Up Front by Emma Hart

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Up Front: Boobs!

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  • Ian Dalziel,

    Libertine-agers...

    Mutton dressed as lamb

    Skinks doused in Lynx
    or even
    Roué dressed as Roe

    Christchurch • Since Dec 2006 • 7953 posts Report Reply

  • Jolisa,

    Pot bellies and lyrca just don't seem to work together.

    Haggis dressed as saveloy?

    Auckland, NZ • Since Nov 2006 • 1472 posts Report Reply

  • Deborah,

    Of course, it's one thing to agree that it's okay to proudly carry one's body without being thought a whore.

    Tricker, is when/why/for how long it's okay to look.

    If the oglee is wearing one of these t-shirts, that might be a hint that your gaze is not appreciated.

    There's a long discussion about dealing with Professor Breast Man on Dr Isis' blog. NB: some images may be NSFW. The context is different: a post-doc working in a lab with a professor who stares at her breasts, to the extent that she has changed what she wears, and he still stares. Not the same as someone getting on her strumpet.

    It's a tricky line between admiring, because it's invited, and oogling and turning the subject into an object. Case by case, a lot of sensitivity, a lot of awareness of cultural context, and a readiness to apologise and modify behaviour if you are called out on it.

    There's a good discussion on sexual objectification on Finally, a Feminism 101 Blog, in both the original post and in the comments..

    Sexual objectification is the viewing of people solely as de-personalised objects of desire instead of as individuals with complex personalities and desires/plans of their own. This is done by speaking/thinking of women especially as only their bodies, either the whole body, or as fetishised body parts.

    Sexual attraction is not the same as sexual objectification: objectification only occurs when the individuality of the desired person is not acknowledged.

    New Lynn • Since Nov 2006 • 1447 posts Report Reply

  • Deborah,

    Pot bellies and lyrca just don't seem to work together.

    Sure they do! They're just not wearing lycra so that you may admire them: they're wearing it because it happens to be the most fitting attire for the activity they were engaged in.

    Just like the short leather skirt that Eric Bana wore as Hector in Troy was the most fitting attire for the activity he was engaged in.

    New Lynn • Since Nov 2006 • 1447 posts Report Reply

  • Ian Dalziel,

    Spandex© Ballet...
    or SpanDexies Midday Runners?

    Pot bellies and lycra© just don't seem to work together.

    Abso-resolutely flabulous...

    Christchurch • Since Dec 2006 • 7953 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    Just like the short leather skirt that Eric Bana wore as Hector in Troy was the most fitting attire for the activity he was engaged in.

    Appreciation of this moment was almost immediately spoiled by the memory of That Scene from Alexander.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report Reply

  • Kumara Republic,

    Personally, I always go for "mid-life wardrobe crisis" -- because when middle-aged men start dressing like teenagers the automotive strap-on and barely legal mistress never seems to be far behind. Not that I wish to further any stereotypes... :)

    The most obvious example.

    The southernmost capital … • Since Nov 2006 • 5446 posts Report Reply

  • Isabel Hitchings,

    The perception that clothing appropriate for exercising in (lycra bike gear, swimming togs, jogging shorts etc) is only acceptable on bodies that already look like they have done lots of exercise is....problematic.

    Christchurch • Since Jul 2007 • 719 posts Report Reply

  • giovanni tiso,

    If the oglee is wearing one of these t-shirts, that might be a hint that your gaze is not appreciated.

    I hate those t-shirts. I like to think I'm not a creepy ogler, but I am a compulsive reader. Write something on your boobs, I'm going to want to know what it is. In fact there's a reason for preferring smaller breasts right there: they make the writing less bumpy.

    It's a cheap trick, is what it is.

    But for some reason it brought back one of those Onion throwaway side headlines from long ago: Woman Tired of Men Staring at Her Breast Implants.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report Reply

  • Isabel Hitchings,

    I hate those t-shirts. I like to think I'm not a creepy ogler, but I am a compulsive reader.

    Ditto. I also tend to read those shirts as having a subtext of "I have this issue because my boobs are so much nicer than yours" which may be unfair.

    Christchurch • Since Jul 2007 • 719 posts Report Reply

  • Joe Wylie,

    In fact there's a reason for preferring smaller breasts right there: they make the writing less bumpy.

    If the shirt says sOuthern cOmfort then you're probably expected to stare.

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 4593 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown,

    The perception that clothing appropriate for exercising in (lycra bike gear, swimming togs, jogging shorts etc) is only acceptable on bodies that already look like they have done lots of exercise is....problematic.

    See, I have this problem with increasingly loving cycling, but thinking that fancy cycling gear looks daft and try-hard on people who aren't proper competitive cyclists.

    I'm going to have to get over it though. Any more than 20km without padded cycle shorts does get a wee bit uncomfortable ...

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22850 posts Report Reply

  • Joe Wylie,

    Any more than 20km without padded cycle shorts does get a wee bit uncomfortable ...

    Off topic I know, but if you're prepared to ride with handlebars around 3" higher than the seat, while sitting on one of these (also known as Cheeko 90), you'll feel no pain, guaranteed. Saved my sorry aged ass.

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 4593 posts Report Reply

  • Kyle Matthews,

    "Strumpet" really looks lonely without "Brazen" beside it.

    I can't picture "Brazen" without "hussy", surely.

    Since Nov 2006 • 6243 posts Report Reply

  • James Butler,

    See, I have this problem with increasingly loving cycling, but thinking that fancy cycling gear looks daft and try-hard on people who aren't proper competitive cyclists.

    I'm going to have to get over it though. Any more than 20km without padded cycle shorts does get a wee bit uncomfortable ...

    You can get padded cycling shorts cunningly disguised as cargo shorts - so instead of looking like a daft try-hard cyclist, you can look like a daft 90's fashion throwback.

    My commute (which I don't cycle that often TBH) is 17km each way, and normal sports shorts are fine now that I have callouses in the right places.

    Auckland • Since Jan 2009 • 856 posts Report Reply

  • Craig Ranapia,

    See, I have this problem with increasingly loving cycling, but thinking that fancy cycling gear looks daft and try-hard on people who aren't proper competitive cyclists.

    Oh, as long as they don't get their balls shaved and feel compelled to share their adventures in man-scaping with a horrified family gathering. Not only an epic over-share of Tolstoyan proportions, but I could have done without the eye-worm of how that could possibly enhance his cycling experience.

    North Shore, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 12370 posts Report Reply

  • JackElder,

    See, I have this problem with increasingly loving cycling, but thinking that fancy cycling gear looks daft and try-hard on people who aren't proper competitive cyclists.

    Nah, it's part of the fun. Half the reason I cycle is to have an excuse to wear lycra.
    More seriously: if you've not tried "proper" cycling kit, give it a go. A decent pair of proper shorts makes a huge difference to comfort (and prevents inner thigh chafing). And for jerseys, you can go understated if you want - though garish is much more fun. Team replica can look a bit tryhard (though I occasionally wear my 2003 CSC replica kit, allez Tyler Hamilton and all that), but it's also just a hell of a lot more comfortable than a t-shirt when you're giving it welly.

    while sitting on one of these (also known as Cheeko 90)

    Get yerself a Brooks. They take about 1000km to break in, then they're ludicrously comfortable. The Doc Marten of bicycle saddles. I run a B17 on my road bike, and it's glorious.

    Back to context: I have, on occasion, had wolf-whistles or admiring comments about my lycra-clad arse while I'm out riding - usually from cars full of young women. I'm pretty sure that's objectification, but I'm not complaining.

    cargo shorts - so instead of looking like a daft try-hard cyclist, you can look like a daft 90's fashion throwback

    Hellfire, are cargo shorts a daft 90s throwback thing? I'm wearing a pair right now!

    Oh, as long as they don't get their balls shaved and feel compelled to share their adventures in man-scaping with a horrified family gathering.

    Wow. Really? Even the professionals mostly don't bother shaving much past the end of their shorts. I'm really struggling to think what on earth a denuded scrotum could do to knock a few seconds off your 10k TT splits.

    Wellington • Since Mar 2008 • 709 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown,

    OTOH, bikes look sleek and alluring in a way many of the people who ride them don't, me included.

    Got busted ogling this bit of bike porn yesterday.

    Mmmm.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22850 posts Report Reply

  • James Butler,

    Hellfire, are cargo shorts a daft 90s throwback thing? I'm wearing a pair right now!

    I keep a pair to wear with my old Radiohead t-shirt at retro parties.

    Auckland • Since Jan 2009 • 856 posts Report Reply

  • JackElder,

    Got busted ogling this bit of bike porn yesterday.

    Alfine 8-spd hub gear, hydraulic disk brakes... looks like an excellent commuter, or just a fairly bulletproof general purpose bike (or, as Merida themselves call it, a "coffee shop bike" cough cough). I'd be tempted. Quick google didn't turn up any retailers in NZ, though Merida do sell here and somewhere like Rocket Bikes would probably be able to sort you out. In the same vein, I'm still contemplating acquiring one of the Avanti Blade 8 belt drive bikes for winter use.

    Wellington • Since Mar 2008 • 709 posts Report Reply

  • giovanni tiso,

    This days on PAS it seems like bikes are the chief means of threadjacking.

    Not that there's anything wrong with that.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report Reply

  • Leopold,

    As an owner of a fine pair, how do manboobs fit into this seismic experiment? Or does God have a pair himself, and is consequently less excited? Should we form a Gents' Auxiliary for the Big Day Out?
    C'mon Iranian clergy, we need to know!

    Since Jan 2007 • 153 posts Report Reply

  • recordari,

    Blokes on bikes? Not sure it will garner quite the controversy of the Steve Crow equivalent. Unless they are in Backless Chaps.

    AUCKLAND • Since Dec 2009 • 2607 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown,

    Some just linked to this on Twitter, and it seemed relevant:

    I gotta tell her how hot she is
    But if I tell her how hot she is she`ll think I`m being sexist
    She`s so hot, she`s making me sexist -- bitch ...

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22850 posts Report Reply

  • Isabel Hitchings,

    There's even a bike in that clip - so relevant on so many levels.

    Christchurch • Since Jul 2007 • 719 posts Report Reply

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