Hard News by Russell Brown

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Hard News: Official Information

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  • Kyle Matthews,

    Oh, and the folks who upload stuff have kindly done me a separate edit of the Newsmash:

    I think, in the interests of equality, Paul Henry should read out some comments about your moustache, and suggest that you wax more often.

    After all, I'm sure he's not sexist.

    Since Nov 2006 • 6243 posts Report

  • ScottY,

    BTW, any wagers on David Garrett being this term's Bob Clarkson?

    I agree largely with Graeme. Clarkson was a colourful buffoon who always had his foot in his mouth. Who can forget his comments about “Islam religion-type people” and how if they didn't like it in NZ they could "go back to Islam"? (er, where is that on the map?)

    I don't for a minute suggest that what Clarkson said wasn't often offensive. But his brain explosions couldn't be taken seriously.

    Garrett, on the other hand, is a piece of work, and his obsession with making NZ a police state worries me. Yesterday he was on the radio advocating that people charged with a "third strike" offence shouldn't be given legal aid.

    West • Since Feb 2009 • 794 posts Report

  • Emma Hart,

    In fact, let's just drop the Friday Cat Nuke.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report

  • Stephen Judd,

    you might find the Newsmash at the end of the show amusing.

    I sure did.

    (It's doing the rounds on Facebook already...)

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 3122 posts Report

  • Rob Hosking,

    He would start running upside down under your bed clinging to the mattress from the underside, running in crazy circles. When you'd reach under the bed to pull him out, he'd rip your hand to shreds. Ah, cat humour.

    Ah, yes. We had a family cat like that.

    He was actually quite smart. When he first arrived as a kitten, Dad muttered something disparaging, but Cat quickly worked out Dad was the real soft touch in the family. Used to sit on his chair at the dining room table. Dad would come in from the farm, pull the chair out, cat would look up angelically and purr. Dad would make shooing noises, Cat would meouw. Dad would then go and get the spare chair from the lounge.

    After a bit Mum noticed the catfood going down very fast. Quizzed my siblings (I'd already left home) they denied doing this. Dad had to admit he gave Cat a feed when he got up at 5am to milk the cows: Cat then got his official breakfast at 7am when Mum got up.

    Came the end of the milking season: Dad got the luxury of lying in until around 6am. First day of this, Cat howls outside bedroom door, but no response.

    So he goes next door into the den and stomps up and down the piano keyboard until someone gets up to fed him.

    Which is how he got named Mozart.

    South Roseneath • Since Nov 2006 • 830 posts Report

  • dyan campbell,

    Dyan, like this?

    Ohmigod, Emma, yes, exactly like that, except Cheem (as he was known for short) was mainly white with tortoise shell splodges. As someone once observed "no matter how weird your cat is, not matter how bizarre their behaviour or habits, somewhere, some other cat in the world is doing exactly the same thing.

    Just one question: did that black and white kitty ever lose the back paw fights?

    auckland • Since Dec 2006 • 595 posts Report

  • Emma Hart,

    Just one question: did that black and white kitty ever lose the back paw fights?

    Jeeves has a small scar on his little white nose, which he gave himself. When he gets on a losing streak he has to flee his back paws.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report

  • dyan campbell,

    Ah, yes. We had a family cat like that.
    He was actually quite smart.

    They're all smart, Rob. I have many friends who used to insist they hate cats, only to have cats move in, uninvited. One fellow down in Dunedin is still in denial, after 7 years, a mountain of cat toys ("girlfriends of mine bought those!") an installed cat door ("I don't care if he freezes, I just don't want to hear him whining at my window in the middle of the night!"). Seven long years, and officially this cat is still destined for the SPCA.

    auckland • Since Dec 2006 • 595 posts Report

  • Kumara Republic,

    I agree with Graeme & ScottY regarding Clarkson & Garrett. Clarkson was funny in an Inspector Sledge Hammer sort of way. Garrett, on the other hand, wouldn't look out of place in an Orwell novel.

    The southernmost capital … • Since Nov 2006 • 5446 posts Report

  • Mark Harris,

    Garrett, on the other hand, wouldn't look out of place in an Orwell novel.

    Is it just me that sees a staggering resemblance to this man?

    Waikanae • Since Jul 2008 • 1343 posts Report

  • George Darroch,

    Slightly OT, but on the subject of Government accountability... how about the NZ Government lying to get a full law passed through all stages in less than an hour?

    This Government is making democracy into a farce.

    WLG • Since Nov 2006 • 2264 posts Report

  • ScottY,

    Is it just me that sees a staggering resemblance to this man?

    He'll always be Del Boy to me

    West • Since Feb 2009 • 794 posts Report

  • Mark Harris,

    Nah, Del's got a sense of humour. Garrett's idea of a fun time would be a guided tour of Gitmo.

    Waikanae • Since Jul 2008 • 1343 posts Report

  • Kyle Matthews,

    Garrett, on the other hand, wouldn't look out of place in an Orwell novel.

    As long as it's a really big version of the novel. And you take both sides of the book and bash them together really hard mashing his face in between the pages.

    Ahem, sorry. Old habits.

    Since Nov 2006 • 6243 posts Report

  • Liz Barlow,

    Slightly OT, but on the subject of Government accountability... how about the NZ Government lying to get a full law passed through all stages in less than an hour?
    This Government is making democracy into a farce.

    I was concerned by this too. Where is the information that says this policy would actually work? Anyhoo this government doesn't seem to think that criminals should have human rights.

    But thanks for the stuff on the OIA - I'm a real constitution geek and listen to everything I can on the Act. I do disagree with Brenda about one thing - she says that people have training on the OIA. They don't - unless you agitate for it because you're a geek like me there's no formal training in the OIA.

    Speaking as a public servant I care deeply that the Act is adhered to and do my very best despite being quite lowly.

    PS in your "how to" you put a stamp on your letter to the PM -- did you know that you don't have to? It's free to send mail to Parliament.

    Pardon my verbosity! I can never cut my posts down to a reasonable length!!

    Wellington • Since Apr 2009 • 1 posts Report

  • Mark Harris,

    Ahem, sorry. Old habits.

    You've been a secondary school teacher, haven't you?

    Waikanae • Since Jul 2008 • 1343 posts Report

  • Mark Harris,

    I found a lovely piece today that ties together:
    a) copyright
    b) post-modernism
    c) virtual reality.

    Please enjoy How to Handcraft an Achingly Self-Referential Virtual Commodity Fetish Object (For Fun and Profit!) !

    An excerpt:

    In this easy-to-follow seven-step Instructable, you will learn how to turn a weightless virtual commodity into a lovingly handmade piece of artisanal craftwork fated to collapse into its own meta-indexical core like the semiotic black hole it is. This project requires you to handle sharp implements, fast-bonding adhesives, and volatile distinctions between the real and the symbolic. It should not be attempted without professional legal guidance and a basic understanding of social-constructionist theories of reality.

    Waikanae • Since Jul 2008 • 1343 posts Report

  • ScottY,

    Nah, Del's got a sense of humour. Garrett's idea of a fun time would be a guided tour of Gitmo.

    You're right - no similarity. One of them makes a living peddling crap to unsuspecting punters. The other is a TV sitcom character.

    West • Since Feb 2009 • 794 posts Report

  • Mark Harris,

    Well said!

    Waikanae • Since Jul 2008 • 1343 posts Report

  • Sofie Bribiesca,

    Nah, Del's got a sense of humour. Garrett's idea of a fun time would be a guided tour of Gitmo.

    You're right - no similarity. One of them makes a living peddling crap to unsuspecting punters. The other is a TV sitcom character.

    That's knowledge bro'
    The art of the con. First make them like you.......as in" What can you do to help me"? followed by "boy have I got a deal for you, fuk you very much.

    here and there. • Since Nov 2007 • 6796 posts Report

  • Heather W.,

    There is a piece on Helen Clark in today's Sunday Star Times.
    Two quotes from it:

    "It's important to me to be in leadership roles, absolutely... I've been in them so long that I just wouldn't fit in further down the food chain. That's the reality. And I wouldn't do anything at lower levels."

    She read later that one person Act MP David Garrett had not joined in the applause, but "to be honest I wouldn't recognise the person, so it's not of any great moment. Maybe he will learn after a while in politics that there are some things you do and some things you don't".

    North Shore • Since Nov 2008 • 189 posts Report

  • Sofie Bribiesca,

    but "to be honest I wouldn't recognise the person, so it's not of any great moment.

    She is good :)

    here and there. • Since Nov 2007 • 6796 posts Report

  • Graeme Edgeler,

    If she wouldn't recognise him, why should he recognise her :-)

    Wellington, New Zealand • Since Nov 2006 • 3215 posts Report

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