Island Life by David Slack

Read Post

Island Life: There is no depression in the spa pool

124 Responses

First ←Older Page 1 2 3 4 5 Newer→ Last

  • Sacha,

    I'm unsure whether to feel encouraged or provoked..

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19745 posts Report Reply

  • Jackie Clark,

    It's fine Stephen - really. And sorry for name confusion. It's a weird thing, you know? I was just with my dogpack, and had an argument about why it's okay for women not to like their bodies. WTF?

    Mt Eden, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 3136 posts Report Reply

  • Kyle Matthews,

    I was just with my dogpack, and had an argument about why it's okay for women not to like their bodies.

    See, I argue with my dogs about why they shouldn't be barking, coming and going when they don't want to, and about not stealing food.

    Clearly your dogs are a lot smarter than mine.

    Since Nov 2006 • 6243 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha,

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19745 posts Report Reply

  • BenWilson,

    When I'm in the gym I'm trying not to eyeball anyone, corpulent or otherwise, in case it draws attention to the puny weights I'm lifting. Gone are the days when I go to the gym to impress random strangers, and suffer days of agony afterward. Finally, it's actually about health.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 10657 posts Report Reply

  • Jackie Clark,

    I was just with my dogpack, and had an argument about why it's okay for women not to like their bodies.

    See, I argue with my dogs about why they shouldn't be barking, coming and going when they don't want to, and about not stealing food.

    Clearly your dogs are a lot smarter than mine.

    Ahem. There is a pack of dogs and a pack of people, who are the owners of the dogs. You see?

    Mt Eden, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 3136 posts Report Reply

  • Stephen Judd,

    They're funny places, gyms. They can be most intimidating, as we subject ourselves to the gaze of whoever's around, or to our own standards. Or not, depending on the atmosphere set by the owners and the existing members. How you feel about being there is both a product of what your bring to it and the people you find there.

    Much like any social enterprise really, except that we are sold time in the commercial gym as an individual experience. Which is bullshit. You can expend mental effort to screen other people out and focus on your own workout, but fundamentally it's a shared space with all the potential angst that comes from being badly dressed and feeling exposed doing stupid things while other people watch.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 3122 posts Report Reply

  • Sofie Bribiesca,

    fundamentally it's a shared space with all the potential angst that comes from being badly dressed and feeling exposed doing stupid things while other people watch.

    ...You take one dog...
    seriously I am off to make mushroom fettuccine and thanks, I will laugh through the rest of my day.:)

    here and there. • Since Nov 2007 • 6796 posts Report Reply

  • Stephen Judd,

    Also, in response to the theme of the post: spa pools are like champagne. I have never been angry or sad drinking champagne; it is a universally cheering drink. Let's have some champagne!* Likewise, I have never felt down in a spa pool. Well-being, wholesome or unwholesome, is inherent in the bubbly water. Perhaps it's something to do with aeration.

    *I filched this idea from the beastly Kingsley Amis, but he was right.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 3122 posts Report Reply

  • BenWilson,

    except that we are sold time in the commercial gym as an individual experience. Which is bullshit.

    I don't think most gyms make any secret of the fact it's a social experience. But they surely glamorize what kind of experience it will be. The salesperson is usually (in most of my experience) a bubbly, friendly, hot chick who is really into you, wants to find out all about you, right up until you've signed across a thousand bucks worth of ongoing fees, after which you'll never see them again, and it's you and the machines, the mirrors, and the other patrons. Or the spa pool if that's your bag.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 10657 posts Report Reply

  • Joanna,

    1. When I used to belong to a busy all-female gym, I never paid attention to anyone while I was working out, unless they were on the cross-trainer right next to me and were going at a different speed, in which case I would be inclined to speed up to match them. There was, however, a woman I would see in the changing rooms frequently who I called Vagina Woman, because she would walk around in her shoes and top and NO PANTS and would talk to people a lot. I always thought that was strange. I mean, if you want to let yourself air, wouldn't you do it at home?

    2. Now I (in theory more than practice anyway) go to the small gym in my building,I notice guys working out there quit a bit - not because they are hot or not-hot (actually, they are all not-hot, because they're public servants after all), but because they are jerking their weights around all quickly, and I'm sure that's not healthy. Isn't slow and steady the better way to do it? I mean, I don't pretend to be any kind of healthy person or expert exerciser or anything, but it just looks so wrong and so dangerous.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 746 posts Report Reply

  • Craig Ranapia,

    Many years ago, in the changing rooms at the Freyberg Pool, I was astonished to look up and see a certain National Party MP scoping my junk with a lecherous grin.

    Oh, dear... The last time someone suggested I was laciviously scoping their junk in a changing room, I (rather unwisely) spat back, "Don't flatter yourself, I'm not wearing my glasses." (Unwise, because I was later informed about rumours the gentleman concerned owed his considerable bulk -- and various impulse control issues-- to the wonders of modern chemistry.) I guess it takes all sorts to make a world, but if there's anything less conducive to erotic reverie than the stench of chlorine and cold, wet concrete I don't want to know.

    North Shore, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 12370 posts Report Reply

  • BenWilson,

    , and I'm sure that's not healthy. Isn't slow and steady the better way to do it? I mean, I don't pretend to be any kind of healthy person or expert exerciser or anything, but it just looks so wrong and so dangerous.

    Generally, yes, it's wrong and dangerous. But there are specific training regimes that do it that way, which usually have other aims than health. They could be pure strength, for instance. Or specific sports exercises. Or amassing useless but still impressive muscle. All of those things appeal to guys. Having good posture, a balanced physique, good flexibility, strength in unusual and awkward ways, and a strong heart all achieved by lifting girly weights and dancing a lot, doesn't appeal so much.

    Personally, I'm with the chicks. I want to live longer and fuller, not harder and faster.

    if there's anything less conducive to erotic reverie than the stench of chlorine and cold, wet concrete I don't want to know.

    Funny, I'd have been thinking the bulky dude with his chop out was the buzz crusher. Chlorine and cold, wet concrete to me evokes images of women in swimsuits. I must think different to you, can't think how, though ;-0

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 10657 posts Report Reply

  • jon_knox,

    lol...amusing thread this one.

    News junkies, cricket fans & other sickos might enjoy this week's BBC News Quiz. Warning it's not as disturbing as this thread.

    Belgium • Since Nov 2006 • 464 posts Report Reply

  • Zippy Gonzales,

    Perhaps a sign saying "NO PO MO" then.

    That's just brilliant.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 186 posts Report Reply

  • Islander,

    HO! SO NO PO MO FO'
    (tiny wee letters - whatever reason/s)

    Big O, Mahitahi, Te Wahi … • Since Feb 2007 • 5643 posts Report Reply

  • linger,

    Re the News Quiz link: the relevant part starts at about the 21 minute mark, with comments about a railway station sign prohibiting farewell kisses. e.g. Fred MacAulay [paraphrased slightly]: "Kissing permitted only in designated areas. Back when I was courting my wife, she had that same rule. Similarly, I was allowed onto the platform, but not to actually board the train."

    Tokyo • Since Apr 2007 • 1944 posts Report Reply

  • Islander,

    Ho! So no PoMo fo' loco? Yo!

    (I'm also the one who collects loong words of non-repeating strings of letters in English - go beat 'ambidextrously' - please!)

    Big O, Mahitahi, Te Wahi … • Since Feb 2007 • 5643 posts Report Reply

  • linger,

    go beat 'ambidextrously' - please

    But not in a spa room or a railway station :-)

    Tokyo • Since Apr 2007 • 1944 posts Report Reply

  • Sam F,

    go beat 'ambidextrously' - please

    But not in a spa room or a railway station :-)

    Innocent (?) comment by prizewinning author leads into superb double entendre: it's another PAS Magic Moment.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 1611 posts Report Reply

  • Hilary Stace,

    David, I'm afraid you have destroyed Wallace Chapman's credibility as an interviewer/TV host. I can't watch Back Benches anymore without the spa pool image. On the other hand perhaps that could be a new TV opportunity for him - a talk show in the spa pool.

    Wgtn • Since Jun 2008 • 3229 posts Report Reply

  • David Slack,

    I do regret that, Hilary. Paradoxically, when I watch Back Benches, I find that habitual experience has made me fix my gaze upon his face.

    Devonport • Since Nov 2006 • 599 posts Report Reply

  • Craig Ranapia,

    Ho! So no PoMo fo' loco? Yo!

    I think Russell Davies' people would like to have a wee chat with your people to resolve clearance issues first. :)

    And since it's Friday -- a pop song where the lyrics were meant to be gibberish!

    __Gadji beri bimba clandridi
    Lauli lonni cadori gadjam
    A bim beri glassala glandride
    E glassala tuffm I zimbra__

    North Shore, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 12370 posts Report Reply

  • JackElder,

    I'm going to stand up here and say that I can't stand spa pools. Any excessively hot immersion, bubbles or not, I can last for about five minutes.

    I just smile genially at the other people in gyms. It seems to work; I quite often get asked to spot people. One good thing about being a cyclist is, you get used to sweating heavily while doing something ridiculous in public wearing unflattering clothing. I burned out most of my shame glands a long time ago. This comes in handy in a variety of social situations.

    Wellington • Since Mar 2008 • 709 posts Report Reply

  • Hilary Stace,

    Re that Wallace Chapman talk-show hosted in the spa pool idea - I'm sure it has potential. He could still interview politicians if he really wanted to and it could be called "Speaker's Corner" or "Naked Politicians talk about their lies". My brother in law has a spa pool company - Sundance Spas I think it's called - and I'm sure would be interested in sponsorship.

    Wgtn • Since Jun 2008 • 3229 posts Report Reply

First ←Older Page 1 2 3 4 5 Newer→ Last

Post your response…

Please sign in using your Public Address credentials…

Login

You may also create an account or retrieve your password.