Southerly by David Haywood

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Southerly: The Joys of Unclehood

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  • Sacha,

    I loved that ad! Like Islander, made no impact on my consumption of the product. :)

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19745 posts Report Reply

  • Amy Gale,

    You all sound like a thoroughly lovely bunch of aunts and uncles, I must say. What nice readers we have at PA.

    I never realized before how massively unfair it was that I never got issued with my proper share of childfree aunts and uncles. (The pair I did get - though excellent in many respects - were most unsatisfactory in the over-sugaring and pyrotechnic departments, having already encountered a number of my older cousins.)

    I am resolved to set an extra bad example to nephews and nieces to make up for my own deprivation. Anyone want to send their kids over so I can practice?

    tha Ith • Since May 2007 • 471 posts Report Reply

  • Judi Lapsley Miller,

    David said

    But I think the next step up is a banjolele -- an instrument considered so loathsome that P.G. Wodehouse based an entire novel on their awfulness.

    OMG! We had one of these for a while - picked up for a quarter at a yard sale. I liked the shape of the case and for a quarter, though it would make a fun decoration - was really surprised when I opened it to find a musical instrument inside! But less surprised when I found out what it was - and I wondered why they didn't pay us to take it away. Fortunately the skin was split so it wasn't possible to hear it in its full glory.

    And unfortunately for you, it didn't make the trip back from the US with us - otherwise you could have had it with our full blessings!

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 106 posts Report Reply

  • giovanni tiso,

    I am resolved to set an extra bad example to nephews and nieces to make up for my own deprivation. Anyone want to send their kids over so I can practice?

    <seizes upon chance to get rid of middle child>

    She'll be on the first plane.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report Reply

  • Kyle Matthews,

    I loved that ad! Like Islander, made no impact on my consumption of the product. :)

    It's pretty dated isn't it? If it came up now you can imagine some marketing guy coughing politely. "Umm, so the kids are a little obese, not really the image we're looking to convey these days about the product..."

    Since Nov 2006 • 6243 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    I never realized before how massively unfair it was that I never got issued with my proper share of childfree aunts and uncles.

    What's boggling me now is that my daughter's 'cool uncle' is the brother I hated so passionately when I was her age. (And younger, and older.)

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report Reply

  • andrew llewellyn,

    you can imagine some marketing guy coughing politely. "Umm, so the kids are a little obese, not really the image we're looking to convey these days about the product..."

    Shows how ahead of her time my mother was - back in the day she wrote to someone (either TVNZ or KFC, I can't recall) making exactly that point about that advertisment.

    Since Nov 2006 • 2075 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown,

    I loved that ad! Like Islander, made no impact on my consumption of the product. :)

    Just like that:

    And Hugo said you go
    And I said no you go,
    And soon he was back
    And then Dad his the track
    So we ate in the back
    Feelin' better inside

    A drive isn't funny
    On an empty tummy
    Thank goodness for Kentucky Fried

    Although I can't recall the beginning at all.

    I recall KFC's arrival as the first global fast food chain. Colonel Sanders even visited. It was the hot and happening thing to get your parents to buy, but I think I only ever ate it a handful of times. It just wasn't very nice.

    The last KFC I recall eating was a chickenburger in Taupo 20+ years ago. It was really, really horrible.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22850 posts Report Reply

  • Kerry Weston,

    Shows how ahead of her time my mother was - back in the day she wrote to someone (either TVNZ or KFC, I can't recall) making exactly that point about that advertisment.

    Ha! My very first letter of complaint *nay, outrage* was written to whatever passed for the TV Guide (TV Weekly?) to complain about all the *mean* things they did to Lassie. Poor old Lassie had just missed being splattered by a train, rescuing somebody and I'd found out that there were several dogs playing the role of the daring-do dog, so i wanted to know how many had been sacrificed for the show...

    Manawatu • Since Jan 2008 • 494 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    The last KFC I recall eating was a chickenburger in Taupo 20+ years ago. It was really, really horrible.

    We used to live in Mandeville St, and when the hot nor-west wind blew, it brought the smell of the Riccarton Rd KFC right into our backyard. We used to frequently bemoan the fact that the stuff didn't taste as good as it smelled.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report Reply

  • Rob Hosking,

    recall KFC's arrival as the first global fast food chain. Colonel Sanders even visited. It was the hot and happening thing to get your parents to buy, but I think I only ever ate it a handful of times. It just wasn't very nice.

    The first one was at the roundabout at Royal Oak, about 1971 I think. I remember going to visit friends of the family nearby - it must have been our annual trip to the Big Smoke - and driving past in the old Ford Consul the weekend it opened. There was a queue out the door and round the corner, standing there in the muggy Auckland drizzle. We didn't stop (not that we would have anyway: my folks didn't do the fast food thing)

    The last KFC I recall eating was a chickenburger in Taupo 20+ years ago. It was really, really horrible.

    In partial defence of KFC - everything in Taupo tasted horrible 20 years ago. It was like they had a bylaw or something. Yet it was always the stop off point on long trips - not just for cars but long distance buses.

    The worst fried chips I ever had were in Taupo. We threw them to the seagulls. They spat them out. Crapped on my car in revenge. (seriously, except maybe the revenge part)

    South Roseneath • Since Nov 2006 • 830 posts Report Reply

  • rodgerd,

    Mmmm. KFC. Popcorn chicken is like crack cocaine for me.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 512 posts Report Reply

  • Stephen Judd,

    The first one was at the roundabout at Royal Oak, about 1971 I think.

    At Royal Oak? Are you sure that was KFC? I distinctly remember some sort of KFC knock-off, but with a green-striped colour scheme instead of red, perhaps with the word "country" in the name, which I used to look at longingly when we drove up to visit my grandparents. Sort of a fried chicken parallel to the still-extant Ollie's.

    For me KFC is one of those things which is always far better in my memory and expectation than what I experience when I actually eat it, which I suppose is why my last KFC must be several years ago now.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 3122 posts Report Reply

  • rodgerd,

    (I have not, however, forgiven KFC for ditchng their bean salad)

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 512 posts Report Reply

  • dyan campbell,

    My only regret now is that I never had an Aunt or Uncle that let me throw Molotov cocktails (although my grandfather did make me a lethal crossbow when I was nine; the bolt of which would split a piece of 4x2 at about 10 metres).

    We didn't make Molotov cocktails, but we loved playing with fire, explosives, flammable things. This was in the days before any minded if children set fire to themselves.

    We would have battles at sea in a wheelbarrow filled with water, filling our old model ships and planes with cotton balls soaked in gasoline, and studding them with ladyfingers before setting fire to the lot.

    We'd buy tins of bug spray or hairspray and shoot them into the incinerator (I grew up in the 1960s, when children burned the trash, far, far out of range from adult supervision). Flammable things in aerosol tins made amazing flamethrowers, though in hindsight this was probably not the smartest thing we did, along with winter (snowboot) and summer (skateboard) bumper skiing.

    I remember always eating Kentucky fried chicken, in the old days when it was finger liking good

    I met Colonel Harland Saunders at a charity thing in Canada, though much to my shock and disappointment, they served little egg and cucumber sandwiches, not fried chicken.

    auckland • Since Dec 2006 • 595 posts Report Reply

  • David Haywood,

    On the subject of Colonel Saunders, many NZers won't know the explanation behind his title (I didn't). A PA reader who lives in Kentucky has just enlightened me.

    The things you learn through PA -- I had no idea we were so educational.

    Dunsandel • Since Nov 2006 • 1156 posts Report Reply

  • Josh Addison,

    I find I need to eat KFC once every month or two, just to remind me why I don't eat it the rest of the time.

    My cousins used to refer to it as "chunder chook", on account of the number of times they got sick after eating it...

    Onehunga, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 298 posts Report Reply

  • Islander,

    Re: chunder chook

    -one of my nieces got quite ill after eating KFC (it was flu' rather than- well, we *assume* it was the flu...): the next time she was given KFC she went (we're talking a 4yrold here)into the shower with it. Why? asked her perturbed parents. "Because I know I'm going to vomit." And she did.

    Big O, Mahitahi, Te Wahi … • Since Feb 2007 • 5643 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha,

    Ah, chunder chook. That was my first experience as an impressionable five year old at a friend's birthday party. Perhaps unsurprisingly I never liked the stuff afterwards.

    Didn't stop me liking the ad though. Very smart of them to anticipate the obesity they helped create.

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19745 posts Report Reply

  • Jackie Clark,

    .

    The first one was at the roundabout at Royal Oak, about 1971 I think

    I was about to rebut that, Rob, but then I googled KFC, and whaddya know, you're right. I always thought that the first one was in Takapuna - right by Ross' dairy on Taharoto Rd. Wrong, wrong, wrong. I used to love KFC - never the skin, just the chicken. And never the potato and gravy, or anything else except for the salads.

    (I have not, however, forgiven KFC for ditchng their bean salad)

    Neither have I, and I remain extremely miffed that they took away the potato salad. I am a potato salad connisseur and I have spent hours trying to recreate that KFC one. I think it was the white vinegar that gave it it's zing.

    Mt Eden, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 3136 posts Report Reply

  • Amy Gale,

    I distinctly remember some sort of KFC knock-off, but with a green-striped colour scheme instead of red, perhaps with the word "country" in the name, which I used to look at longingly when we drove up to visit my grandparents.

    The green stripes were "Homestead Chicken". I have no particular recollection of ever having chicken from there, or indeed anything except the fried sweetbreads which - I swear I am not making this up - were one of their standard side dishes.

    tha Ith • Since May 2007 • 471 posts Report Reply

  • Danielle,

    the fried sweetbreads which - I swear I am not making this up - were one of their standard side dishes

    That is just plain awesome. Bring back offal-based fast foods! Liver on a stick! Kidney chips! Intestines in gravy!

    I completely forgot about KFC's bean salad. Huh. When did that disappear? I liked it too.

    Charo World. Cuchi-cuchi!… • Since Nov 2006 • 3828 posts Report Reply

  • Amy Gale,

    <seizes upon chance to get rid of middle child>

    She'll be on the first plane.

    I can see it now. Auntie Amy's Homestays for Luckless Children

    PRO: buys chocolate in five kilo boxes

    CON: will make you do your maths homework

    tha Ith • Since May 2007 • 471 posts Report Reply

  • giovanni tiso,

    I can see it now. Auntie Amy's Homestays for Luckless Children

    PRO: buys chocolate in five kilo boxes

    Now the oldest insists on accompanying his sister.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report Reply

  • Islander,

    Amy - it gets worse-

    I have a 9yrold nephew staying - verbatim:

    "She gets *how* much chocalate? Is that each day or what?"
    "I love maths. I can be bribed.though."
    "America - o way good." (Probably the only one of the family who'd actually say that.)

    Now, can I load him as a parcel to you? Addresss please-

    Big O, Mahitahi, Te Wahi … • Since Feb 2007 • 5643 posts Report Reply

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