Posts by Bart Janssen
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Up Front: Towards a Sex-Positive Utopia, in reply to Emma Hart,
Also, Tom Cruise. In the 80s, anyway.
Not a good example. He always made certain he appeared taller than he actually was.
There are some cultures where the dominant group was short and hence shorter men were desirable.
But the problem is that as you improve diet and hence health, height tends to increase - so height is actually a reasonable indicator of health. That means there is an advantage in choosing a taller mate since they are likelier to be healthier.
The same is also true for curves. Having some body fat is a good indicator that you've not suffered malnutrition and hence you are likelier to be healthier. That does not extend to the current obesity range but some fat is in most cultures and at most times been the favoured body shape.
But the killer physical feature is symmetry. In all the studies done symmetry is far and away the most powerful physical attractant. It is almost certainly associated with identifying good genetic makeup since human development involves a lot of points during development where cells have to be balanced and symmetrical so an external left right symmetry is an good indication that everything inside is pretty good as well.
Of course all of the above is fraught with evolutionary behavioral logic. Basically we can make educated guesses about how we evolved and why some things are important but they will always be guesses since we can't really do the experiments.
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Up Front: Towards a Sex-Positive Utopia, in reply to Tom Beard,
When my father died, my partner and I cleared out the basement including my father's old Playboy and Penthouse magazines ... Yes I have fond teenage memories of those magazines :).
What was fascinating was how much gravity and hair existed back then. Those women were just as, if not more, beautiful. Just very different from the modern versions.
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Up Front: Towards a Sex-Positive Utopia, in reply to Megan Wegan,
And what if, even as a teenager, you don’t want to put your legs away?
It worth noting that the time you are a teenager is most likely the time your body is the most wonderful. Nothing much hurts, various bits hang where they ought to. So why can't we encourage teenagers to glory in their bodies instead of shaming them into hiding them because someone might look. The problem is not the teenager it is the person looking with evil intent.
Note I'm aware that could look like a creepy post but it is simply meant honestly.
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Up Front: Towards a Sex-Positive Utopia, in reply to Emma Hart,
sex is degrading
You say that like it’s a bad thing…
Don't you mean ... degrading is sex
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Up Front: Towards a Sex-Positive Utopia, in reply to Sacha,
what would erotic material for asexual people be like?
kittens?
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Up Front: Towards a Sex-Positive Utopia, in reply to Emma Hart,
In a sex-positive utopia, would the content of pornography be any different?
What do you consider to be the “content of pornography” now?
In a sex positive utopia I suspect pornography would not exist as we know it. Instead it would surely just be on the self help section or maybe the home crafts section. Probably a bit more interesting though.
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Up Front: Towards a Sex-Positive Utopia, in reply to Euan Mason,
Bart's mother was right, but she left a lot out, and delaying sex in order to wait for love wasn't a logical conclusion. In my view the "wait for love" argument hails from a time when sex carried a high risk of pregnancy.
Ok I should clear up any idea that my mother wanted me to have no sex until I found my perfect partner. Far from it. She thought I should have sex and told me enough that I would probably be half decent at it (note this is an enormously embarrassing conversation to have with your mother).
What she didn't take into account was my natural shyness and quite how much I believed her. How was she to know I would actually pay attention to that bit?!
This didn't result in me being celibate until marriage. But it slowed me down.
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Up Front: Towards a Sex-Positive Utopia, in reply to Emma Hart,
"All other things being equal" is a pretty bloody big caveat though, isn't it? And doesn't it basically make that statement both impossible to disagree with and basically meaningless?
Not meaningless ... just mean.
Note remember my mum was smart and experienced and I was still a pretty geeky introverted and somewhat shy teenager. In retrospect it was a brilliant approach to slowing me down.
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Up Front: Towards a Sex-Positive Utopia, in reply to Euan Mason,
Call me old fashioned, but I still find that's true, all other things being equal. The key word is "more", however. I'm not dissing sex without love, but there's a helluva lot more to sex than just physicality and love adds spice (as do some other things). So why did your mother say that this notion justified waiting for love before dispensing with your virginity?
Oh she was far too evil.. er ... I mean clever, to simply say don't have sex or even suggest directly that I shouldn't have sex, apart from the obvious don't make babies by accident thing. She just pointed out that it would be more fun if I had developed a relationship first. So while my mates were getting shagged I was talking and becoming friends first. I did get shagged, just a lot less frequently :(.
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Up Front: Towards a Sex-Positive Utopia, in reply to Emma Hart,
We know that in families and countries where sex is openly discussed and less taboo, teenagers have sex later, rather than earlier.
My mother cruelly told me that sex was much more enjoyable when you loved the person you were bonking. I missed out on much meaningless cheap sex because of that!