll get Lockwood to deport you. And wash your hands...”

    North Shore, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 11995 posts Report Reply

  • Graeme Edgeler,

    Fact: In 1990 Bill Birch ran over student protester Felix Geiringer at Otago University.

    Resulted in a conviction too.

    For Felix.

    Wellington, New Zealand • Since Nov 2006 • 3004 posts Report Reply

  • Sam F,

    fucking funny don't you think how everyone has a bandwidth of an opinion about what happens to unborn babies and womens' uterus and no one gives a so much as a droplet of a fuck about young boys getting their foreskins cut off and thrown out for the dogs

    Hey, you got my attention at least. Now what exactly are you talking about?

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 1558 posts Report Reply

  • giovanni tiso,

    Ithica

    Key's poor spelling is what makes it believable.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7364 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown,

    But, I've been leaked a copy of this neutronic bomb, and here are exclusive extracts I shared with Kiwiblog readers earlier today:

    LOL.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 18888 posts Report Reply

  • andrew llewellyn,

    English-Gate perhaps - here's someone who thinks they're in the know.

    And good guess with the Trojan War Craig!

    Since Nov 2006 • 2073 posts Report Reply

  • Joe Wylie,

    . . . no one gives a so much as a droplet of a fuck about young boys getting their foreskins cut off and thrown out for the dogs

    Oh yes they do - see here for Israeli production of Interferon (is that still good for anything?) from foreskins:
    http://wis-wander.weizmann.ac.il/site/en/weizman.asp?pi=369&doc_id=4822

    Every foreskin that's wasted, makes God quite irate - although Fido, Muttley & Scooby Doo miss out on their tasty treats.

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 3506 posts Report Reply

  • Mikaere Curtis,

    Ah, yes the Family First party are pretty full on. Here's their launch video, which has a vigilante edge to it.

    I met some FF members at Otara Markets on Saturday when I was campaigning. They were very pleasant, but that was perhaps because I made point of discussing our policy overlap (doing something about the high social costs of gambling machines), rather than the vast chasm with respect to their other policies.

    The Pacific party were nice too, and quite upbeat about their chances.

    The Workers Party had a massive policy overlap with the Greens, with the exception of their ill-conceived "No Immigration Control Whatsoever" policy. Also, when I pointed out that their "MPs should get paid the average wage" policy would result on largely really rich people being in parliament, the nice young volunteer ventured that he didn't really understand all the policies...

    Tamaki Makaurau • Since Nov 2006 • 455 posts Report Reply

  • Craig Ranapia,

    Slightly more pertinently, Giovanni, my spelling may be shit but I know when to leave the dead horse alone. And I could be forgiven, after last week's farce, in thinking Duncan Garner's desire for another "gone by lunchtime" moment might just be running ahead of his news judgement. He just better have the goods this time, because the 'secret tapes' have - by any reasonable standard - been increasingly weak piss.

    North Shore, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 11995 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown,

    English-Gate perhaps - here's someone who thinks they're in the know.

    And the entry was ...

    One rumour (and it is only that) I heard is that it’s proof that English leaked the Hollow Men emails

    I'd actually thought all along that this, if anything, would be the bomb: there has been chatter to such effect since the book was published.

    But it does look as if the Kiwiblog commenter is simply repeating the same, possibly fanciful, chatter, rather than sharing a genuine tip.

    Meanwhile, Tumeke says it's English on the tape.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 18888 posts Report Reply

  • Judy Spencer,

    Craig

    'If it had been John Key going arse-up' the tape would have disappeared like the 'we would love to see wages drop' tape disappeared.

    Auckland • Since Feb 2008 • 23 posts Report Reply

  • giovanni tiso,

    Slightly more pertinently, Giovanni, my spelling may be shit but I know when to leave the dead horse alone.

    Sorry, I wasn't actively trying to be an arsehole... I thought your bit was very funny and was clumsily trying to add to the mirth.

    The Trojans would have been well advised to leave the horse alone too. Some people will never learn.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7364 posts Report Reply

  • Craig Ranapia,

    Meanwhile, Tumeke says it's English on the tape.

    And assuming it is, well, do you really think votes are going to flip at the revelation that (say) English doesn't actually totally agree with every line of policy? I rather doubt Michael Cullen does either. Or the stunning revelation that he's got entirely orthodox Catholic views on abortion? Clutch my pearls, girls! Perhaps he even gets really really pissed off occasionally and does really like all his collagues all that much?

    North Shore, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 11995 posts Report Reply

  • Judy Spencer,

    Russell

    I took a look at Family First. No doubt they are the first to talk about 'nanny state' but Conservatives are the actual control freaks - and I doubt that nanny would have much say in their rule making.

    Auckland • Since Feb 2008 • 23 posts Report Reply

  • Craig Ranapia,

    'If it had been John Key going arse-up' the tape would have disappeared like the 'we would love to see wages drop' tape disappeared.

    Like the tape of Garner and Espiner Jr. on their knees giving Key's cock and balls a literal licking to go with the figurative one? With all due respect, Judy, if you think footage like that wouldn't be trotted out ad nauseum you don't watch television news with both eyes open.

    And just a little reminder, I thought that footage of Clark being used by both Three and TVNZ was understandable but, IMO, mean. And that post on Kiwiblog was puerile, and if I'd noticed it I would have said something.

    North Shore, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 11995 posts Report Reply

  • andrew llewellyn,

    One rumour (and it is only that) I heard is that it’s proof that English leaked the Hollow Men emails

    I'd actually thought all along that this, if anything, would be the bomb: there has been chatter to such effect since the book was published.

    I said that - and I think I heard the rumour from you earlier in this thread :)

    The entry I meant was this one:

    Matey24 (17) Vote: 0 0 Says:

    November 4th, 2008 at 4:17 pm
    English talks frankly to someone posing to be extremely right wing. He reassures them, again, that JK and BE will push a hard right wing agenda once they get in - some quote about a ‘trojan horse’.

    He goes on to slag off Key and talks about a growing faction of National mps who back him over John.

    This was emailed to me half and hour ago. Not a transcript but from somebody who has it.

    Since Nov 2006 • 2073 posts Report Reply

  • andrew llewellyn,

    Bills Gate

    Since Nov 2006 • 2073 posts Report Reply

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