Up Front by Emma Hart

Read Post

Up Front: You People and Your Quaint Little Categories

140 Responses

First ←Older Page 1 2 3 4 5 6 Newer→ Last

  • steven crawford,

    And why would heterosexual people find bisexual people extra appealing as soul mates unless it was some kind of kinky fascinated curiousity which seems a bit disrespectful.

    I beg your pardon, how did you reach the, "you must be some sort of creep conclusion?

    Since Nov 2006 • 2724 posts Report Reply

  • kowhai montgomery,

    Oh no Steven I definitely did not mean that! It wasn't directed towards you, just thinking out loud.

    I just do not know why they would, which was why I was asking. Am interested in what you think.

    wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 485 posts Report Reply

  • steven crawford,

    And why would heterosexual people find bisexual people extra appealing as soul mates

    Perhaps mabe, because there are as many sexuality's as there are people. But thats not actually the point.

    Since Nov 2006 • 2724 posts Report Reply

  • kowhai montgomery,

    To clarify more, what I mean is, aren't people attracted to people? I know that people have types and characteristics that they find super appealing in a person but it is hard to imagine why a straight person would have a particular attraction to bisexual people as a "type". And I can imagine a certain kind of person who might have kinky fascinated curiousity, fueled by misconceptions from porn or something.

    Can you see what I am saying? But I thought you might have an interesting take of your own on it, that I had not thought of. So I didn't mean to be insulting, just interested in what you think.

    wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 485 posts Report Reply

  • steven crawford,

    I just do not know why they would, which was why I was asking. Am interested in what you think.

    I have had relationships with bisexual women. I don't no exactly how to explain what, but it didn't have anything to do with the actual physicality of sex that I found attractive, it had more to do with an extra sense of person-hood my bisexual partner expressed, or some-such thing I don't fully understand.

    I'm sorry Kowhai, I know I over reacted. I have a trigger finger, as a result of current political affairs.

    Since Nov 2006 • 2724 posts Report Reply

  • Sofie Bribiesca,

    Perhaps maybe, because there are as many sexuality's as there are people. But thats not actually the point.

    But, a good point.

    here and there. • Since Nov 2007 • 6135 posts Report Reply

  • steven crawford,

    And I can imagine a certain kind of person who might have kinky fascinated curiousity, fueled by misconceptions from porn or something.

    I know what you mean. I describe that behavior as immature, and very much a boys own bravado.

    Since Nov 2006 • 2724 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    And I can imagine a certain kind of person who might have kinky fascinated curiousity, fueled by misconceptions from porn or something.

    To derail slightly, this would be MUCH more likely to be generated by the Depraved Bisexual trope in mainstream movies and tv than by porn.

    it is hard to imagine why a straight person would have a particular attraction to bisexual people as a "type"

    There are straight women who appear to be strongly attracted to gay men, and it doesn't seem to be any more salacious than perhaps the added attraction of unattainability. Given that I can't see any reason why people couldn't be attracted to 'bisexuals'. I think what steven is asking is would you describe them as straight, as kowhai just did? It doesn't necessarily have to be some kind of negatively salacious (assuming that when it comes to sex 'salacious' is negative) attraction. It might be just like being attracted to a good singing voice.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4364 posts Report Reply

  • Sofie Bribiesca,

    I know what you mean.

    I don't. Is that suggesting that any kinky fascinated curiosity however arrived at, does not a good relationship make?

    here and there. • Since Nov 2007 • 6135 posts Report Reply

  • steven crawford,

    I'd like to ask, could we please have an edit button for editing things we didn't edit before the first edit button timed out.

    I mistakenly used the saying, "trigger finger" when I meant to use "hair trigger" to describe my hypo-vigilance, that I'm aware is not an altogether heathy state to be in. And that I do sometimes take potshots at innocent bystanders. I am working on, not doing it.

    Right then, I'm off to listed to the article about 'wicked plants' on This way up.

    Since Nov 2006 • 2724 posts Report Reply

  • Isabel Hitchings,

    I've got a sort of half-formed thought here that straight people who feel an attraction for gay or bi people may actually be expressing a small amount of latent bisexuality themselves in a way that feels safe to them. So for a woman who is not quite bi enough to seek out a relationship with another woman might find a guy who is a little towards the feminine end of the spectrum might be just the ticket.

    Christchurch • Since Jul 2007 • 705 posts Report Reply

  • Sofie Bribiesca,

    might be just the ticket.

    I don't see what others find reasons for personal choice as anything I need to categorize but, if one has a self awareness of equality, surely all types would fall into an interest of/from person and not gender whatever. Just as PAS seems to have with it's posters rather than anything else first. Genuine curiosity?

    here and there. • Since Nov 2007 • 6135 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha,

    It might be just like being attracted to a good singing voice.

    Agreed. And then we make things difficult by trying to impose categories about who sings.

    For instance, stereotyping all things emotional as "feminine" is not helpful for any of us. Robert Bly wrote of "a tremendous depth of feeling in the masculine". It's part of being human, like singing is.

    Physical differences undoubtedly influence attraction for most of us, but there's tremendous variation within genders even in that dimension.

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 16627 posts Report Reply

  • kowhai montgomery,

    Wow, went off to buy veggies and came back to some really interesting stuff.

    Hey Steven, I don't think you were being oversensitive at all, I just let half formed thoughts out of my head and on to the internet ;-) What I originally typed did sound kind of aggressive and I kind of suspected that what you had in mind was something awesome like your "extra sense of person-hood my bisexual partner expressed" comment which was truly very cool.

    Isabel, I tend to agree with your half-formed thought and think you are brave for suggesting it.

    I don't see what others find reasons for personal choice as anything I need to categorize but, if one has a self awareness of equality surely all types would fall into an interest of/from person and not gender whatever.

    This is pretty much what I think.

    To derail slightly, this would be MUCH more likely to be generated by the Depraved Bisexual trope in mainstream movies and tv than by porn.

    Yes, this is what I was getting at.

    Right must head off into the day even though this thread is taking a turn for the interesting.....

    wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 485 posts Report Reply

  • steven crawford,

    When Lady-hawk first showed up on the radio with her song Delirium I couldn't differentiate the gender of the voice. Thats what what, was intrigued and attracted enough to, to learn more about the person.

    So for a woman who is not quite bi enough to seek out a relationship with another woman might find a guy who is a little towards the feminine end of the spectrum might be just the ticket.

    But what if I was to say that I find femininity highly attractive, and that thats also what I find attractive about some gay women.

    Since Nov 2006 • 2724 posts Report Reply

  • steven crawford,

    OK, I recognize the lack of sense that that last comment, that I made, made.

    Since Nov 2006 • 2724 posts Report Reply

  • kowhai montgomery,

    Nah, not at all. I had a friend who was going out with a very butch lady and I asked her about what the attraction was, she said "I find her very feminine".
    So your logic makes sense to me.

    wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 485 posts Report Reply

  • steven crawford,

    So your logic makes sense to me.

    But love is blind, in't it.

    Since Nov 2006 • 2724 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    Heh, I think part of the problem we're all having communicating with each other here is the language not keeping up. Words like 'feminine' and 'kinky' can carry some very heavy negative connotations, but we don't really have anything sufficient to replace them with.

    I'd love to be able to shuck off all the labels and categories, but I don't believe it's safe to even attempt this while some of those groups are still being actively discriminated against. When we get to Captain Jack's ideal future, then we can let go of our quaint little categories.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4364 posts Report Reply

  • steven crawford,

    When we get to Captain Jack's ideal future, then we can let go of our quaint little categories.

    Yes but, Captain Jack, is code for heroin.

    Since Nov 2006 • 2724 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    Yes but, Captain jack is code for heroin.

    Oh, this song is well weird to listen to these days:

    Captain Jack will get you high tonight
    And take you to your special island
    Captain Jack will get you by tonight
    Just a little push, and you'll be smilin'

    Quite.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4364 posts Report Reply

  • steven crawford,

    footnote: anyone whom has noticed my comments being edited right up to the wire; you are witnessing a dyslexic mind at work, on paper, so to speak. I am reading from a different cognitive framework, than I am writing with. Is that in any way sexy?

    Since Nov 2006 • 2724 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha,

    It's impressive. Not sure how we differently go from there to sexy, but I'm sure there are many, many ways.

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 16627 posts Report Reply

  • steven crawford,

    It's impressive.

    That'l do, I shall dye my hair now.

    Since Nov 2006 • 2724 posts Report Reply

  • Sofie Bribiesca,

    I shall dye my hair now.

    Hair? Where?That could be sexy :)

    here and there. • Since Nov 2007 • 6135 posts Report Reply

First ←Older Page 1 2 3 4 5 6 Newer→ Last

Post your response…

Please sign in using your Public Address credentials…

Login

You may also create an account or retrieve your password.