Posts by Emma Hart

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  • Speaker: Insert Token Here,

    I want to hear more about the terrifying amounts of porn, or was it the amounts of terrifying porn?

    A regular pornami. A pornado. Desert Porn. Californipornication.

    Actually, some of it is just... a bit much. Are you familiar with the term 'squick'?

    Maybe if you just sort of crouch down a bit?

    Ha, I hadn't thought of that. I think I was sixteen the last time someone suggested that, when they couldn't find a Gratiano tall enough to play opposite my Nerissa.

    Hazards informed guess: because you have to be a particular stripe of brave to use your real name for that stuff?

    Absolutely. Not that any of the people I knew then can type or have found teh internets, but yes, brave, and also I'd think over it to some degree.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4418 posts Report Reply

  • Speaker: Insert Token Here,

    The Dropkicks aren't after a token as such, we'd like someone just like us but with a "women's perspective". ie. Able to talk bollocks while not possessing any.

    It's true some women do have a different perspective on rugby from most men. We're still trying to work out if the Hurricanes can retain their title of Prettiest Super Rugby Franchise with the departure of Tana Umaga.

    To be very slightly less facetious, Melodie Robinson is fantastic. There must be another one of those somewhere.

    Gender Genie thinks I'm a man.

    Lovely post, Emma. Tell me you will be writing more, pleeeeease?

    GG thinks I'm a man when I write non-fiction and a woman when I write fiction. I'll admit to being a little dubious about its methodology.

    And thank you. I do write all the time, every day. Just normally I use words like 'gasped' more...

    No, the real horror story is that you're a Cantab. And that means you fight in the streets, marry your own children, own a banjo and have just purchased a season ticket at Telstra Stadium.

    I was going to write a blisteringly sarcastic rejoinder to this, then I realised I have been in a couple of street fights. Just not in Chch.

    A really entertaining first post. I hope it isn't the last.

    My mother warned me about men like you. Slip me a twenty and I'll think about it.

    Or, thank you.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4418 posts Report Reply

  • Speaker: Insert Token Here,

    I've sat in a cocaine dealer's trailer and listened to guys howl aggressively at pay-per-view boxing. Does that count?

    I'm saying 'yes'.

    Also, to quote David Cassidy, I think I love you.

    Excellent. That' going to push Russell's Official Diversity Rating right up.

    But then I think we may be required to become members of some sort of cabal? And run the country. Which sounds like way too much effort for a)this time of year, and b)me.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4418 posts Report Reply

  • Speaker: Insert Token Here,

    Greetings Emma or is it Emman

    You can call me whatever you like, luvvie.

    They do now. There were curly quotes in the coding, doubtless added by some word processing application that thinks it knows better.

    Oh balls, I meant to fix that before I sent it off.

    And no dis intended, but I don't really have a clue what you mean about "unconscious masculine energy" and not having a "recognisably female voice".

    Neither do I. No clue. Typical in my experience is that the men sit on the couch and play computer games / watch Bathurst while the women organise every detail of their lives.

    My mum was heavily involved in the Values Party when I was a kid, so I can confirm that it isn't just Tory women where you get the feeling that Death is going to have to do some serious negotiating.

    Would being a lesbian midget in Second Life count? Just asking. For a friend.

    That depends, Mark. What level of commitment does 'your friend' put into really living the emotional experience of their virtual lesbian midget?

    Anyway, welcome aboard Emma - which seems weird to say, because with your longstanding prolific and interesting input, you're as fully-aboard is anyone here on the System.

    Cheers, Mark. This has been a somewhat harrowing but ultimately rewarding experience.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4418 posts Report Reply

  • OnPoint: Terra Firma,

    Written on rolls of papyrus, it was.

    Papyrus?

    Looxury.

    We had it on blocs of stone.

    I know diversity of voices and all that, but a good set up - knock down just warms the cockles of my heart.

    but that book was published a few years ago

    1957, I think. It was 'quaint' when we were using it in the 80s.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4418 posts Report Reply

  • OnPoint: Terra Firma,

    And I second Kyle's argument for learning NZ history in high school

    Geebuz I must be getting old now. I'm pretty sure that when I was in 7th form, we did half a year of Tudor and Stuart, and half a year of NZ history. This was so long ago we used Keith Sinclair's History of New Zealand as the set text. Written on rolls of papyrus, it was.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4418 posts Report Reply

  • Busytown: Pavlova Paradise,

    No worse feeling than your first post in a thread being the very last one.

    Silence is about the hardest thing to guage on the net. Without any visual clues, you've no idea if no-one is responding because they think you're an idiot, or because they think you've 'said it far better than [they] could', or because you've posted just before System's daily 4:30 knock-off point.

    Ten days before Christmas, and you want women to do MORE voluntary work?

    I looked at the calendar today and had a John McEnroe moment - 'you canNOT be serious!'

    as for your "harden up", don't you know that women can't do that... ;)

    Ha, there've been winter nights you could drill core samples out of pack ice with my nipples.

    And sometimes the silence is because you've said something incredibly tasteless...

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4418 posts Report Reply

  • Southerly: I've Turned Gay for Public Address,

    Actually, I should do that anyway: my mother is giving my daughter one for Christmas.

    *headdesk* A ukelele, not a gay cyclist.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4418 posts Report Reply

  • Southerly: I've Turned Gay for Public Address,

    I’m hoping to find someone who’ll cover both topics, but I’ll be in touch if I can’t find anyone suitable.

    Well, the first time I met you was in a bar full of gay cyclists, I can see if any of them know the uke. Erm, 'ook'...

    Actually, I should do that anyway: my mother is giving my daughter one for Christmas.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4418 posts Report Reply

  • Southerly: I've Turned Gay for Public Address,

    Once again, this title is the morning's eye-catcher.

    I've been gay for about three hours now -- and, frankly, I wish I'd done it years ago.

    You really should put the extra effort in and take up a weird-shit religion as well. Preferably something that involves just having to spend several days sitting in a garden with all your other gay co-religionists meditating and not packing boxes or minding children.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4418 posts Report Reply

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