Tell me it's not true.

So cute.

But that was rather heart wrenching. I still have crystal clear memories of the intensity of my friendship and conversations with a boy called Ezra who moved towns when I was at primary school.

Tell me it's not true.

I'm afraid it is.

I should mention, however, that this is a severely trimmed version of my original draft (to the tune of about 3,000 words). The longer version mentioned some nice things about the school. I had a very good teacher?

That was a nice gift David, thanks, and a good reminder that we all have poignant stories that inform our current stories.

I didn't know it then, but by Standard 4, the happiest of my school-days were behind me. From this point onward, things would begin to seriously deteriorate.

And yet you stayed in school all the way – right up to a PhD! If you ever work out why,?

And yet you stayed in school all the way – right up to a PhD! If you ever work out why, let me know...

Ha! I left school at sixteen. I would draw a significant distinction between school and university in NZ. I loathed school, but?

I once had a teacher privately tell me that even if I didn't do something I had been accused of, he would find 20 people to say I had. The same guy told me that my entire family was going to hell for not believing in?

Wow. All I can say is: fucking hell, Steve, what a nightmare. I always think the best thing about school is that fact that it's in the past. No-one will ever send us back, thank God.

Dinah Dunavan wrote:

I wonder if they taught unrestrained?

He also assures me this basically encouraged them to misbehave, as they would still get it?

I'm always amazed when I hear people declare that the education system went to pot when teachers were no longer allowed to knock kids around (1986, I think, the year after I left school).

1990.

On other matters, I did know some (not many) idiot teachers, and certainly some I?

Relatively recently I was shunned by a local gym owner because?

later in the day everyone got to eat fish and chips... FOR LUNCH!

i thought i was in heaven.

the hard-out bullying didn't start till i was about 11 or 12.

and @ steve. i say?

I used to think that too, I'd put it behind me long in the past ... until recently I was faced with the possibility of my son going to the high?

I believe that even in primary schools there are some very difficult situations which would try the patience of a saint..

Some American teachers can now deal with this by packing heat.

I wonder if they are allowed to just blaze away at recalcitrant kids, or if they convene a?

1990

Are you sure? I remember being yelled in in 4th form (1986) by my French teacher who assured me that if was still able to cane me he'd have flayed my hide over some piece of minor impertinence.

(For the curious, being too lazy to come up with 7?

1990

Are you sure? I remember being yelled in in 4th form (1986) by my French teacher who assured me that if was still able to cane me he'd have flayed my hide over some piece of minor impertinence.

Yes.

A number of schools had themselves abandoned corporal punishment before?

Then I had Mr Ward in Std 2. I don't think he quite scaled the heights of evilness David describes?

Do schools still have incinerators? Or?

My favorite parts of?

Even quite small kids have a taste for the macabre. My best friend until I was about 7 (when his?

A number of schools had themselves abandoned corporal punishment before then, perhaps yours was one?

John Key's alma mater, Burnside High, had abolished corporal punishment by the time I got there in (gulp) 1976.

The deputy principal later told me it had sharply cut the level of other violence at?

In my primary school years (mid 60s) each room had a coal stove for heating

Yeah, we had rooms with pot-belly stoves. I got put in an advanced maths class in Form 2, which basically amounted to a lot of opportunities to get the poker white hot while the teacher?

I can imagine him doing something like the young chap who told David he was going to report him to the Police for stealing a pie...

I'll have you know, Mr Hosking, that it was throwing a pie at a policeman (there was never any suggestion that?

The next year I was taught by Miss Miniskirts-long-legs who stood at the door after bell and whacked each child with a ruler as they came through the door late.

Too many readings of The Story About Ping, perhaps. This is why it is so critical that school?

Too many readings of The Story About Ping, perhaps

Thanks, the first review was hilarious!

It begins:

Using deft allegory, the authors have provided an insightful and intuitive explanation of one of Unix's most venerable networking utilities. Even more stunning is that they were clearly working with a very early beta?

I felt vaguely moved to join in the moaning about primary school. I registered, but don't know quite how to post my little effort. Perhaps by your magic you can do it for me. Here it is:

Reading over some of your memories of miserable times at school,?

telephones

See, you and I are going to have to strongly disagree on that one. It's a well known fact that before uttering the phrase "Watson, come here, you handsome thing you," Bell telephoned Antonio Meucci, who had owned a teletrofono for quite some time.

golf

Now I know whom?

I felt vaguely moved to join in the moaning about primary school. I registered, but don't know quite how to post my little effort. Perhaps by your magic you can do it for me.

You seem to have done quite well by yourself!

Yes, the Scots __do__?

Even before my induction at the Scuola Elementare Pietro Micca, which looks like a military compound and is named after a suicide bomber (don't believe me? check out the adorable mascotte, a barrell of TNT with tiny legs and arms),?

giovanni, well, the Italians can claim those biscuits with flies in them.

I'd rather claim the Renaissance (oh yes, I was there) but I guess we'll take what we can get these days.

Regarding the Scots and their inventiveness...It all comes down to a long tradition of equal access to?

Back to the subject, there are some real heart breaking stories here, again thank god or someone that school is not the best days of our lives
I went to a country school in the early?

The next year I was taught by Miss Miniskirts-long-legs...

Has anyone had the experience, years later, of looking at their old school class photos and thinking, Actually, that woman who taught me in new entrants was a bit of all right?

This is a hypothetical question.

Because it could, you?

Pity they couldn't invent an alternative to frying all their food.

Ah, deep fried pizza! My enduring memory of Edinburgh.

Ah, deep fried pizza! My enduring memory of Edinburgh.

That's nothing. A restaurant in Cowgate served me what I swear could only be described as fried soup.

Don't get me wrong, though, I hold Edinburgh dearly in my heart and surrounding circulatory system.

At the end of term that bastard teacher took the magnifying glass from his drawer, placed it on his desk, took out a hammer and asked the rest of the class "shall I give this back to Barnes or should I smash it?"

the adorable mascotte, a barrell of TNT?

Mrs Pinochet in 1st year used to tie recalcitrant kids to the ceiling fan and put it on spin. After she did this to Fatty Boothroyd and the ceiling fell down, they punished us kids by setting fire to the rubble of the classroom with us still in?

Bah looxury!

Well, I guess that was inevitable... :)

I always hope that everything I teach my little ones – you know the sort of thing, subversion in every form, high spiritedness – pisses off all the grumpy primary teachers majorly. Crowd control 101 still seems to be popular in teacher training institutions these days.

Jackie, I was wondering?

Still, all these horror stories fit in very neatly with my strongly held belief that one learns very little of any value at primary school.

My son for one is having a marvellous time of it. Ditto for kindy, I couldn't have more respect for the teachers he's had.

fresh wee open brains

Jackie, I was wondering if this is a?

My mother and self were dared to try a fried Mars Bar whilst in Dunedin of the North.... We looked at each other, silently rewrapped it, and interred it in the rubbish bin.

You missed out! I've had them a couple of times at the Drake and they are much,?

One year my class was in the school hall.The school buses were packed to the hilt too, and seemed to break down regularly. Fortunately we were still allowed to play Bulrush (the no holds barred version) while we waited for one to come back empty.

It's pretty damn obvious what?

David said: "I always think the best thing about school is that fact that it's in the past" ....

I used to think that too, I'd put it behind me long in the past ... until recently I was faced with the possibility of my son going to the high?

fresh wee open brains

My brain put a comma in the middle of that sentence, yuk.

Giovanni, well, the Italians can claim those biscuits with flies in them.

I recall, from when I were about knee high to a grasshopper, a question to the class in a history lesson.
"who?

"Ah, well" I retorted "I knew he had something to do with currant affairs"
Chortles all round.

And the memories come back – this reminds me of the funniest thing I ever said (as a student?).

"Blind People?"

Hilarious. One guy in the class, like 20 minutes after I said?

"You know ... what are they called ... those funny?

Jus' sayin'

She was all of about nine, resplendent in her marching girl outfit for the fancy dress ball – the highlight of our primary school year. We waltzed and gay-gordoned and hoki-tokied the night away, feasted on fizzy and cake , before the?