Up Front by Emma Hart

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Up Front: Does My Mortgage Look Like a Slag in This?

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  • Megan Wegan,

    Should you require a utilitarian justification, I'm reliably informed that hi-rise stilettos provide a great boost when walking uphill.

    Really? I find the exact opposite.

    Megan, the shoes, layby.Layby incurs no financial interest, just anticipated joy interest.

    Oh, no, I can't do layby. I am of the MUST HAVE IT NOW generation, after all. Except, yeah, if I convince myself to buy them, I completely will.

    Welly • Since Jul 2008 • 1275 posts Report

  • Megan Wegan,

    hehehehe. When Emma comes along this morning and sees all this discussion of shoes, I'm gonna be in troooouble.

    Welly • Since Jul 2008 • 1275 posts Report

  • Rich Lock,

    Dangling things off your ears shows you have strong ears, an indispensible quality in a prospective mate. The ability to apply mascara, on the other hand, is an indicator that you obviously had the skill to become a thoracic surgeon, but could afford not to.

    Alright, you've got me on the ears (as it were). I've no blimmin' idea what errings are all about.

    Mascara: helps to define and emphasise by contrast the remainder of the eye - especially the white. Which is also a visual indicator of good health.

    My point is that all of these things started off as quite reasonable ways to increase attractiveness, but humanity (as it tends to do) takes the ball and runs off in entirely unexpected directions, so you end up with, for example, thigh-length PVC boots.

    back in the mother countr… • Since Feb 2007 • 2728 posts Report

  • Megan Wegan,

    Alright, you've got me on the ears (as it were). I've no blimmin' idea what errings are all about.

    I'm not sure if this is how wearing them started, but a pair of dangly earrings does drag the eye downwards, pointing at the cleavage.

    Welly • Since Jul 2008 • 1275 posts Report

  • giovanni tiso,

    I'm not sure if this is how wearing them started, but a pair of dangly earrings does drag the eye downwards, pointing at the cleavage.

    Yes, because men otherwise would have great difficulties locating a cleavage.

    I suppose that like any other kind of jewellery, earrings are superfluous, like them feathers on the pheasant, but let's not get down the evolutionary psycholy roaf at this time of the morning. It's a dreary old path.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report

  • giovanni tiso,

    psycholy roaf = psychology road - I was cleaning the post when suddenly it went off.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report

  • Danielle,

    I don't know, I think that was a rather wonderful slip: 'evolutionary psycholy roaf' makes about as much sense as evolutionary psychology...

    Charo World. Cuchi-cuchi!… • Since Nov 2006 • 3828 posts Report

  • Megan Wegan,

    psycholy roaf = psychology road - I was cleaning the post when suddenly it went off.

    That's what they all say.

    Welly • Since Jul 2008 • 1275 posts Report

  • ChrisW,

    erring's OK round 'ere

    Gisborne • Since Apr 2009 • 851 posts Report

  • giovanni tiso,

    I don't know, I think that was a rather wonderful slip: 'evolutionary psycholy roaf' makes about as much sense as evolutionary psychology...

    My brain obviously switched off just thinking about it.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report

  • giovanni tiso,

    Evolutionarypsych... oh, fuck it.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report

  • giovanni tiso,

    Also, so long as we're talking about clothing...

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report

  • James Francis,

    erring's OK round 'ere

    Particularly red errings.

    St John's, Newfoundland • Since Nov 2006 • 121 posts Report

  • Rich Lock,

    I should have erred on the side of caution.....

    back in the mother countr… • Since Feb 2007 • 2728 posts Report

  • Angus Robertson,

    Darn, she's onto us guys. Go to plan... what is it now? K?

    No worries mate, for any given subject if we wait a week chances are that someone will call it feminism.

    Auckland • Since May 2007 • 984 posts Report

  • Caleb D'Anvers,

    Personally, I think that the Listener should give up and just reprint stuff from old, trusted sources, like The New Zealand Evangelist (1848-50). This piece especially, from the 1 June 1850 issue, seems to resonate with the Listener's current ethos:

    Summer is now gone with all its beauty—its green fields, its clear skies, and its brilliant sunshine; and with all its exciting amusements—its rural sports, its regattas, and its races. Winter has again returned with all its gloom,—with its dull days and long nights,—with its faded scenery, its chill damps, its cold winds, and its drenching rains. There are few attractions without, and enjoyments must be sought within. And so it is. The votaries of pleasure are eagerly pursuing the most exciting of in-door amusements; from Government House to the lowest taverns, we have ball-rooms lighted up; youth, beauty, and fashion are giving animation to the halls of revelry; and nothing is heard but mirth and music, nothing is seen but dancing and merriment, from the noon of night to the dawn of morning.

    “But what harm is there in a ball?” it will be asked, “Is it not an innocent amusement? Dancing is not so bad as drinking. It often prevents drinking. Would you never let young people enjoy themselves?”

    We know that dancing is such a favourite amusement—one in which there is so much enjoyment—it is countenanced by so many respectable people—so much can be said in its favour—its decided opponents are so few—and the grounds on which it is condemned are sometimes so untenable—that we are well aware, we undertake a very unpopular task when we endeavour to show the evils of balls and dancing parties. It is, however, a common mistake to think that because there are some good things, or some defensible points, in this and kindred amusements, and because so many are passionately fond of them, they must therefore be in themselves harmless and innocent, and liable only to the ordinary abuses to which all good things are exposed. Satan is far too crafty to exhibit unmixed evil. He colours his poisoned pills, so as to deceive the eyes of the unreflecting, and they swallow them without suspicion!

    London SE16 • Since Mar 2008 • 482 posts Report

  • ChrisW,

    But the Listener article the subject of Emma's post is already well back in time - it acknowledges the source of one of its illustrations of the evils of drink with "Chart courtesy of Colonial Services, the Ministry of Justice and the Law Commission."

    And if they're reprinting old life in NZ stuff of that error for for the women in particular, how about this one from the Evening Post of 7 Jan 1909, "Women in Print" -

    The old-fashioned British breakfast is fast disappearing in English county houses. The women — who, like many of their sisters in other countries — never feel their best in the morning, and the men are keen to go fishing or shooting, and not at all inclined for gay badinage or chivalrous attentions, so that the majority of women guests at smart county houses have their breakfast served in their rooms, from whence they emerge, beautiful and in good humour, about lunch-time. Benson, in his “Bebe, B.A.," says: "There is something crude and raw about the air till lunchtime. It is necessary to get through the morning to arrive at the afternoon, but, by breakfasting late and lunching early, one could make it very short indeed.

    Gisborne • Since Apr 2009 • 851 posts Report

  • giovanni tiso,

    Somebody please breathe new life into the phrase "gay badinage".

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report

  • Megan Wegan,

    gay badinage

    Isn't that what we've been doing for 18 pages?

    Welly • Since Jul 2008 • 1275 posts Report

  • Rich Lock,

    gay badinage

    Normal people don't do that sort of thing, so they don't know the other meanings.

    back in the mother countr… • Since Feb 2007 • 2728 posts Report

  • Russell Brown,

    Satan is far too crafty to exhibit unmixed evil. He colours his poisoned pills, so as to deceive the eyes of the unreflecting, and they swallow them without suspicion!

    I'll have you know I looked up the Satans on pillreports.com before I swallowed them. My eyes did get quite deceived later on though.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22850 posts Report

  • Bart Janssen,

    Megan

    (Which is nothing on what I could spend if I had the money.

    Those are some seriously sexy shoes. More shoe porn please :).

    There's been lots of stuff done on why stilleto heels are sexy from changing calf muscle shape to changing the the way the bum moves. Whatever the biology is it works for me and I heartily encourage you to spend your dollars on them :).

    Jolisa talked about phases of fashion and I think some of it stems from our inherently tribal nature. Tribes or packs conform to reinforce the community bonds, so conforming to a fashion makes sense from the perspective of communicating to your friends that you are "part of the same pack". When fashion changes not changing with the fashion communicates that you are not of the same pack and so "last years jacket" looks wrong this year even though it looked right last year.

    What happens when your wear fashions from 10 years ago is that you communicate to the pack that you are older and more experienced and hence "wiser".

    Regarding the effect and role of advertising on fashions, I just read Pattern Recognition by William Gibson which is a interesting view of what advertising and trend setting might be like.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 4461 posts Report

  • Megan Wegan,

    What happens when your wear fashions from 10 years ago is that you communicate to the pack that you are older and more experienced and hence "wiser".

    Or that you are fashion forward, given how cyclical fashion is. The eighties are in again...shudder.

    And, just for you, my current obsession.

    Welly • Since Jul 2008 • 1275 posts Report

  • Emma Hart,

    Three pages about shoes! Is that what the Women's Movement was fighting for?

    What I really want to do is take this from Megan:

    I have a job and my own money, and therefore I can buy as many damn pairs of impractical shoes as my bank manager will let me. Because I have choices and options and if I choose to waste my money on frivolous things, well, no one can tell me to do anything different. And God help anyone who'd try.

    and drag it back out and cover it in kisses.

    Tribes or packs conform to reinforce the community bonds, so conforming to a fashion makes sense from the perspective of communicating to your friends that you are "part of the same pack".

    Which is true, I think, but having been a member of a tight pack with a very distinctive dress sense, even within the pack there are large variations on how much particular individuals choose to buy into the pack look, consciously or not. And maybe it's the individuals who feel most secure in their place in the pack who feel most comfortable not conforming, but I suspect there's also a huge dose of the personal level of bloody-mindedness in that. (This applies to both males and females - the KAOS look has elements of androgyny about it.)

    So Susan and I spend years being members of the same pack, and years later when we want to treat ourselves, she gets acryllic nails and I get tattoos. People make very different assumptions about us from an exterior view on the basis of those things, and those assumptions are less than correct.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report

  • Emma Hart,

    "There is something crude and raw about the air till lunchtime. It is necessary to get through the morning to arrive at the afternoon, but, by breakfasting late and lunching early, one could make it very short indeed.

    I'm 100% behind this.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report

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