This was so touching I slept with two of them.)

You touched them back. Nice!

The basic premise is that romantic fiction creates a sense of false expectations that damages women's ability to form good relationships

Couple this with the premise that porn does the same for men... and we're doomed I tell you, DOOMED!

Couple this with the premise that porn does the same for men... and we're doomed I tell you, DOOMED!

Oh, give the man the subtext-spotting pony! And yes, my entire argument still applies.

What do you mean, Colin Firth or Hugh Grant?

That's what we like to see: outside the?

Self-service library issuing was spontaneously mentioned more than once.

This may reassure some of the romance readers out there: librarians, particularly in big branches, never, ever look at the books they're issuing to you. They don't care in the slightest what you're reading, and moreover are (mostly) trained not to?

When I was single I used to use the day to give out anonymous cards and gifts to women I was attracted to.

I once sent an anonymous valentine to a friend working as a geologist in the field somewhere remote in the West Coast. "Roses are red, violets are?

With only one exception, respondents said they started reading romance novels at twelve or thirteen. This seems to be an age when girls are having first crushes, first boyfriends, and are quite emotionally impressionable. Georgette Heyer was very popular...

The funny thing is, at least to my eye, Heyer takes?

"Roses are red, violets are blue, I'd sever my leg, for an evening with you".

Maybe if I'd written messages like that my plans would have had more success.

Once, when we were at varsity, a mate and I spent the night of Feb 13th walking across most of central Wellington distributing anonymous Valentines presents to a dozen or so of our friends. Chocolates, jars of?

Maybe if I'd written messages like that my plans would have had more success.

Didn't enhance my sex/love life all that much :)

I was once sent strawberries & champagne anonymously, with a very promising note...

...by the time I found out who it came from (very attractive woman of my?

So why don't we all resolve to give an anonymous?

(The second most romantic thing was a trio of men waking me on Valentine's morning by singing 'Do You Want to Know a Secret' outside my bedroom window. This was so touching I slept with two of them.)

What, was the third one out of tune?

Me, I struggle with 'Mal or Inara'.

I bet you do (boom boom). But seriously, the answer's Kaylee right?

And let's face it, who doesn't want an anonymous card that professes undying love (or at least the fact that someone finds you attractive).

I'd prefer the latter over the former, which sounds rather stalkerish and quite a lot of work.

I bet you do (boom boom). But seriously, the answer's Kaylee right?

Kaylee's sweet. So no. She's just too nice for me.

What, was the third one out of tune?

Nah, he was just too nice for me. The whole thing was his idea.

The second most romantic thing was a trio of men waking me on Valentine's morning by singing 'Do You Want to Know a Secret' outside my bedroom window. This was so touching I slept with two of them.

Now why did I read that as "trio of naked men..."?

And?

I bet you do (boom boom). But seriously, the answer's Kaylee right?

Kaylee's sweet. So no. She's just too nice for me.

Until you remember the scene where Mal meets her, or the "twixt" line from the movie.

As for secret admirer lines: a friend at our uni hostel, during?

Also re romances, I have only started reading them in the last few years and I prefer the vampire/shapeshifter/exotic fantasy ones. Def slightly embarassed to be reading?

Until you remember the scene where Mal meets her, or the "twixt" line from the movie.

Being a bit slutty does not at all stop her from being nice.

during "secret admirer week"

This just sounds like 'stalking is okay' week.

A guy once discreetly slipped me his phone number?

So why don't we all resolve to give an anonymous gift to someone this year, just to make their day that little bit more magical?

OK, but my girlfriend is going to be pissed if she finds out.

What about Daniel Craig and that Welsh Eoin Whathisname from all those BBC sailing dramas?

Ioan Gruffudd – what odds that he was born Ian Griffith?

meh, that's probably mean of me to say that.

But hey, are he & Craig a couple?

So why don't we all resolve to give an anonymous gift to someone this year, just to make their day that little bit more magical?

Put me down for Elle MacPherson, if you're going to send me anything anonymously, it may as well be something I'd like.

What about Daniel Craig and that Welsh Eoin Whathisname from all those BBC sailing dramas?

Gruffudd. Not that I knew who you meant right away, of course.

Daniel Craig is a bit blond.

Def not Hugh or Colin.

Spike or Angel? (Of course we were going there, it was only?

Put me down for Elle MacPherson

Okay. On Elle's behalf, you're ugly and your mother dresses you funny.

just too nice for me ... just too nice for me

So, maybe some of the "brooding bad boy" stereotype from the romance novels did rub off on you then? I suppose that if said novels portray men as arrogant, emotionally unavailable cads then they may indeed play a valuable?

So, maybe some of the "brooding bad boy" stereotype from the romance novels did rub off on you then?

An interesting theory with just one or two tiny flaws.

I'm not a big romance novel reader. If any genre was going to influence me, it should have been scifi.

I?

So why don't we all resolve to give an anonymous gift to someone this year, just to make their day that little bit more magical?

The most romantic thing that has happened to me in the past couple of years, was a random stranger in the cafeteria of the Bluebridge?

Of course, I'm the girl who once kicked an ex for saying, after I lamented that no one would ever create great art for me said "That James Blunt guy wrote a song for you". Vomit.

Oh blarf. You know who wrote a song 'for' me? The Sisters of Mercy.

Same here. Even more?

Okay. On Elle's behalf, you're ugly and your mother dresses you funny.

I love it when Elle talks trash to me

omg, everyone hated that album when it came out (you would have been 14?) because the production was crap and their previous 12" singles had been so much better. but i thought it was ok. used to listen to it quite a bit. amphetimine logic is a good track,?

Has anyone carried out any research on exactly how that's possible?

I've always thought there was a PhD topic in "cultural representations of Germans and Japanese in Commando Comics". Winners of wars not only get to write the history books, but the comics that kids grow up reading.

I wonder?

I mean, does the Darcy thing 'work' for me? Yep. Would I want to live with the guy afterwards? Good gods no.

Of course. I just hope you're the "Know who to shag and who to marry" type of woman, rather than the "Fall in love with a bad boy,?

You know who wrote a song for me?

You know who wrote a song for me?

No-one, that's who.

Not that I'm bitter.

(one of my friends even bought a drum machine the same as they used on that album: DR-55)

Doctor Avalanche!

(you would have been 14?)

Man... I was thirteen when First and Last and Always came out. I didn't hear any Sisters until 1990 though, so I started with Floodland.?

So why don't we all resolve to give an anonymous gift to someone this year, just to make their day that little bit more magical?

Does marking my mother's birhday by sticking a few more pins in her voodoo doll count?

I forgot to mention before that in 12 years Amy and I have never done anything for Valentine's Day. And only partly because it's my birthday two days later.

This year, I will be at a wedding. In Ashburton. If I'm the only single, cynical woman there, there could be?

I forgot to mention before that in 12 years Amy and I have never done anything for Valentine's Day. And only partly because it's my birthday two days later.

In fifteen years, my partner and I have never done anything for Valentine's Day. He says all the pink cherubs appear?

Which would be today.

We kind of got carried away at the kid's school's fundraising auction last year and ended up with a voucher for the French Cafe...I think I'll be late in?

librarians, particularly in big branches, never, ever look at the books they're issuing to you. They don't care in the slightest what you're reading, and moreover are (mostly) trained not to comment without you saying something first

Ummm – this is not necessarily true... Ok, probably we never said anything?

Okay. On Elle's behalf, you're ugly and your mother dresses you funny.

Hah!

In fifteen years, my partner and I have never done anything for Valentine's Day. He says all the pink cherubs appear in the shops to remind him that it's my birthday three days later.

Have we done the "snap" on the birthday timing yet?

Have we done the "snap" on the birthday timing yet?

Our anniversary: the 15th.
My birthday: the 20th.
St. Valentine's Day: what is that?

Have we done the "snap" on the birthday timing yet?

I think so, at Russell's. I knew about you, anyway. I may have been super-discreet, but that doesn't sound like me.

I sent it, with a note saying that we didn't go much for Valentines Day in NZ, or if we did I'd?

Best/most romantic thing that ever happened to me on Valentine's Day was being given a?

Ummm – this is not necessarily true... Ok, probably we never said anything offensive to the person in question, but there were certainly giggles afterwards...

Sayana, jeez. I'm trying to make the romance-novel-readers feel better! You: not helping. :)

We're seeing David Byrne on Valentine's Day. I don't think this?

Tina Weymouth ringing people up in the middle of the night to cast aspersions on the size of Byrne's penis.

So that's why he went around in that huge, inflated suit...

We're seeing David Byrne on Valentine's Day. I don't think this is particularly romantic.

The thought of singing along with Psycho Killer doesn't fill your heart with love?

Sayana, jeez. I'm trying to make the romance-novel- readers feel better! You: not helping. :)

Don't worry Danielle. My mum's a librarian, and from what I've heard, people take out much funnier/stranger/disturbing books than romance novels.

We're seeing David Byrne on Valentine's Day. I don't think this is particularly romantic.

I spent Valentine's Day 2004 seeing David Bowie. It was very romantic in a letting long suppressed teenage fantasies run free kind of way.

Our anniversary: the 15th.
My birthday: the 20th.
St. Valentine's Day: what is that?

For us, it's:

My birthday: 4th
His birthday: 13th
Valentine's Day: 14th
Our anniversary: 17th

We've never done anything for Valentine's, but there's quite enough celebration exhaustion with the rest of it.

I giggled. Like a smutty little girl.

I was going to talk about romance book covers but I sort of ran out of?

My birthday: 4th
His birthday: 13th
Valentine's Day: 14th
Our anniversary: 17th

This year, Valentine's Day is my brother's 50th birthday. Which I guess must have been a nice Valentine's present for his parents, a first-born son.

This may not be such a great audience for my Aquarius joke, but.?

a montage of Mills and Boon covers through the ages

Romance Goes Tenting . With a clown. The mind boggles.

Romance Goes Tenting. With a clown. The mind boggles.

A jealous clown. And that is a tent-pole in his pocket.

Not to mention, Ronald Cocking? Yowza.

a montage of Mills and Boon covers through the ages

I love the cover of the 1924 book "Jungle Love: A tropical tangle", with a native in an enticing loin cloth standing over a white lady who is either dead, unconscious, or preparing herself to be ravaged by his dark?

Spike or Angel? (Of course we were going there, it was only a matter of time.)

Definitely Spike. Definitely. And Daniel Craig for sure if we didn't share a last name which I think I would find slightly off-putting.

Found this morning at the Guardian (while I was reading an archived article on L'Histoire d'O, coincidentally) a montage of Mills and Boon covers through the ages.

Once up a time, I would have been shocked by that juxtaposition. Where is my mind?

A public library I used to frequent marked all their risque books with a purple spot and kept the very risque ones in the stack room and borrowers had to ask for them.

At 16, I got the Karma Sutra out of the Wellington Public Library. That was held in?

Once up a time, I would have been shocked by that juxtaposition. Where is my mind?

So by the time I do get started on the BDSM columns, you should be well beaten down?

Spike or Angel? (Of course we were going there, it was only a matter of time.)

Oh, God, how long would it take for all that brooding and hair-product to get tired? No sex is that good. Never.

Willow — non-skanky, non-evil, and definitely not Mirror Universe vampire Willow. She?

Do we need to start cross-referencing February birthdays and tech writers yet?

My father, mother, sister, and one set of grandparents were all born in February. I was born in October. They were all conceived in the Southern hemisphere, me in the North. The only thing I can think of?

So by the time I do get started on the BDSM columns, you should be well beaten down?

At my age, and in this condition, BDSM (or any other fetish) sounds too much like an effort. I could be a human Ottoman, if you were willing to spring for the?

Oh, God, how long would it take for all that brooding and hair-product to get tired? No sex is that good. Never.

Oh goody, and excuse to post this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_G9ugMJL5A8

Personally, I think we should celebrate Saint Sebastian's day on the 20th January instead. Instead of giving flowers, we'd all go get pierced.

Ohhh, that's brilliant.

I was born in October. They were all conceived in the Southern hemisphere, me in the North. The only thing I can think of is that there really wasn't much to do in NZ in May in those days...

Maybe early June. Queens Birthday Weekend. Long weekend, cold weather....

Personally, I think we should celebrate Saint Sebastian's day on the 20th January instead. Instead of giving flowers, we'd all go get pierced.

Super classy.

I tip my hat to you, sir.

I think we should celebrate Saint Sebastian's day on the 20th January instead. Instead of giving flowers, we'd all go get pierced.

Nah.

A darts tournament

Definitely. And Daniel Craig for sure if we didn't share a last name which I think I would find slightly off-putting.

Lots of married people find it off-putting too. :)

Not that big of a coincidence, I guess, but still...

Emma, this Valentines Day is also my brother's 50th birthday and yet I am not you. And you are not my sister... or are you?

Spooky, possums. I guess, "Stewart", I have no objective way of knowing if you're one of my other brothers or not. You'd know if I?

And I agree, I would know if you were my sister.

Put me down for Elle MacPherson

Okay. On Elle's behalf, you're ugly and your mother dresses you funny.

Hah – Emma, this could have been a sample conversation from a family Sunday roast. Pwned.

I just have to add my $3.50 worth (inflation doncha know)

Hugh Grant for steamy affair but Colin Firth for love and marriage. Hugh is definitely cuter but has that tendency to do?

I spent Valentine's Day 2004 seeing David Bowie. It was very romantic in a letting long suppressed teenage fantasies run free kind of way.

Hey, was that the day it rained as if all the clouds in sky opened at once, it was freezing cold (for February) and he DIDN'T?

Best/most romantic thing that ever happened to me on Valentine's Day was being given a slingshot.

Oh, and, Colin Firth.

You got a slingshot AND Colin Firth or V Day? Sounds like a good day to me.

(My unplayed song desire was 'Station to Station', but I can see why he didn't want to get all 10-minute-prog-disco-epic.)

humiliating leather hot pants

I have never heard that item rendered unsexier in prose. A triumph, sir.

But what does "Grace before meat" mean! The mind boggles.

Indeed. If the heroine's name is Grace, I'm really disturbed.

Emma – was that with two of the three guys at the same time? Just checking.

I shall cough, shift in my seat, and mutter something unintelligible.

Grace before meat

A finishing school for girls came to mind, for no particular reason.

Grace before meat

The cover shows a woman, presumably Grace, with some guy standing immediately behind her, who is then, presumably, the other referent.
Otherwise: wot Sacha said.

I cannot but think of the third guy, alone on the street, singing "I, who have nothing."

The thought of an instant invitation to 'come on up' being delivered to only two out of three serenaders seems too cruel...please Emma, tell me it is too cruel.

Though, two guys leaving?

I cannot but think of the third guy, alone on the street, singing "I, who have nothing."

Or, as tears roll down his cheeks, "two out of three ain't bad"...

Hugh is definitely cuter but has that tendency to do it with ho's in public.

C'mon Dinah, you bang (ahem) in one nail, no one calls you a builder. But you do it with one ho in public and forever more you're known as... :-)

I'm suprised that people approach Meatloaf, full stop.

Actually, I find it quite believable that someone who'd actually walk down the aisle to that song would just run up to Meatloaf on the street and tell him they'd done so.

On my several years working on the circulation desk at the public library, we got endless entertainment out of the poor, nervous, sweaty bastards getting out 'The Joy of Sex' etc... So if you've ever been down to your local video?

Nevertheless, romance reading still comes with a high degree of stigma attached.

Of course, back when we were teenages science fiction reading did too. It was a slightly wierd geeky thing that the wierd geeks read.

I'm still coming to terms with the fact that spending lots of time on?

and bonking people that you mostly romanced over a computer network,

I must say, that sounds very uncomfortable.

The thought of an instant invitation to 'come on up' being delivered to only two out of three serenaders seems too cruel...please Emma, tell me it is too cruel.

Indeed, it wasn't straight away . I dated first one of them, and then the second one (and Reader, I married?

bonking people that you mostly romanced over a computer network

Back when there was a bit more stigma attached, I learned to say happily "We met the old-fashioned way – on the Internet!" Somehow that dispersed the opprobrium.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orions

Mind you, I first read that as Green Onion Slave Girl.

Hey, no offense meant. Of course the true explanation is (relatively) innocent, but the image of the third wheel left standing in the street was just so entertaining... :)

Oh, none taken, it was supposed to be entertaining. That's what my past is for, making people laugh.

Of course, back?

I must say, that sounds very uncomfortable.

You ever seen an IBM Blade Centre on startup? Make a vibrating bed look like a futon...

I was Susan Oliver

Actually, it was Susan Oliver I was mmming about, now you mention it, but my memory did not totally deceive me, Yvonne Craig was a green onion too.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orions#Females

Green Orion Slave Girl? Dare I ask?

I'm shaking my head sadly over here. ;) It's from 'The Cage'! The only two-parter! That revamped pilot episode! With Vina! And Captain Pike!

Met my husband on the internet: check.

Can name particular Star Trek episodes based on alien characters contained therein:?

That's what my past is for, making people laugh.

Point taken. Sorry again :(

I'm shaking my head sadly over here. ;) It's from 'The Cage'! The only two-parter! That revamped pilot episode! With Vina! And Captain Pike!

Fortunately, I have no idea what any of?

I read it as Green Onion as well; something to do with Booker T and the MGs, I thought.

I'm shaking my head sadly over here. ;) It's from 'The Cage'! The only two-parter! That revamped pilot episode! With Vina! And Captain Pike!

Fortunately, I?

Green Onion Slave Girl

She's the one press-ganged into serving the dip n chips at the party, right?

overlap

Dare I ask..

Sam, I think she means it.

I do! I do! Smiley face!

I read it as Green Onion as well; something to do with Booker T and the MGs, I thought.

Actually, that episode could have been improved by some Booker T and the MGs. Then again, so could most things.

See? It's not easy being green. Apparently.

For a start, you wake up in the morning and the only remaining body paint is on your eyelids.

I'll bet someone thought you were 'Mrs. Hulk'.

It was a party thrown by the UC Science-fiction club. The allusion was well-recognised. Also I?

I won the previously non-existent 'sluttiest costume' prize.

aw they made a prize specially for you, isn't that sweet.

But now I'm wondering what did the trophy look like?

For a start, you wake up in the morning and the only remaining body paint is on your eyelids.

Green before meat
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I'll get my coat.

Green before meat
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I'll get my coat.

Oh you!

But now I'm wondering what did the trophy look like?

Sorry to disappoint, it was a pair of stick-on Spock ears.

Interestingly, the word "slut" appears at PAS all of 45 times (now 46). I have no idea how many of those occurences are the inspiration or efforts of Emma.?

It's 'nigger' territory, basically.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure you're not allowed to use that word though. Not even for the purposes of academic comparison.

There's an Italian slur, terrone, which means bloody southerner. I can use it when referring to myself but you'd better not.

I've always operated on a policy, when retelling my life history, to exaggerate slightly (or a lot).

We all mythologise our past, right? With me it's more a matter of not mentioning the down side, so that I look appropriately heartless and shallow.

Emma- Umm, I'm just intrigued – I know who two of the three were, but was number 3 who I think it was?

I have no idea, who do you think it was?

I have no idea, who do you think it was?

...__drumroll__...

Never mind who No.3 was, I'm with No.6 & seek the identity of No.1!!

They weren't the Bee Gees, by any chance, were they?

OMG, my brain.

How long d'you think you'd still be spitting out hair after that?

Interestingly, the word "slut" appears at PAS all of 45 times (now 46). I have no idea how many of those occurences are the inspiration or efforts of Emma. :)

I've been trying to work out how to feel about that. I've also been trying unsuccessfully to find the fabulous?

Alas, their mission is not as cheerful as their name suggests.

http://www.boingboing.net/2009/02/12/star-trek-inspired-c.html

Would this be an opportunity to mention the Consortium of Pubgoing, Loose and Forward Women?

Indeed it would. Thank you, Stephen.

only and always by women in the offensive sense

Well that's because for guys, slut is only derogatory in the sense of

"why won't she be slutty with me?"

In all other cases it's a good thing :).

has anyone ever been to a singles bar in the US (or anywhere else for that matter). And, if so, how does it differ from, say, going down the Loaded Hog on a Friday night and trying to score?

Way late here but I have a moment.....I visited a bar?

A public library I used to frequent marked all their risque books with a purple spot

When I was about 12, I picked out what I thought was a romance novel from under my parents bed( hey, I found A Clockwork Orange under there) and "The Story of O" was?

I'm sorry, did you just use the term 'boff'? is that onomatopoeia?

I did, and I hadn't thought about that. It's a wonderfully evocative word, and I don't know where it comes from except that it appears to be British – my US friends don't recognise it, but I've seen?

The consensus was that we could but we shouldn't

Spoilsports, the both of you. :)