Up Front by Emma Hart

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Up Front: Does My Mortgage Look Like a Slag in This?

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  • Sacha,

    disproportionate thread assessment

    I was thinking something more fashion oriented - like percale count.

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19745 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    Oh, and I think Emma would love the studded knee highs.

    I prefer the lace-up ones. Ginx is basically my current boot, only more so.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report Reply

  • Stewart,

    I'm amazed at the $69 price-tag, Megan. Even in $US that seems cheap (inexpensive, not slutty, as you knew). I can see the attraction; nice muted colour, satin fabic, great proportions and just so damned stylish.

    Emma, all the best for the hospital visit - is it an outpatient stylee visit or is it more 'residential'? (My circumlocutory way of asking if you are staying in overnight - apologies for verbosity.)

    Te Ika A Maui - Whakatane… • Since Oct 2008 • 577 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    is it an outpatient stylee visit or is it more 'residential'?

    Yeah, it's a week inside for brain surgery. I really must get that column written.

    It does kind of tie in, though. It's going to involve shaving a large portion of my skull, and I was surprised at how much the idea of having no hair upsets me. I've never worried much about my weight or wearing glasses or whether my clothes were trendy, but being bald? Yeah.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report Reply

  • Megan Wegan,

    I'm amazed at the $69 price-tag, Megan.

    You know, I didn't even look at that. Mine were, ahem, somewhat more expensive. But thanks!

    Welly • Since Jul 2008 • 1275 posts Report Reply

  • Danielle,

    if we're not careful, rapists are the new terrorosts which we should all hide from

    So, let me get this straight. You're advocating that women 'act appropriately' (where 'appropriately' is yet to be defined) so they don't bear any 'responsibility' for being raped. I am most confused about how this is all going to pan out. Where on my chest is my top's neckline allowed to be before I bear responsibility for my attack? How long must my skirt be? How low should my heels be? What percentage of responsibility do I bear if my heels are higher than, say, 2cm? If I never leave the house again and wear retro Victorian garb, do I win a special prize for being modest enough?

    You see how fucking stupid your argument is, right? If every woman acted demurely and never showed a single ankle, they would still be raped and harassed. It's not 'brave' to say what you're saying. It's not 'common sense'. It's the same tired old shit we've heard for centuries: putting responsibility for crime on women, because you think we're somehow in charge of policing people with penises.

    (Also, team, I have bingo - the centre square was 'what feminists need to do is... [without actually knowing diddly about feminism]'. I hope I win a bottle of something alcoholic as a prize, which I can drink irresponsibly in public while wearing a low-cut top and high heels.)

    Charo World. Cuchi-cuchi!… • Since Nov 2006 • 3828 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha,

    outpatient stylee

    Well that postitively reframes some memories for me. Thanks.

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19745 posts Report Reply

  • Joe Wylie,

    Somebody please breathe new life into the phrase "gay badinage".

    Dunno about gay, but I did once see badinage defined as 'a dirty old man'.

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 4593 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha,

    Where on my chest is my top's neckline allowed to be before I bear responsibility for my attack? How long must my skirt be? How low should my heels be? What percentage of responsibility do I bear if my heels are higher than, say, 2cm? If I never leave the house again and wear retro Victorian garb, do I win a special prize for being modest enough?

    I believe sharia law may have some of the answers.

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19745 posts Report Reply

  • Stephen Judd,

    How can a Trekkie not think of Persis Khambatta in this situation?

    Best of luck, follicular and otherwise.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 3122 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    I hope I win a bottle of something alcoholic as a prize, which I can drink irresponsibly in public while wearing a low-cut top and high heels.)

    I believe Megan and I have the event for you...

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha,

    gay badinage

    I get a mincing badger troupe for some reason. Kind of Hero parade crossed with the wombles. <ducks>

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19745 posts Report Reply

  • Joe Wylie,

    I'll have you know I looked up the Satans on pillreports.com before I swallowed them. My eyes did get quite deceived later on though.

    If they're called Satans then they're probably suppositories, as in 'Get thee behind me, Satan'.

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 4593 posts Report Reply

  • Sofie Bribiesca,

    But I don't honestly believe the reality is that women in most parts of New Zealand need to don a burka

    Why? Does my bomb look big in this backpack?;)

    here and there. • Since Nov 2007 • 6796 posts Report Reply

  • Ian Dalziel,

    Physician heel thyself...
    covering the legends
    the sole of discretion
    with the upper hand
    famous last words?
    or a load of cobblers?

    Shoes as a metaphor...
    where the metaphor met the floor
    walk a mile - or wait
    for the other one to drop...
    those Kennedys were no Loafers
    like some of the Brogans
    and Flip-flops out there
    they walked the talk
    yet were shod by both sides...

    yrs Low Sparkily
    High Heeled Boy
    ne sutor ultra crepidam.

    PS: Foot in Mouth award goes to:

    In these circumstanmces, it's ridiculous (and naive) to say the victim bears absolutely no responsibility.

    Christchurch • Since Dec 2006 • 7953 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha,

    Get thee behind me

    rofflenui

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19745 posts Report Reply

  • Megan Wegan,

    I hope I win a bottle of something alcoholic as a prize, which I can drink irresponsibly in public while wearing a low-cut top and high heels.)

    I believe Megan and I have the event for you...

    Could we add falling down to that list? And giggling and screeching? Isn't that what women do when out on the town?

    Welly • Since Jul 2008 • 1275 posts Report Reply

  • Sam F,

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 1611 posts Report Reply

  • Ian Dalziel,

    Mothers little helper...

    If they're called Satans then they're probably suppositories, as in 'Get thee behind me, Satan'.

    ...with friends like this who needs enemas?

    You sure they weren't Santas?
    They give you presents of mind...
    ...he said ingest

    yrs digitally
    Hemi Royds
    pun recycling dept

    Christchurch • Since Dec 2006 • 7953 posts Report Reply

  • AndrewH,

    Oh, FFS, this is pointless. Now that we're all in agreement about the descent of the Listener and the root cause of the problems with the world, let's return to a discussion of footwear.

    Footwear - 1. Debate - 0.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2008 • 33 posts Report Reply

  • Sam F,

    Good of you to bring the discussion to heel...

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 1611 posts Report Reply

  • Sofie Bribiesca,

    Footwear - 1. Debate - 0.

    Par for the course. :)

    I'll get my cloak and dagger.

    here and there. • Since Nov 2007 • 6796 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha,

    Debate about footwear 1?

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19745 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha,

    A Jimmy Choo is worth a thousand words?

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19745 posts Report Reply

  • JackElder,

    Yes, this debate about shoes is pointless and distracting.

    Emma - what's this new tattoo you've got booked? We knew you wouldn't be able to resist the siren lure of the needles for long.

    Wellington • Since Mar 2008 • 709 posts Report Reply

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