Island Life by David Slack

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Island Life: Abusage

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  • David Slack,

    They can be merciless X holes, but they're mighty smart.

    Devonport • Since Nov 2006 • 599 posts Report Reply

  • Shep Cheyenne,

    Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa.

    I often over/miss use "Absolutely". I over use "Glorious", as in "Good & Glorius Morning to you", when other say "Hi".

    Use of big colourful, rich, and flowery words in conversation brings out positive emotions (at least in me).

    Spartan and dowdy language is boring, plain and depressing.

    It's a little trick to lift my spirits, if it pisses someone off, Tough titties.

    I'm also trying to introduce colour into mens clothing, orange and yellow shirt is the limit so far.

    Since Oct 2007 • 927 posts Report Reply

  • Don Christie,

    So, just to tie three threads together, I notice noone boasting possession of a rhyming quantum penis.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1615 posts Report Reply

  • Jackie Clark,

    I'm guilty of some of the above - I say heinous rhyming with anus, and I am often heard to say "absolutely" not only to denote agreement but degree of agreement. I'm also absolutely in agreement with Shep that big, rich, flowery words add colour to language and phrasing that may otherwise be a bit plain. I draw the line and orange and yellow clothing, however.

    Mt Eden, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 3121 posts Report Reply

  • samuel walker,

    I am as guilty of such missuse of our glorious language as I am of overuse of the phrase du jour [which around my neck of the urban woods is 'indeed', can you guess which criticaly acclaimed police drama I have been watching?].

    I promise to make more effort, however I cannot promise to not twist the language out of shape for my own fun. I find such fun makes the day much betterer.

    As happenstance would have it this gives me a chance to utilise todays favourite online discovery; OEDILF : The Omnificent English Dictionary In Limerick Form.

    Absolutely: a word where abuse
    Is apparent to all. No excuse
    Comes from those who agree
    Sycophantically
    And destroy its superlative use.

    Since Nov 2006 • 203 posts Report Reply

  • Robyn Gallagher,

    I don't like when people pronounce woman and women alike, which creates weird sounding sentences like "I have loved many woman."

    This seems to be a quirk of New Zealand English, so I will forgive it but not accept it.

    Wimmin, wimmin wimmin. There.

    Raglan • Since Nov 2006 • 1846 posts Report Reply

  • Jackie Clark,

    Oh, yes, Robyn. Absolutely.

    Mt Eden, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 3121 posts Report Reply

  • samuel walker,

    oh yeah,

    the other one im guilty of using too much this week; and muchly in the past; is copacetic. for any agreement and/or indication of total understanding.

    Since Nov 2006 • 203 posts Report Reply

  • Bart Janssen,

    I'm also trying to introduce colour into mens clothing, orange and yellow shirt is the limit so far.

    Not just mens clothing, all NZ clothing, mens and womens.

    We once took and American friend (yes some of them are nice it is a big country after all and there are bound to be some nice ones) to lunch in Auckland city and she looked around and asked "why is everyone wearing black? Did something bad happen?"

    Oh and while you're at it can someone turn the A/C on in the TV newsroom so the presenters don't feel the need to deliver the news in their undies? They are nice undies usually but it's just a little off-putting, I can't help but thing it's not something Walter would have done :).

    cheers
    Bart

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 3223 posts Report Reply

  • Paul Campbell,

    Speaking of Americans and language - I was flying down from Auckland on AirNZ on Sunday and the coffee was served in some cups, each with the name of an All Black and the position they played (collect the set! - I guess some marketting droid has decided that 12 yr old boys are the marketting demographic that makes the most decisions about air travel).

    Anyway the older American couple behind me spent at least 15 minutes trying to figure out why they both had cups with pictures of famous male hookers on them .... I must admit I just sat there trying not to giggle

    Dunedin • Since Nov 2006 • 2033 posts Report Reply

  • Carol Stewart,

    That's a fine limerick, Samuel.

    Heinous/penis and heinous/anus have to be fertile grounds for a limerick .. can anyone do better than:

    There once was a woman from Venus,
    Who committed a crime so heinous,
    That to hear people scoff,
    She'd have been better off,
    If she'd suddenly sprouted a... tail?!?

    [not original, from http://www.geocities.com/krishna_kunchith/humor/limericks.html]

    Christchurch • Since Jul 2008 • 633 posts Report Reply

  • Paul Campbell,

    I thing you just change the last line to:

    "If she'd suddenly sprouted an ... "

    that leaves the reader in the appropriate linguistic limbo (and it's meant to be read, not recited to rewally get the joke)

    Dunedin • Since Nov 2006 • 2033 posts Report Reply

  • Paul Campbell,

    perhaps:

    A body part was to veinous
    Resulting in pain that was heinous
    it all looked quite red
    'twas the doctor who said
    I'll have to remove his ....

    Dunedin • Since Nov 2006 • 2033 posts Report Reply

  • Hadyn Green,

    "I have loved many woman."

    In order to say that you must have a pencil moustache, an open neck shirt (possibly orange and yellow), gold chains, and lots of chest hair.

    And "woman" must be pronounced "woo-man"

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2081 posts Report Reply

  • Paul Campbell,

    rats! that should be "too veinous"

    Dunedin • Since Nov 2006 • 2033 posts Report Reply

  • James Francis,

    Might I suggest that, pronunciation notwithstanding, 'heinous' is consigned to the same deep, dark linguistic hole as 'absolutely'. The way I've heard it used to describe anything from the mildly irritating to the fractionally dire is... there's a word for it somewhere.

    St John's, Newfoundland • Since Nov 2006 • 112 posts Report Reply

  • Mark Thomas,

    i get annoyed by people who are "impacted" by things.

    "affected" seems more appropriate. unless you've been hit by a meteorite

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 315 posts Report Reply

  • Danielle,

    We once took and American friend (yes some of them are nice it is a big country after all and there are bound to be some nice ones) to lunch in Auckland city and she looked around and asked "why is everyone wearing black? Did something bad happen?"

    No, no! May random deities save us from American clothing! Those khaki pleated pants they all wear are an abomination. And the *jorts*. Endless, endless pairs of jorts. And the *shoes*. The white sneaker obsession! Argh!

    (Disclaimer: holder of a US passport, married to one, father is one, many of them are awesome, many of them dress well. But most of them... do not. Particularly in the south. So, so horrid.)

    Charo World. Cuchi-cuchi!… • Since Nov 2006 • 3623 posts Report Reply

  • Danielle,

    i get annoyed by people who are "impacted" by things.

    Me TOO. I blame the Americans for that as well. It just reminds me of bowels.

    Charo World. Cuchi-cuchi!… • Since Nov 2006 • 3623 posts Report Reply

  • James Francis,

    Ooh! Ooh!

    The absolute near-guaranteed certainty that anyone on TV from Mark Sainsbury down (or up) will say, "Congradulations".

    It has a 't'. Big grumpiness at that one.

    St John's, Newfoundland • Since Nov 2006 • 112 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    The way I've heard it used to describe anything from the mildly irritating to the fractionally dire is... there's a word for it somewhere.

    How about 'mildly irritating'?

    Mind you, after fifteen years of nagging my partner can now tell from my facial expression when he's said 'less' instead of 'fewer'.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4328 posts Report Reply

  • Grant McDougall,

    I loath it when "average" is used wrongly to signify poor, mediocre, appalling, bad, etc. Sports commentators are especially bad with this.
    If Daniel Carter averages, say, 20 points per game and in his next game he only scores, say, three, that is not an "average" performance, it is poor, mediocre, sub-standard, etc.

    I also hate it when sports commentators say that a player / team "lacks intestinal fortitude", when they mean "internal fortitude".
    Since when do intestines have to be brave ?

    Dunedin • Since Dec 2006 • 566 posts Report Reply

  • James Francis,

    Thank you, Emma.

    Has anyone here read the book, "Ex Libris" by Anne Fadiman. It's a delightful series of essays about books and the love of books. She has one where she writes about her and her family's trait of unerringly spotting literals and grammatical errors. I read it and realised that I was not alone! (A sad realisation.) Some people call us pedants but we know better.

    St John's, Newfoundland • Since Nov 2006 • 112 posts Report Reply

  • David Slack,

    I loath it when "average" is used wrongly to signify poor, mediocre, appalling, bad, etc. Sports commentators are especially bad with this.

    I do quite like the black-singleted understatement of 'pretty fucking average'.

    Devonport • Since Nov 2006 • 599 posts Report Reply

  • James Francis,

    Of course, if I'm being really pedantic, I would point out that I missed the question mark at the end of the second sentence.

    St John's, Newfoundland • Since Nov 2006 • 112 posts Report Reply

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