Up Front by Emma Hart

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Up Front: Does My Mortgage Look Like a Slag in This?

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  • Emma Hart,

    Moreover, I can't stand those plastic nails women wear. I've always thought that these sorts of fashions were a sign of female insecurity - the pressure to look pretty.

    Cecelia, I have a very dear friend who is one of the most intelligent people I know, who wears acryllic nails all the time. They're her treat for herself, and they look beautiful. Did you consider when you wrote that, that some woman wearing fake nails might read it, and feel bad about herself?

    Would you like your 15 - 16 year old daughter to dress like that?

    I have a twelve year old daughter. I want her to wear whatever she feels comfortable in. Currently that's baggy cammo pants and sweatshirts, and my frisson of anxiety is around her feeling so uncomfortable with her body that she feels she needs to cover it up all the time. She does at least have the strength of character to not just wear what all her friends are wearing (black leggings, and at least three layers of knit tops).

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha,

    baggy cammo pants

    Raising next Kaos generation, I see.. :)

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19745 posts Report Reply

  • Cecelia,

    Yes I can see your point about the nails, Emma. I'm sorry if it was a bit nasty. It's just that I really do not understand the nails. I've always felt that it's social conditioning that makes women want to wear impractical things. It's fashion, isn't it?

    Hibiscus Coast • Since Apr 2008 • 559 posts Report Reply

  • giovanni tiso,

    A tie is not terribly practical either, and talk about social conditioning. And really fake nails aren't all that different from jewellery, are they? Wear them, don't wear them, I'm not sure you can take the pleasure that some indivuduals derive from choosing them and using them and say "that's the result of conditioning", therefore bad.

    We're social beings, so much of what we do is the result of socialisations. Doesn't mean we're passive victims of it.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha,

    I don't understand why it's the impractical things that are fashionable.

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19745 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    I've always felt that it's social conditioning that makes women want to wear impractical things. It's fashion, isn't it?

    My friend wears them to play piano as part of her job, so perhaps they're not quite as impractical as they look?

    And it's just occured to me, a propos of this, that all the "sluttiest" clothes I own were given to me by mother, who is famous in my social group for her excellent taste in my clothes. This perhaps compensates for her telling me when I was thirteen that I'd want a nose job one day. (Often we don't have to look very far for our mixed messages on body image, yes?)

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    I don't understand why it's the impractical things that are fashionable.

    *cough*iPod*cough*

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report Reply

  • stephen walker,

    I'm relief teaching at the mo and when I see my students (girls) dressed in sexy gear on mufti days I feel a frisson of concern.

    @Cecelia:
    this phenomenon can be explained by my top 10 list:
    1. constant media images
    2. media brainwashing
    3. reinforcement by slightly older peers
    4. media images
    5. media brainwashing
    6. adolescent insecurity of not wanting to look different
    7. media images
    8. media brainwashing
    9. all the crap the clothes shops are trying to sell at huge profit
    10. media images

    just MHO, though!

    (in Japan, this phenomenon was really extreme from the mid-90s to about three years ago. seems to have calmed down a bit recently. i always blame the ad agencies and their media lackies.)

    nagano • Since Nov 2006 • 646 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha,

    *cough*iPod*cough*

    Eh? I don't have one, but how are they not practical?

    Or are you subtly communicating gift preferences to significant others? :)

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19745 posts Report Reply

  • giovanni tiso,

    I don't understand why it's the impractical things that are fashionable.

    Otherwise we'd all be wearing one piece silver suits, like in the future.

    One theory is that it's what happens in the animal kingdom, say with pheasants and the such: look at me, I'm such a healthy specimen I can afford to develop parts of me that are for pure aesthetic purpose, no practical use whatsoever. And so with people what doesn't have a utilitarian purposes attracts attention. Impractical is beautiful. Does art have a purpose?

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha,

    i always blame the ad agencies and their media lackies

    But that makes us all victims rather than active agents of our cruel fate.

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19745 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha,

    Impractical is beautiful.

    Ah, that does explain it. Beautifully.

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19745 posts Report Reply

  • stephen walker,

    i was talking about adolescent women, specifically.

    nagano • Since Nov 2006 • 646 posts Report Reply

  • giovanni tiso,

    *cough*iPod*cough*

    An iPod is (was) a fashionable thing to have but makes you look like a complete dork. Give me somebody who goes around with an original walkman from way back then, now that's a fashion statement.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report Reply

  • Cecelia,

    Okay, I give up on the nails. Maybe you have helped me unearth a deeply held 70s muddled up social conditioning of my own:)

    And there are always Crocs. They are comfortable (albeit a bit sweaty) and they took off like a fashion storm.

    Hibiscus Coast • Since Apr 2008 • 559 posts Report Reply

  • Craig Ranapia,

    Would you like your 15 - 16 year old daughter to dress like that?

    My theoretical teenage daughter would be leaving the house in a 'Future Porn Star' t-shirt over my dead body -- and (if I did my job right) she'd be entirely capable of making that happen. But I'd also like to think I'd mortgage my last functional organs to buy her the first of many hideously impractical ballgowns with matching insensible shoes, then shame her out by blubing about what a fairy princess she is.

    North Shore, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 12370 posts Report Reply

  • Isabel Hitchings,

    The general area of fashion and image is always going to be a little fraught. I think most people male and female enjoy, on occasion, playing with how they look and most people do feel better when they like the way they look. It's not good, however, when people feel they have to appear a particular way in order to be accepted, or taken seriously, or be attractive. There's also a huge grey area in between.

    I think (and I think I think this because Emma made me think about it) that the best policy is to totally and consciously leave off judging ANYONE about the choices they make about their appearance.

    (though if anyone wants to psychoanalyse why, for me, feeling confident involves a low-cut top and combat boots feel free to have at it)

    Christchurch • Since Jul 2007 • 719 posts Report Reply

  • Craig Ranapia,

    (though if anyone wants to psychoanalyse why, for me, feeling confident involves a low-cut top and combat boots feel free to have at it)

    Heh... and I wear my hair #1 short for practicality and comfort, but get rather hostile if anyone makes skinhead cracks. Dude, that's a semiotic swamp you don't want to be getting into.

    North Shore, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 12370 posts Report Reply

  • giovanni tiso,

    Heh... and I wear my hair #1 short for practicality and comfort,

    Er, me too. I swear! And if anybody makes baldness cracks, I cry.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report Reply

  • stephen walker,

    @Isabel:
    interesting. i have a very small theory as to why most Japanese teenage girls until recently wore their school uniform like they were about to walk onto a pr0n dvd set. power. i think that they believed that dressing like that gave them some power. over males. but from there, it all gets quite dodgy, quite quickly, a la violent manga...

    nagano • Since Nov 2006 • 646 posts Report Reply

  • stephen walker,

    you mean you're all not wistful 90s e-clubbing men?

    nagano • Since Nov 2006 • 646 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha,

    i was talking about adolescent women, specifically.

    Dude, you did read the stuff upthread? Positioning young women as perpetual victims in their relationships with media seems both inaccurate and unhelpful.

    Like most of us, they construct social identity more actively than you seem to believe.

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19745 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha,

    for practicality and comfort

    Same.

    wistful 90s clubbing men?

    Though that's also true..

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19745 posts Report Reply

  • Jackie Clark,

    Like most of us, they construct social identity more actively than you seem to believe.

    I'm not a great believer, Sacha, that little girls, in particular, are any smarter than they were when I was preadolescent. They are the ones that worry me.

    Mt Eden, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 3136 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha,

    if anyone wants to psychoanalyse why, for me, feeling confident involves a low-cut top and combat boots feel free to have at it

    Ahem, I believe the standard retort is that we'll require pictorial evidence first. :)

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19745 posts Report Reply

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