Hard News by Russell Brown

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Hard News: We invented everything

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  • Kyle Matthews,

    I do have to wonder at the sort of people who choose to be in those shows in the first place, particularly one like 'wife swap', where it's all set up to make you look like the moronic opposite of your moronic swap.

    There can't be this many people in the world who think that being on TV and made a fool of is an accomplishment in itself can there?

    Since Nov 2006 • 6227 posts Report Reply

  • BenWilson,

    I do have to wonder at the sort of people who choose to be in those shows in the first place

    I think it would most likely be an insidious trap. Initially, it could seem like a bit of fun. After a round or two, people who are naturally competitive would be dragged in to caring. If you've gone all the way to the end, it's basically a pride thing about not having wasted so much of your life for nothing.

    As with gambling, the lucky ones are the ones who fail right at the start.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 8737 posts Report Reply

  • Robbie Siataga,

    "Fuck you for profiting by wasting months of my time, I'm now going to get a real job that doesn't involve selling hot-dogs in a street stall, being tailed by goons, betrayed by friends, and talked down to by arrogant wankers".

    That lttle guy with the perfect teeth seems like the type of shit to try and blacklist you with his mates in the real world if someone actually said what they must think but dare not utter...

    I'm waiting for the 'rural apprentice' with that Crafar guy being the Don of the boardroom, though i think his credibility stock has gone way south like most of his cows while his farms are looking to go oriental.

    bummer cos i reckon he'd make great telly...

    Since Feb 2010 • 259 posts Report Reply

  • BlairMacca,

    Flatmates was definitely more like the Real World, if I remember rightly it was more of a fly on the wall doco and they could leave the house.

    But if you want to see reality tv taken to the sky, watch Jersey Shores... I'm not sure they can use the word reality in that

    Wellington • Since Apr 2007 • 201 posts Report Reply

  • BenWilson,

    That lttle guy with the perfect teeth seems like the type of shit to try and blacklist you with his mates in the real world if someone actually said what they must think but dare not utter...

    He really does look like he has a big stonk-on when he gets to say "You're fired". Really works himself up, swells up, goes rigid, and then releases it with a cutting hand gesture, holds it for a few seconds, then sinks back into his chair with a palpable air of release. If he would just roll over and go to sleep afterward it would complete the metaphor. Usually there is a cut to the money-shot, the fired-on giving a facial reaction, the wincing narrowing of the eyes and slight turn, the look of disbelief, rapidly resolving through hurt and then relief that the suffering is over, and the shot wasn't as bad as it might have portended after all - for all the carry on, it's only a few drops of language, carelessly flung, inconsequential, spilled in the wrong place and time anyway.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 8737 posts Report Reply

  • BlairMacca,

    Does anyone remember 'Going Straight' where people had to do a number of tasks that involved going in a straight line. That was pure genius whoever came up with that

    Wellington • Since Apr 2007 • 201 posts Report Reply

  • Robbie Siataga,

    haha Ben... i can just imagine him wanting to fire up a big stogie afterwards

    Hell, it makes me want to have a ciggy just reading bout it 'cept i dont smoke these days unless i'm drinking and thats pretty infrequent too.

    Since Feb 2010 • 259 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha,

    I'm waiting for the 'rural apprentice' with that Crafar guy being the Don of the boardroom

    On Radio NZ this morning (streaming 12 mins) he displayed the loudly arrogant ignorance that seems to make Americans perfect participants in such shows.

    Cows are athletes and I never saw a fat athlete.
    Seriously

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 16996 posts Report Reply

  • Kyle Matthews,

    Ben Elton's Chart Throb is a reasonably entertaining look at the Idol phenomena.

    Since Nov 2006 • 6227 posts Report Reply

  • Andre Alessi,

    Does anyone remember 'Going Straight' where people had to do a number of tasks that involved going in a straight line. That was pure genius whoever came up with that

    You mean the show where one of the contestants was horribly burned during a "challenge"?

    Devonport, New Zealand • Since Nov 2006 • 864 posts Report Reply

  • bronwyn,

    A friend and I tried out the new TVNZ on demand service on the PS3 the other night - not knowing what to watch, we basically just clicked the first thing on the first list we got to, which was The Apprentice. We couldn't get over how unintentionally hilarous it was. (It possibly helped that we had a strong injection of wine at the time).

    Also, they call him "Sir"? For real? This, along with the crushingly mundane tasks make it seem more like the world's strangest boarding school rather than a way to find a hot shot business talent.

    tamaki makaurau • Since Nov 2006 • 86 posts Report Reply

  • Andre Alessi,

    In all honesty, the kind of personality types The Apprentice is obviously looking for would fit in well with many real world senior management groups. It isn't about talent, it's about attitude (and I don't mean that as a compliment.)

    Devonport, New Zealand • Since Nov 2006 • 864 posts Report Reply

  • Craig Ranapia,

    I do the same. Then again, I have an excuse: my girlfriend's mother is a professional dressmaker, so just sitting in the room with them is an education on the fine art of clothes stitching. Even so, recent seasons have been dull as dishwater (and don't get me started on the Australian version...)

    Indeed -- even the traditional uber camp queens who can barely restrain their gag reflex at the sight of an actual woman aren't as entertaining as they used to be.

    Having said that, I'm not mad. Nobody should expect a finished haute couture with a hundred bucks and a day to do it. But even to my inexpert eye, I'm kind of shocked how often these people lack basic skills and make me wonder how they're going to cut it in an industry where you've got to handle pressure and criticism without imploding.

    North Shore, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 12073 posts Report Reply

  • Geoff Lealand,

    A Friday offer (not quite where else to put it):


    For filmies: if you go to the Directory of World Cinema site www.worldcinemadirectory.org, you can download a free copy of the just-published American Independent Cinema directory (337pp of it), edited by John Berra. A magnificent deal--I hope Intellect do the same with the Australia & New Zealand directory (edited by Ben Goldsmith and myself), later this year,

    Screen & Media Studies, U… • Since Oct 2007 • 2348 posts Report Reply

  • R James G Gates,

    Nick Tansley

    That reminds me of a show called " Put a Bucket on Your Head." Not a reality show but hosted by Nick Tansley. Anyone remember that? It had a studio audience, but I have no idea what it was about.

    Auckland • Since Sep 2008 • 8 posts Report Reply

  • giovanni tiso,

    Wow thank you Geoff.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7412 posts Report Reply

  • Whoops,

    here • Since Apr 2007 • 103 posts Report Reply

  • Mark Easterbrook,

    Put A Bucket On Your Head was a horrid crossbred of games show, talent show, and bad Telethon-esque 'entertainment' from memory.

    It was around the same time (I think) as our failed attempt at an NZ version of Hey Hey It's Saturday.

    I can still sing part of the theme, for some strange (and regrettable) reason...it went something like:

    "Put a bucket on your head!
    Put a bucket on your head!
    Put. A. Buck. Et. On. Your. Head.
    Put a bucket on your head!"

    I'm not kidding.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 245 posts Report Reply

  • Mark Easterbrook,

    Aha....seems the show was named after the song - Smart Artz "Put a bucket on your head"

    Previously for sale here...

    http://www.trademe.co.nz/Music-instruments/Vinyl/45-RPM/Other/auction-281960293.htm

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 245 posts Report Reply

  • philipmatthews,

    More about it here. No big surprise to see a link with Ponsonby DCs who had a slightly better novelty hit a bit earlier -- "G'day Mate" (there's probably a YouTube link but I'm not going to).

    I remember that show. Your worst light entertainment nightmare.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2007 • 646 posts Report Reply

  • George Darroch,

    It has shaken my conception of AI as a "good" organisation. For me, it raises some critical questions about whose rights are prioritised, and to what extent some rights may need to be traded. I guess it shows that AI is a utilitarian organisation rather than a Kantian one (i.e. balance of good over bad, rather than sticking to unbreakable principles), and your mileage may vary as to whether that's an issue for you.

    I'd argue quite the opposite, actually. Amnesty has always supported the rule of law, and the rights of individuals over public utility. In this case, they're arguing for the rights of people with quite odious views to fair and timely trials. Ultimately however, there is a conflict of rights (there always is), and one is going to take precedence over the other. Since its inception Amnesty has taken negative rights as primary.

    Their obsession with Guantanamo Bay really annoys me. It is indeed a human rights issue, but there are other things that are equally or more deserving of their time and attention - issues that are almost or completely unknown to the outside world and which they could be focusing our attention.

    The People's Republic of … • Since Nov 2006 • 2137 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown,

    Oh, speaking of crappy local reality shows, does anyone remember one from about 1998 that was an online attempt at a Real World type show?

    I might be wrong -- and Lord knows I seem to have been multiply wrong in the the original post -- but wasn't that actually Flatmates? My memory is that Ihug was involved and doing the streams.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 19116 posts Report Reply

  • George Darroch,

    It was around the same time (I think) as our failed attempt at an NZ version of Hey Hey It's Saturday.

    They've revived that show in Australia. Only it screens on Wednesdays.

    DayOfTheWeekFail.

    The People's Republic of … • Since Nov 2006 • 2137 posts Report Reply

  • Christopher Dempsey,

    It has shaken my conception of AI as a "good" organisation. For me, it raises some critical questions about whose rights are prioritised, and to what extent some rights may need to be traded. I guess it shows that AI is a utilitarian organisation rather than a Kantian one (i.e. balance of good over bad, rather than sticking to unbreakable principles), and your mileage may vary as to whether that's an issue for you.

    Once I found out that AI refused to support gays and lesbians imprisoned simply because they were gay or lesbian, I have never given them any time or money. I asked someone in AI once why that was, and I couldn't get a errr, straight, answer (no irony intended).

    Does anyone remember 'Going Straight' where people had to do a number of tasks that involved going in a straight line. That was pure genius whoever came up with that

    Or that program a few years ago where you had to do something terrifyingly challenging - which was set by your friends; some poor sod had to become female. Cue makeup classes, wardrobe decisions, dictation lessons and deportment lessons (yes, those are still available these days).

    The proof of the pudding was going to meet some blokes and 'passing'. Which he clearly didn't, but that didn't stop the blokes from being gentlemanly for the cameras. Poor sod next day had a breakdown.

    Someone really should make a list of all these wacky programs.

    And I really like Project Rungay. I'm amazed at what they come up with in 12 hours and only $US100. But the latest series features only one memorable person (Mr Crybaby - is he? isn't he going to cry on the catwalk at the end of the show? It is entertaining to watch).

    I'm looking forward to seeing Ru Paul's Drag Race screen at some point. That should be a hoot for one or two seasons.

    Parnell / Tamaki-Auckland… • Since Sep 2008 • 642 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown,

    I'd argue quite the opposite, actually. Amnesty has always supported the rule of law, and the rights of individuals over public utility. In this case, they're arguing for the rights of people with quite odious views to fair and timely trials.

    I quite agree -- although in the case of Cageprisoners, the issue wasn't so much the principles at stake, but some of the actual individuals involved.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 19116 posts Report Reply

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