Up Front by Emma Hart

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Up Front: Does My Mortgage Look Like a Slag in This?

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  • Tess Rooney,

    I'm talking about harrassment, not a simple sexual overture which is then declined.

    Since May 2009 • 257 posts Report Reply

  • Isabel Hitchings,

    Actually I don't think there's a heck of a lot of difficulty determining what sort of attention is OK and which isn't (though some people will put up with idiots for longer than others). Generally remembering your manners and treating everyone you interact with as people with at least as much worth as yourself will see you right.

    Christchurch • Since Jul 2007 • 706 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    The assumption in this debate always seems to be that the recipient has made it clear in some way that the (or any) attention is unwanted and we all know that's often not the case. 'No means no' fer sure, but something has to happen to trigger the no.

    This is of course true, which is why I talked about 'persisting'. I'd also take from the article that the fact that the woman being described so lovingly used the word 'harassed' and was squawking at police, she wasn't talking about the kind of polite overture that's easily deflected. But that's an assumption.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4369 posts Report Reply

  • Robert Urquhart,

    Right, I wasn't trying to say that the specific example fell under the generalisation. Sorry for any misunderstanding.

    As long as we're all on the same page I can happily pop out for a couple of hours without worrying about finding my post under a pile of embers when I get back :D

    Christchurch • Since Mar 2009 • 142 posts Report Reply

  • Tim Michie,

    Damn weel said Emma. Thank you for erading The Listener so I don't have to manage raised blood pressure issues. I miss Diana Wichtel and Fiona's Stooges story still sticks in mind but otherwise I got no regrets on that score.

    Auckward • Since Nov 2006 • 566 posts Report Reply

  • Tim Michie,

    Meant reading not 'erading' of course but if that's a form of eradication The Listener is doing a good enough job of that themselves...

    Auckward • Since Nov 2006 • 566 posts Report Reply

  • Tim Michie,

    And well not 'weel'. Jeez - quit while you can tim.

    Auckward • Since Nov 2006 • 566 posts Report Reply

  • DeepRed,

    Is the Deafener attempting to exhume the Mazengarb Report? Somehow it brings to mind Sheik Hilaly's "uncovered meat" brain-fart.

    The southernmost capital … • Since Nov 2006 • 4355 posts Report Reply

  • Tess Rooney,

    After having four babies, I see my breasts as more of a utility thing, rather than sexual objects. Even now, with my boys getting older, my breasts are still a source of cuddles and comfort for them.

    Since May 2009 • 257 posts Report Reply

  • giovanni tiso,

    I miss Diana Wichtel and Fiona's Stooges story still sticks in mind but otherwise I got no regrets on that score.

    The other day I found myself being nostalgic for Steve Braunias. Then I figured that compared to Joanne Black even smallpox could elicit fond memories.

    Remember when turning to page 94 of The Listener used to give you smallpox? *Sigh*... those were the days.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7386 posts Report Reply

  • Tess Rooney,

    Well my mother has religiously bought every Listener since before I was born and I miss Bogor.

    Since May 2009 • 257 posts Report Reply

  • Robyn Gallagher,

    It's quite strange to think that the Listener used to something I enjoyed reading when I was young, but now that I'm a grown-up, it's no longer relevant to my interests.

    Raglan • Since Nov 2006 • 1863 posts Report Reply

  • ScottY,

    I still get the Listener. There is much dross, but still the occasional good bit. Although with columnists like Ralston and Black they probably need to rebrand to The Curmudgeon.

    Yorke of The Atatu • Since Feb 2009 • 790 posts Report Reply

  • JackElder,

    After having four babies, I see my breasts as more of a utility thing, rather than sexual objects.

    I have a similar outlook. These days, I now view my buttocks as more a convenient way to keep the small of my back from sliding into my thighs (and, in extremis, as a handy mechanism for dealing to walnuts), than a sexual object.

    Wellington • Since Mar 2008 • 708 posts Report Reply

  • Tess Rooney,

    Thanks for sharing about those walnuts Jack :)

    Since May 2009 • 257 posts Report Reply

  • giovanni tiso,

    Although with columnists like Ralston and Black they probably need to rebrand to The Curmudgeon.

    Now that Edwards has completed his transition into conservative commentator, I think he'd be ripe for inclusion. They need somebody else who'll just phone it in.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7386 posts Report Reply

  • James Butler,

    they probably need to rebrand to The Curmudgeon

    But there's already a magazine called North and Sou - oops, my bad.

    Auckland • Since Jan 2009 • 801 posts Report Reply

  • giovanni tiso,

    Plus he'd be sure to drive Emma around some sort of entertaining bend with his ideas about gay adoption.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7386 posts Report Reply

  • JackElder,

    Thanks for sharing about those walnuts Jack :)

    Cyclist, you see.

    Wellington • Since Mar 2008 • 708 posts Report Reply

  • Bart Janssen,

    as if they are Incapable! of Restraining! Themselves!

    Maybe we don't want to restrain ourselves?* maybe we don't care that allowing our reptilian brain to control our actions and words makes us less attractive. And why would we need to show any self control when if we do cross a line we can just blame it on the clothes she was wearing.

    The sad thing now though is that rather than stirring the desire to be obscene and rude to another person I mostly think "does she really think that makes her look good? Surely she knows that colour doesn't suit her..."

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 3420 posts Report Reply

  • Tess Rooney,

    You know, the other thing that bugs me is where you see the "ironic" women as sex objects adds. Like the Primo milk bouncing bikini women. When did it become okay to make women into objects for our own emancipation?

    Since May 2009 • 257 posts Report Reply

  • Bart Janssen,

    This is of course true, which is why I talked about 'persisting'.

    Of course walking and determining if the assets are fixed or floating is pretty much an offense the first time.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 3420 posts Report Reply

  • James Butler,

    When did it become okay to make women into objects for our own emancipation?

    Whenever the Tui "all-girl brewery" ads started, about 2-3 years ago I think.

    Auckland • Since Jan 2009 • 801 posts Report Reply

  • Judi Lapsley Miller,

    I finally bit the bullet and stopped my Listener sub a few months ago and.... have not missed it one bit. I knew the time had come when so many of the good columnists had gone that I was looking forward to Joanne Black.

    Best NZ mag out there these days? NZ Gardener. By far!

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 100 posts Report Reply

  • FletcherB,

    Of course walking and determining if the assets are fixed or floating is pretty much an offense the first time.

    determining if assets are fixed or floating via a visual estimation method may or may-not be acceptable, depending on various factors,

    confirmation by the braille method is nearly always off limits unless you already know the owner of the assets on a fairly intimate basis.

    West Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 794 posts Report Reply

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