Island Life by David Slack

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Island Life: Abusage

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  • Danielle,

    I, personally, would not call those jorts. I'd call those cutoffs. The jort was never a pair of jeans, and is made specifically at shorts-length. Hemmed and everything.

    Charo World. Cuchi-cuchi!… • Since Nov 2006 • 3661 posts Report Reply

  • Sofie Bribiesca,

    In tee slogans, I quite like "I wish these were brains".

    I like 'if you can read this, you're staring at my tits'.

    heh, In creating a t shirt,I put a MRI image of my brain (after surgery) on my tits and followed it with ....and that happened! on the back.

    here and there. • Since Nov 2007 • 6265 posts Report Reply

  • andrew llewellyn,

    So we're talking about knee lwngth, denim shorts?

    Since Nov 2006 • 2074 posts Report Reply

  • Danielle,

    So we're talking about knee lwngth, denim shorts?

    I'm afraid so.

    My best American friend wears them all the time. He is a lovely, lovely man, but not overburdened with sartorial knowledge.

    Charo World. Cuchi-cuchi!… • Since Nov 2006 • 3661 posts Report Reply

  • Bart Janssen,

    So we're talking about knee lwngth, denim shorts?

    Nope not just denim. Often really crap material in such colours as pale yellow, light blue, soft pink, aqua etc. Any pastel colour will do.

    BTW I didn't mean to suggest for a second that Americans had taste in clothes, taste of any kind. Just that there are times when ya know just some colour would be nice. I know black goes with everything but the idea is that you might have something other than black with black. And no charcoal doesn't count.

    Oh and while I love the spell checker is there a way to make it stop suggesting that colour is spelt incorrectly?

    cheers
    Bart

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 3414 posts Report Reply

  • andrew llewellyn,

    In tee slogans, I quite like "I wish these were brains".

    One which made me smirk (around the age of 18, but which I still remember clearly), from the old Stiff record label was:

    If it ain't Stiff, it ain't worth a fuck.

    Since Nov 2006 • 2074 posts Report Reply

  • Sofie Bribiesca,

    Duh.

    My ultimate goal is one that says 'if you can read this you're too close', in Braille.

    Still laughing.:)

    here and there. • Since Nov 2007 • 6265 posts Report Reply

  • Danielle,

    If it ain't Stiff, it ain't worth a fuck.

    It is a source of great sadness to me that I once bought that tshirt online, but it never arrived...

    Charo World. Cuchi-cuchi!… • Since Nov 2006 • 3661 posts Report Reply

  • Bart Janssen,

    To self correct, apparently jorts have to be denim.

    I was thinking of those awful shorts-like things US women seem to wear in malls in the US. Somehow always the wrong length.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 3414 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha,

    How on earth did fashion crimes end up on two threads at once?

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 16754 posts Report Reply

  • Danielle,

    How on earth did fashion crimes end up on two threads at once?

    The PAS Women's XV! Hear us roar! (In numbers too big too ignore... etc.)

    Charo World. Cuchi-cuchi!… • Since Nov 2006 • 3661 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    How on earth did fashion crimes end up on two threads at once?

    Yeah, I crossed the streams. I'd be sorry but I'm not.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4369 posts Report Reply

  • Jackie Clark,

    At the risk of pissing monsieur slack off - absolutely.

    Mt Eden, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 3123 posts Report Reply

  • Josh Addison,

    Favourite linguistic bugbear: People (mis)using the phrase "hoist by his/her/their own petard" in such a way that it's clear they have no idea what a petard is, or what it means to be hoist by one.

    Favourite t-shirt slogan: Dunno... Frankie Says "Relax"?

    Jorts: No firm opinion, but I can't say I've had much exposure to them. Should I count myself lucky?

    Onehunga, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 297 posts Report Reply

  • David Slack,

    At the risk of pissing monsieur slack off - absolutely.

    That's literally heinous, Jackie. I think you know it too, girlfriend. At the end of the day, it's time to wake up and smell the coffee.

    Devonport • Since Nov 2006 • 599 posts Report Reply

  • Hadyn Green,

    <quote.The PAS Women's XV! Hear us roar!</quote>
    "PAS Wimmin's XV" surely?

    Oh and that's a bugbear for me: Roman numerals. I will always refer to the "First 15" etc. The Roman's did nothing to aid mathematics and have a horrible counting system.

    In terms of grammar hatred though I completely forgot "from whence". If you say "whence" you don't need to say "from"

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2081 posts Report Reply

  • Hadyn Green,

    Ah crap!
    first a bad quote tag and then an apostrophe catastrophe. That'll teach me to preview.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2081 posts Report Reply

  • Grant McDougall,

    Weird, I never took it to mean what you've all described it as. I always figured it meant "the all-players average" not their individual ones. By which I mean if Dan Cater only scores 3 points instead of his average of 20 (a figure I really must look up one day) then he's down to being an "average" player rather than the world's best first-five.

    You're missing my point, Hayden. Maybe talking about numbers was a bad example. But I meant that sports commentators do mis-use the word "average" when they clearly mean poor, bad, mediocre, appalling, hopeless, dreadful, etc, etc.

    To use two non-number-related examples: 1) if a halfback throws a hospital pass to a first-five, it gets described as "average", when, in fact, such passes are poor, bad, etc, etc. If it was an "average" pass, it would be a regulation, good, easy to catch pass.

    2) if a fullback makes a clearing kick and the ball slices off the side of his boot and bearly makes any ground, it gets described as an "average" kick, when, again, it is poor, bad, dreadful, etc. If it was an "average" kick it would be kicked well and make a bit of ground.

    Dunedin • Since Dec 2006 • 612 posts Report Reply

  • andrew llewellyn,

    Ye Olde!

    Ye frickin' Olde.

    Man, I hate Ye olde.

    Since Nov 2006 • 2074 posts Report Reply

  • James Francis,

    It's an olde but goode.

    St John's, Newfoundland • Since Nov 2006 • 117 posts Report Reply

  • andrew llewellyn,

    Well, I have to admit it's the non existent word "ye" that really steams my pudding.

    Since Nov 2006 • 2074 posts Report Reply

  • David Slack,

    Favourite linguistic bugbear: People (mis)using the phrase "hoist by his/her/their own petard" in such a way that it's clear they have no idea what a petard is, or what it means to be hoist by one.

    But only a chosen few have the chance to do it in a Herald editorial

    Maori have reminded the bridge managers that they readily hoisted the Team NZ petard during the America's Cup.

    UPDATE: And now that I go to look: do we not owe you a debt of gratitude for noticing this at the time, Josh?

    Devonport • Since Nov 2006 • 599 posts Report Reply

  • Evan Yates,

    @Josh

    "hoist by his/her/their own petard"

    I've always assumed it meant blown up by your own bomb. Please tell me I haven't been wrong for all these years...

    Is petard actually a French slang word for testicles or something?... Being hoist by those would not be too pleasant.

    Hamiltron, Te Ika-a-Māui • Since Nov 2006 • 190 posts Report Reply

  • Paul Rowe,

    To use two non-number-related examples: 1) if a halfback throws a hospital pass to a first-five, it gets described as "average", when, in fact, such passes are poor, bad, etc, etc. If it was an "average" pass, it would be a regulation, good, easy to catch pass.

    But to be fair, the commentator is damning with faint praise. An "average" player wouldn't be in the team, as these guys are supposed to be the best in town/province/region/nation/world at what they do. To aspire to be as good as Dan the Man, but be assessed as being only good enough to be average, is quite the put down.

    My fave euphemism for poor is from cricket, when a slog is described as "agricultural". No idea where it came from or what it is supposed to mean.

    Hate when footbvall commentators refer to a player "pressurizing" the goal keeper, that really winds me up, and anybody who feels "obligated" to do something, when, they are surely "obliged"?

    Lake Roxburgh, Central Ot… • Since Nov 2006 • 563 posts Report Reply

  • andrew llewellyn,

    Maori have reminded the bridge managers that they readily hoisted the Team NZ petard during the America's Cup

    WTF?

    Since Nov 2006 • 2074 posts Report Reply

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