Posts by Bart Janssen

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  • Hard News: Three months after, in reply to Lilith __,

    John Barrowman may burst in

    Don't tell Emma she'll want to steal it from you in the hopes of trapping him.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 3786 posts Report Reply

  • Hard News: Three months after, in reply to Lilith __,

    I’m not looking for advice

    heh this is the number one reason I'd be a crap counsellor. I cannot help but give advice, even though I know all I should be doing is listening and sharing someone's problems I have this compulsion to give advice, it's a like a disease. Maybe I should start a self help group "advice givers anonymous".

    Meanwhile you have my sympathy Lilith, can I suggest ... no .. no ... must resist

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 3786 posts Report Reply

  • Hard News: Three months after, in reply to Russell Brown,

    who thinks I'm clinically depressed and need counselling that I'm not that dire

    Good to hear. But take care of yourself. I recognised the tone of your comments, they were too familiar to me to dismiss. Don't be afraid to ask for help even if you aren't sure you need it. There is no millage in "toughing it out".

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 3786 posts Report Reply

  • Hard News: Three months after, in reply to BenWilson,

    talking to anyone is better than bottling it up. Counsellors are especially handy because they have to listen, at least for as long as you've paid them for.

    Yes I agree Ben. It is an extraordinary event in that it affects so many at once.

    But at the individual level it is exactly the same as depression from any other cause. It is at the individual level that it must be treated (not a good word but it'll do).

    As for counselors - yes talking to anyone at all is good - but please don't underestimate the talent and training counsellors have - they really have skills that are much more developed than any average person, it took me about 4 months to truly understand that.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 3786 posts Report Reply

  • Hard News: Three months after, in reply to A Nonny Moose,

    I also resent the implication that someone must be mentally ill (“need help”) to be feeling this way.

    No that isn't the point. One problem with depression is it sneaks up on you, it isn't obvious to the person feeling this way that it is something that anyone else can help with.

    It isn't about labelling someone as ill it is about realising that professionals can help.

    I really don't want to patronise. My own experience with depression is that when you are at the point the poster is in then all the normal chatting in the world won't help you. You really won't "get over it" and suggesting to someone that they will does more harm then good. Counsellors have real skills and real valuable training. By the time you are depressed all your "normal" methods of coping are failing. You can stay in that state and suffer through it or you can allow someone else to help you out.

    It doesn't matter how strong you are, it doesn't matter how well you "cope".

    argh I'm sounding patronising - I'm sorry. I don't mean to sound that way but please try and find a professional to help. You don't have to find you way out alone, there are people who can really help - not me though - I'm crap at it.

    And counselling is simply talking about it, the only difference is that counsellors have skills and training that make them better at helping than average folks.

    However, as Russell points out there are thousands who need that kind of help.

    But this is different to “normal” depression. This is depression with a primarily external cause.

    No it isn't different. Depression is a state - how you get to that state is kind of irrelevant, but having a particular event tip you over the edge into depression is entirely normal. It is extraordinarily hard to get out of that state without help.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 3786 posts Report Reply

  • Hard News: The Political Lie, in reply to DexterX,

    What lies will we be looking to swallow Election 2011?

    You can do more with less - is my personal favorite lie.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 3786 posts Report Reply

  • Hard News: The Political Lie, in reply to Islander,

    perfectly beautiful& fully functional tentacles

    cthulhu!

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 3786 posts Report Reply

  • Hard News: The Political Lie, in reply to Sacha,

    that taxes are a “burden”

    And yet the data from the OECD rankings show exactly the reverse. Countries with higher taxation are better in every way and by every measure.

    We should be demanding to be taxed more!

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 3786 posts Report Reply

  • Hard News: The Political Lie, in reply to Raymond A Francis,

    seem to hear the lies of those they oppose

    For the past 20 years I've listened to politicians say they'll increase growth by supporting research and innovation ... liars every one of them ... red or blue

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 3786 posts Report Reply

  • Hard News: The Political Lie, in reply to Lilith __,

    “We NZers are very proud of our natural heritage, like anywhere else we have some issues trying to keep our country clean and unpolluted and protecting our biodiversity, but we’re working hard at it.”

    I vote for Lilith

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 3786 posts Report Reply

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