Hard News by Russell Brown

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Hard News: Popular Paranoiac Politics

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  • nzlemming, in reply to andin,

    Me I’d just try to resurrect a form of Saturnalia suitable to these modern times.

    I think "reality television" has beaten you to that...

    Waikanae • Since Nov 2006 • 2937 posts Report Reply

  • Rich of Observationz, in reply to Kumara Republic,

    Somebody wielding a Bhagavad Gita tried to waylay me at lunchtime and tried to talk over my "sorry, I'm in a hurry" response. I'm all for religious tolerance, but I think we need to have a compromise along the lines of my not nailing them to a tree in return for their not subjecting the unwilling to their crap. And that goes for hippie and mainstream religions equally.

    Back in Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 5550 posts Report Reply

  • James Butler,

    Ooh, are we telling crazy Scientology anecdotes here?

    I once spent a couple of days in LA as a member of the New Zealand Youth Choir. On our one precious free afternoon, someone in the organisation had arranged for us to visit a local landmark and perform to a group of young musicians. What this turned out to be was a visit to the LA Celebrity Center, where a lively song-and-dance number informed us of the importance of keeping kids off drugs. We escaped as a group as fast as we could, chased by smiling PR androids bearing CDs and magazines (Jenna Elfman was on the cover, which dates it a bit).

    To this day I don't know if our choir admins were a) misled, b) infiltrated or c) possessed of an evil sense of humour.

    Auckland • Since Jan 2009 • 856 posts Report Reply

  • nzlemming,

    Mate of mine tells a story of when he was 15, saw 2 Mormons coming up the street, quickly grabbed a beer bottle and lit a cig as they knocked on his door. He opened it with “Gidday! How the fuck are ya? Come in and have a beer, we’re just about to say the rosary!”

    He claims they never bothered that house again.

    When I get accosted in the street by the religious, I smile politely and say “no thanks”. If they persist, I say loudly (and I can be very loud): “Fuck off!” whether they’re male or female (equal opportunity curser, me). I haven’t yet had to go to stage 3 which will be either smacking them in the head and claiming god made me do it or accusing them of being lizard people trying to take over the world with their black helicopters.

    Waikanae • Since Nov 2006 • 2937 posts Report Reply

  • andin, in reply to nzlemming,

    OK, how about a bacchanalia then…..
    Damn, forgot those cooking shows.
    The religious dont bother me...I have a mean glare
    Just one look and they are convinced they are looking into Beelzebub's eyes.

    raglan • Since Mar 2007 • 1891 posts Report Reply

  • Andrew E,

    My first girlfriend was Jewish. She didn't receive any repeat calls from those selling the Watchtower once she informed them of this....

    174.77 x 41.28 • Since Sep 2008 • 200 posts Report Reply

  • BenWilson,

    My first girlfriend was Jewish. She didn't receive any repeat calls from those selling the Watchtower once she informed them of this....

    It's what I usually claim to be. It's been successful so far. One fool tried to follow it up a bit: "Oh? Well we're in the same book then, if not on the same page?". Answer: "Yes! Oh, except for everything to do with Jesus". He left. Another asked me which Church I went to. Answer: "Synagogue. None". He left. One old lady asked "Have you ever heard of Jesus?". Answer: "Yes, a very famous Jew". She looked outraged, but left.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 10657 posts Report Reply

  • Joshua Drummond,

    Oh, goddammit, I just gave Muriel Newman money. Bought that Living Off The Smell Of An Oily Rag budgeting advice book today, and it turns out she's the co-authors. Perhaps her more whacked-out ramblings are the result of taking her own advice a bit too literally.

    Since Nov 2006 • 119 posts Report Reply

  • Sam F, in reply to HORansome,

    I’m not allowed to place them online for you all to look at

    Says who? The senders? I thought this was supposed to be the liberty-loving "archaeology wants to be free" crowd that always gets into dark mutterings about the establishment burying the truth. Without being overly conspiratorial (zing!), what are they hiding? Eh?

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 1611 posts Report Reply

  • ScottY,

    I just gave Muriel Newman money

    I know the feeling. I once bought an Ian Wishart book. I thought that as the years passed the pain and feelings of humiliation would recede, but they don't.

    West • Since Feb 2009 • 794 posts Report Reply

  • nzlemming, in reply to ScottY,

    I know the feeling. I once bought an Ian Wishart book. I thought that as the years passed the pain and feelings of humiliation would recede, but they don’t.

    At least I bought the first Paradise book when he was still vaguely sane. And I worked at the IRD ;-)

    I had my Nicky Hagar collection lined up on the desk when I was at SSC. Fun times…

    Waikanae • Since Nov 2006 • 2937 posts Report Reply

  • Kumara Republic,

    A libertarian viewpoint on Muriel points out she has consorted with a disgraced academic who is a known sympathiser of the Bloody Nasty People and the authors of The Bell Curve... (part 2 here)

    Ellis has worked closed with these very groups. His book on political correctness, published by Maxim, is meant to attack political correctness because these groups see politically correctness as an obstacle to their promotion of racism. That certainly is the view of "Occidental Quarterly". And Ellis made it clear that is his view as well. When he used a white nationalist organisation as the premier example of a group being attacked only because it was politically incorrect he made clear what it is he is trying to defend. He, in that statement, equated political incorrectness with racism.

    I am not saying that Newman is doing this. I doubt she is. I don't think she's a white nationalist. She has her own favoured groups to attack-particularly the gay community.

    But too often the antiPC campaign is being used as a cloak for justifying bigoted remarks and hateful attitudes. I've long been a critic of political correctness myself. But these days I feel uncomfortable criticising it. Not because being PC is a wonderful thing but because the antiPC advocates are using their campaign to cloak some very hateful views. I do not think that those who advocate freedom should even mention political correctness anymore lest they be identified with some very bigoted people.

    I do support defending the right of association, property rights, and freedom of speech. But I think we should drop the term "political correctness" from our vocabulary to clearly avoid any association with hate groups.

    The southernmost capital … • Since Nov 2006 • 5446 posts Report Reply

  • Ethan Tucker, in reply to DexterX,

    I would think he would be better off trying out as the lead singer of Bananarama...

    In the interests of accuracy, I'm sure you'll all thank me for pointing out that Bananarama don't have a lead singer. In fact their Wikipedia entry once noted that they are 'known for their unique vocal style which features all members singing in unison rather than three-part harmonies'. This information has since been removed at the request of the Sarcasm Police.

    Wellington • Since Apr 2008 • 119 posts Report Reply

  • Felix Marwick, in reply to Andrew E,

    My first girlfriend was Jewish. She didn’t receive any repeat calls from those selling the Watchtower once she informed them of this….

    I find a painted goat skull in view once the front front door opens works pretty well

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 200 posts Report Reply

  • HORansome, in reply to Sam F,

    Yes, it is a bit weird to be told by someone that "The mainstream media and orthodox academia does not want to see what I have to show you" and "You cannot show the mainstream media and orthodox academia this material evidence of a pre-Māori civilisation." Luckily for you, the evidence shows nothing of the sort, although, I suppose, you do have to trust my word on that. Maybe, as a member of the orthodoxy (and sometimes media person) I am hiding the truth from you all.

    But not tonight. I've had too much Leffe Blonde to hide the truth tonight.

    Tāmaki Makaurau • Since Sep 2008 • 441 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha, in reply to HORansome,

    brewed by Celts, right?

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19745 posts Report Reply

  • Lucy Stewart, in reply to nzlemming,

    I usually just go with "Atheist. Go away now." It's worked to date. Mind you, my accostings were largely on campus at Canty, and eighteen-year-olds eager to Save The World are a little easier to intimidate than the older, more experienced ones. I do know, though, that you don't want to get into an argument with any of them. It encourages them.

    On the other hand, during his Unfortunate Baptist Phase, my husband used to invite them in, get out his Bible, and point out all the bits they were taking out of context. Apparently that worked quite well, too - assuming you have the patience and theological knowledge (and eagerness to counter-convert.)

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2105 posts Report Reply

  • nzlemming, in reply to Lucy Stewart,

    Yes, that’s always fun. “That’s not what it actually says, you know” is a great line, especially if you can whip out a bible to prove your point. Carrying a physical one was not always possible, but once I got a PDA I had the King James on there, just in case… ;-)

    Waikanae • Since Nov 2006 • 2937 posts Report Reply

  • Lucy Stewart, in reply to nzlemming,

    Yes, that’s always fun. “That’s not what it actually says, you know” is a great line, especially if you can whip out a bible to prove your point. Carrying a physical one was not always possible, but once I got a PDA I had the King James on there, just in case… ;-)

    Those little Gideon New Testaments are kickass for that. Or for starting fires. On the other hand, I would be far more embarrassed at being found carrying a bible than I would telling the sort of people who accost one with religion in mind to go screw themselves, so. (Besides, as I said. Engaging with them does tend to encourage some of them.)

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2105 posts Report Reply

  • Ben Austin,

    I feel a little left out here as I've not been approached by any of the assorted organised faith outreach volunteers for at least a decade. A religious poet did shout something me outside Charing Cross a year or so ago, but that hardly counts

    London • Since Nov 2006 • 1027 posts Report Reply

  • BenWilson,

    I've long been a critic of political correctness myself. But these days I feel uncomfortable criticising it. Not because being PC is a wonderful thing but because the antiPC advocates are using their campaign to cloak some very hateful views.

    That's bang on. Too often I've been mildly critical of some attempt to hide that nothing has changed behind language changes, and then found myself in the uncomfortable company of bigots, and wished I'd said nothing, after a long argument with them about the merits of social progress in the last 250 years.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 10657 posts Report Reply

  • BenWilson,

    Mind you, my accostings were largely on campus at Canty, and eighteen-year-olds eager to Save The World are a little easier to intimidate than the older, more experienced ones.

    For sure, particularly when it's on your doorstep, so they know where you live, and you can't just run away, you have to stand and fight.

    On campus it's puppy-stomping. An ex-gf of mine, exhausted during enrollment, upon receiving her 20th-odd solicitation in quarter of an hour "Do you want to know about Jesus?" cut them down real fast with "No, I'd rather fuck a fishfork".

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 10657 posts Report Reply

  • JackElder,

    My wife was once approached by Mormons, who accosted her with "Excuse me, sir..." She cut them off sharp: "Mate, I'm a girl, and I don't want to know about your dumb-ass religion." One of them burst out laughing and they walked off.

    Wellington • Since Mar 2008 • 709 posts Report Reply

  • Megan Wegan, in reply to JackElder,

    Back when I was working in hospo, and used to sleep all hours of the day, I was once irritated to be woken by some religious door-knockers. (I don't remember of what persuasion.)

    I answered the door in my dressing gown, and told them I wasn't interested, and would they mind leaving because I was expecting a client soon.

    In my defense, I am not particularly rational first thing in the morning.

    Welly • Since Jul 2008 • 1275 posts Report Reply

  • Lucy Stewart, in reply to Megan Wegan,

    In my defense, I am not particularly rational first thing in the morning.

    That's not only rational, it's beautiful.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2105 posts Report Reply

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