I may be shallow, and I am, but I really wanted visuals for this.
Cool. Genuine insight. Things I'd never thought about before, from people with different brains than mine.
Well, I had to give something back for the half hour I spent at the MsNaughty blog this afternoon going, "Yes, goddammit, that's what I was trying to say".
Here's a blog I wrote last year on gay pr0n and women. The first comment is from a good friend of mine who writes literal tonnes of slash. Part of the comment goes like this:
mainstream porn has never been about the connection between the individuals within the piece it's about the connection between the the actors and the voyeur. They're performing for someone. With some gay porn it's about the act itself, it's about the connection between two people, and the voyeur isn't acknowledged.
There are probably heaps of by-women-for-women erotica blogs....I don't know what women might want to look at. Probably not recontextualised gay porn, though.
And then there's the slightly odd phenomenon of slashfic (gay male pr0n lit), the vast majority of which is written by women. I can testify from my personal acquaintance that there are women who really like reading, writing and looking at gay male pr0n.
Few of the landmark shops/businesses are left... Mr Smiles, Mr Munch Scoop 'N Save, the Comic Shop, 4 book shops, the electical repair shop, Silvios Records, the Market, the Recording Studios to name but a few.
It's not just the rents, either. I know one of those bookshops (and the delightful people living in the upstairs flat) moved because the building turned out to be a hideous earthquake hazard. It can't be the only one.
I don't know if they were Engineering students, but those riotus folk down Dunedin at weekend were definitely doing the Haka.
Was after the Undie 500, which is run by ENSOC. That doesn't mean that all or even most of the people involved were engineering students, but there's a definite association. When I was at uni, back before the invention of fire, we used 'engineer' to refer to a particular behaviour, not a degree choice.
What proportion of transactions involve male escorts sleeping with women though?
Okay, I'm now doing what I've been trying to avoid and theorising about an industry I have no experience of, but I would think 'more since Viagra'. Previously, biology would handicap men working as prostitutes for women (ie as penetrative partners, rather than rent boys as receptive partners) because they'd need to be aroused to have sex.
As for modern music - it doesn't float my boat in any case, so I have no opinion about it. I'm more of a jazz, classical and opera woman. Each to their own.
A little Anna Netrebko always brightens my day.
I hear you, Emma, but in my case it took no time at all for me to figure it out. I love the woman, but why would you tell a 14 yr old "If you were skinny, I'd buy you any clothes you liked." Luckily, I was far too in love with myself to let stuff like that sink in too far. It irks her greatly...
*weeps* Man, my mother was a great deal more subtle than that (are you sure you want to eat/buy/wear that?) but yeah, she still can't quite get over the fact that I'm comfortable how I am, and that I've been comfortable ten kilos heavier, and uncomfortable ten kilos lighter. (Extended illness, she thought I looked great.)
But if it's our mothers who screw us up, that makes it really easy to put right for our daughters. That's why, while I understand social conditioning as a reason, I'm reluctant to accept it as an excuse. There's only one other comment on my body that sticks in my mind from my teenage years, and that was my bio teacher pointing me out in class as someone well designed to survive an ice age. Thanks, dude.
choice is one of those chimera western society loves to bang on about (no offence intended emma).
None taken, Che. I did actually write a really long paragraph about real choice and what it requires, but I figured I'd been banging on enough here and someone else was well capable of making that point.
To be really brief, it requires information ('you can freely choose between A and B, but I'm not telling you what they are'), and it requires freedom from non-logical non-inherent consequences. By which I mean that, say, if you choose to vote for a particular political party, there are natural consequences of that, like they'll cut taxes or increase spending. But there may be other consequences, such as if you vote for the oppositition the boys will be round in the morning to take you 'for a ride'.
From there I could push out into more debateable territory and say, real choice requires a certain degree of intelligence, in order to work out what the hidden consequences of an action might be. So if your party promises they'll cut taxes you should be able to deduce that this might mean cutting spending as well even though they don't want to talk about it.
And having information means not being lied to about what the consequences of your actions might be, which I think is particularly important for teenagers. Whether that means not being told that marrying money will make you happy, or not being told that having pre-marital sex will ruin your life.
I agree with anjum about social conditioning and the way it affects women getting down on women because they genuinely believe it's good for them. It took me a long, long time to realise that my mother nagged me about my weight because she really thought I would be happier thin, and because she had her own body image problems. It's still something I make a conscious effort not to pass on to my daughter, which includes things like not saying I look terrible in photos.
I'm interested that Michael knows women who've had breast reductions, because there's a flip side to 'big knockers make you sexy'. My high school biology teacher was insistent that I should get a breast reduction, because otherwise no-one would take me seriously. Women with large breasts are stupid. (Being interrupted while he was demonstrating where the scars would go led to one of those 'hilarious misunderstandings' that made high school so much fun.)
Once again, blurring the line between comment and blog...