Southerly by David Haywood

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Southerly: Our Saddest and Most Tragic Christmas Ever

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  • dc_red,

    Am I right in thinking that's BtB on the cover? He's yet to witness a stabbing, one hopes!?

    Oil Patch, Alberta • Since Nov 2006 • 706 posts Report Reply

  • Hadyn Green,

    He's yet to witness a stabbing, one hopes!?

    Witness? Perhaps it's.... commit! (crash of thunder, lights flicker, ba ba baaaaaaaaa!)

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2081 posts Report Reply

  • giovanni tiso,

    Witness? Perhaps it's.... commit!

    David Haywood does Richard Matheson? Sign me up for five copies.

    That said, I demand to know how the first impression got sold out before you even told _us_. Is there another blogging community you see on those mysterious "late nights" at work, David?

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7358 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown,

    The book is the very first release from Public Address Books (www.publicaddressbooks.com) -- another division of Russell 'Rupert Murdoch' Brown's ever-expanding multimedia empire.

    Don't believe, it folks. This is David's baby (literally, in the case of the cover).

    Among other things, he wrote the software to migrate our PA blogs to Latex for print-on-demand, created a house style for the books and set up the payments system,. He'd send me emails detailing his progress and I'd go "yup", "cool" and "wow!".

    And, of course, he wrote the actual prose.

    One key feature of the way David has set up the Public Address Books system is that the authors do the fulfillment (this is a fancy publishing industry word for "mailing out books") and keep all the money after Paypal and printing costs. It's a nice personal way of doing things, and we might look at doing that for our respective "proper" books too.

    The ease of migration from blog to book thanks to David's cleverness opens up some interesting opportunities for us in future. I personally am looking forward to the first in Damian Christie's series of pirate novels, Pirates Vol 1: A Danger to Shipping.

    So please join me in congratulating David Haywood, and buy his book in your droves.

    Unless, of course, there is some fatal flaw in his plan that means everything will go horribly wrong. In which case, he's on his own.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 18839 posts Report Reply

  • Idiot Savant,

    the book has been designed with soft puppy-like pages -- making it ideal for reading in the lavatory

    If we accept that link, wouldn't an actual puppy be better?

    Palmerston North • Since Nov 2006 • 1640 posts Report Reply

  • Che Tibby,

    hmmmm.... i'm faintly suspicious that this idea might be a little too environmentally friendly...

    self-printing!? where are all the remaindered books going to be!!

    the back of an envelope • Since Nov 2006 • 2026 posts Report Reply

  • Craig Ranapia,

    Pop over and check out the site. And consider buying a copy of 'My First Stabbing' for yourself and everyone you know (and all their relatives). The Haywood family could be eating sand for Christmas dinner otherwise.

    You're really not hitting the Scrooge demographic with that pitch. Now, that cover -- the combo of kiddie exploitation and that title should be worth a Christmas CYPFS intervention with various families I don't like at all... Do you do a discount for bulk orders?

    North Shore, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 11933 posts Report Reply

  • Paul Brislen,

    Rupert Brown...

    For some reason I'm picturing Russell wearing checked trousers and a red shirt surrounded by friends called Bill the Badger and the like.

    And I can't make it stop!

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 174 posts Report Reply

  • Jen Hay,

    Just a note to say that we're all sick with genuine German germs here in Berlin (Yes - the Haywood household is in the Northern Hemisphere for now, hence the projections for an icy Christmas...)

    I have sent an ailing David off to bed, so he asked me to post apologies for his absence - he won't be replying on this thread until he's awake and hopefully recuperated.

    And now I'm off to collapse in bed, too!

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 41 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown,

    And I can't make it stop!

    Should I come round and stop it for you?

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 18839 posts Report Reply

  • Glenn Pearce,

    Among other things, he wrote the software to migrate our PA blogs to Latex for print-on-demand, created a house style for the books and set up the payments system,. He'd send me emails detailing his progress and I'd go "yup", "cool" and "wow!".

    I knew all that time spent on the Commodore 64 on the Jervad Idol would come in useful eventually David.

    Good luck with the book.

    You know the best thing about Berlin, 2 of everything. 2 Zoos, 2 Town Halls, 2 Operas. A system architect's wet dream, built in redundancy.

    Auckland • Since Feb 2007 • 345 posts Report Reply

  • Jolisa,

    No wonder David is crap at making a living from journalism; he's fighting his natural tendency towards a kick-arse career in marketing. "Buy the book or Tiny Bob gets it."

    Works for me.

    (Haydn: ROFL! Especially having met the mini murderer myself. I thought he had a twinkle in his eye but you're right, it could have been an evil glint...)

    Auckland, NZ • Since Nov 2006 • 1411 posts Report Reply

  • Megan Wegan,

    Pop over and check out the site. And consider buying a copy of 'My First Stabbing' for yourself and everyone you know (and all their relatives). The Haywood family could be eating sand for Christmas dinner otherwise.

    Whatever. When I was a baby, I had to walk in the snow, up hill both ways, with no shoes, just to get my Christmas dirt. And I had to pick the pebbles out myself.

    But seriously, to quote Russell, "yup", "cool" and "wow!".

    Welly • Since Jul 2008 • 1273 posts Report Reply

  • Don Christie,

    Unless, of course, there is some fatal flaw in his plan that means everything will go horribly wrong.

    Not something you would rule out in David's case. But, hey, at least we'll get a funny blog post out of that...

    Are you holding the Alan Bollard posts back for a special edition or am I misreading the TOC?

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1615 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    I have sent an ailing David off to bed, so he asked me to post apologies for his absence

    Oh, poor soul. Seems to have sharpened his emotional blackmail powers, but.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4364 posts Report Reply

  • Paul Litterick,

    To quote Megan Wegan quoting Russell, "yup", "cool" and "wow!".

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 1000 posts Report Reply

  • Geoff Lealand,

    "Even Hamilton"? You almost lost a customer there, David--unless you mean Hamilton, Ontario.

    Screen & Media Studies, U… • Since Oct 2007 • 2308 posts Report Reply

  • Art and my life,

    I am a fan of your writing (as seen here) David so woohoo!!!

    I am also about to return to the deep(ish) south so keep reminding me about the cold. I wonder if my accent will come back?

    Since May 2008 • 10 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha,

    Rupert Brown

    Genius! You're wasted in PR, Mr Brislen.

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 16622 posts Report Reply

  • Robyn Gallagher,

    A book full of splendid writing! It's about time. Well done, Mr Hayward!

    I was reading the preview selection, when I came to the description of Boston's finest: "If you have ever paid to see a fat person at a circus, then you will be kicking yourself-". It suddenly ended, leaving me on edge, with visions of fat ladies, po-po mans and cars parked in Harvard Yard all trying to finish the sentence.

    Obviously the only way to find an answer is to buy the book, so I've placed an order.

    By the way, if you want to make Christmas special for Bob, in mid-December just arrange for your "uncle" to make it look like your house was broken into, then tell your local freebie community paper that all your Christmas presents were stolen and your Christmas will be ruined unless local businesses like the Warehouse and the $2 Shop don't give you heaps of replacement tat. Then it will be proper Christmas after all!

    Raglan • Since Nov 2006 • 1857 posts Report Reply

  • giovanni tiso,

    By the way, if you want to make Christmas special for Bob, in mid-December just arrange for your "uncle" to make it look like your house was broken into, then tell your local freebie community paper that all your Christmas presents were stolen and your Christmas will be ruined unless local businesses like the Warehouse and the $2 Shop don't give you heaps of replacement tat. Then it will be proper Christmas after all!

    If the Simpsons have taught us nothing else, is that those scams tend to backfire.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7358 posts Report Reply

  • Kyle Matthews,

    If the Simpsons have taught us nothing else, is that those scams tend to backfire.

    Actually, I've seen that in the paper several times, so clearly it works for someone.

    The first person that gets caught and outed as doing it as a scam. Man, everyone is going to hate them.

    Since Nov 2006 • 6165 posts Report Reply

  • Sam F,

    A blast of it's-too-new-to-be-nostalgia: did anyone ever find out what the deal was with that family that supposedly got scammed out of RWC tickets?

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 1557 posts Report Reply

  • Robyn Gallagher,

    Actually, I've seen that in the paper several times, so clearly it works for someone.

    It seems to happen every year! I'm sure that there are people who genuinely are robbed in the lead-up to Christmas, and I can imagine how tempting a stack of presents must be to would-be crims, but I wonder how many robberies of presents are genuine.

    Though, if you're a little kid whose parents would stoop to faking a burgarly, maybe you do deserved a nice Christmas.

    Raglan • Since Nov 2006 • 1857 posts Report Reply

  • giovanni tiso,

    It seems to happen every year!

    I think they just reprint the story, it's like with the reruns of It's a Wonderful Life.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7358 posts Report Reply

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