Posts by Joe Wylie

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  • Up Front: Making a List, Not Bothering…,

    Which is because these laws are enforced by elected prosecutors. People who can get votes out of being 'tough on crime' can also directly prosecute offenders.

    In light of that, it's hugely ironic that Australia, and in particular the Australian Labor Party, which has made a big issue of the separation of powers between the legislature and the judiciary ever since the 1975 dismissal of the Whitlam goverment, is at the forefront of this contrived populist puritanism.

    Ten years ago it was a splendid wheeze on the part of the media to bail up a gormless One Nation candidate and mock their yokel incomprehension by hitting them with a curly question on the separation of powers. Rudd's slickly packaged puritanism is turning out to be far more dangerous than any of Hanson's garbled initiatives.

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 4593 posts Report

  • Hard News: Onwards and upwards,

    That's because it's considered uncool among cockies to open one's yap any wider than the merest slit. Or so Murray Ball told the animators during the making of Footrot Flats, the Movie.

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 4593 posts Report

  • Hard News: Onwards and upwards,

    "why would a NZer in this day and age would be doing an imitation of Paul Lynde?"

    The comparison with the talented Mr.Lynde is too kind. For reasons unknown, that rising castrato squeak of gloating indignation has been a convention of NZ breakfast jocks since the early 60s.

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 4593 posts Report

  • Hard News: Onwards and upwards,

    It is offensive for a man to look at a woman with glaring masculine features.

    Jesus. An abomination unto the lord?

    I have to get rid of my little bit of fluff on my upper lip so why can't other woman.

    Not before she'd eliminated that little bit of fluff between her ears, obviously.

    Thanks for filtering this stuff, Robyn. Doubt that I'd be able to take it unadulterated.

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 4593 posts Report

  • What do you want them to play at your funeral?,

    . . . stick to the script and not ad lib, wink, smirk, or make smart asides to the funeral director.

    Which, rather horribly, does happen, with both "professional" celebrants and clergy. As Hilary says, you only get one go at it, and unlike most social cringes, the funeral variety remain graven on one's memory. Yuck.

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 4593 posts Report

  • Can We Dump Raw Shit Into Your River for…,

    . . . we've 'solved' the problem, at great cost, by basically building a longer pipe.

    Which is exactly what Chch has recently done, which makes the supposed need to pollute the Avon & Heathcote all the weirder.

    Meanwhile, despite the longer pipe, the surfees are arguing about what the brown sludge they are swimming in is ....

    The Dunedin equivalent of the legendary Bondi cigars, no doubt.

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 4593 posts Report

  • What do you want them to play at your funeral?,

    For some reason I'm reminded of the story of how Laurie Anderson contacted the reclusive Thomas Pynchon with a view to creating an opera based on his magnum opus, Gravity's Rainbow. No problem, said Pynchon, on the single condition that it be scored for no other instrument than the banjo.

    Banjos and funerals, made for each other.

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 4593 posts Report

  • What do you want them to play at your funeral?,

    The book of right-On-Joanna Newsom

    I killed my dinner with karate
    Kick 'em in the face, taste the body
    Shallow work is the work that I do


    Really?
    Interesting funeral :)

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 4593 posts Report

  • Can We Dump Raw Shit Into Your River for…,

    Did we suddenly time-warp to 1980?

    Even further. I recall being in Chch in 1976, back when the garbage sacks were a weird sky blue. A worthy organisation, the name of which I haven't retained, was running newspaper ads opposing discharges into the municipal rivers with the great slogan"Our Grandfathers Swam in Canterbury's Rivers. Our Grandchildren May be Able to Walk on Them".

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 4593 posts Report

  • OnPoint: Being a dick about Earth Hour,

    Like them new Macs.

    Substitute your lies for fact
    I can see right through your plastic mac
    ?

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 4593 posts Report

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