Up Front by Emma Hart

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Up Front: The British Are Coming

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  • Karen White,

    I get compliments on my coat too. It's vintage, dark purple with a (hopefully) faux fur collar, teamed with my grandmother-in-law's pink diamante & pearl brooch.
    Stands out in a sea of black & charcoal grey.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 76 posts Report Reply

  • Kyle Matthews,

    After reading this I had to scroll back to the top to re-read the title.

    Took me a couple of seconds, but I clicked.

    Since Nov 2006 • 6162 posts Report Reply

  • Judi Lapsley Miller,

    It's not my Perfect Coat. That's a tailored Victorian-style purple frock coat. I didn't buy that because it doesn't exist.

    Me too me too! Would trample hoards for such a coat! If we can imagine it, it surely must exist somewhere in this universe?

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 100 posts Report Reply

  • Helen T,

    **The British Are Coming**

    We are? I didn't get the memo. Damnit, people have got to stop leaving me off the mailing list.

    It's not my Perfect Coat. That's a tailored Victorian-style purple frock coat. I didn't buy that because it doesn't exist. One day I will be rich, and cause it to exist. Try-hard Goths everywhere will weep with gratitude and use my picture as a screen-saver. In fact, I might well commission my own fashion label, called "Fuck It, It Fits Me". Fuck It will make DD-cup push-up bras, because why the hell wouldn't you? If anyone knows a structural engineer who'll need a job in about 2018, let me know.

    You've been reading my sewing notebook again haven't you. Although I think Companies House might have an issue with that label name.

    Yorkshire (West if you're… • Since Jun 2009 • 14 posts Report Reply

  • Helen T,

    Me too me too! Would trample hoards for such a coat! If we can imagine it, it surely must exist somewhere in this universe?

    My ideal is the same, except in green (goes with the green hair). My mission for this year is to get good enough with a sewing machine to *make* one. If this happens there will be much rejoicing, and probably then whoring out of services.

    Yorkshire (West if you're… • Since Jun 2009 • 14 posts Report Reply

  • Heather W.,

    It's apparently possible to get the pattern for Men's frock coat of Victorian era.

    North Shore • Since Nov 2008 • 187 posts Report Reply

  • Hadyn Green,

    I have a long grey 1940s Great Coat, also wool and made in Germany. It's beautiful and warm and gets me a lot of comments, but the damn thing weighs a tonne, so it has to be pretty cold for me to wear it.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2081 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    Me too me too! Would trample hoards for such a coat! If we can imagine it, it surely must exist somewhere in this universe?

    Within minutes of my putting this column up, a friend of mine had produced this. It's crushed velvet, which is a bit... whatever the goth equivalent of twee is, but the colour is good and the cut is almost but not quite right.

    I have a long grey 1940s Great Coat

    I used to have the use of an Air Force Great Coat. Incredibly warm, slightly too small for me, and yeah, astoundingly heavy.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4350 posts Report Reply

  • Helen T,

    Within minutes of my putting this column up, a friend of mine had produced this. It's crushed velvet, which is a bit... whatever the goth equivalent of twee is, but the colour is good and the cut is almost but not quite right.

    Emo? *snorts* Okay not the word we're looking for here but I couldn't resist. Also, I've got to say it, who gets winter coat in velvet? I mean, hello, rain. Or snow. Wet velvet is not fun - says the girl who got caught in velvet and lace skirt in a sudden downpour last Whitby...

    Yorkshire (West if you're… • Since Jun 2009 • 14 posts Report Reply

  • Deborah,

    Picture of your coat? Please?

    Manawatu City • Since Nov 2006 • 1303 posts Report Reply

  • Danielle,

    This is going to be like the shoes thing, but I have a collection of vintage coats. My favourite is a sixties a-line black wool with this extra fabulous ribbon trim around the collar and pockets ($40, This is Not a Love Shop, 1996). I have a scarlet wool one with GIANT red buttons, same vintage. I also have an aqua 60s coat with clearly *not* faux-fur collar (I'm going with the 'hell, it was already used when I bought it!' justification).

    Actually, if I listed all the coats I currently own you would all look at me funny, so, um, yeah. Coats are awesome.

    Charo World. Cuchi-cuchi!… • Since Nov 2006 • 3652 posts Report Reply

  • Deborah,

    My always-complimented coat, far more so than anything else I wear - swing coat, handwoven wool, black with a hot pink fleck (one strand of pink wool for every two strands of black wool). It's about 20 years old now. I got some repair work done and got it relined a couple of years ago, in hot pink. It's a one-off: my cousin was running her own design and sewing business, and she made it for me.

    Manawatu City • Since Nov 2006 • 1303 posts Report Reply

  • Kyle Matthews,

    I have a long grey 1940s Great Coat, also wool and made in Germany. It's beautiful and warm and gets me a lot of comments, but the damn thing weighs a tonne, so it has to be pretty cold for me to wear it.

    This indicates that you, like the entire F1 racing industry, supports Hitler. Just to make you aware.

    Since Nov 2006 • 6162 posts Report Reply

  • Danielle,

    We Godwinned a fashion thread? Now I've seen everything.

    Charo World. Cuchi-cuchi!… • Since Nov 2006 • 3652 posts Report Reply

  • Josh Addison,

    Inital thoughts:

    I was in Ophthalmology the other day having an armload...

    Intersting start.

    ...of blood tests

    Aw. But then:

    She didn't once comment on my novelty cartoon pupils.

    Ah...

    I have a good coat story too, but it happened to someone else.

    Onehunga, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 297 posts Report Reply

  • B Jones,

    I intend to replace my perfectly good but a bit boring black wool coat (ankle length, flared from the waist) with something along the scarlet lines, but it would be even better if someone did a version with a hood. Hoods are so useful and never a pain when you don't need them, but hardly any high-end winter coats or even raincoats have them.

    But I saw the coat of awesomeness on the bus the other night. It was a lush jadey green, with a matching green feather boa collar. I've never seen anything like it, and I'd guess it was custom-made.

    The problem with DIY coatmaking is not so much the sewing machine action, but all the pressing and interfacing and tailoring you have to do as well. I've tried it and the results were disappointing, and you don't want to be disappointed with large quantities of fabric at $40+ a metre.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 810 posts Report Reply

  • Isabel Hitchings,

    I assume "fuck it it fits me" will also produce high-waisted jeans with room for actual hip/bottoms?

    Christchurch • Since Jul 2007 • 705 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    I assume "fuck it it fits me" will also produce high-waisted jeans with room for actual hip/bottoms?

    Indeed. We're big on waistage.

    I have a good coat story too, but it happened to someone else.

    Don't let that stop you.

    This indicates that you, like the entire F1 racing industry, supports Hitler. Just to make you aware.

    Pretty much this exact thought went through my head, but I didn't want to say it.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4350 posts Report Reply

  • Josh Addison,

    Don't let that stop you.

    Actually, what was stopping me was that I was too lazy to write it all down. Then I remembered that I already had, in another place, a long time ago.

    Onehunga, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 297 posts Report Reply

  • Kyle Matthews,

    Pretty much this exact thought went through my head, but I didn't want to say it.

    That's because you didn't want to highlight the fact that your red coat makes you a Man U supporter.

    (I'm trying to change the trend from 'all threads revert to the copyright thread', to 'all threads become field theory'.)

    Since Nov 2006 • 6162 posts Report Reply

  • JoJo,

    I am obscenely proud of my winter coat. It's ORANGE (and that is yelled, because it's not some soft girly orange, but fire and rage orange). It's pure wool, with beautiful satiny lining/

    I get compliments every time I wear it, and have been stopped by strangers asking where I got it.

    And then I have to tell them that I got it for 5 bucks at a charity shop, and they will never ever ever have a coat like mine. (And then I blow raspberries and skip away.)

    Wellington • Since Jul 2008 • 95 posts Report Reply

  • Andrew Stevenson,

    My winter coat is, by several miles of daylight, the most complimented thing I have. If you added together all the aesthetic praise I've received for my cat, my games cabinet and my breasts, it still wouldn't come close

    Are you looking for more praise?

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 195 posts Report Reply

  • Craig Ranapia,

    I have a greatcoat I never wear because 1) it's so damn heavy I stoop and dowager's hump doesn't work for me, and, 2) it's so damn thick everything else I'm wearing gets sweat-sticky inside of five minutes. Perhaps I should have thought through the utility of buying a piece of clothing not designed to be worn in a temperate climate...

    North Shore, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 11902 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    And then I have to tell them that I got it for 5 bucks at a charity shop, and they will never ever ever have a coat like mine. (And then I blow raspberries and skip away.)

    That's the spirit!

    Are you looking for more praise?

    If I were, I'd have posted pictures of my coat like Deborah asked. (I don't have any pictures of my coat.)

    Then I remembered that I already had, in another place, a long time ago.

    Wow. Our lot liked trench coats with huge pockets so they could carry their water pistols in them. Though that didn't explain the penchant for jackboots.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4350 posts Report Reply

  • Hadyn Green,

    This indicates that you, like the entire F1 racing industry, supports Hitler. Just to make you aware.

    I had hoped folks wouldn't notice that.

    We Godwinned a fashion thread? Now I've seen everything.

    Nazis: bastards of the highest order but snappy dressers.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2081 posts Report Reply

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