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Posted at 4:08PM on 16 Dec 07. Permalink.

I'll think more, but this Christmas is my first with a neice, and man do I wish it would hurry up and arrive already :-)

Posted at 4:16PM on 16 Dec 07. Permalink.

Graeme,

Is that because she's bugging you, or because you can't wait to see how much she enjoys it?

Its important: one makes you a grinch, the other makes you an indulgent uncle. (no value judgement here: both have their place)

Posted at 5:06PM on 16 Dec 07. Permalink.

Here we go.

Posted at 5:08PM on 16 Dec 07. Permalink.

Given that she's not yet one, and I've met her once, I'm pretty sure it's not the former. She might not even realise it's her first Christmas, but I will...

Posted at 5:11PM on 16 Dec 07. Permalink.

Here we go.

So did you ever post the recipe for stuffed turkey with cranberry & orange salsa?

Posted at 5:13PM on 16 Dec 07. Permalink.

I don't think I did. I'll look it up when I'm back at the farm these holidays.

Posted at 11:21PM on 16 Dec 07. Permalink.

It's a bit weird being in Japan during Christmas. I've now been trapped here 10 years in a row. Actual religious content = zero. It's not even a holiday as such (half the time I have had to attend meetings on campus on the 25th). It's more characterised by a carolling cacophony of commercialism, and an accompanying confusion of American cargo culture. Go into a supermarket and you'll see plastic nodding Santas, fir trees, and a soundtrack of Rudolph/ Jingle Bells/ etc. Many neighbourhoods put up illuminated decorations: so if I wander down the back streets, I can see the shapes of Christmas trees, Santas, reindeer, Frosty the Snowman ... and Hello Kitty ... and a giant Pooh.

Posted at 9:20AM on 17 Dec 07. Permalink.

I suppose no one is going to tell the Tales of Family Knockdown Dragout Fights, since NZ is so small and there's bound to be blowback from the wrong person reading these stories... I'll keep my local ones on the down-low too, in that case. (Or am I the only person with nutbar relatives?)

In America, I did once attend a giant family Christmas where there was an actual crack-baby in attendance, and there was a giant showdown when his grandparents attempted to take him away from his teenage mother to go to the doctor. That girl screamed like a fire-engine siren.

Christmases in Louisiana often included a Christmas Eve by an outside bonfire, roasting an entire pig over the flames and drinking whiskey and 7Up until all participants were completely sozzled. Large chunks of the crackling had usually been stolen by the people who couldn't hold out for lunch the next day (ie my cousin and me). That pig roast should probably go in the 'memorable meals' thread too, now that I think about it...

Posted at 9:42AM on 17 Dec 07. Permalink.

Christmases in Louisiana often included a Christmas Eve by an outside bonfire, roasting an entire pig over the flames

Did you have the traditional deep-fried turkey as well?

Posted at 9:58AM on 17 Dec 07. Permalink.

Deep-fried turkey should not be scoffed at, for it is some *good shit*. I mean, my arteries are now, fundamentally, aluminium tubing filled with chicken wire and shortening, but it was worth it.

Posted at 10:46AM on 17 Dec 07. Permalink.

Me? Scoff? Never - I am in awe of anyone who can cook in what is essentially an improvised explosive device. Let alone cook something that turns out looking so mouthwateringly bad for you.

Posted at 11:40AM on 17 Dec 07. Permalink.

I mean, my arteries are now, fundamentally, aluminium tubing filled with chicken wire and shortening, but it was worth it.

Metaphor of the week, right there.

Your first Christmas with kids who are old enough to appreciate it is, well, magical. Awesome. I have photos somewhere of my fourteen month old son ripping into his first Christmas stocking, and the sheer joy on his face is cynic-melting.

This morning I found my ten year old daughter's secret letter to Santa. It started off with 'Do you really exist? I don't think you do' and progressed to 'List of Stuff I Want'. Nothing wrong with covering your bases...

And I was going to tell the hilarious story of the time my partner gave me a cardboard Chris Cairns, and then I remembered that was a birthday present...

(Or am I the only person with nutbar relatives?)

Define 'nutbar'. My dad put an axe through the Christmas cake one year.

Posted at 11:50AM on 17 Dec 07. Permalink.

Define 'nutbar'. My dad put an axe through the Christmas cake one year.

Depends if it was done in an ironic 'geez, this cake's a bit dense' way, or in more of a 'Heeeeere's Johnny!" Jack Nicholson manner.

Posted at 12:01PM on 17 Dec 07. Permalink.

Define 'nutbar'. My dad put an axe through the Christmas cake one year.

One christmas a former in-law set fire to his eyebrows. Although that probably constitutes less "nutbar", more "catastrophically hirsute".

Posted at 12:05PM on 17 Dec 07. Permalink.

Depends if it was done in an ironic 'geez, this cake's a bit dense' way, or in more of a 'Heeeeere's Johnny!" Jack Nicholson manner.

Aiming for the former, succeeding in the latter. I think he was also aiming for ironic when he shot my cat.

Posted at 12:42PM on 17 Dec 07. Permalink.

given we don't do xmas, this year we'll be spending 25 dec on the road, driving from hamilton to levin with 4 under fives, 1 teenager and a multitude of adults. some of this group (including 3 of the under fives) will have got off the plane after a 7-hour flight the day before. i'm sure there will be some stories to tell by the end of that day...

but i thought is was time for my kids to see the south island, given they've been to europe, asia & australia. let's hope it doesn't flood this december - the heavy rain warnings this morning didn't make me feel too optimistic!

Posted at 12:45PM on 17 Dec 07. Permalink.

Anjam,

The trick is lots of stops at places where they can run around. Rest areas away from the road, etc.

A really good trick is to include a stop at the hot pools at Tokaanu.

Little buggers soon fall asleep afterwards.

Posted at 2:06PM on 17 Dec 07. Permalink.

One year I made Christmas day last about 44 hours by flying from Auckland to Canada. I had already had most of a Christmas day in the sun before boarding the flight, had about 20 hours of Christmas in transit (counting the stop at Los Angeles), and after that still had a few hours to share presents and food with family.

It was all surprisingly low-key if somewhat surreal. The airports were very quiet. The flight crew out of Auckland wore Hawaiian shirts and were particularly generous with the bubbly and free chocolates. No-one on board was overly demanding or whiny. The only unnerving thing was the nun with guitar sitting a few rows back from me - fortunately she didn't sing and nothing ill came of it. I arrived safely to a white Christmas in Vancouver. We had a barbecue.

Posted at 2:16PM on 17 Dec 07. Permalink.

but i thought is was time for my kids to see the south island, given they've been to europe, asia & australia. let's hope it doesn't flood this december - the heavy rain warnings this morning didn't make me feel too optimistic!

The summer forecast for the south -- warm and dry -- is good for tourism, if not for farming, so you should be okay.

It's an intriguing experience joining the South Island tourist trail. We found it prudent to avoid mentioning we were from Auckland though ...

Posted at 2:52PM on 17 Dec 07. Permalink.

We found it prudent to avoid mentioning we were from Auckland though ...

Yeah, but us Hamiltownians are safe enough - just don't mention dairy farming...