So I'll settle for "you're back!"

The sole result was this blog.

I so wanted to believe it was real. I am sad now. And will lie down.

Approximately 70% of the stuff dished on the Heleban by Ian Wishart still remains non-mentioned by the MSM anyway. This is just a sickening disgrace. Not only were the MSM rolling over and going to sleep on their watch, under the Heleban, but they?

EXCELLENT COLUMN WOULD TRADE WITH AGAIN HAIL SATAN!!!!! :)

I don't like your bullshit DVDs for babies

I snorted aloud, like an elegant lady pig.

Think supporters of so-called Eianstein should actually take a look closer to home and ask a few questions especially in this time of global crisis! Partner and I are struggling to pay our mortgage and would welcome some of that science funding cash to help?

Also this?

EXCELLENT COLUMN WOULD TRADE WITH AGAIN HAIL SATAN!!!!! :)

So going on a T-shirt.

I snorted aloud, like an elegant lady pig

And somewhat recursively, I snorted when reading of yours, Robyn. Not at all elegantly, mind.

EXCELLENT COLUMN WOULD TRADE WITH AGAIN HAIL SATAN!!!!! :)

So going on a T-shirt.

I'd buy one!!!

Nerds like Einstein are a threat to our way of life!

EXCELLENT COLUMN WOULD TRADE WITH AGAIN HAIL SATAN!!!!! :)
So going on a T-shirt.
I'd buy one!!!

PAS laugh of the year, and it's barely February.

einstein was a jewish SPY for the comunists his so-called theory is a masnoic effort to discredit newtown NEWTON who was a true CHRISTAIN NEWTON before he died had proved that ARYANS are the descendants of jesus fuck the police.

All true belivers know that Newton and his so-called __THEORY__?

In the end I had to vote "no" just to make myself feel better. Where are the results?

justify their exorbitant salaries

paid a big fat salary with all the perks

Cool I am so gonna get me one of dem pHds so I can pay for new mags.

Otherwise, we'd be able to take any old unwanted stuff..... like a dead fly, a dog turd, or some rotten framing from a leaky home, and turn it into electricity and stuff.

Energy crisis? What energy crisis? According?

DefenderOfThePeeple, Titirangi
I realise that all you fascist Nactionals just want to sell gravity-based property rates to all your rich wanker developer mates by keeping the masses ignorant of Einstein's brilliance but it won't work! When will the?

Cut all science funding immediately

Too late

sheeple perform tricks with their genitalia

Isn't there a stage show?

So going on a T-shirt.

Yeah enough with the books, where are the PAS T-Shirts?

And Muscle Shirts!

Yeah enough with the books, where are the PAS T-Shirts?

And mugs. We need mugs. Emma's output alone over the last couple of months would have been worth a few of those.

It pains me to see commercial opportunities going begging.

And mugs. We need mugs.

If I have a Chemical Brothers mug in my pantry (and I do, from a show I saw in the 1990s! It was so incongruous I had to buy it), we should be able to have PA mugs, dammit. Someone make it happen!

(I'm hanging?

Einstein? Sounds Asian to me.

Also, can we have an "inject meme into wider public consciousness" button? Actually, wearing the shirts would do that.

Einstein was clearly gay

Yeah, it's knowledge, bro.

Cafepress.com?

Shipping. Kitsch-on-demand closer to home? Not that Cafe Press doesn't work nicely.

Yeah enough with the books, where are the PAS T-Shirts?

And mugs. We need mugs. Emma's output alone over the last couple of months would have been worth a few of those.

Note to self: forget novel,?

Mrs Ursula Hitler, Tauranga

::sigh::
I can't even defend my home town on these. It's actually what the place is like.

Einstein? Sounds Asian to me.

roffle

I find Twitter short stories much easier to finish.

But I agree. Closer to home would be better, if there is one.

Einstein? Sounds Asian to me.

I try to work the following joke (by Bruce Lowitt, but I heard it from Moni Ovadia first) into all social situations. I'd been waiting for a PAS opening for months.

A Chinese man and his Jewish friend are walking along one day when the?

Actually, wearing the shirts would do that.

Send one for PaulHenry to wear.

BTW, can someone send me a large bag of whatever it is that sustains David's imagination?

roffle

I believe you were looking for rofflenstein there.

Apropos "it's knowledge bro" t-shirts: I'd want a posterised Lincoln illustration along with the slogan.

Proof that I am a nerdlinger: I just created an Obamicon with a picture of Lincoln and 'it's knowledge bro' on it.

Results? The whole purpose is to harvest snippets of illiterate outrage that we can recycle as a substitute for news stories..

Along those lines, someone has actually created a BBC Have Your Say Generator which poses a great threat to the self-appointed ranters and ravers. I mean, if someone?

Cut all science funding immediately

CANADA CUTS RESEARCH FUNDING

The Canadian Institutes of Health Research, Natural Sciences and Engineering Research Council, and Social Sciences and Humanities Research Council will see their budgets collectively reduced by an aggregate $113 million over the next 3 years.

However, the federal government proposes to?

Who is this 'knowledge bro' character?

The one in bro'Town with the eyeglasses?

this 'knowledge bro' character

Now you've got me picturing a cape of some sort.. maybe accompanied by nerdy specs..

(Don't worry, 3410. My Obamicon contained a comma.)

Maybe that Brotown character is based on someone behind the scenes.

KnowledgeBro! Just like I pictured him!
Where's my t-shirt?

Don't worry, 3410. My Obamicon contained a comma.

Phew! I was beginning to think I was the last sane man in a crazy world.

"I made it up".
Einstein, A. What's?

Why should I change to bulbs that look different and are uncomfortable to insert?

This is an image I don't want to even think about! Great stuff, David.

wrote this in your dressing gown you pervert

Should he have been wearing someone else's dressing gown?

The Canadian Institutes of Health Research, Natural Sciences and Engineering Research Council, and Social Sciences and Humanities Research Council will see their budgets collectively reduced by an aggregate $113 million over the next 3 years.

However, the federal government proposes to spend $71.2 million over 3 years for 500 new?

The C squared is just a big number to impress people,

I'm fairly confident the "C squared" refers to one of these "[" from before they had them on keyboards.

That makes sense, no?

I'm fairly confident the "C squared" refers to one of these "[" from before they had them on keyboards.

That makes sense, no?

No.

So lets see if I have this right. They are going to cut funding for the research jobs and hence reduce the number of jobs available...

And they are going to train more people for those jobs...

Um – confused

Heh, not necessarily. The net effect on graduate enrolment might?

David, YOU are the genius.
Benjamin

I always thought Einstein that what you did when ordering one beer......maybe he did end up bitter, pale, and twist-topped.

Everyone knows that mc^2 is way better than E. This is political correctness gone mad.

I've never tried mc^2, but if it's better than E then I'm definitely up for it.

Could you mail me some if I sent you the money? Customs are totally slack here.

Deepthinker (Papatoetoe)

I for one applaud the original?

That Einstein is a smartass!!!! he uses all that tricky maths to make me look like a dick. What kind of idiot uses letters to do adding up with???

What kind of idiot uses letters to do adding up with???

I presume he's Roman. ANd I've just twigged, all along I've been reading this as about Brian Epstein. Man, he was clever.

Energy to burn as they say.

It is a widely known fact that E=mc^2 was the planned third part of a series of films on energy beginning with the Battleship Potemkin and October ! The film was never made because Einstein defected to California and American Studios wanted different explosions.

I feel as though we're missing a key Your Views sub-genre: the ones who blame any given problem on solo mothers.

Gareth, you little beauty! Ask, and I did receive. :)

I had that half-written but your solo mum tip just rounded it out.
Damn mums. Never did nothing for nobody.

Mind you, a couple of them ( Robyn Gallagher and Stephen Judd spring to mind) could almost be described as frighteningly good.

**Andrew Llewellyn**?

He used to live up by the Wellington Zoo, right?

I had just thrown up some chocolate soy icecream. Gazing at the result, I was immediately reminded of the Herald's 'Your Views' pages.

Rofflenui. That one huuurt.

This is an image I don't want to even think about!

Too bloody late – and I didn't get it the first time.

I'm sorry but as an former crew man myself, Christian Bale was totally over-reacting and was clearly behaving the pre-madonna.

That was a genius piece of spelling?

That was a genius piece of spelling right there.

I bet they are trying to get by with the Mac OS 10.4 dictionary, alone. Y'know it doesn't even know how to spell iphone.

"The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax."

In this case, I had just thrown up some chocolate soy icecream.

Jeez... what did you expect?

I am shocked and disappointed at some of the intolerant and disrespectful comments in this thread.

Just because Einstein's brain worked a bit differently, it is no excuse for the rest of us to join the oppression of the disabling society. He may have had autism or dyspraxia?

So yet again we hear the bleating from the likes of "Sanctimonious" in Wellington. Didn't you hear that the Sisterhood lost? Or are you worried about losing your cushy government job? And don't give me that line about "dyspraxia". It's BAD PARENTING. If we got the political?

you mark my words

Righto!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjYCQqGPADQ

Einstein is wrong. The bigger people get, the less energy they have.

I cannot adequately express my sadness at the passing of Mr Einstein, and my fear at the adverse effect this will have on the Fab Four, relatively speaking. A calamity of epic proportions, I cannot imagine a worse scenario, unless John should take up with a hippie Chinese?

I explode like a bomb
No one is spared
My power is my mass times the speed of light squared

Knowledge: it's power, bro.

Einstein is my friend. Muahahaha!

I've never heard of this Einstein person, but I don't think we should be arguing about him like this. It's all getting a bit heated, can't we just agree to disagree? Everyone is entitled to their point of view (that's what makes life so interesting!!). But it's?

Mr Einstein is talking through a hole in his proverbial if he thinks the two laning of Centennial Highway is 1. a workable solution supported by ratepayers, and 2. Affordable.

Mr Einstein needs to wake up, smell the coffee, get off his chuff & commence the implementation of Transmission?

I said it was time for you to Agree to Disagree, you ASSHOLES!!!

Moderators, close this discussion NOW!!

Ee, that lad Bert, he were a character. We remember him well, we do. He lived just down t?road and there weren?t a day go by when you didn?t see him trudgin? off to work carrying one of them hypotheses. Aargh, ?e were different, we knew that,?

I dont know what your all talking about but your just jelous Mariah rulz its her best one by far.

It is quite clear to me that the confused, wrongheaded and downright distastful opinions being aired in this discussion are an inevitable result of allowing numbers and letters to freely mingle and reproduce with one another.

Don't get me wrong, I've got nothing against alphabeti's in their place.?

Your response did not display a very inclusive attitude. But I hear your concern about gender. You may appreciate knowing that conditions like autism and dyspraxia affect more boys than girls. But evidence-based research has shown that physical punishment is not a very effective intervention.

Bring back the chalk and blackboards of Einstein's time, I say. Maybe writing with big white letters on a vertical black background would?

Oh, yes, those sort of numbers are always complaining that they're 'complex' and 'easily misunderstood'. It doesn't excuse their behaviour!!!!

A good clip around the ear never did me any harm, and it soon taught me to repress all of my emotional problems and unnatural feelings. What they?

The discussion of Einstein's "theory" should really be left to those better qualified to give an opinion, like John Key.

Typical lefty feminist media. Ian Wishart broke this story about Einsteins nanny state PC gone mad equation months before the election and did it get picked up no! at least the herald could of given an attrabution to him but did they do that of course not. NZ?

To E Schrodinger: why don't you stop blaming other people for things that happen in your life and stop waiting for the govt to do things for you or give you handouts. Now that Klark is gone its' time for NZers to take PERSONAL RESPONSABILITY. Open the?

There's no serious evidence to support this wild proposition. These tiresome claims that the scientific opinion is overwhelming should be seen for what they are – an attempt to divert our attention away from the majestic power of our Lord Jesus Christ.

I wouldn't be too quick to let that cat out of the box if I were you. Some biology boffin (another one of these Einstein types) at Auckland University* says cats have their own brand of HIV – Feline Immunodeficiency virus (FIV) – one in five?

While there seems to be no way to make the Herald's Your Views page go away entirely, you can at least cover it with unicorns and sparkly rainbows!

Now if I can just find a way to do the same to 3 News...

i wuz told that light had wave and particle properties owning two properties is GREEDY especially when there are some of us who have been saving for AGES and stil cant afford anywere DECENT!!!!11!!!1!

owning two properties is GREEDY

Rofflenui!

I also wonder if this could get meta, if someone brought it to the Herald's attention? 'David Haywood's Parody of Your Views – Your Views'.

** Resentful (Dannevirke) **?

You may appreciate knowing that conditions like autism and dyspraxia affect more boys than girls. But evidence-based research has shown that physical punishment is not a very effective intervention.

LifeMeansLife!!!! (Tamaki)

Typical bloody lefty. What good is "evidence-based research"? What we need is proper good parenting. I got the bash?

I can't get over how much this thread rocks.

Totally agree. Neighbours probably think I'm disturbed, what with all the rolling on t' floor. Fecking hilarious. Bravo all.

Danielle, I don't think granny does meta, but Sideswipe might be the go..

Some people obviously cling to relativity as an article of faith. I learned from my many years in journalism to apply a modicum of skepticism to such claims. It amuses me to see how upset some, even scientists, become when you challenge their dogma of relativity. Why, just?

Then my neigbours put up this bloody ivory tower?

Otherwise no one will be left in our third world bantustan except whining bludgers?

Why, just the other day I was on the train platform, welcoming my daughter.

WomenReallyGetOnMyTits (Dairy Flat)

What a dipstick morobar. like to see you try that with a real man. When we meet face to face we see who likes relativity. Do'nt think your so smart mr pixie caramel.?

Ed Balls (schools secretary)
Claims that schools had been forced to close because of health and safety laws are nonsense. They were closed because?

The thought police are at it again. Did we learn nothing from "The Sky is Falling" doomsayers of the past?

Mini ice ages, Y2K, Global warming/ckimate change & now E=mc^2? Well fool me once, shame on you, fool me 4 times shame on... just SHAME! Is all I'm saying.

how do we kno that einstien is not part of the machine... e is 4 eiinstein... m is 4 machine... c is for cia...not sure what 2 is for...

Look as a Minister I can't recommend breaking a law, but I believe E should. It's just not possible for E to comply with M and C. Some people might frown at me saying this, but M and C have been running roughshod over E for too long.?

Why do I always despair at the lack of scientific knowledge in our society. Science is not about proving black is white. Einstein's theory of relativity has been peer reviewed over the last few years by a vast body of his peers.

When will we get our?

freedom4justic (Waihopai)

how do we kno that einstien is not part of the machine... e is 4 eiinstein... m is 4 machine... c is for cia...not sure what 2 is for...

Listen up commie spiv, 2 is for how many times we get medieval on your leftie ass?

NoFatChicks (Henderson)

I actually saw that sign outside a bar of dubious repute in South Carolina. I think it may have had "or ugly" in there as well.

his not skinny wife got less & less genial as the evening wore on...

Yeah, fat chicks do that.
;-)
Runs away and hides under the reply button.

(excerpted from Their Views

Just last night, I read a Guardian piece about Carol Thatcher calling 'an unspecified tennis player' a golliwog. By the time I got to the comments thread, about one comment in three had been deleted by the moderator.

The Guardian! Honestly, if we can't count on?

We're only being told half the story here. These "calculations" are merely speculation – done by Einstein using computer modelling and are now being used by the Look at the Swiss and French and Germans, suckered into spending billions into "Large Hadron" research.

A Wild Goose chase, while the?

OK folks, you've warmed up on some easy targets try and extract the urine from comments that parody themselves in one hermetically sealed package.

Can you maybe pick a thread I'm not in next time you pour scorn? :)

Like this beauty, which I nearly commented in & then decided wasn't?

Quite amusing how much time the left wing sites spend writing patronizingly about Kiwiblog.

Love how this is at the start of a thread consisting pretty much of patronising bile & rant against The Standard & Public Address. I hesitate to lower myself to generalising about the "Left" and "Right", but one?

The Guardian! Honestly, if we can't count on the last bastion of uptight leftism to be responsibly emotionally retarded, what's the world coming to?

It is strange. Their comments thread seems to have been hijacked by sock puppets for a long time. Just isn't worth the bother.

Einstein is an example of what is wrong with our education system today. He didn't need any fancy overhead projectors or computers to derive his equation. Pen and paper were good enough for him I say it's good enough for our schools. We?

Pen and paper were good enough for him

I bet the cheating B-stard used a sliderule.

What a load of tripe! I can't believe this bollix gets published, let alone funded!!! Einstein's a hippocrite, he has one law for individual particles and a whole different law for everyone else!!

OK folks, you've warmed up on some easy targets try and extract the urine from comments that parody themselves in one hermetically sealed package.

Meh.

OutragedJim (Manukau)

I've just come back and in OZ and the US they have much lower use of relativity. I used to have faith in?

Just last night, I read a Guardian piece about Carol Thatcher calling 'an unspecified tennis player' a golliwog. By the time I got to the comments thread, about one comment in three had been deleted by the moderator.

So, she's not even disciplined but sacked for allegedly making an off-colour?

There is a rational middle ground, isn't there?

Apparently not, as this thread has so aptly made light of!

There is a rational middle ground, isn't there?

In an ideal world, there would be. Unfortunately, some burning issues, like Laura Norder, have deteriorated into a U-shaped curve where neutrality or shades of grey are drowned out.

There is a rational middle ground, isn't there?
Apparently not, as this thread has so aptly made light of!

Umm . Just while can, could I just say Tony RIP. I know those that read about him recently hold a rather dim view but for those of us that had?

Umm . Just while can, could I just say Tony RIP.

Indeed, and what a tragic indictment on our civilization. As for that Kiwiblog thread, eeew.

DPF: What makes you think he was mentally ill? I think he was very sane and manipulative. Are you a qualified psychiatrist who examined him?

What, and you are one yourself? You're not setting even an?

I'll leave the analysis of that most famous of equations to the boffins, but who hasn't been impressed by John Key's handling of the Einstein crisis? Apart from an alarming inability to negotiate stairs, Key has not put a foot wrong.

Unencumbered by worn out ideologies,?

I just love the way this equation f**ks over mass in a relative way – it deserves it.

81st goes to wash hands........

...an average standard of reasoning or morality...

The point, I suspect, has nothing to do with reasoning or morality, and everything to do with tossing the baying mob a very juicy cut of meat indeed.

Like this beauty, which I nearly commented in & then decided wasn't worth it.

Ugh. A pointless, confused post on The Standard begets an adolescent-grade rejoinder from DPF (who is, metaphorically speaking, writing in short pants much of the time lately) which in turn produces ... that thread.

Isn't there a?

BillRalston69 (No Fixed Abode)

Oooh, WH, that was ... spooky.

Isn't there a better use for electrons than that?

Um – analysing the root cause(s) of Christian Bale's mega-hissy?

Um – analysing the root cause(s) of Christian Bale's mega-hissy?

Well, it's slightly less nauseating than displaying your (alleged) respect for the rule of law and human life by getting a lynch mob together to go piss on Antonie Dixon's grave. (And apparently anyone who'd represent the man deserved to?

Teach the controversy. This theory has only been around for 100 years or so, and in that time has been criticised by many prominent academics and scholars, such as Sir Cecil Rhodes. It does not, for example, teach us why apples fall from trees, or why?

or why the sun rotates the earth – this is observable...

Actually, it is the sun that moves around the earth. I have see...n it in the sky.

So this really is more than the limit. This
other MC Squared character will one day show us the relative sincerity of a smile!!

We have done exactly that. To be fair we usually don't believe much until we've done it three or more times though. But definitely looked at the first expt and gone WTF!

ETA:?

I cannot possibly be the only VUW Chem alum having a compulsive flashback to the monologue that begins "When I Was At Oxford We Were Issued A Silk Handkerchief On The First Day...", can I?