Up Front by Emma Hart

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Up Front: Actors Don't Hunt in Packs

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  • Rich Lock,

    Reminds me of a story from someone working as a kids' party clown in Australia, who was "dakked" (had his clown pants yanked down} by a sneaky anklebiter as he attempted to juggle.

    Looks like the ankle biter just wanted to see how well the juggler handled a couple more balls being added to the mix....

    back in the mother countr… • Since Feb 2007 • 2328 posts Report Reply

  • dyan campbell,

    But teh wiki agrees with me. It's called that because commandos did it. I find it especially hard to believe that GI Joe even could go commando - his undies are built in.

    I never knew GI Joe had built in undies, but that does seem practical. But the phrase didn't refer to Joe's undies, but to the way he rappelled into battle (swinging wildly on a rope held by a little boy). The phrase "go commando" used in the ad was picked up to describe the way testicles behave when unrestrained by undies.

    The Wiki does indeed back up the notion that commandos used to go without undies, though I seriously doubt that - undies and socks were very valuable to any soldiers anywhere - there is a great deal more chafing and less hygiene without them -. It doesn't really make sense to go without them for either reason.

    The wiki writer probably isn't old enough (i.e. over 50) to remember the series of ads that ran on tv in the 60s with the catchy song:

    "GI Joe, GI Joe,
    Fighting man from head to toe
    On the land, on the sea, in the air!"

    The ad showed kids playing with Joe who was driving in a tank, on a D-Day style amphibious vehicle, then by air and GI Joe would dangle from an aircraft by a rope, swinging back and forth. As GI Joe was was dangling from the aircraft of his choice, the announcer would say, over the music "GI Joe can go commando "

    Then he'd say "accessories sold separately". There were a lot of accessories! I didn't play with GI Joe, but I must say I admired the GI Joe in the very prettyl silver space suit, with the Gemini Space capsule.

    auckland • Since Dec 2006 • 595 posts Report Reply

  • BenWilson,

    The Wiki does indeed back up the notion that commandos used to go without undies, though I seriously doubt that - undies and socks were very valuable to any soldiers anywhere - there is a great deal more chafing and less hygiene without them -. It doesn't really make sense to go without them for either reason.

    Depends on the undies, and the conditions. Wet underwear are worse than no underwear, and in the tropics, they can be wet constantly. Also, Jockies style undies ride right up into the deepest cracks and stay there, particularly if you are engaged in heavy exercise.

    I was reading yesterday that some of it may be a macho thing too - that if you wore undies you could hide whether or not you had shit yourself. So only the bravest soldiers went without.

    Socks are a different matter. I've never heard of any soldiers recommending to go without those.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 8305 posts Report Reply

  • Moz,

    I'm considering hiring myself out as a bodyguard to protect women from other women. I suspect I'd hardly ever have to actually say anything

    No, because the sight of you winding up to say something would freeze a polar bear's blood. Heaven forfend you actually get to the point of sarcasm. Although the idea of hiring you as a bodyguard does have its attractions...

    Jackie, I have one friend who says her breasts didn't so much grow out as down. They droop to waist height now, and she could just about breast feed her babies when they were on her back :) And she is not shy about wandering round more or less naked (does a towel over your arm mean you're not naked?)

    Sydney, West Island • Since Nov 2006 • 409 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha,

    a towel over your arm

    Silver service?

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 16281 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    No, because the sight of you winding up to say something would freeze a polar bear's blood

    Can we pretend Moz and I have never met? No?

    Although the idea of hiring you as a bodyguard does have its attractions...

    It'd be a great excuse to dress like this. The eyepatch is even on the right side.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4328 posts Report Reply

  • Rachel Prosser,

    I've found that being short-sighted works in my favour as i can take out my contact lenses and indulge in the belief that I look just as fuzzy to everyone else as they do to me.

    I worked on that basis a few years back when I got into swimming again. Then my optometrist told me I could wear my contact lenses under goggles, and now I get to see the beauty of life underwater.

    I forgot my (blue) goggles one day, and a friend gave me her old pair of golden orange ones, with lenses that are likewise orange. Now every time I swim it's like a bright, bright sunshiney day. I can heartily recommend yellow-tinted lenses as a result.

    My body is certainly not conventionally perfect, but I haven't noticed any of the "judgeypants" thing going on.

    Although I did think it inapproopriate for a woman to bring her 7-8 year old boy into the women's changing room, when Centennial Pool has good family changing options.

    She seemed to be deliberately challenging, wearing a T shirt "tell your boyfriend to stop looking at my tits" and with a large swastika tattoo on her arm.

    So I judged her, but haven't felt or perceived others to be judgemental at Centennial otherwise.

    Christchurch • Since Mar 2008 • 225 posts Report Reply

  • Rachel Prosser,

    On the "Actor" v "Actress" thing.

    I've sometimes thought that sexism might be better addressed by using gendered terms. By referencing the female and male versions you make it explicit that women are included.

    Envisage an actor - what gender do you think of?

    The thing is, if females take the male term, then women become invisible. Much as occurs when "he" is taken to include "she" in legislation.

    Perhaps it's better to explicitly reference both genders. So "Hollywood's actors and actresses were out in force..."

    Being Testatrix or Aviatrix sounds cool too.

    Christchurch • Since Mar 2008 • 225 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha,

    Envisage an actor - what gender do you think of? The thing is, if females take the male term, then women become invisible.

    Not if you say "she is an actor", surely?
    And is gender the most relevant characteristic?

    Aviatrix

    Always liked that word.

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 16281 posts Report Reply

  • steven crawford,

    It'd be a great excuse to dress like this. The eyepatch is even on the right side.

    Funny that, I was in Christchurch yesterday. I was keeping an eye out for a bookish type, sporting some-sort of battle scar.

    Since Nov 2006 • 2485 posts Report Reply

  • Rob Hosking,

    Thanks for the great post Emma. It really took me back, the smells, the endless rehearsals, the excitement.

    Me too. And that's just the commando/grunds part of the discussion.

    Not if you say "she is an actor", surely?
    And is gender the most relevant characteristic?

    Depends on the she who is an actor. Some of 'em are all gender and sod-all acting.

    South Roseneath • Since Nov 2006 • 802 posts Report Reply

  • 3410,

    Always liked that word.

    'cause it reminds you of 'dominatrix,' I'll wager.

    Auckland • Since Jan 2007 • 2618 posts Report Reply

  • dyan campbell,

    It'd be a great excuse to dress like this. The eyepatch is even on the right side.

    I have a (still gorgeous) friend from Vancouver who was the model for Arrow Shirts for years, and they always made him wear an eyepatch for the ads. Some gimmick or something. He made more from that campaign than for just about any other work.

    auckland • Since Dec 2006 • 595 posts Report Reply

  • Jackie Clark,

    I have one friend who says her breasts didn't so much grow out as down.

    I'm there. I have to say, however, that having gone braless for the last 30 years, suddenly,to my horror and chagrin, I am wearing bras. I have never liked them. They just represent oppression and stiflement to me. Going to the gym as much as I now do, though, requires a good sports bra, which I have, and so, as somewhat of an organic move, my old bras are coming back into service. Because, as loath as I am to admit it, the gym is also giving me a bit of an unhealthy vanity thing. And bras, especially with a bosom that positively overflows with ample sufficiency, do make a better looking silhouette in photos. Isn't that appalling? I will now hide my head in shame.

    Mt Eden, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 3121 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha,

    'cause it reminds you of 'dominatrix,' I'll wager.

    Nope. Though I can see how you could link them, what with the leather and all.

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 16281 posts Report Reply

  • George Darroch,

    Isn't that appalling? I will now hide my head in shame.

    No shame, at least in my book. There's enough body shame around - if you want to look a particular way, then that's wonderful.

    The People's Republic of … • Since Nov 2006 • 2121 posts Report Reply

  • Bart Janssen,

    unhealthy vanity thing

    Jackie! Hang your head in shame. Not about wanting to show off your silhouette but for thinking for a second your vanity is unhealthy.

    Repeat after me "I am gorgeous and enjoying that is NOT unhealthy!"

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 3222 posts Report Reply

  • Megan Wegan,

    Isn't that appalling? I will now hide my head in shame.

    Dude. Not to jump on the bandwagon, but stop that now!
    What is wrong with wanting to look good, and to show off your damn hard work?

    Also, Bart: shoes. (They're the ones I was banging on about over in the other thread.)

    Welly • Since Jul 2008 • 1273 posts Report Reply

  • Rich Lock,

    Aviatrix

    Always liked that word.

    'cause it reminds you of 'dominatrix,' I'll wager.

    So an Aviatrix is like a dominatrix with wings?

    Wings, dude. Wings.

    Wow.

    back in the mother countr… • Since Feb 2007 • 2328 posts Report Reply

  • Dinah Dunavan,

    So an Aviatrix is like a dominatrix with wings?

    I get an image of a short, blond, moustached guy with a winged helmet and all dressed in black leather and chains. A bit early in the morning, I think.

    Dunedin • Since Jun 2008 • 170 posts Report Reply

  • Mrs Skin,

    Jackie stop that at once! Of course you should be proud of what you've worked for.

    I have a particular fondness for the word administratrix, as in:
    Mrs Skin
    Administratrix
    Estate of H S Devoir

    It's cleaner and more strict than dominatrix, and probably wears a tailored shirt in a narrow sky-blue stripe. It may use wooden rulers.

    Not that I've spent any time thinking about this.

    the warmest room in the h… • Since Feb 2009 • 168 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha,

    a dominatrix with wings

    Or with an eyepatch if Emma has her way. Really is worth checking out that movie.

    It may use wooden rulers.

    Good use of texture, and school associations. Full marks.

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 16281 posts Report Reply

  • Jackie Clark,

    How kind you all are. However, I have touted myself for far too long as the one who doesn't care too much for how she looks. And I genuinely don't, really. I do like my new muscles et al, but wearing a bra cos it looks good in photos? Smacks of shallow shit. Mind you, I am pretty fucking gorgeous, and I admit to looking enviously at Emma's book frontage. The encasing of the frontage, I should say.

    Mt Eden, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 3121 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha,

    You can admit it. This peppered talk of frontage is nothing more than a carefully designed teaser publicity campaign, innit?

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 16281 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    This peppered talk of frontage is nothing more than a carefully designed teaser publicity campaign, innit?

    Um, yeeesss. Not an indication of how many of my conversations are naturally about tits.

    wearing a bra cos it looks good in photos? Smacks of shallow shit.

    And shallow is bad, right? Because... Hells, we're all shallow about something, and shallow is often a doorway to easy happiness. I felt better in hospital once I was allowed to put on my favourite nightie. I kept telling people I was the Grace Kelly of Neurology - alright, from slightly after the car accident, but still.

    I don't give a rat's about my feet, or my wrinkles or my grey hairs, but I do about my chest. Yes it's mostly good genes, but so is my intellect and I'm allowed to be proud of that.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4328 posts Report Reply

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