You know what? There's a business model for the new economy right there.

I think this is common enough – it's probably the root cause of all armed conflict.

That is a really interesting question, and given it's about?

Completely. One of the things currently exercising the Women of Wellington is this delightful story in the Dom Post. (Deborah's excellent analysis of why it's problematic here, so we don't have to litigate it all?

Absolutely. And I'm now considering the idea that the job of active moderation is to shift the balance of power. So a 'safe space' is safe for the people who (actively, as a community) make it. A sex-pos feminist?

Hence the need for an Internet Face-Punching Service. People's risk-assessment abilities would improve quite quickly methinks.

That must have been very hard indeed. I'm curious whether you ended up with a man or a woman?

*knockknockknock*

"Hello?"

"Yeah, hi, are you 'libman496nz?"

"Um, yeah..."

"And did you say, 'Not that it's her fault or anything but she made the decision to be out alone at 2am, and she was probably drunk and dressed like a slag, I'm?

A woman. I don't know that it would have made all that much difference. She was not... hugely comfortable or supportive, but she wasn't actively obstructive, either.

In the US, where communities are bigger by dint of sheer?

There is a very interesting book by Gerald Wilde called Target Risk, which talks about this at length and calls it 'risk homeostasis'. Amongst a number of examples it presents a study where half a?

That's kind of the thing I was getting at. Rather than Megan's point about not daring to enter the stuff comments, a sentiment clearly based on intelligence rather than fear, but instead suggesting that a person might naturally adopt set level of risk regardless of the absolute level?

"So I was at my knitting circle yesterday..."

The exception? Sometimes, feminist blog discussions. That's the only time where I can be interested in the discussion, feel I have something to?

People tell me they're anxious about looking stupid, or at least insufficiently clever.

It's actually a bit of a pain for me, because the people who say this are perfectly clever. They're just over-thinking it.

You get used to it, trust me.

It's actually why I love Emma's blog so much – I feel stupider here than most places. That sounds odd but when you say something stupid here you usually learn something and you generally don't get abused in the?

Say (and this is an entirely hypothetical situation for me) I need treatment for injuries sustained in a BDSM session. Shouldn't happen in the normal course of things, but even with the best of intentions, things go?

Dont't forget the ones who say "But I don't listen to any of that hipster music. They'll judge me." To which I replied "I don't like the Pixies, actually". Then Sacha said "Them's fighting words!"?

You get used to it, trust me.

I'm on the opposite trajectory, personally. Initially thick skin, but not so much any more. This has almost linearly tracked my fall from comfortably ignorant privilege.

Well, there was a stab-in-the-face device suggested at Bash.org a long time ago.

and over-estimating how 'clever' the rest of us actually are :)

Pah, they should come drinking with us. Then we're all Brilliant!

A colleague a few (not too many) years back went to a GP in a NZ provincial town for a medical. In the course of this he admitted recreational drug use. The GP 'failed' him the medical?

IANAL and IANAME (I am not a medical ethicist – doubt that'll catch on), but I'd say that if not against the law, it's certainly a massively strikeoffable offence.

I guess being forced into having a GP that goes?

Which I don't understand, because everyone except the most wretched excrement-craniums is more than sufficiently clever about a whole bunch of somethings I'm blissfully ignorant about. Yes, PAS can get a wee bit angst-ridden on occasion, but?

For instance the problem Emma related with doctors assuming any bruises on a woman are evidence of abuse, it?s incredibly obvious in hindsight, but didn?t occur to me until she said it.

But then hearing?

And that is the problem of course. How can a GP be certain that Emma is not being abused and so cowed by her abuser that she makes up a story about being a sub.

Realistically given the?

And there are those who believe that subs don't exist, and that no-one could consent to being hurt. Bruises from other recreational?

Bless you Morgan, you've pretty much summed up why I do what I do.

And there are those?

It's traditional to come up with a humorous cover story. Vacuuming naked, kitten loose in the house somewhere, had to fix TV after getting out of shower, went for a bike?

Correct if I'm wrong, but I believe that might be the first time in forever that anyone has said "Bless you Morgan" when it wasn't about a sneeze ;-)

These are all words I have had to look up after reading one of your posts, Emma. Well, I didn?t need to look up sub, because I know what a sub-editor does but it hardly ever involves physical injury. So in this context?

a yellow one

There is a GP in my family – extremely worldly,experienced(nearly 25 years hard yakka here & overseas) & highly esteemed by clients. If you?

This makes me really sad. Because you _do_ have something to contribute. It's one of my immense frustrations with any number?

...but as soon as you mix up **sex?

Billy Connolly has a great one about trying to kill a spider..

Good to know you're getting your exorcize. A sedentary lifestyle can be pure hell.

To be fair, it's not a shut-out; more my own?

Yeah, but to be fair I'd probably be on a hair-trigger after yet another round of men driving by a feminist blog to tell the feeble little lady-brains to?

Which if you are trying to cultivate a?

Russell and I have had a *cough* free and frank exchange of views on that turn of phrase. I'm in the process of replacing it with "Shut the fuck up, and genuinely listen rather?

I'm all for telling people...

I'm also all for being told ...

I know full well I can get patronising/lecturing/domineering, especially when I think I have something important to say.

Having folks around who can tell you to pull your head in is helpful.

Which in itself is a form of privilege (and plain old-fashioned bullying), that needs to be owned and avoided. :)

I know full well I can get patronising/lecturing/domineering, especially when I think I have something important to?

I am most admiring at the way men get told on this site when necessary. It's good.

Also, as Craig has demonstrated above, people don't hear clichés. If you?

Ouch, but justified. :)

On the second hand, we have a persistent commenter?

Russell and I have had a *cough* free and frank exchange of views on that turn of phrase. I'm in the process of replacing it with "Shut the fuck up, and genuinely listen rather than waiting for your turn to?

I'll make the point I made earlier. Mostly because it's a point I have taken so very long to understand myself.

There are people for whom having their ideas described as silly is a much worse insult than?

Ah, yes. We have had the odd one of them ...

And on the gripping hand, there?s the bizarro?

Do you reckon that might apply more to men than women?

I give up! :-) I'll go back to rewriting my tax course now....

Sorry, angst/insecurity projection there. What a pretty slip, Doctor Freud, can I get it in peach? :)

On the second hand, we have a persistent commenter at The Lady Garden who frequently turns up to make picky points or ask leading questions

Oh, I call?

I am deeply sorry for causing you to have to go back to writing such a document.

On the other hand, men?

Did you see the Germaine Greer glitterbombing? I have very mixed feelings about that.

Which does not appear to have given Greer the ability to recognise her own privilege, nor does it seem to get in the way of her being?

Mph, yeah, me too. Especially after I saw the photos. Obviously I have issues with Greer, too, but this? Just didn't seem right.

I'd be a little more sympathetic if they weren't quite so keen to dish out the same treatment to trans-women and sex-workers. Who, with all due respect, are a damn?

So, in 1996 Greer didn't oppose the election of trans physicist Rachael Padman as a fellow of Newnham College?

Padman herself has a slightly different recollection.

And to?

Nowadays we are all likely to meet people who think they are women, have women's names, and feminine clothes and lots of eyeshadow, who seem to us to be some kind of ghastly parody, though it isn't polite to say so. We pretend that all the people passing?

Speaking of, did you ever get anything useful from the OIA requests? (I definitely didn't, just a collection of waffle about the?

"Useful", no – not in the sense of 'material strong enough to justify doing the Ubangi stomp on the Council's arse, Public Address style". (Am I getting temperate and responsible in my old age?) Interesting reading though. :)

?Shut the fuck up, and genuinely listen rather than waiting for your turn to speak. You really really need to internalize some complicated stuff. I know it?s outside your comfort zone, but deal. Then choose your next words with care and empathy.?

Could I crowdsource a snappy acronym for all?

Too Short: Didn't Understand.

I disagree. The pugilism simply becomes psychological. (assuming you are a regular member of the virtual community)

For those who flit in and out of online forums, their?