Ways to Go

  • Russell Brown,

    New Zealanders are, it seems, moving away from the traditional funeral, reclaiming the rituals of passing as they have those of marriage. You can do it your way: so how do you want to go? Serene? Somewhere special? Or with a bang?

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 18512 posts Report Reply

57 Responses

First ←Older Page 1 2 3 Newer→ Last

  • andrew llewellyn,

    I'll probably be bronzed & stood at the bottom of the garden. Keep the birds away from the fruit trees. Possibly holding a tray so that people can sit in deckchairs nearby & rest their drinks.

    But seriously, there's a guy called Justin Duckworth, he's an ordained anglican vicar from Waikanae, he's got dreads, has been known to officiate in shorts & bare feet & gets a line of people after anything he's done queueing up to book him for their own funerals & weddings. He's been a professional clown & unicyclist.

    He did my sister's funeral & in keeping with her beliefs kept it free of religion.

    However the day pans out, I think I'd like Justin officiating.

    Since Nov 2006 • 2073 posts Report Reply

  • Richard Llewellyn,

    Heh - I'll be asking Justin to attend to mine as well - he is the man.

    And I'll be using my life insurance claim to pay for the Straitjacket Fits to reform and play 'Down in Splendour'

    Or maybe the Pixies to play 'Debaser' .... might need to bump up my coverage.

    Mt Albert • Since Nov 2006 • 399 posts Report Reply

  • andrew llewellyn,

    Mmmm.... I wonder if mine would stretch to getting Leanard Nimoy to get back together & perform The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins.

    Since Nov 2006 • 2073 posts Report Reply

  • Andrew Hubbard,

    Apologies for the shameless but highly relevant plug which follows..

    I've just designed and am in the process of launching a range of contemporary, eco-friendly coffins. Made of engineered bamboo, there's currently two - an adult version and one specifically for infants (a truly tragic event but not uncommon).

    A very cobbled-together holding page here: www.tenderrest.co.nz
    Hover over the bambino and nextgen icons and right-click/view image for a better view.
    Hover on the contact details ad send me an email if you'd like a brochure with the details.

    Or if you're in Wellington, they're on display at Pataka gallery for another few days as part of the Inventor Next Door exhibition.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 18 posts Report Reply

  • Che Tibby,

    i've always thought cremated if i die of illness, and buried if i die in a firey crash.

    and! hopefully buried in one of andrews coffins, and not compressed into a diamond.

    personally i'm a great fan of the wake. when my maternal grandmother died, the snide old cow she was, my grandfather sat in their lounge and all her sisters turned up. the old people shared stories, we all drank wine, and i have never been so happy-sad ever since. let's face it, it's hard to get septagenarians to rage out. but we made do.

    the music at the official-type ceremony will have to be "lay me down" by the frames.

    the back of an envelope • Since Nov 2006 • 2024 posts Report Reply

  • Pauline Dawson,

    I've always wanted to be composted -which isn't really allowed but there is a move to natural burials which I think suits me. NO icky chemicals etc. There was some ancient celtic (?) ritual which involved being painted red and placed in a foetal position in the ground which appeals. And a big party - no sad funerally thing

    Mosgiel • Since Feb 2008 • 26 posts Report Reply

  • t. edison,

    i'd like to ejected into space... or failing that have explosives strapped to my body & ejected from a plane with the fuse lit...

    wellingtron • Since Nov 2006 • 17 posts Report Reply

  • Craig Ranapia,

    I don't want to be facile, but anyone who attends my funeral is going to have to suffer through a Catholic funeral with all the smells and bells. Sorry, folks, but it's not all about you. (Though I'm sure sure that I'll be able to get away with All Things Dull And Ugly as the Recessional:

    All things dull and ugly,
    All creatures short and squat,
    All things rude and nasty,
    The Lord God made the lot.

    Each little snake that poisons,
    Each little wasp that stings,
    He made their brutish venom,
    He made their horrid wings.

    All things sick and cancerous,
    All evil great and small,
    All things foul and dangerous,
    The Lord God made them all.

    Each nasty little hornet,
    Each beastly little squid,
    Who made the spikey urchin,
    Who made the sharks, He did.

    All things scabbed and ulcerous,
    All pox both great and small,
    Putrid, foul and gangrenous,
    The Lord God made them all.

    AMEN.

    North Shore, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 11783 posts Report Reply

  • Helen Breeze,

    I don't actually care what happens to my body. Harvest the organs, dispose of it tidily, but I don't feel strongly about respecting my physical body once the life is gone from it. Perhaps that will all change when I feel more mortal (I am in my 20s after all).

    Has anyone seen Hunter S.Thompson's memorial that he designed himself? Hilarious monstrosity typical of the man :

    "Thompson's ashes were fired from a cannon atop a 153-foot tower of his own design (in the shape of a double-thumbed fist clutching a peyote button) to the tune of Bob Dylan's "Mr. Tambourine Man", known to be the song most respected by the late writer. Red, white, blue, and green fireworks were launched along with his ashes."

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hunter_S._Thompson#Funeral

    Auckland • Since May 2008 • 2 posts Report Reply

  • Tracy Pilet,

    I’d like to be cremated and have the ashes scattered from the top of the sand hills at Himitangi Beach. Lots of happy childhood memories of running along the top of the hills (before the marram plantings) with the wind blowing me up/down and the feel of the cold iron-sand thudding beneath me. Be cool to be part of the hills.
    The only problem will be picking the one day a year when the wind won’t blow me straight back into those doing the scattering, although I kind of like the idea of finally really getting up a few peoples noses.

    Waikato • Since May 2008 • 4 posts Report Reply

  • Nick D'Angelo,

    You can do it your way: so how do you want to go? ... with a bang?

    Oh god, yes please. Blame Denny Crane but I want to go out like James Howard Marshall II* (but not like Hef, cos that's - y'know - just too much).

    As for the actual funeral ... meh. I'm gone.

    (*OK, so he didn't actually die doing it but let's not let the facts get in the way of a common male fantasy)__ (What do you mean I'm on my own on this one?)__

    Simon Laan • Since May 2008 • 156 posts Report Reply

  • Shep Cheyenne,

    For god sake whoever does a funeral must know the person, nothing like going to one where they haven't got a clue what's in the box.

    I'm keen on the family friends ones I've been to. We filled in the grave, would have been happy to dig it as well. It gives something for you to do, which at a time of powerlessness over all other things, can help.

    Sorry can't deal with the idea of being burnt, but under a the grapefruit tree/Kowhai/Totara would be nice.

    Since Oct 2007 • 927 posts Report Reply

  • andrew llewellyn,

    For god sake whoever does a funeral must know the person

    It does help. Luckily my family have known Justin since he was a toddler.

    Since Nov 2006 • 2073 posts Report Reply

  • Raymond A Francis,

    I sort of like the idea of one of my uncles send off
    Funeral in one of Cristchurches trendiest churches ( vicar later done for shop lifting if you need clues)
    Front pew filled with a couple of ex-wifes, fiance, and possible a mistress/girl friend. All talking to each other in a civilised way
    Rest of church filled with sobbing grandchildren and family

    Unfortunatly I missed it as a good mate was drowned that week and that was a tear jerker

    Not saying that would be my choice but it was in the style of the man, who really did start with bugger all

    Me a quick impersonal service will be just fine, maybe a booze up afterwards, who cares I will be dead

    45' South • Since Nov 2006 • 529 posts Report Reply

  • andrew llewellyn,

    who cares I will be dead

    Can't remember the circumstances exactly (and can't be arsed looking it up) but I once wondered (or read someone else's wondering) what would people like said at their funeral.

    Only response I recall was from David Slack, who would like to hear this at his funeral:

    "Look! He's moving!"

    Since Nov 2006 • 2073 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    Sorry can't deal with the idea of being burnt, but under a the grapefruit tree/Kowhai/Totara would be nice.

    I also would like this, just a tree no marker, but the last time I checked it wasn't legal.

    I'm just happy I've lived long enough that I'm now in a situation where I know my partner would prevent my mother from giving me a decent Christian burial.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4327 posts Report Reply

  • Kyle Matthews,

    I also would like this, just a tree no marker, but the last time I checked it wasn't legal.

    A guy from the UK was interviewed on national radio last week about this very matter. His business does it there. Hopefully it will be legalised here at some stage.

    I'd definitely want the marker though. It'd be a bit rude if 10 years later someone came along and chainsawed your tree down and used it for firewood.

    Since Nov 2006 • 6147 posts Report Reply

  • daleaway,

    Do you live on the Kapiti Coast?

    You can rot under a tree to your deceased heart's content there, as from last February:
    http://tinyurl.com/5yoxk6

    Since Jul 2007 • 178 posts Report Reply

  • Andrew Hubbard,

    "I also would like this, just a tree no marker, but the last time I checked it wasn't legal."

    Natural burial cemetaries are springing up all over NZ. The Wellington one opened a couple of weeks back, there are others aroud the country and more in process of being setup. Googling Natural Burials or similar will point you in the right drection.

    It's common practice at these places to plant a tree, but the grave location is also recorded by GPS (so you can find the right tree aterwards..!).

    Personally I find some of the eco-rhetoric a bit OTT and not entirely defensible (I did some calculations against the claim that cremation "used a large amount of energy" for instance, and figured it takes about the same amount of energy (gas or electricity) as about 30 litres of petrol - ie not a helluva lot in the context of how much was burnt en-route to the funeral and on the drive out to the cemetary...). But the idea of becoming tree-food is a nice one.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 18 posts Report Reply

  • Steve Barnes,

    I try to avoid going to funerals.......especially my own.

    The wireless north ;-) • Since Dec 2006 • 4613 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown,

    When my Dad died, his body was embalmed and brought home. I appreciated being able to sit with (and talk to) what was at least a symbol for who he'd been.

    But I love the idea of a natural burial. I finding something profound in the idea of my atoms being swiftly recycled for re-use by the Universe. And that doesn't go with embalming ...

    I like Kevin Ireland's idea of celebrating a good innings. Some of the happiest times in my life have been spent eating, drinking and talking with friends, and I won't mind not being able to participate. The throwing of the party is the thing.

    Music will be important: 'Messin' with the Kid' by The Saints to hold down the melancholy end, and some boofy dance music to cheer up the party later on.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 18512 posts Report Reply

  • Craig Ranapia,

    I've just designed and am in the process of launching a range of contemporary, eco-friendly coffins. Made of engineered bamboo

    Wow... Not a bad idea at all, but if I'm ever in the market for a Fair Trade ecocoffin I'd go for something that [http://www.naturalendings.co.uk/Willow-Bamboo-Coffins-Buy.html|**doesn't** scream "laundry hamper"]]. Remember, I'm a boy -- traumatic memories of wash day gone bad aren't the kind of badthink appropriate to the occasion.

    North Shore, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 11783 posts Report Reply

  • andrew llewellyn,

    When my Dad died, his body was embalmed and brought home. I appreciated being able to sit with (and talk to) what was at least a symbol for who he'd been.

    Funny, my sister's ashes went home this week after a couple of months sitting in a cupboard at the undertakers.

    My mum was worried that she was getting lonely down there. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry when she said that, but now, a couple of days later I do think its nice that she's back at home & maybe her family will appreciate her being near & maybe they'll talk to what is a symbol for who she had been.

    Since Nov 2006 • 2073 posts Report Reply

  • wendyf,

    Russell wrote:
    When my Dad died, his body was embalmed and brought home. I appreciated being able to sit with (and talk to) what was at least a symbol for who he'd been.

    I did that when my lovely husband died. I recall writing to you, Russell, about what a comfort it was, being able to read him jokes from the internet,stuff from Hard News. My kids worried that I was home by myself for those couple of days - I was never alone.

    His ashes lived in the wardrobe for a couple of years then we drove him up to Whangarei Heads where we'd sometimes anchored for the night and where we'd had our honeymoon. Mount Manaia looking on and the sun colouring the rocks and the sea. We scattered him with the last of the Glenfiddich.

    As for me - I don't much care - it'll be up to the kids really. I'm leaving info about the bamboo idea in my funeral file.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 76 posts Report Reply

  • Paul Rowe,

    I'd rather not be embalmed, just let the worms etc get stuck in. My only concrete request at this stage is that they play You're Gonna Miss Me as they carry me out of the place where the service is held (prob my wife's marae, I guess).

    A heartbreaking moment:

    We recently buried my 2 year-old nephew. After tea and sandwiches at his grandmother's house, my son asked who was going to go and collect Pressie, cos he'll be lonely and scared in the hole we'd put him in.

    Lake Roxburgh, Central Ot… • Since Nov 2006 • 557 posts Report Reply

First ←Older Page 1 2 3 Newer→ Last

Post your response…

Please sign in using your Public Address credentials…

Login

You may also create an account or retrieve your password.