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Up Front: Why Does Love Do This to Me?

Posted at 1:21PM on 27 Jan 09. Permalink.

Last week, Mills & Boon announced it was working with England's Rugby Football Union to produce a series of romance novels that would give the game "an air of sexiness, glitz and glamour".

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Last week, Mills & Boon announced it was working with England's Rugby Football Union to produce a series of romance novels that would give the game "an air of sexiness, glitz and glamour".

She might have been assistant physio to the renowned All Black team for three months now, but it still sent a shiver down Megan's spine to watch them run out on to the field. There was something magic in the air, in the way the lights gleamed through the falling rain, making the rebuilt Eden Park shine in all its RMA-compliant magnificence.

Much as she'd fought it, much as she'd struggled for professionalism, her obsession showed no signs of sputtering out like a barbeque on the last dregs of the gas bottle. Even in the crowd and the noise, she knew exactly where he was. She could pick out his voice singing the National Anthem below all the others. Even from the sideline, she could make out every detail of the way the rain gathered on his storm-heavy brows and trickled off the end of nose.

Robert. He wasn't the most famous man on the team, or the best looking, but there was something about him that caught at her heart like a fishhook in a seagull's throat. Every time she was around him she found herself flushing and inarticulate, unable to stop herself imagining what it would be like to be crushed against that broadly-muscled chest, lost in his distinctive scent of sweat, liniment and Lynx.

A voice behind her said her name, and she turned to see the coach. He seemed grizzled and gruff, but she'd found he could be surprisingly tender and caring under the surface. Like Robert. Well, not just like Robert: the coach was too old to inspire the feelings Robert did. But she was sure Robert would be tender and caring under the surface if she could just get there…

Wait, he was saying something. "It’s nothing personal, Megan, he's just not going to notice. I'm pretty sure he plays for the other team."

She frowned. He must mean Canterbury. "Surely that doesn’t matter when he's playing for his country? Once he slithers into that tight black jersey, nobody cares what he does the rest of the time."

"Not in rugby, love. Not ever. It's our national passion. Can't let other feelings get in the way of that."

She just shook her head, distracted by the sight of Robert bringing up the back of the haka, displaying that passion, like his tongue, for everyone to see.

Five minutes into the game and he'd been caught in a ruck. Not his place, but one of the forwards had gone down. Someone had been needed, and he'd valiantly rushed in with no thought to his safety, or the effect of his lack of headgear on possible future underwear contracts.

The main physio had rushed to the aid of the fallen forward, and someone was making some kind of fuss about a stretcher or something, but Megan had eyes only for Robert. He got to his feet, hobbled a couple of steps and then fell, clutching his right leg. There was nobody else. It was down to her, and as she sprinted out onto the field, she could feel the hand of Destiny upon her.

She knelt beside her fallen warrior and passed him the water bottle. He obviously felt the heat between them just as much as she did: he could hardly meet her eyes. "Pulled a hammy, I think. Feels like."

"Let me look," she said softly, her firm strong fingers stroking his thigh, assessing his injury. She was trying so hard to keep it professional, but her heart was thumping like a punk drummer on P, and slow heat was spreading through her loins. She glanced up to see if he'd noticed, but he was spitting water onto the grass beside her. His thigh under her hands was hard and unyielding, like a bundle of pipes wrapped in hairy canvas.

She drew breath with difficulty. "I think it’s just a strain. If I give it a bit of a massage…"

She could feel his eyes on her now, even though she was staring at her work. His leg, his lovely firm legs and those beautifully-cut shorts…

His voice claimed her attention. "You look kind of familiar. Do I know you?"

"I'm Megan,” she said shakily. Oh god, he'd noticed her. "I've been with the team for a few months now."

"No, I've seen you somewhere else. Wait, weren't you outside my house? And you were there when we went to that club the other night. Your voice is familiar too. Are you the woman who's been ringing my house?”

She didn't know how to answer. He was staring at her, his dark eyes boring through into her soul.

Then they were interrupted, a flick on his shoulder from his captain. "Rob, you planning on joining us? Game's on and everything. Hey Megs."

She looked up, startled, into the bluest eyes she'd ever seen, like the blue squares from a paint-box, and a warm, dimpled smile. "Mark. Hi."

He grinned right at her, lips full and pouting over his mouth-guard, and she felt a fire in her heart. "I need my boy back, Megs, think we can do that?"

"What, Robert? Yeah, sure, okay, he'll be fine."

"That's your magic fingers. Keep 'em warm for me will you Megs? I'll see you after the game."

And as she ran back to the sideline across the rain-soaked grass, Megan just knew this was going to be the best night of her life.

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andin
From: basement flat
Since: Mar 2007
Posts: 300

Posted at 1:21PM on 27 Jan 09. Permalink.

but her heart was thumping like a punk drummer on P, and slow heat was spreading through her loins.

You sure it wasnt Deep Heat?
And the drummer must have been Des Truction

andrew llewellyn
From: Wellington
Since: Nov 2006
Posts: 2061

Posted at 1:21PM on 27 Jan 09. Permalink.

She frowned. He must mean Canterbury.

You mean all the Canterbury team are gay?

Emma Hart
From: Christchurch
Since: Nov 2006
Posts: 2629
Moderator

Posted at 1:24PM on 27 Jan 09. Permalink.

You mean all the Canterbury team are gay?

As gay as President Lincoln.

You sure it wasnt Deep Heat?

OW.

Hadyn Green
From: Wellington
Since: Nov 2006
Posts: 1802
Moderator

Posted at 1:32PM on 27 Jan 09. Permalink.

This Megan character isn't based on someone (or some Megan) in real life is it?

Russell Brown
From: Auckland
Since: Nov 2006
Posts: 9067
Moderator

Posted at 1:35PM on 27 Jan 09. Permalink.

Would that opening sentence be a Dan Brown tribute?

Emma Hart
From: Christchurch
Since: Nov 2006
Posts: 2629
Moderator

Posted at 1:39PM on 27 Jan 09. Permalink.

Would that opening sentence be a Dan Brown tribute?

Oh, well spotted.

This Megan character isn't based on someone (or some Megan) in real life is it?

Sheer fear prevents me from answering this question in the manner I'd like.

horse
From: Palmerston North
Since: Feb 2007
Posts: 21

Posted at 1:40PM on 27 Jan 09. Permalink.

... but there was something about him that caught at her heart like a fishhook in a seagull's throat.

Oh, more wild applause. Love it!

Megan Wegan
From: Welly
Since: Jul 2008
Posts: 402

Posted at 1:42PM on 27 Jan 09. Permalink.

I am going to assume you haven't been reading my high school diaries, and just applaud your awesomeness.

Because otherwise, you are right. You should be very very afraid.

JackElder
From: Wellington
Since: Mar 2008
Posts: 467

Posted at 1:57PM on 27 Jan 09. Permalink.

Am I the only one who suspects that Emma enjoyed writing this ... a little more than she should have?

Isabel Hitchings
From: Christchurch
Since: Jul 2007
Posts: 335

Posted at 2:01PM on 27 Jan 09. Permalink.

Am I the only one who suspects that Emma enjoyed writing this ... a little more than she should have?

I'm fairly sure she's still feeling a little flushed and weak at the knees over it ;-)

Emma Hart
From: Christchurch
Since: Nov 2006
Posts: 2629
Moderator

Posted at 2:04PM on 27 Jan 09. Permalink.

Am I the only one who suspects that Emma enjoyed writing this ... a little more than she should have?
I'm fairly sure she's still feeling a little flushed and weak at the knees over it ;-)

Oh stop it. What I did, pretty much, was drink merlot and hunch over my keyboard giggling to myself.

I had originally tried to do this seriously. It lasted a sentence and a half. A friend has asked for a cricket version, which in my head made it about a paragraph before turning into some kind of BDSM-opalooza. You should probably be grateful that won't see the light of day.

Danielle
From: PAS Women's XV Strategic Headquarters
Since: Nov 2006
Posts: 2249

Posted at 2:07PM on 27 Jan 09. Permalink.

As gay as President Lincoln.

It's knowledge , bro!

That seagull line is a pearler! Among many.

Naly D
From: Wellington
Since: Sep 2008
Posts: 273

Posted at 2:26PM on 27 Jan 09. Permalink.

This Megan character isn't based on someone (or some Megan) in real life is it?

And Robert isn't based on a certain Richie is he?

Kyle Matthews
From: Dunedin
Since: Nov 2006
Posts: 4406

Posted at 2:31PM on 27 Jan 09. Permalink.

Someone had been needed, and he'd valiantly rushed in with no thought to his safety, or the effect of his lack of headgear on possible future underwear contracts.

Heh. You're funny. You should write stuff and post it somewhere.

Isabel Hitchings
From: Christchurch
Since: Jul 2007
Posts: 335

Posted at 2:40PM on 27 Jan 09. Permalink.

Oh stop it. What I did, pretty much, was drink merlot and hunch over my keyboard giggling to myself.

I can't think of a better way to spend an evening.

giovanni tiso
From: Wellington
Since: Jun 2007
Posts: 4386

Posted at 2:43PM on 27 Jan 09. Permalink.

I thought I detected a certain aroma of Merlot.

"Sweat, liniment and Lynx" would be an excellent title for a rock album I think.

Emma Hart
From: Christchurch
Since: Nov 2006
Posts: 2629
Moderator

Posted at 2:46PM on 27 Jan 09. Permalink.

And Robert isn't based on a certain Richie is he?

Heh, unlike 'Megan', Robert was based on a person, a current AB. During the rewrites, I worked on making it less obvious who it was. Mark is totally Richie McCaw, but.

JackElder
From: Wellington
Since: Mar 2008
Posts: 467

Posted at 3:20PM on 27 Jan 09. Permalink.

Purely out of interest, did you write this before or after hearing about this?

Emma Hart
From: Christchurch
Since: Nov 2006
Posts: 2629
Moderator

Posted at 3:26PM on 27 Jan 09. Permalink.

Purely out of interest, did you write this before or after hearing about this?

Wow. Before.

"Alan's images are fantastic and they really capture the essence of what we do every day," Borthwick said.

Erm...

3410
From: Auckland
Since: Jan 2007
Posts: 1321

Posted at 3:44PM on 27 Jan 09. Permalink.

Y'know, when I saw that story, I thought, Emma Hart'll be all over this.
So, is it straight satire, or an actual pitch? The latter, I hope.

Hadyn Green
From: Wellington
Since: Nov 2006
Posts: 1802
Moderator

Posted at 3:54PM on 27 Jan 09. Permalink.

Heh, unlike 'Megan', Robert was based on a person, a current AB. During the rewrites, I worked on making it less obvious who it was.

Tony Woodcock?

Edward Siddle
From: Wellington
Since: Sep 2008
Posts: 40

Posted at 4:13PM on 27 Jan 09. Permalink.

can't be tony woodcock if 'he got caught in a ruck; not his place' is meant to mean that Robert is a back. and if 'not the most famous man on the team' translates onto whoever it's based on then it's not dan carter either.

Emma Hart
From: Christchurch
Since: Nov 2006
Posts: 2629
Moderator

Posted at 4:26PM on 27 Jan 09. Permalink.

Tony Woodcock?

Actual spit-take here. Then I tried to picture his underwear ad.

can't be tony woodcock if 'he got caught in a ruck; not his place' is meant to mean that Robert is a back. and if 'not the most famous man on the team' translates onto whoever it's based on then it's not dan carter either.

All of this is correct.

giovanni tiso
From: Wellington
Since: Jun 2007
Posts: 4386

Posted at 4:28PM on 27 Jan 09. Permalink.

All of this is correct.

The "not the face! not the face!" guy. Whatever his name is.

From one season to the next I still forget about 60% of the names of the All Blacks. I'm clearly not ready to take the citizenship test.

Emma Hart
From: Christchurch
Since: Nov 2006
Posts: 2629
Moderator

Posted at 4:35PM on 27 Jan 09. Permalink.

The "not the face! not the face!" guy. Whatever his name is.

Giovanni is full of Win. I say we just call him 'the not the face guy' from now on.

Megan knows who we mean.

giovanni tiso
From: Wellington
Since: Jun 2007
Posts: 4386

Posted at 4:42PM on 27 Jan 09. Permalink.

I say we just call him 'the not the face guy' from now on.

Why not? Speaking as somebody who is fairly comfortable with his (hetero)sexuality, I do worry about his delicate features when he gets approached by a speeding brute. Damn if the guy doesn't look like he was sculpted by Phidias.

Bob Munro
From: Christchurch
Since: Aug 2007
Posts: 418

Posted at 4:56PM on 27 Jan 09. Permalink.

Thank you Emma for giving the love interest in this story such a noble name. :)

Emma Hart
From: Christchurch
Since: Nov 2006
Posts: 2629
Moderator

Posted at 4:57PM on 27 Jan 09. Permalink.

Oh! though this should not be taken as an insinuation that he, y'know, "plays for Canterbury".

BenWilson
Since: Nov 2006
Posts: 2918

Posted at 5:22PM on 27 Jan 09. Permalink.

I'm hooked. Next episode is when? My fav bit:

His thigh under her hands was hard and unyielding, like a bundle of pipes wrapped in hairy canvas.

Although I think it might be a wee bit explicit for Mills and Boon.

Danielle
From: PAS Women's XV Strategic Headquarters
Since: Nov 2006
Posts: 2249

Posted at 5:31PM on 27 Jan 09. Permalink.

Although I think it might be a wee bit explicit for Mills and Boon.

Mills and Boon (and Harlequin, who own Mills and Boon) have shexay sub-series called things like 'Desire' - they usually have red accents on the covers and are very explicit about throbbing manhoods and whatnot. (When I worked at a public library, we used to hold up those books as they came in and see which pages they fell open at: invariably the throbbing manhood scenes!)

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