Up Front by Emma Hart

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Up Front: Disunited

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  • Mrs Skin,

    "You used to bully me a lot."

    High five, lady. That's awesome.

    It's not in the least reprehensible to call someone out on their crappy behaviour. And you did it without roundly abusing her, showing more self-restraint that I'd be prepared to attribute to myself in such a situation.

    the warmest room in the h… • Since Feb 2009 • 168 posts Report Reply

  • Hilary Stace,

    At a primary school reunion I was helping at I observed a victim confront a former bully. Both were in their 60s, and ended up talking about something that had made them both feel bad for decades, although neither had previously considered the others perspective. It is the sort of restorative justice that reunions can sometimes facilitate.

    Wgtn • Since Jun 2008 • 2131 posts Report Reply

  • mobsta,

    I saw my primary school bully on the bus once, he'd just got out of jail ... sometimes the last laugh is a knowing smile out the window

    heh.
    I had the opposite happen.

    Went to school with this real bad bastard.
    Leather jacket, smoked, bullied, stole money from the Telethon jar, you name it Terry did it (and this was intermediate!).

    Bumped into him on the street about 10 years later.
    Said he would buy me coffee...

    The first words out of his mouth as we sat down were..."Have you thought about God recently....?"

    I think I scalded my mouth trying to drink my coffee as quickly as I could.....

    wellington • Since Jul 2009 • 8 posts Report Reply

  • steven crawford,

    The first words out of his mouth as we sat down were..."Have you thought about God recently....?"

    Thats a well known practice, used by criminals, to ward off acquaintances, without raising suspicion. He was probably planing a big job.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2777 posts Report Reply

  • Kyle MacDonald,

    Awfully sorry to interupt, and I know this is very rude of me but...

    ACC are trying to drastically reduce funding and access for counselling available to visitims of sexual assault and childhood sexual abuse (Sensitive Claims.)
    Please help the counsellors and therapists trying to fight these changes by signing this online petition:

    http://www.petitiononline.com/ACC0909/petition.html
    Thank you muchly fellow Public Address readers

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 50 posts Report Reply

  • steven crawford,

    Please help the counsellors and therapists trying to fight these changes by signing this online petition:

    How about helping the actual sufferers of PTSD, by not subjecting them to an insurance assessment in the first place.

    Maybe the privet provider model is inappropriate. If all the funding that is being chewed up by privet health providers, was passed on to public health providers, we might start to also see some research and eventual public awareness of the real dynamics of sexual abuse. Not just the myth. Sexual abuse is a community sickness, it's not just the victims problem alone.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2777 posts Report Reply

  • steven crawford,

    My last comment is a little ambiguous, in attempting economical use of words. Let me try to explain with a little more clarity.

    I don't believe that ACC should have anything to do with sexual abuse therapy, nor should any privately owned insurance company for that matter. How would you like to be assessed in much the same why as a car wreck? The insurance company (ACC) wants to minimize its liability. This is done by finding preexisting damage such as alcoholism, bipolar disorder even a history of physical (not sexual) abuse and neglect in childhood can be used to minimize the claim. The claim being for the: "mental injury" as is the legal definition.

    OK, so a trained therapist from the list of ACC approved private practitioners will be paid just shy of $80 dollars an hour, for you to disclose this taboo, this "mental injury". But you will be hard pressed to find a therapist on the list that will be satisfied
    with the ACC payment, so they will expect you to pay an extra twenty or thirty dollars. If you do have a mental injury, you might not be in full-time employment, making it difficult to pay them each week. Not to worry your therapist might help you to max out you disability supplement from Wins.

    Thats the therapeutic relationship. Its founded on a grown up, negotiated financial transaction. I can see how It all makes perfect sense from the therapists perspective. Problem is sufferers of "human cause" PTSD (complex) are not always good at grown up stuff IME. I can see how the victim might feel, exploited by the more emotionally measured therapist. Especially if they where exploited to the core during childhood.

    I find it difficult to say all that needs to be said on this subject, with my dyslexia, two finger typing. So with a bit of luck, Kyle or one of the other ACC contractors might say a little more than fuck all, about this not small problem, the elephant in the room that is IMHO the root cause of suicide and homicide.

    I put my name on the petition, but wheres the debates? could someone kindly link to it.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2777 posts Report Reply

  • stephen walker,

    sometimes, steven, you speak with a level of clarity turned up to 11 on the volume control. but it needs to be heard. thanks.

    nagano • Since Nov 2006 • 635 posts Report Reply

  • steven crawford,

    Your welcome, but on this occasion I was just talking normally, but about something serious, because It involves tax payers money. Millions and millions of it.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2777 posts Report Reply

  • Joe Wylie,

    I put my name on the petition, but wheres the debates? could someone kindly link to it.

    Me too, but a little more info would be helpful. And I wonder, in the light of steven's comments, how ACC policy on these things has been influenced by the Peter Ellis debacle, where supposed victims received evaluation, and often substantial compensation, well before the first trial was concluded.

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 3597 posts Report Reply

  • steven crawford,

    Me too, but a little more info would be helpful.

    I put my name to that petition because when someone fronts up to reveal an experience of sexual abuse, they are likely to be at a tipping point. The term "survivor of sexual abuse" is appropriate, because people do die as a result of it, but years after the event. It is the burden of shame, Social anxiety and unrelenting grief that require professional help.

    ACC is going to raise the hurdles. They are going to limit the treatment, if they approve it at all (ACC is an insurance corporation). The treatment is going to be limited to 16 counseling sessions. Regardless of the fact that some of the "claimants" have been concealing experiences of incest, or just the one rape, what ACC are offering is inadequate, and gruel.

    The likely result of these ACC changes, will be a significant rise in community mental health service referrals. That might well lead to increased infrastructure there, to be optimistic. The petition might have been better addressed to the minister of health, asking that they take sexual abuse injury seriously, and at the very least, start to make it's treatment easily accessible, without prejudice.

    As it is, I have signed that partition because there are no other options. And if I do nothing, I affectively, cowardly turn and look the other way.

    Talking about sexual abuse (other than expressing anger toward the perpetrators) makes people feel uncomfortable, and thats understandable.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2777 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha,

    Steven, is it fair to say you are annoyed about the therapists taking it on themselves to speak out about this on behalf of their clients?

    That well-intentioned but disempowering behaviour is common in disability circles too - actually, any area where the beneficiary of action is assumed to be incompetent to speak for themselves. I know there are privacy issues too, and the social stigma about sexual abuse, mental health and disability. And the desire to get on with your life and leave that focus behind.

    Mind you, we don't have the cohesive and resourced networks that the practitioners have, so it often becomes a question of whether them saying something is better than nothing.
    Even if that means continuing to push a line that what is good for them is good for their clients. In this case, motivation seems to include straightforward preservation of a major income source, which might lead to some conflicts of interest in their advocacy.

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 16838 posts Report Reply

  • steven crawford,

    Steven, is it fair to say you are annoyed about the therapists taking it on themselves to speak out about this on behalf of their clients?

    I am more annoyed about the fact that I am having to speak out about this. Kyle MacDonald jumped in here, dropped this thing, and he hasn't even signed the petition. The therapists are in a far better position to speak about the difficulties that there clients face, than most of there clients, because talking about sexual abuse, from experience can invite social alienation, and rejection, real or perceived and that not nothing. I am interested to see where they are genuinely speaking on behalf of there clients; where there isn't the conflict of financial interest.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2777 posts Report Reply

  • steven crawford,

    It was interesting to hear the debate regarding the ACC sensitive claim unit. The ACC director scored some very good points.

    It's a real sham that our community is too chicken shit to go there.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2777 posts Report Reply

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