I'm licking my fingers in anticipation.

Nice.

Emma, again:

The infamous ?finger licking good? scene showed just how shockingly rare actual foreplay is on television. Bless them, they were even doing ?porn for women? before it got trendy.

But tonight, we'll be watching the first episode of the final season of Outrageous Fortune. Live. Not even on the DVR. We'll find something to do during the ad breaks.

And so will we, sit down in front of the television and watch it live, every Tuesday. Feels weird. I?

dear curmudgeon reviewers ? bite me

I swear I just heard you say that out loud.

For all the sex and the swearing and the crime and the stupidity and the morally dodgy stuff, Outrageous Fortune was always, at heart a very conservative show, exploring family values.

It's also a show that managed, at it's considerable best, to skip along a very tricky tonal high wire:?

It could shift effortlessly between broad comedy (that was never mean-spirited or condescending) and high tragedy.

Yeah, nicely put.

I'm sure there are lots of women who'd take Van over Jethro. (Not literally.) Women who like caring, sensitive men. Nice guys, who'd do anything for you. I didn't nearly fall asleep just typing that or anything.

Yeah, I'm sure those women are out there. I just...don't know any.

I?

I'm sure there are lots of women who'd take Van over Jethro. (Not literally.) Women who like caring, sensitive men. Nice guys, who'd do anything for you. I didn't nearly fall asleep just typing that or anything.

I'm always going to heart Munter (sorry JeVan shippers) — though my fantasy?

It's a very beautiful, haunting?

Regarding James Griffin you forgot to mention "Spin Doctors" mocking the PR industry (could there be a worthier target?) which was seriously underrated.

Good point. His NZ On Screen bio reminds me he was also involved with Street Legal, which didn't altogether suck either, and was story producer on __Bro'?

Outrageous Fortune, definitely NZ's best show ever in my book.

Better even than the early years of Selwyn Toogood's It's in the Bag? More ground-breaking than Blerta? More important than Tangata Whenua?

Sorry, just a perennial thing I have about bold claims of best ever ... All Black performance, sporting?

Outrageous Fortune, definitely NZ's best show ever in my book.
All Black performance, sporting success, tv show

Sometimes it's valid though, right?

All whites: Best performance by New Zealand football team at a World Cup, ever.
All Blacks: Best performance by an All Blacks side rated number two in the?

Many many thanks for the love – and I hope you still love it tomorrow morning.

I'm only really here to answer?

My money's on Loretta, and Hayden "Bloody" Peters. Angry and rough, somewhere highly uncomfortable (perhaps in a Mini).

Spin Doctors was a bit OK too. Seemed to be based on some first-hand knowledge.

I'm only really here to answer Grant's music question – if it's the same song we used in the episode (and I'm pretty sure it is) it is The Veils "Sit Down by the Fire". We love The Veils at OF.

Yes, that's it ! Thank you. Thanks for using?

Many many thanks for the love – and I hope you still love it tomorrow morning.

Only if we feel respected.

Yes, that's it ! Thank you. Thanks for using some songs by the L.E.D.s last year, too.

I was going to mention that, but you did it for me. Using the L.E.D.s was a show of very good taste indeed.

All Blacks: Best performance by an All Blacks side rated number two in the world against the Springboks (rated number one) at Eden park, on Saturday 10th July 2010, ever.

Well for starters, the All Blacks are the #1 ranked team in the world, and the Springboks are #2. Has?

I'm only really here to answer Grant's music question – if it's the same song we used in the episode (and I'm pretty sure it is) it is The Veils "Sit Down by the Fire".

You had two Reb Fountain tracks in season 5, which had me all excited. Please?

Well for starters, the All Blacks are the #1 ranked team in the world, and the Springboks are #2.
I think some people would rate parts of the 1956 series in NZ, and the 1996 series (first time we won in South Africa) as best.

My bad.
I did say 'best?

I love Outrageous Fortune – but this feels like a wake too soon

Nah... I've done q quick mental audit of shows that were retrospectively diminished by hanging around long past their creative expiry date — a long and depressing list.

My money's on Loretta, and Hayden "Bloody" Peters. Angry?

Speaking of best OF, which would you rate as the best Outrageous Fortune episode?

Series 5, when Judd brought his baby back to the house, and Cheryl went missing. I can count the movies and TV episodes that have made me cry on one hand, that one broke me for?

the kinkiest thing they could do with Loretta is turn her into her mother, in a good way.

I'm trying to see the kink. Judd? Crikey.

I can count the movies and TV episodes that have made me cry on one hand, that one broke me for an hour or so.

I'll give you that. The shots of the bonfire have me concerned though.

This anticipation has two earworms playing over in my head.

__Dialing a?

Hugh Sundae's got cracking at the Herald and James' love letter to Outrageous Fortune is now online.

Nah... I've done q quick mental audit of shows that were retrospectively diminished by hanging around long past their creative expiry date

Craig, I meant this discussion here now – cos I'm feeling excited rather than melancholic. Going out on top is a great tactic for any show. I'll be?

I'll be more ready to talk about that at the end of the series, is all

Ah. Well, you see, that's end of the wake. This is the beginning. Pack wisely.

I grew up in Massey, and when I was 17 a short film called Universal Drive played on TV. I was really excited. Finally, a reflection of my part of Auckland, complete with a proper backyard party and road chase out to Bethells.

... and written by the wildly talented?

I agree heartily about the richness of the literary trove, just sitting there waiting to be adapted for?

Outrageous Fortune is now online.

That's two Teh Herald articles in one week that have made me go 'ugh, that's noice!'

Careful, I might start to believe in magic.

I'm trying to see the kink. Judd? Crikey.

Nah, I'd just love the very last scene to be a flash forward twenty years into the future where a psychotically maternal Loretta has Hayden and their hideously dysfunctional brood (with Munter and Kacey's spawn/Jane's best mate in there) lined up at?

Peter Wells' Jewel's Darl, starring a young Georgina Beyer, and an adaptation of C.K. Stead's A Fitting Tribute; also a kitchen sink drama starring Jennifer Ward-Lealand.

Prime's great History of NZ telly series featured brief clips from both.

ETA: Oh, Aaron Spiller you adorable creep. :)

We're back baby!

Mind you, we have a 16yo Japanese student with us for a fortnight, and I think he's learned a new word or two (and other things besides).

ETA: Apparently not — and it couldn't have happened to a nicer prick.

The Peters are going straight — and this time, Loretta is going to get it right.

I'm astonished by your sentimentality, Craig. That's an ending I'd never have picked. Now, down to business. MySky half loaded, bottle half drained, couch laid out...see yous in the morning. One A-von-da-lay Westie signing?

Woah.

Wow!

I like to give sufficient clues every so often so that if I ever got caught snorting something off a hooker, people would say "well, didn't you ever read his blog?"

Of course it would help if the references weren't so well disguised as tropical fish..

Using the L.E.D.s was a show of very good taste indeed.

and that good taste has spread to Go Girls as well... I wish someone would commission the L.E.D.s to do more music for TV and film.
though Outrageous Fortune has done Kiwi music in general proud! ??

Van seems to have taken an extra dose of stupidity pills over the summer break, whilst Munter has become a wise young mentor.

Cheryl pleading guilty? How will they tie her into the storylines now? Maybe?

Good lines, good laughs. But yeah, Cheryl in orange boiler-suit – how will the storyline pan out?

Cheryl pleading guilty? How will they tie her into the storylines now?

Quite easily, I imagine. Who wants to bet that everyone is going to try — and fail — to understand why the hell Cheryl did it, and they're not going to cope as only the West can, now?

I predict she will take charge of the family and things will go horribly wrong.

I predict she will take charge of the family and things will go horribly wrong.

Cynic.

Wrong enough for Cheryl to renege on the guilty plea, be released on the grounds of a PPD/PTSD combo (she has every right to be), and normal transmission will resume?

Pure speculation of course,?

Also Craig, your intuition of Loretta as new matriarch looks set to come true sooner than anyone thought.

I predict she will take charge of the family and things will go horribly wrong.

Indeed. At the risk of being an utter pseud, Loretta's tragic flaw is that she has all?

Oh God, I hope not — you don't put a character through losing a child and killing a man, then hit the reset button. Cheryl deserves better (or worse, I guess).

We haven't had an objective shot of the assault on Gerard yet — only snatches identified as memories by?

Road trip. Excellent!

But yeah, selective, conflicted memories around what really happened seem to be integral to the plot. Anyway, we will just have to wait and see.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qZsiNb676CQ

Road trip. Excellent!

In a Mini.

We haven't had an objective shot of the assault on Gerard yet — only snatches identified as memories by that freaky colour grading. Could be there's more to see there.

Sick fuck faking his own death, you mean? Or that Gerrard said or did something that would give Cheryl a?

Always blow on the pork pie.

PS That goes straight to the Pool Room, or is that Twitter these days? ;-)

PS That goes straight to the Pool Room, or is that Twitter these days? ;-)

Already.

First response suggests that Tim Shadbolt pops up to welcome them to Invercargill.

Or that Gerrard said or did something that would give Cheryl a defence, if she wasn't on some demented protective matriarch/self-destruction trip? I like the way you're bent, Mr. Brown.

It just strikes me that the fact they're showing it to us in such a piecemeal way suggests that there's?

But I?

It just strikes me that the fact they're showing it to us in such a piecemeal way suggests that there's more yet to see.

Perhaps he pulled the gun before she bashed/stabbed him. Then self-defense?

I think I do get the pony for the rudest sex pick. Surely cunnilingus trumps phone sex, straight missionary, and blow-up doll.

You're saying that cunnilingus is kinkier than humping an inflatable doll?

Already.

First response suggests that Tim Shadbolt pops up to welcome them to Invercargill.

Um, yes, my point was that where you go, I follow, so to speak.

You're saying that cunnilingus is kinkier than humping an inflatable doll?

Can I just interject that this vanilla fairy would say that's a pretty fine distinction? (Not that there's anything wrong with going down on a Spray 'N' Wipe Sally if that's your bliss,) :)

Me, I was more disturbed that he had no issues with the?

First response suggests that Tim Shadbolt pops up to welcome them to Invercargill.

At which point I will stop watching--unless they push him off a cliff or run him over, of course!

Cheryl in orange boiler-suit – how will the storyline pan out??

Orange Roughie Justice?
Shitty Life!
Chains, Chains, Chains, Ship of Fools...
whatever turns it takes, I'm sure it will be an extraordinary rendition...

when Munter patiently explains WHY the guy called him a pig wins as best comic moment on television this year.

Not at all, the toaster scene was much funnier.

However, I felt gamed. Nobody died, what the fuck, are you being clever or something? This had better not be a?

Van doing his nut at the guy who called him a pig, then the dawning realisation when Munter patiently explains WHY the guy called him a pig wins as best comic moment on television this year.

There's some serious pop culture DNA there with Grant Bowler playing the werewolf leader?

However, I felt gamed. Nobody died, what the fuck, are you being clever or something?

I think you'll find Detective Gerard was pretty goddamn dead by the end of it.

I quite liked the way they played with that: right up to the first shot of Pascalle looking like she?

It did seem rather silly that a villain would flee to a carpark at the very end of the Te Atatu peninsular, and then try to run for it (where to? Was he going to swim across to Pt Chev?)

I was just there on my bike a few days?

It did seem rather silly that a villain would flee to a carpark at the very end of the Te Atatu peninsular, and then try to run for it (where to? Was he going to swim across to Pt Chev?)

To be fair, and boringly prosaic, I'm sure there's all?

There?s an image of me, running out of the house, looking over the balcony. I see Pascalle, and for some unknown reason she?s lying in the garden ? and I?m thinking WTF??

So, points for realism.

Or real pointillism?

However, I felt gamed. Nobody died, what the fuck, are you being clever or something?

Okay, I'll admit I had a moment of this – three bullets fired, perhaps not sufficient dramatic pay-off.

But. Aurora died. Tama died. We've done death and we've done grief and we've done it on?

I kinda figured they were toying with us.

They didn't even come near to pissing me off, although I realise other people responded differently.

I kinda figured they were toying with us.

Anyway, what's the point of promos — to deliver eyeballs to the product, and it's not exactly hard when you've got a fake blood splattered cliff?

Sheree Greegan. In the hospital. With the poisoned drip. Has anyone got hospital?

Damn, I've got hospital. What's this crap you gave me? Aaron Spiller? Hah, ready to play. Spiller, in the Bongo, with a Rusty Nail.

Spiller, in the Bongo, with a Rusty Nail.

Jethro Tull, in the Mini, with a Spiller PNA Sample.

A bit late on the reply but: you can in fact watch both Jewel?s Darl and Universal Drive in full, for free, on NZ On Screen.

Also Jolisa: note we make a special mention of who the writers are in the synopses for both?