Up Front by Emma Hart

Read Post

Up Front: The Missus

133 Responses

First ←Older Page 1 2 3 4 5 6 Newer→ Last

  • Amy Gale,

    Fathers - I couldn't think of anything they specifically did.

    Run BBQ stalls at school fairs? Dispense pocket money?

    tha Ith • Since May 2007 • 438 posts Report Reply

  • Grace Dalley,

    About this word, "home-maker", I think housework definitely is part of it, but I think it also covers taking responsibility for anything that needs doing in the house or for the household.

    There appears to be an almost intangible spiritual angle to it though - like the difference between 'house' and 'home', so I'm sure it must be more than just tasks.

    Well I think maybe that's because "homemaking" can include "personal assistant" and "facilitator/mediator" as well as "maid" - it's includes doing things (like remembering other people's birthdays) that go so far beyond mere housework.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2008 • 138 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha,

    Fathers - I couldn't think of anything they specifically did

    Encourage their children to take risks, if we're running with the stereotypes.

    Be the bogeyman who dispensed physical punishment, for earlier generations. Kevin Ireland writes eloquently of the wave of suburban beatings that coincided with the return of fathers from work in his childhood. It seems "wait until your dad gets home" was no empty threat.

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 14596 posts Report Reply

  • Joe Wylie,

    Kevin Ireland writes eloquently of the wave of suburban beatings that coincided with the return of fathers from work in his childhood.

    Hey, I read that years ago, it really stayed with me. Heartfelt stuff. I can't recall anything that got so close to the roots of the huge shift that's taking place - over more than one generation - about attitudes to family violence.

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 3161 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha,

    Yes, it struck me how such a different daily experience must have deeply shaped expectations. The story was in the collection edited by Michael King "One of the Boys? Changing Views of Masculinity in New Zealand" published in 1988 by Heineman in Auckland.

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 14596 posts Report Reply

  • BenWilson,

    I figure that equality means exactly what it says. So the job of husband and wife are really the same, with one exception, childbearing. Obviously different talents lead to different specializations, but organizing those along gender lines rather than talent lines is, hmmm, sexist?

    I am, for instance, about 100% stronger than my wife, so I have to do heavy lifting, and any other work that requires high wattage or torque. I believe that her calory output on chores is likely to be the same as mine though. I am also the computer guy so I have to fix her computer all the time, whereas she has the book keeping training so she organizes the finances. She's a terrible driver, and my cooking is breakfast only. That these things happen to also be gender stereotypes is not a reason not to do them, unless we want to have a crash and die, or eat toast every night. Or have a broken computer or chaotic finances.

    I seem to have a talent for child manipulation, so I'm usually the one changing nappies and clothes, bathing him and coaxing him to do things, and of course, carrying him a lot. But my wife spends a lot more time with him, playing. This breaks the gender stereotypes and again, that is no reason not to do it.

    However, when it came to getting pregnant I'm Old School. That's woman's work.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 7146 posts Report Reply

  • Islander,

    Axtually BenWilson - two exceptions. Childbearing, yep. right.

    Engendering a child - well, yeeeees, it can be done with any human male's sperm- but -

    ok, just the one difference then.

    And it sounds like you have a lovely wee whanau! Neat choice sweet!

    Big O, Mahitahi, Te Wahi … • Since Feb 2007 • 5493 posts Report Reply

  • BenWilson,

    More on the way too! Which, despite my oldschoolness of leaving that to da missus, has meant a whole lot more chores for me.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 7146 posts Report Reply

First ←Older Page 1 2 3 4 5 6 Newer→ Last

Post your response…

Please sign in using your Public Address credentials…

Login

You may also create an account or retrieve your password.