Hard News by Russell Brown

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Hard News: Popular Paranoiac Politics

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  • Megan Wegan, in reply to Lucy Stewart,

    I've always felt it was a bit too mean.

    Not nearly as mean as the time I was accosted walking along Ilam road, and I told them I didn't have time to listen, but that my flatmate was home, and gave them our address, though.

    Welly • Since Jul 2008 • 1275 posts Report Reply

  • giovanni tiso,

    Are you sure you didn't send them to the baseball stadium?

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report Reply

  • Megan Wegan, in reply to giovanni tiso,

    You what now?

    Welly • Since Jul 2008 • 1275 posts Report Reply

  • giovanni tiso,

    People don't get Blues Brothers references no more. It's a sad commentary on these troubled times we live in.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report Reply

  • Anonymous Author,

    When time allows, I invite God's traders inside, explain that I'm willing to be converted if their sales pitch stacks up (and that I really hope it does because that'd be neat for both of us) and continue to ask questions such as: does god really love a trier? is it true that your religion lets me have only 6 wives? are you sure? can an omnipotent god resolve an unresolvable paradox? heard of circular logic? what about this weather we're having? tried any other religions? read any good books lately? you look lonely, what are you doing later tonight? want to see my appendix scar? my gout then? – until they get unsettled into trying to close the deal, at which point I say that it's been real, but I'm not convinced.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2010 • 64 posts Report Reply

  • Megan Wegan, in reply to giovanni tiso,

    The youth of today, etc, etc.

    Welly • Since Jul 2008 • 1275 posts Report Reply

  • Martin Lindberg, in reply to giovanni tiso,

    People don’t get Blues Brothers references no more

    Well, they were on a mission from God too.

    Stockholm • Since Jul 2009 • 802 posts Report Reply

  • Lilith __,

    When I was young I once saw my Mum give some Religious Visitors a taste of their own medicine.

    You know how they often try to break the ice by commenting on the weather or something? Well my cat was sitting there and one of them said, “what a pretty cat,” and my Mum said, “You like animals?”, and they said, “Yes, I love animals!” and my Mum followed up with, “And are you vegetarian?” and they said, “No….but I love animals….” and while they were on the back foot she gave them a stern lecture on animal welfare and sent them away clutching some anti-vivisection pamphlets she happened to have. They never quite got around to saying whatever it was they had come to say. :-)

    Dunedin • Since Jul 2010 • 3895 posts Report Reply

  • Lyndon Hood,

    IIRC there was a story off Boing Boing a while ago about about a guy who liked sketching portraits of folk who came witnessing at his place. Or (I think it was the same chap) having impromptu baseball games. It sounded quite sweet.

    And apparently you can take advantage of Mormons' community-mindedness and get odd jobs done if you look like you might need it.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1115 posts Report Reply

  • Danyl Mclauchlan,

    I also have a crazy scheme to get rid of visiting proselytisers. I tell them that I'm not interested and they thank me and leave. This has never failed.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 927 posts Report Reply

  • BenWilson,

    This has never failed.

    It's failed me. But I have had some success with telling it to them repeatedly whilst slowly but firmly closing the door. I've never been thanked.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 10657 posts Report Reply

  • Jan Farr, in reply to Andre Alessi,

    No windows! And the air con wasn’t working so I couldn’t locate the vents. Also the elevator required a swipe card, and we were on the 12th floor.

    And she was bigger than you, eh?

    Carterton • Since Apr 2008 • 395 posts Report Reply

  • Craig Young,

    IA! IA!
    PH'NGLUI M'GLUNAFPH DON BRASH OREWA ROTARY CLUB WAGH NAGL F'TAGHN!
    THE STARS ARE NIGH TO COMING INTO THEIR RIGHT ALIGN, LO!
    THE GREAT OLD ONE SHALL ARISE FROM BEING DEAD-BUT-DREAMING!
    WOE UNTO YE WHO UNBELIEVE!
    THE THING THAT SHOULD NOT BE, HE RISES!
    IA! DON BRASH F'TAGHN!

    Craig Y (hee hee)

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 573 posts Report Reply

  • Joe Wylie, in reply to giovanni tiso,

    People don’t get Blues Brothers references no more. It’s a sad commentary on these troubled times we live in.

    Especially since Leonard Cohen, and some members of his current band, have appropriated The Look.

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 4593 posts Report Reply

  • Jan Farr, in reply to Paul Williams,

    a bit superficial.

    and that's an understatement.

    Carterton • Since Apr 2008 • 395 posts Report Reply

  • Jan Farr, in reply to Lucy Stewart,

    I usually just go with “Atheist. Go away now.”

    Communist works quite well, too.

    Carterton • Since Apr 2008 • 395 posts Report Reply

  • Jan Farr, in reply to Kumara Republic,

    But too often the antiPC campaign is being used as a cloak for justifying bigoted remarks and hateful attitudes.

    I've always thought that being PC was just another couple of words for not being a vicious bastard.

    Carterton • Since Apr 2008 • 395 posts Report Reply

  • HORansome,

    My mother (this was back in the sixties) dealt with two Mormons by telling them she would read the Book of Mormon if they'd read the Catechism of the Roman Catholic Church. What followed was, according to her, six weeks of quite interesting debate on the merits of each others' religion.

    Tāmaki Makaurau • Since Sep 2008 • 441 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha, in reply to Lilith __,

    They never quite got around to saying whatever it was they had come to say.

    core of any successful technique - head em off at the pass

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19745 posts Report Reply

  • Jason Kemp, in reply to Danyl Mclauchlan,

    I like your thinking Danyl. It seems that focus groups and excessive “soundbiting” of political content has led to indecisive election results in UK, Australia & NZ in recent times.

    The differences between parties A & B in each country have been so homogenised for public consumption that voters apparently flip a coin on the day.

    When it comes to personalities and who gets to be the minister for the various gravy trains that is where the fun begins.

    I would like Tanczos to grab the green party by the throat as I have not been impressed by the current leadership there. Rod Donald is sorely missed.

    There is an element of Rip van Winkle about Winston Peters – he only wakes up during elections and the news that he has been seen in media suggests there is an early election on the cards. I did read somewhere that the Rugby World Cup may impact on the election time table.

    As for Don Brash. Seriously he should think about his voting record. He was beaten by Garry Knapp (Socred remember them ?) in a 1980 election for a formerly held National Seat in East Coats Bays. He did have a couple of lucky moments later on but how much of that was luck and how much back room deal making we don’t know.

    I don’t think we will see a new right ring party although I never thought I’d see someone like Sarah Palin taken seriously either.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 368 posts Report Reply

  • Lucy Stewart, in reply to Jan Farr,

    I’ve always thought that being PC was just another couple of words for not being a vicious bastard.

    Trouble is, vicious bastards can be quite vicious and bastardly about their "right" to continue to be such.

    IIRC, the term "politically correct" was originally intended as satire. Sadly, no-one noticed.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2105 posts Report Reply

  • John Farrell,

    According to Wikipedia, the term was used seriously by the "New Left" in the early 1970s, and was then readopted by them in a satirical sense later. Its current use relates to its adoption by the political right in the USA in the 1990s.

    I owned book back in the 90s, published by Ten Speed Press, of politically correct definitions, which was definitely ironic in its intent.

    Dunedin • Since Nov 2006 • 499 posts Report Reply

  • Lucy Stewart, in reply to John Farrell,

    I owned book back in the 90s, published by Ten Speed Press, of politically correct definitions, which was definitely ironic in its intent.

    I think that's what I was thinking of.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2105 posts Report Reply

  • Carol Stewart,

    The politically correct fairy tales ..

    There once was a young person named Red Riding Hood who lived with her mother on the edge of a large wood. One day her mother asked her to take a basket of fresh fruit and mineral water to her grandmother's house -- not because this was womyn's work, mind you, but because the deed was generous and helped engender a feeling of community.

    were definitely offered in this spirit.

    Wellington • Since Jul 2008 • 830 posts Report Reply

  • Jan Farr, in reply to Lucy Stewart,

    Trouble is, vicious bastards can be quite vicious and bastardly about their “right” to continue to be such.

    Have noticed!

    Carterton • Since Apr 2008 • 395 posts Report Reply

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