Up Front by Emma Hart

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Up Front: A Short Word Before We Begin

84 Responses

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  • JohnAmiria,

    Sorry pedants, the correct answer is ...

    Now I've got that running through my head... does it have words? The theme to Bonanza does.


    No it doesn't, but feel free to sing anyway ...

    hither and yon • Since Aug 2008 • 215 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    His version of 'Proud Mary' has to be heard to be believed. Just don't listen to it stoned: you'll die laughing.

    Surely it cannot be as bad as Shatner's spoken rendition of Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds. Surely.

    But I can't believe (and I think I speak for Jolisa here, too) that you're not going to exploit your children for cheap entertainment purposes. What sort of a writer are you?

    A big lie-y liar. After all, surely every thirteen year old boy needs to be able to come home from school and say 'Muuuum, why'd you tell everybody about that time I said women couldn't play cricket because their breasts would get in the way?'.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report Reply

  • Judi Lapsley Miller,

    The beauteous and erudite Emma said

    Thank you Judi. You can be my fangirl if you like, the position's vacant.

    Hee! But you'll have to see if David is willing to share ;-)

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 106 posts Report Reply

  • JohnAmiria,

    But you'll have to see if David is willing to share ;-)

    WTF - you mean Emma's not a lesbian midget? I'm outta here you big teasing lie-y liar ...

    hither and yon • Since Aug 2008 • 215 posts Report Reply

  • Tom Beard,

    Where does that leave someone like me, who's been both a mathematician and a literary critic, and who thinks that callipygean is one of the most beautiful and underused words in the English language? What part of my brain had to get emptied out to make way for both?

    Oh, that's right. Morals.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1040 posts Report Reply

  • Stephen Judd,

    callipygean is one of the most beautiful and underused words in the English language

    Underused? Let's face it, there aren't really that many truly beautiful arses around, nor are there many circumstances where it's polite for your admiration to be conveyed to another party.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 3122 posts Report Reply

  • David Slack,

    I shall, however, be sticking with the New Wave PA determination not to endlessly bitch about my health. .....
    Nor will I be pimping my children for column material.

    None taken.

    Devonport • Since Nov 2006 • 599 posts Report Reply

  • Tom Beard,

    Compared to the other phrases that might be used in such (perhaps rather too rare) circumstances, I consider it the most mellifluous, erudite and flattering alternative. Or perhaps one could try Duchamp's "L.H.O.O.Q.", although the occasions when such intellectual wankery would be both understood and appreciated are vanishingly rare.

    The other part of my brain to be squeezed out must have been the part that remembered the preferred spelling of "callipygian".

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1040 posts Report Reply

  • Stephen Judd,

    "You're looking particularly callipygeous today, love."

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 3122 posts Report Reply

  • Danielle,

    Callipygian? Sir Mix-A-Lot said it best: 'my anaconda don't want none unless you've got buns hon!'

    Yay, Emma. Since I seem to agree with everything she says, it's almost like *I* have a PA blog. But without all that time-consuming 'having to write posts' stuff.

    Charo World. Cuchi-cuchi!… • Since Nov 2006 • 3828 posts Report Reply

  • Tim Michie,

    Welcome to your blog Emma, although welcoming does seem strange as I've been reading your comments in recent posts... Looking forward to reading another work-lover...

    Auckward • Since Nov 2006 • 614 posts Report Reply

  • Lucy Stewart,

    I once watched two engineering students fail to open the easy-peel wrapper on a block of cheese.

    You literary types will appreciate this: my electrical engineer flatmate once turned to me while that Trojan Horse cold medicine ad was playing and said "I don't get it. What's the joke?"

    I explained that it was referring to the myth of the Trojan Horse.

    "Myth? I thought that was just a name for a kind of computer virus."

    This is also the flatmate whose solution to repeatedly burning his toast because he'd forgotten to check the setting was to permanently hot-glue the knob to the lowest setting. He's working on his PhD. Frankly, I'm kind of afraid.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2105 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    who thinks that callipygean is one of the most beautiful and underused words in the English language

    For years, callipygean was my favourite obscure word. Then a few weeks ago it hit Digg, and I had to give it up, because I am a snob. I'm now left with zenzizenzizenzic and opisthenar.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    WTF - you mean Emma's not a lesbian midget? I'm outta here you big teasing lie-y liar ...

    Sorry. But honestly, with the vast buffet of humanity laid out before me, I'm going to voluntarily restrict myself to only dining from one side? I don't think so.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report Reply

  • Idiot Savant,

    Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome

    It has a name? I thought it was just geek-lag.

    Palmerston North • Since Nov 2006 • 1717 posts Report Reply

  • Che Tibby,

    But honestly, with the vast buffet of humanity laid out before me

    that buffet is obviously laid out on many small tables over a large space, otherwise you'd:
    a. not be able to reach the centrepiece
    b. take forever to get all the way round past the salads and the cold meats to the pavlova.

    the back of an envelope • Since Nov 2006 • 2042 posts Report Reply

  • giovanni tiso,

    I'm now left with zenzizenzizenzic and opisthenar.

    Try gibigiana.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report Reply

  • 3410,

    I am not Keith.

    I thought you were going to do "Which Rolling Stone are you?"

    Congrats on your new blog.

    Auckland • Since Jan 2007 • 2618 posts Report Reply

  • John Russell,

    BTW, even I wasn't anticipating lowering the bar this far this fast.

    And yet .. you found a way.

    Auckland • Since Aug 2008 • 17 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    that buffet is obviously laid out on many small tables over a large space, otherwise you'd:
    a. not be able to reach the centrepiece

    It's much easier to reach the centrepiece if you're prepared to just crawl right across the table.

    And yet .. you found a way.

    I had help, in my defence. And anyway, you can talk.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report Reply

  • Hadyn Green,

    Back to the word conversation, I have just been reminded of a brief but intense argument I had with Amy last night:
    To use the search engine Google to find something is "googling" or Google-ing"?

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2090 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    To use the search engine Google to find something is "googling" or Google-ing"?

    Canoodle - canoodling

    ergo

    Google - googling

    I am so double-checking this for incidences of Muphry's Law.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report Reply

  • Rob Hosking,

    Surely it cannot be as bad as Shatner's spoken rendition of Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds. Surely.

    Well, Shatner acts, or rather over-acts, his way through Lucy..

    " somebody calls you
    You answer [puts on yawning voice] qui-i-ite slooowly...
    [urgent]
    "A Girl!!
    With Kaliedescope Eyes!"

    Nimroy under-acts, he sounds like he's on mogoadon.

    I have both on a home made compilation CD - a double CD, I might add - I've called 'The Good, the Bad, and the Downright Cheesy'.

    And I really need to get out more.

    South Roseneath • Since Nov 2006 • 830 posts Report Reply

  • Hadyn Green,

    Canoodle - canoodling

    ergo

    Google - googling

    See now I agree, but my beloved's argument is that Google is a concrete noun. So it'd be more like Xerox to Xerox-ing.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2090 posts Report Reply

  • FletcherB,

    Are you guys discussing spelling or pronunciation?

    I would suggest that however you choose to spell them... the double-vowel sound should be retained... so they rhyme with one another....

    google rhymes with bugle and feudal.... the oo sound from mood.

    googling looks like it might use the shorter oo sound from hood?

    West Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 893 posts Report Reply

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