Up Front by Emma Hart

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Up Front: Sex with Parrots

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  • James Butler, in reply to Moz,

    So when people ask, I just say “it’s complicated” and leave it at that.

    Ah, I always wondered what that meant. Some of my Facebook friends just became much more interesting.

    Auckland • Since Jan 2009 • 801 posts Report Reply

  • Moz, in reply to Lucy Stewart,

    Blake is gender-ambiguous? Logan? Ryan?

    Yes. It also runs the other way. Seven is unabashedly a boys name. Obviously.

    I'm also interested in names where the usual gender varies with location or language. Like french boys names being given to pommy girls because french sounds kinda feminine to the english speaking ear.

    It makes for great phone-answering in places that are so retro that they still have ye olde lande-lyne telephonical devices. Also as a junkmail laundering aide. When we get mail for "Mr Sam and Miss Bob" we know it's someone guessing (or the gas company, but they misspell our names too so that's easy).

    Sydney, West Island • Since Nov 2006 • 463 posts Report Reply

  • Stephen Glaister, in reply to Lilith __,

    I still can't see how maths can give insight into the nature of relationships. Surely it's the people having the relationships who can give us insight? And we should let them tell us how it is?

    The idea is use the math to get at the demarcation between what's possible and impossible for the systems in question, and then to draw conclusions from the relevant impossibility results. Just looking at actual cases' performance, so the story goes, won't hit the spot any more than going out and looking at actual electoral systems, even a few hundred of them, would allow you to draw conclusions about all possible electoral systems. But the latter kind of result has an important role to play in assessing/recommending electoral systems (my MMP review submission appealed to one of those results for example).

    The idea that there could be interesting impossibility results around marriage-related phenomena goes back at least to 1962 and Gale and Shapley, e.g., http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stable_marriage_problem

    Anyhow, any work of this sort has to leave out a lot of details to make the kind of progress it aspires to make, to be as general as it needs to be. And abstracting away from lots of lived detail can feel disrespectful or worse. Thanks to all commenters here for making me re-appreciate this hard truth!

    Since Nov 2006 • 50 posts Report Reply

  • bmk, in reply to Lucy Stewart,

    Blake is gender-ambiguous?

    Isn't it? I have known both males and a female called Blake. Though admittedly the female one is Canadian. Wonder if it is a little like Blair, which in NZ seems to be a primarily male name whereas in the US at least it's gender-neutral.

    Since Jun 2010 • 295 posts Report Reply

  • Danielle, in reply to bmk,

    Attachment

    Blair

    Say that name, and this is who I think of. "You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have..."

    Charo World. Cuchi-cuchi!… • Since Nov 2006 • 3653 posts Report Reply

  • Craig Young,

    Here's a general guide to matters poly. If you're a straight woman and want polyandrous relationships, try the Irigwe community of Northern Nigeria, the Masai African tribal community, Bhutan, some Sri Lankan ethnic communities, Rajasthan, Ladakh and Zanskar (India). In Canada’s Sasketchewan province, it is permissible under family law. Now, apart from India and Sri Lanka, none of the above are significant immigration sources for New Zealanders and there isn’t an organised national or international pressure group pressing for the recognition of polyandrous relationships.

    In the somewhat icky context of 'consensual adult incest', it is only recognised in
    France, Portugal, Brazil, Japan, Turkey, Israel and Argentina. Apart from Argentina, none of those nations currently recognise same-sex marriage or civil unions (apart from France's shonky PaCs model).

    Polygamy is recognised under civil law in
    Afghanistan
    Algeria
    Bahrain
    Bangladesh
    Brunei
    Burkina Faso
    Cameroon
    Chad
    CAR
    Comoros
    Congo
    Djibouti
    Egypt
    Ethiopia
    Gabon
    The Gambia
    India
    Indonesia
    Iran
    Iraq
    Jordan
    Kuwait
    Libya
    Malaysia
    Maldives
    Mali
    Mauritania
    Morocco
    Myanmar
    Niger
    Oman
    Pakistan
    Palestine
    Qatar
    Saudi Arabia
    Senegal
    Singapore1
    Somalia
    South Africa
    Sri Lanka1
    Sudan
    Syria
    Tanzania
    Togo
    Uganda
    UAE
    Yemen
    Zambia

    ...most of which prohibit male homosexuality and lesbianism and prescribe the death penalty for homosexuality in the case of Sudan and Somalia (apart from India and Indonesia, which have decriminalised male homosexuality). South Africa (!) is the only exception on that list which permits both.

    Craig Y

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 370 posts Report Reply

  • Kyhwana, in reply to Robyn Gallagher,

    I've been in one in the past, in the US, does that count? :P
    (It was quite complicated)

    Hamilton • Since Jul 2011 • 14 posts Report Reply

  • Kyhwana, in reply to Martin Lindberg,

    All I can say is, it's probably more common than most people think!
    (Either that or there's a bias because i've been in a poly relationship before and both know more poly couples because of that and because of the various fandoms i'm involved in)

    Hamilton • Since Jul 2011 • 14 posts Report Reply

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