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OnPoint: Angry Fisk of Rightwing Thinktank for Entertainment Purposes

Posted at 5:17PM on 13 Jan 10. Permalink.

Dear Dr Oliver Hartwich, research fellow at the Centre for Independent Studies: You, sir, are a grossly ignorant douche.

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Dear Dr Oliver Hartwich, research fellow at the Centre for Independent Studies: You, sir, are a grossly ignorant douche.

It's a nice concept for an op-ed, the idea that the pornography industry is a hotbed of innovation. It must have even seemed nicer, when you had the genius idea of attaching “social improvement” to the end of that sentence. It allows you to talk about porn, *and* about how every slither of capitalism is awesome.

Shame that you don't know what you're talking about.

On Monday the [Sydney Morning] Herald reported from the Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas where 3D porn was the hot issue for technology geeks this year. A porn actress, who had just starred in one of the industry's first 3D films, was quoted as being ''very excited'' to pioneer this new field. She should be. Once again, the porn industry turns out to be a force for good - unintentionally.

Schools will use new 3D television techniques to teach. Imagine how geography lessons will come alive if classes can virtually wander in faraway places using 3D glasses. Physics and chemistry experiments too dangerous or complicated for classrooms could also be shown on a 3D screen.

You know that 3D television is just an optical illusion, right? If there's a 3D porn star facing you on the 3D television, you can't go behind the TV and see her ass. Likewise, 3D glasses won't allow you wander virtually in a 3D world. An ability to explore in the third dimension requires the information to be stored in 3D. Such technology won't be available until well into the distant future, in a world where America has a black president, and where electricity is as common as running water.

Did you even Google “3D maps”? What decade are you living in that 3D maps have to be “imagined”?

And have you even been to school? What kind of physics or chemistry experiments are better understood with 3D video than with 2D video? Is looking at a beaker in 3D more informative than seeing it in 2D? Are you going to illustrate projectile motion experiments with “OMG – it's coming right at you! (thus making it virtually impossible to see what it's actually doing)”?

If experiments are too dangerous to perform in schools, how can students see them? WITH VIDEOS!! BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT 3D VIDEOS ARE. **VIDEOS**!!

Christ.

Before you and your thinktank declare 3D television to be porn's gift to children, you ought to have a clue about what it actually is. 3D television adds fake depth perception. So does drawing shadows and shades. It's pretty cool as an experience, but it adds very little information.

Should the parents of the future wish to thank the brains behind these teaching improvements, they would be surprised. Far from being the result of some philanthropic engagement, the new technologies will have been conceived not in an ivory tower but as a byproduct of the sex industry.”

You, sir, are just plain making shit up.

Do you have any factual basis to claim that 3D television is somehow there because of the porn industry? That it was even developed by the porn industry?

The porn industry buys 3D equipment. Great. But rather than crediting people who use the technology with its development, perhaps you should credit the people who developed the technology for its development? Maybe? Just a little?

You've given porn credit for a technology that it didn't invent or create, you've claimed that the technology can do things that it can't (while other technologies have been doing those things for a decade), and then you've claimed that because porn brought such miraculous gifts into the world, and because it's greedy, therefore greed is a bringer of gifts into the world.

No, I think you've just made a case for greed being 3D.

And then, you said:

That lazy government officials could be preferable was demonstrated nicely in Hong Kong. When it was still a British crown colony, its financial secretary, Sir John Cowperthwaite could not be bothered collecting extensive statistics; he just kept taxes low and regulation to a minimum. Whether this was genius or just plain laziness, it definitely helped to make Hong Kong one of the most prosperous places on the planet.”

Maybe the massive influx of capital, skilled and unskilled labour was significant too? Maybe people didn't move to Hong Kong for the low taxes and the liberal regulatory regime, but for the absence of a civil war and a cultural revolution? Maybe? Just a little?

Dr Oliver Hartwich, research fellow at the Centre for Independent Studies, you and your organisation claim to champion innovation and enterprise, but you show utter indifference to the science, technology and reality on which innovation and enterprises is built.

Or, you're a mole who've just done a fantastic job of discrediting the CIS.

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Lucy Stewart
From: Christchurch, NZ
Since: Nov 2006
Posts: 992

Posted at 5:17PM on 13 Jan 10. Permalink.

That post, I must say, was beautiful. And yet terrifying.

But rather than crediting people who use the technology with its development, perhaps you should credit the people who developed the technology for its development? Maybe? Just a little?

This bit actually makes me a bit sick, recalling as it does all the times that science and technology get credited not to the actual people who do the actual work, but the pretty people who use it.

Newsflash: forensics is done by ordinary, non-porn-star people in boring, windowless laboratories. Very few glass walls and flashing computers are involved. New technology is invented, by and large, by people in other boring, windowless rooms. Cool space science is not done by astronauts, it's done by engineers in boring, windowless rooms. Can we have some love for the non-pretty people in boring, windowless rooms here?

Keith Ng
From: Auckland
Since: Nov 2006
Posts: 311
Moderator

Posted at 5:25PM on 13 Jan 10. Permalink.

Like so?

http://xkcd.org/683/

Paul Campbell
From: Dunedin
Since: Nov 2006
Posts: 1181

Posted at 5:27PM on 13 Jan 10. Permalink.

While I didn't go to CES this year I have friends who did ... first of all CES where they were touting all the 3D TVs is not a porn convention .... but every year across town the porn industry does have a show always at the same week, I guess it helps get the punters in ....

My friends who went (and who don't do 3D TV or porn, as far as I know) tell me that the 3d TVs cause massive headaches - at least wandering the show floors and looking at them did - they didn't say anything about the porn

Tze Ming Mok
From: Hackney, the Mt Roskill of the North
Since: Nov 2006
Posts: 101
Moderator

Posted at 5:35PM on 13 Jan 10. Permalink.

Maybe people didn't move to Hong Kong for the low taxes and the liberal regulatory regime, but for the absence of a civil war and a cultural revolution? Maybe? Just a little?

snort!

Hearted.

Oh wait, this isn't a Gawker blog.

Steve Barnes
From: The City of Ales
Since: Dec 2006
Posts: 1955

Posted at 5:55PM on 13 Jan 10. Permalink.

My friends who went (and who don't do 3D TV or porn, as far as I know) tell me that the 3d TVs cause massive headaches

When porn gives you a headache it rather destroys its purpose doesn't it?
"No thank you dear, I have a headache".

Sacha
From: Ak
Since: May 2008
Posts: 5312

Posted at 6:22PM on 13 Jan 10. Permalink.

Maybe it's homeopathic

Lucy Stewart
From: Christchurch, NZ
Since: Nov 2006
Posts: 992

Posted at 7:07PM on 13 Jan 10. Permalink.

Like so?
http://xkcd.org/683/

I have a serious need to frame that cartoon, put it on my wall, and point emphatically at it when people ask what I do.

Rich of Observationz
From: Back in Wellington
Since: Nov 2006
Posts: 2005

Posted at 7:23PM on 13 Jan 10. Permalink.

But rather than crediting people who use the technology with its development, perhaps you should credit the people who developed the technology for its development?

Word.

But that's standard practice in this world, where people consider themselves "geeks" even though they haven't created anything original ever - just because they know which Apple product they're going to buy next and can cut-and-paste the views of Richard Stallmann with fluency.

(grumps)

Steve Barnes
From: The City of Ales
Since: Dec 2006
Posts: 1955

Posted at 7:26PM on 13 Jan 10. Permalink.

I have a serious need to frame that cartoon, put it on my wall, and point emphatically at it when people ask what I do.

Cool, all those flashing lights and backlit displays. Do you get to say "Let's GO!" often?
:-)

Rich of Observationz
From: Back in Wellington
Since: Nov 2006
Posts: 2005

Posted at 7:28PM on 13 Jan 10. Permalink.

Also:

What kind of physics or chemistry experiments are better understood with 3D video than with 2D video?

A proper experiment is one that leaves the windows cracked, glassware embedded in the ceiling and the class being evacuated coughing onto the front lawn.

Sadly, today's kids don't learn to handle energetic materials at school and are forced to rectify this attempting reductive amination by trial and error at home.

Grace Dalley
From: Christchurch
Since: Nov 2008
Posts: 41

Posted at 7:40PM on 13 Jan 10. Permalink.

I have a serious need to frame that cartoon, put it on my wall, and point emphatically at it when people ask what I do.

Lucy, that's what you do? Awesome :-)

Can we have some love for the non-pretty people in boring, windowless rooms here?

<3 <3 <3

Islander
From: Big O, Mahitahi, Te Wahi Pounemu
Since: Feb 2007
Posts: 1836

Posted at 7:41PM on 13 Jan 10. Permalink.

Or they join my whanau-only Molotov class-

(catch-2<3)

Islander
From: Big O, Mahitahi, Te Wahi Pounemu
Since: Feb 2007
Posts: 1836

Posted at 7:41PM on 13 Jan 10. Permalink.

Exceptions made for promising (i.e missing fingers) applicants.

Paul Campbell
From: Dunedin
Since: Nov 2006
Posts: 1181

Posted at 7:53PM on 13 Jan 10. Permalink.

Rich - well those lab safety demonstrations would be enhanced by bits of glass shrapnel appearing to fly over your shoulder - otherwise 3D video for schools - meh

Keith Ng
From: Auckland
Since: Nov 2006
Posts: 311
Moderator

Posted at 8:30PM on 13 Jan 10. Permalink.

My friends who went (and who don't do 3D TV or porn, as far as I know) tell me that the 3d TVs cause massive headaches - at least wandering the show floors and looking at them did - they didn't say anything about the porn

Maybe it'd work better if they were on a bed that was vibrating at the same frequency. Or maybe it's the viewing angle. Nah, I'm sticking with the vibrating-bed-required theory.

giovanni tiso
From: Wellington
Since: Jun 2007
Posts: 4368

Posted at 8:35PM on 13 Jan 10. Permalink.

Lucy, that's what you do? Awesome :-)

Failing to completely rule out the presence of barium and radium in things: a tough job, but somebody's gotta do it.

Keith Ng
From: Auckland
Since: Nov 2006
Posts: 311
Moderator

Posted at 8:36PM on 13 Jan 10. Permalink.

A proper experiment is one that leaves the windows cracked, glassware embedded in the ceiling and the class being evacuated coughing onto the front lawn.

I take my chemistry cues from Breaking Bad: Safety gear, appropriate equipment, and an emergency eyewash station nearby. Safety first, manufacturing of methamphetamines second.

recordari
From: THIS IS ORCWOOD.
Since: Dec 2009
Posts: 596

Posted at 8:40PM on 13 Jan 10. Permalink.

Perhaps a 3D video would have helped me during sixth form chemistry.

Gossiping with friend I was passed a test tube.

"What's this?"
"Chloroform."
"What should I do with it?"
"Sniff it."
"Oh, Ok"

>-|o

Rich of Observationz
From: Back in Wellington
Since: Nov 2006
Posts: 2005

Posted at 10:05PM on 13 Jan 10. Permalink.

Best chemistry link:
http://pipeline.corante.com/archives/things_i_wont_work_with/

Sample quote:

The experimental section of the paper enjoins the reader to wear a face shield, leather suit, and ear plugs, to work behind all sorts of blast shields, and to use Teflon and stainless steel apparatus so as to minimize shrapnel. Hmm. Ranking my equipment in terms of its shrapneliferousness is not something that's ever occurred to me, I have to say. It's safe to assume that any procedure which involves considering which parts of the apparatus I'd prefer to have flying past me will not get much business in my lab, no matter how dashing I might look in a leather suit.

Joanna
From: Wellington
Since: Nov 2006
Posts: 546

Posted at 10:29PM on 13 Jan 10. Permalink.

Newsflash: forensics is done by ordinary, non-porn-star people in boring, windowless laboratories. Very few glass walls and flashing computers are involved....Can we have some love for the non-pretty people in boring, windowless rooms here?

That sounds like a pretty good set and plotline for a porno, if you ask me.

Pete Sime
From: Wellington
Since: Apr 2008
Posts: 29

Posted at 10:30PM on 13 Jan 10. Permalink.

So DARPA, CERN, Sir Tim Berners-Lee and Al Gore put all that effort into the internet just so you can jack it without the embarrassment of getting a dirty magazine at a newsagent.

Lucy Stewart
From: Christchurch, NZ
Since: Nov 2006
Posts: 992

Posted at 7:25AM on 14 Jan 10. Permalink.

Lucy, that's what you do? Awesome :-)

Not precisely, but with the exception of some minor details ("I can say that this strain is probably not enterotoxic. Unless I set the conditions wrong. Or forgot to add the DNA. Or it's mutated from the sequence on Genbank.") it certainly looks very much like what I'm doing right now, especially when I run out of stuff to do and resort to staring at the PCR machine in the hope that it will magically go faster.

recordari
From: THIS IS ORCWOOD.
Since: Dec 2009
Posts: 596

Posted at 9:56AM on 14 Jan 10. Permalink.

Ironically, after my inauspicious beginnings, I now find myself managing a small laboratory, and unlike Lucy, I find Colorimetric assays quite sexy, and if you'll excuse me I'm just going to have a quiet moment with the HPLC, and Electro-Chemical Detector, which must surely have been spawned from the porn industry. What with the injector ports, pumps and columns and... sorry, where were we?

Oh yes, xkcd. Mmm, yes, good.

Lucy Stewart
From: Christchurch, NZ
Since: Nov 2006
Posts: 992

Posted at 10:40AM on 14 Jan 10. Permalink.

unlike Lucy, I find Colorimetric assays quite sexy

Spend three hours trying to get first-year university students to do them correctly and that embarrassing problem will go away very quickly, I promise.

recordari
From: THIS IS ORCWOOD.
Since: Dec 2009
Posts: 596

Posted at 10:53AM on 14 Jan 10. Permalink.

Ah yes, I guess I was looking at it from an aesthetic viewpoint. "Oh, look at the pretty colours".

Teaching it would be an entirely different matter. "Yes the colours are pretty, but could you just please concentrate on the $500 auto-pipette, because you just stuck it in sulfuric acid." That sort of thing?

Lucy Stewart
From: Christchurch, NZ
Since: Nov 2006
Posts: 992

Posted at 11:01AM on 14 Jan 10. Permalink.

Teaching it would be an entirely different matter. "Yes the colours are pretty, but could you just please concentrate on the $500 auto-pipette, because you just stuck it in sulfuric acid." That sort of thing?

More like "turning the pipetter upside-down when you have fluid in the tip does not make it work better. No, really. Really."

Sacha
From: Ak
Since: May 2008
Posts: 5312

Posted at 11:03AM on 14 Jan 10. Permalink.

Oh yes, xkcd. Mmm, yes, good.

Lolnui

Craig Ranapia
From: North Shore, Auckland
Since: Nov 2006
Posts: 7160

Posted at 11:31AM on 14 Jan 10. Permalink.

Newsflash: forensics is done by ordinary, non-porn-star people in boring, windowless laboratories. Very few glass walls and flashing computers are involved.

Pointless live cross: The Miami-Dade, New York and Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Departments would really love to have that much money. Just as I'd love a pony and sexy quiet time with Russell Tovey.

Life is frustration and disappointment. Pictures as soon as they come to hand.

David Hood
From: Dunedin
Since: May 2007
Posts: 52

Posted at 11:41AM on 14 Jan 10. Permalink.

Rather topically, Slashdot this morning linked to an itworld story which notes that the Adult Industry is being very slow and cautious to go into 3D, which somewhat undercuts Dr Hartwich's line of argument.

The article

James Green
From: Dunedin
Since: Nov 2006
Posts: 579

Posted at 1:00PM on 14 Jan 10. Permalink.

[6th form chemistry]
"What's this?"
"Chloroform."
"What should I do with it?"
"Sniff it."
"Oh, Ok"

I inadvertantly inhaled a teensy bit of chlorine gas while attempting to make said substance. Ooops.

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OnPoint: Angry Fisk of Rightwing Thinktank for Entertainment Purposes