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Posted at 8:16AM on 13 May 09. Permalink.

Can I add my own suggestions:

Corrections Minister: Garth McVicar

Head of Alcohol Advisory Council: Jessie Ryder

Supermayor: Charlotte Dawson

Minister for Arts: Colin Meads

Head of SIS: Bridgit Saunders

Posted at 8:31AM on 13 May 09. Permalink.

As an aside - does anyone else find the ASB ads a touch anti-semitic? certainly they'd never play in the US

Posted at 8:38AM on 13 May 09. Permalink.

The Goldstein ads just irritate me. I wish I banked at ASB so I could have the pleasure of closing my accounts.

As for the anti-semite thing, not sure. The thought had also occurred to me.

Posted at 8:50AM on 13 May 09. Permalink.

I have some more suggestions:

Attorney General: Joe Karam

Chief Judge of Waitangi Tribunal: Leighton Smith

Communications Minister: David Farrar

Army Chief of Staff: Bishop Tamaki

Posted at 9:00AM on 13 May 09. Permalink.

The guy who makes the TV commercials louder than the programmes

TV people have the greatest justification for this: they don't raise the volume during the ads, it's the advertisers who send them in a compressed audio format that makes them louder when they are played.

So turn down the freaking volume when the ads come on, dipshit.

Minister of Maori Affairs: Michael Lhaws

Posted at 9:10AM on 13 May 09. Permalink.

Minister of Maori Affairs Michael Lhaws

Isn't he about to be appointed head of the Geographical Board?

Posted at 9:30AM on 13 May 09. Permalink.

COE Abortian Clinic: Bill English

Posted at 9:34AM on 13 May 09. Permalink.

I hope these are all frontline appointments.

Front office, back line, backroom, front of house, back to front, Y-fronts ...

Posted at 9:40AM on 13 May 09. Permalink.

As an aside - does anyone else find the ASB ads a touch anti-semitic? certainly they'd never play in the US

I have been told that the Jewish community (and by community I imagine it is some representing body) is consulted on each ad before they screen, and the ad will not go ahead if they do not approve of it.

Posted at 9:51AM on 13 May 09. Permalink.

The guy who makes the TV commercials louder than the programmes

LOL

Narrow dynamic range - my arse!

Posted at 9:52AM on 13 May 09. Permalink.

I have been told that the Jewish community (and by community I imagine it is some representing body) is consulted on each ad before they screen, and the ad will not go ahead if they do not approve of it.

Are you serious, or are you pulling our leg? Why would they consult unless there was some perception of anti-semitism to start with?

Posted at 9:53AM on 13 May 09. Permalink.

Technically adverts on TV are not louder it is just that they more frequently hit the "peaks" (the loudest they are allowed to go) than a normal TV program.

So on a graph the advert's sound would be flat-lining along the top of the permissible volume while a normal program would have a graph like the southern alps.

Posted at 10:00AM on 13 May 09. Permalink.

Technically adverts on TV are not louder it is just that they more frequently hit the "peaks"

So

My boss isn't shouting at me he is just hitting the peaks more frequently

or

The jackhammer outside isn't louder than me banging a nail in with a hammer it just hits the peaks more frequently

Posted at 10:01AM on 13 May 09. Permalink.

yeah that does seem a little strange - instead they could simply have given the guy a more anglo name and avoided the whole issue - I have to think that if there is consultation it came after the first ads probably because someone did complain.

My family is nominally culturally jewish (but not religious) - we lived in the US for 20 years of OE - you'd never see an ad like that on TV there - all hell would break loose. My kids get a lot of crap at school 'jewish' is still a put down in high school in NZ even though we're about as jewish as we are presbyterian (and 'scottish' has about the same connotations - esp. here in Dunedin). I suspect the subtext I see in that ad probably goes over a lot of kiwi's heads but I've worried for a while that some day kids will be yelling "Goldstein!" at my kids - I guess I'm a little sensitive

Posted at 10:05AM on 13 May 09. Permalink.

The Goldstein ads are somewhat sensitive - I should know cause I wrote a somewhat outraged letter to the then head of marketing at ASB, protesting one of the first Goldstein ads (around 1999) that contained the statement "Econo-MISER", alluding to the 'miserly' nature of Jews, promoting one of their products.

(A pasty letter was sent back containing no apology. Amazing.)

That ad certainly got the Jewish community in an uproar, and since then the Goldstein ads have steered clear of such behaviour.

I'm not aware that any ads are run past the Jewish community - certainly I don't think it happens for the fags, dem brown folk, or differently abled, so it's not likely to happen for the Jewish community.

Posted at 10:06AM on 13 May 09. Permalink.

Since Goldstein is both lovable and getting the jump on his boss by continually extending his fact-finding mission to NZ, I'd consider it a positive depiction and not anti-anyone. Maybe fat American managers.

Posted at 10:21AM on 13 May 09. Permalink.

does anyone else find the ASB ads a touch anti-semitic?

It's always rubbed me up the wrong way, but since he's always portrayed as a lovable innocent abroad, it's hard to get too upset about it. It's his WASPy boss who's the fiendish financier.

I asked people on a local mailing list I belong about it, and the consensus seemed to be "meh." Whatever ire there was at the beginning has long since faded away.

Posted at 10:48AM on 13 May 09. Permalink.

but he's not the 'loveable innocent' he seems to be running a bunch of (ASB related) scams on the side without his boss's knowledge (his bagel business for example ....)

Posted at 12:41PM on 13 May 09. Permalink.

I feel sorry for Goldstein because he's stuck wearing the same style of spectacles. Those giant round '90s-style specs are so out-of-date now, but I'm sure it would cause too much of a ruckus for ASB's customers for them to update them.

Posted at 12:51PM on 13 May 09. Permalink.

I feel sorry for Goldstein because he's stuck wearing the same style of spectacles. Those giant round '90s-style specs are so out-of-date now, but I'm sure it would cause too much of a ruckus for ASB's customers for them to update them.

Were they ever meant to be considered stylish? Smart banking execs would have got laser correction by now, which will hopefully pay off for them when trying to spot new listings in the job pages.

Posted at 4:13PM on 13 May 09. Permalink.

I always thought Goldstein was meant to be the hero. Aren't we meant to admire him for outwitting his boss, despite his bumbling behaviour? We like him because he likes us. I see him as an American stereotype, not a Jewish one. I suspect many younger NZers have no idea what that even is, although some may be inclined to torment other kids at school for any silly reason. I think if you were an obvious Presbyterian/Rasta/vegan/wiccan you might get picked on too. Or not, depending on the school and the individual.

Posted at 4:57PM on 13 May 09. Permalink.

does anyone else find the ASB ads a touch anti-semitic?

ergo ASB must be an acronym for Anti-Semitic Bastards !! : )

or was Mr Slack intimating that Emmanuel Goldstein
would Govern the Reserve Bank after all the world is ripe for
Oligarchical Collectivism. Bollard best get out of the Working Men's club and back into some serious training...

yrs Winston Smith
(consultant to The Emir of Temuka)

Posted at 6:58PM on 13 May 09. Permalink.

Since I'm not a consumer of television, I, too thought Goldstein might be an Orwellian reference...

Posted at 7:32PM on 13 May 09. Permalink.

Mercifully, I'm no longer a consumer of ads for the most part (thanks GB-PVR).

The jackhammer outside isn't louder than me banging a nail in with a hammer it just hits the peaks more frequently

That's an OK analogy, but it's rather more like changing the sound of the jackhammer so that the quiet bits in between are almost as loud as the main strikes.

The ads are not objectively louder, they just have fewer quiet bits, and seem louder.

It's a bit like applying the commons dilemma to sound. Left to their own devices, the ads are not going to get quieter for fear of missing out. The television companies could step in, but choose not to.

The same issue applies to music. If you make a mix of songs from different CDs, some will sound louder than others. Programs like iTunes have a feature to equalize this, but generally over the past 20 years bands have all been trying to sound louder.

Posted at 7:54PM on 13 May 09. Permalink.

I, too thought Goldstein might be an Orwellian reference...

John, Ian, no. I was slumming it. It seemed apt.

Posted at 8:18PM on 13 May 09. Permalink.

The same issue applies to music. If you make a mix of songs from different CDs, some will sound louder than others. Programs like iTunes have a feature to equalize this, but generally over the past 20 years bands have all been trying to sound louder.

The technical term for squishing low (and high) volume bits closer to the average so that there's a constant volume level is compression , if you want to google up this hateful phenomenon.

Posted at 8:25PM on 13 May 09. Permalink.

I was deliberately avoiding the technical term ;)

Posted at 8:33PM on 13 May 09. Permalink.

I was slumming it

ah well. that's swell,
orwell that ends well...
insofar as tenets go
- it's "a slum dank case"
(George that is,
Tenet not Orwell)

speaking of boom boom and bust
wasn't Cleopatra bitten by an ASB?

yrs Con Vole-Looted

Posted at 8:53PM on 13 May 09. Permalink.

When 30 second ads are made they take great care to modulate and technically bring the sound levels right up to the permissible level. Programs such as dramas, comedies etc cannot spend the time or money to fiddle levels so keep a safe average level below permissible levels. Therefore ads are at the right loudness. Other items are less loud.

Posted at 9:12PM on 13 May 09. Permalink.

I think there are some reasonably quick and dirty software based fixes that can be used Ian, but television programmes are also not aiming to GRAB your attention all the time. Whispered bits are actually whispered, and loud noises can be used for dramatic effect. In contrast, the ads are our to grab attention. I don't think it would be necessarily desirable to compress a drama for example.

Ooh. This is interesting, and disingenuous by TV3

Also, on the so-called Loudness War in music. Check out the animated gif at the top of the page, showing the same Beatles song re-mastered 4 times in 20 years.