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Posted at 9:12AM on 30 Jul 08. Permalink.

The first paragraph of Fran O'Sullivan's column today:

The list of National's economic policy flip-flops has now grown so big that it's tempting to wonder if John Key is auditioning to be Helen Clark in drag

Quite spooky really.

Posted at 9:22AM on 30 Jul 08. Permalink.

I see Fran has taken to announcing National policy

There are a number of areas ripe for the plucking: for instance the delivery of NZ Trade and Enterprise programmes offshore could be made contestable so that private sector operators could bid.

Say what!!?

Posted at 9:25AM on 30 Jul 08. Permalink.

*ahem* BA-haha!

Posted at 9:33AM on 30 Jul 08. Permalink.

Won't John have to wait for David Cameron to do this first before he can?

Posted at 9:40AM on 30 Jul 08. Permalink.

"When questioned later Mr Key pointed out that his party had always supported cuts in government, and that Bill would be next ...."

Posted at 9:46AM on 30 Jul 08. Permalink.

What does John Key stand for?

Having a piss.

Posted at 9:57AM on 30 Jul 08. Permalink.

Quite spooky really.

Wait a mo', you mean The Herald isn't the propaganda arm of the National Socialists after all? Bugger. Meanwhile, I thought Fran O'Sullivan was some hag-ridden Rogernome whose columns were worth using as bum-wipe in your favourite long drop...

John Key has announced the adoption of yet another flagship Labour policy – having a female leader. In a one-page policy briefing released today he stated that under a National government he would undergo gender realignment to have what it takes to lead the Country.

Simon: You need to start checking your mail too. Haven't you gotten the memo that in an 'October surprise' Agent Key is going to pull the strap-on out of his pants, rip off the latex mask and reveal that he's really...

Ruth Richardson. At least Fran got the 'drag' bit right.

Posted at 10:16AM on 30 Jul 08. Permalink.

actually I think it will be January, and a bit like "The Crying Game" ....

Posted at 10:36AM on 30 Jul 08. Permalink.

Wait a mo', you mean The Herald isn't the propaganda arm of the National Socialists after all? Bugger.

Now that part 2 of the Herald's unauthorised hand job is over and done with, and yes it was just as embarassing as the first, it's good to see that you're sticking to your guns.

Posted at 10:38AM on 30 Jul 08. Permalink.

Georgina Beyer mark two? They were both 'hookers' before entering Parliament, remember. JK did say"'whatever it takes"! Problem is JK changes his mind so often, the surgeons would need to be on permanent stand-by.

Posted at 10:50AM on 30 Jul 08. Permalink.

Now that part 2 of the Herald's unauthorised hand job is over and done with, and yes it was just as embarassing as the first, it's good to see that you're sticking to your guns.

Well, giovanni, I wish I could reciprocate but that would be ever so slightly dishonest.

Georgina Beyer mark two? They were both 'hookers' before entering Parliament, remember. JK did say"'whatever it takes"! Problem is JK changes his mind so often, the surgeons would need to be on permanent stand-by.

Stanley: The auditions for Kiwiblog Idiot are next door. Though you might have better luck if you work up a few verses of "Hullen Klark is a barren, ugly dyke in a sham marriage -- not a real woman at all".

Posted at 11:21AM on 30 Jul 08. Permalink.

"Where does money for this procedure come from? Either you've got to borrow for the cut - which we've always said is crazy - or you are heavily pruning existing Labour Government spending."

lol. Mr Pound brought the funny.

Posted at 11:34AM on 30 Jul 08. Permalink.

Well, giovanni, I wish I could reciprocate but that would be ever so slightly dishonest.

Not sure where you're going there. But I find your litany of "look, you idiots, this proves that the Herald is unbiased", as if any of us had ever claimed that the paper was actively colluding or had pledged 100% positive coverage of the great leader, more than a little disingenous. The odd critical editorial, the occasional moment of sanity from Ms O'Sullivan doesn't a balanced coverage make.

Posted at 11:49AM on 30 Jul 08. Permalink.

Giovanni:

My (oft' and loudly expressed) position on The Herald isn't that it is politically biased, but that it's thick as the muck in the Augean stables and nowhere near as useful. Myself, I think that's a perfectly good reason not to renew the household sub when it expires in a couple of months.

Hey, you (and many others around these parts) think it's a kid's show made up of Tory sock puppets. The wingnuts on the right are equally convinced it's a coven of tree-hugging, bone-wearing PC Commie dykes.

Everyone in entitled to their own opinions, just don't expect me to share them.

Posted at 11:55AM on 30 Jul 08. Permalink.

Everyone in entitled to their own opinions

Laudable position except that you reduce everyone's opinion but yours to the following:

you (and many others around these parts) think it's a kid's show made up of Tory sock puppets. The wingnuts on the right are equally convinced it's a coven of tree-hugging, bone-wearing PC Commie dykes

and that's, you know, dishonest.

Posted at 12:10PM on 30 Jul 08. Permalink.

Whatever the outcome, it will be communicated by staging a very long walk.

Rofflenui

Posted at 12:29PM on 30 Jul 08. Permalink.

and that's, you know, dishonest.

Oh, come on, Giovanni. That's, you know, disingenuous.

Posted at 12:32PM on 30 Jul 08. Permalink.

<quote>Oh, come on, Giovanni. That's, you know, disingenuous.</quiote>

Expletive deleted, Craig.
And a good day to you.

Lovely post, Simon.

Posted at 12:44PM on 30 Jul 08. Permalink.

Expletive deleted, Craig.
And a good day to you.

Lovely post, Simon.

Yes Lovely funny, although I see it's brought the friendliest comments out already.Goes down well with the coffee.And, I do like Simon G's one:)

Posted at 1:55PM on 30 Jul 08. Permalink.

Rofflenui

Lolnui, that is a great coinage!

Posted at 2:05PM on 30 Jul 08. Permalink.

<There are a number of areas ripe for the plucking: for instance the delivery of NZ Trade and Enterprise programmes offshore could be made contestable so that private sector operators could bid.>

Halliburton did that in Iraq (though without the contestability) -- quite profitable I believe?

Posted at 4:08PM on 30 Jul 08. Permalink.

Welcome-nui :)

Posted at 5:09PM on 30 Jul 08. Permalink.

It is quite a turnaround for Mr Key, who has previously not been known to favour becoming a woman,

With Lyndsay Soper in General Debate in Parliament today, her last sentence should make it into Hansaard. This suggested that she had been reading here at some time this morning and announced John Keys possible upcoming operation:)

Posted at 11:27AM on 31 Jul 08. Permalink.

Actually, Sofie, I had a mouthful of tea when I started reading this thread and had to rush outside.

Go to the top of the class ya all.

Laugh Out Loud funny.

Key could keep his nose on standby if he changes his mind.

Posted at 1:15PM on 31 Jul 08. Permalink.

Simon P
A cutting wit. Made my morning.

Sacha
Love rofflenui. Request permission to use it , and variations (lolnui) henceforth.

Posted at 12:02PM on 1 Aug 08. Permalink.

Thanks, Suze - it just made sense at the time, so I'm glad to hear it resonates for others too. Please do spread it around and we'll see where it finds a home.

Posted at 12:23PM on 1 Aug 08. Permalink.

Totally off topic but I had to

A drunk driver who killed a woman has been spared prison after a judge said her agoraphobia would cause her "difficulties" if she was locked up.

What? So as a punishment are they going to make her stand in a shopping mall?