Island Life by David Slack

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Island Life: Effective Immediately

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  • ScottY,

    Can I add my own suggestions:

    Corrections Minister: Garth McVicar

    Head of Alcohol Advisory Council: Jessie Ryder

    Supermayor: Charlotte Dawson

    Minister for Arts: Colin Meads

    Head of SIS: Bridgit Saunders

    Yorke of The Atatu • Since Feb 2009 • 787 posts Report Reply

  • Paul Campbell,

    As an aside - does anyone else find the ASB ads a touch anti-semitic? certainly they'd never play in the US

    Dunedin • Since Nov 2006 • 2031 posts Report Reply

  • ScottY,

    The Goldstein ads just irritate me. I wish I banked at ASB so I could have the pleasure of closing my accounts.

    As for the anti-semite thing, not sure. The thought had also occurred to me.

    Yorke of The Atatu • Since Feb 2009 • 787 posts Report Reply

  • ScottY,

    I have some more suggestions:

    Attorney General: Joe Karam

    Chief Judge of Waitangi Tribunal: Leighton Smith

    Communications Minister: David Farrar

    Army Chief of Staff: Bishop Tamaki

    Yorke of The Atatu • Since Feb 2009 • 787 posts Report Reply

  • giovanni tiso,

    The guy who makes the TV commercials louder than the programmes

    TV people have the greatest justification for this: they don't raise the volume during the ads, it's the advertisers who send them in a compressed audio format that makes them louder when they are played.

    So turn down the freaking volume when the ads come on, dipshit.

    Minister of Maori Affairs: Michael Lhaws

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7320 posts Report Reply

  • ScottY,

    Minister of Maori Affairs Michael Lhaws

    Isn't he about to be appointed head of the Geographical Board?

    Yorke of The Atatu • Since Feb 2009 • 787 posts Report Reply

  • Ian MacKay,

    COE Abortian Clinic: Bill English

    Bleheim • Since Nov 2006 • 498 posts Report Reply

  • simon g,

    I hope these are all frontline appointments.

    Front office, back line, backroom, front of house, back to front, Y-fronts ...

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 692 posts Report Reply

  • Chris Smith,

    As an aside - does anyone else find the ASB ads a touch anti-semitic? certainly they'd never play in the US

    I have been told that the Jewish community (and by community I imagine it is some representing body) is consulted on each ad before they screen, and the ad will not go ahead if they do not approve of it.

    Auckland • Since Feb 2009 • 2 posts Report Reply

  • Bart Janssen,

    The guy who makes the TV commercials louder than the programmes

    LOL

    Narrow dynamic range - my arse!

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 3217 posts Report Reply

  • ScottY,

    I have been told that the Jewish community (and by community I imagine it is some representing body) is consulted on each ad before they screen, and the ad will not go ahead if they do not approve of it.

    Are you serious, or are you pulling our leg? Why would they consult unless there was some perception of anti-semitism to start with?

    Yorke of The Atatu • Since Feb 2009 • 787 posts Report Reply

  • Simon Telfer,

    Technically adverts on TV are not louder it is just that they more frequently hit the "peaks" (the loudest they are allowed to go) than a normal TV program.

    So on a graph the advert's sound would be flat-lining along the top of the permissible volume while a normal program would have a graph like the southern alps.

    Auckland • Since Feb 2009 • 14 posts Report Reply

  • Bart Janssen,

    Technically adverts on TV are not louder it is just that they more frequently hit the "peaks"

    So

    My boss isn't shouting at me he is just hitting the peaks more frequently

    or

    The jackhammer outside isn't louder than me banging a nail in with a hammer it just hits the peaks more frequently

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 3217 posts Report Reply

  • Paul Campbell,

    yeah that does seem a little strange - instead they could simply have given the guy a more anglo name and avoided the whole issue - I have to think that if there is consultation it came after the first ads probably because someone did complain.

    My family is nominally culturally jewish (but not religious) - we lived in the US for 20 years of OE - you'd never see an ad like that on TV there - all hell would break loose. My kids get a lot of crap at school 'jewish' is still a put down in high school in NZ even though we're about as jewish as we are presbyterian (and 'scottish' has about the same connotations - esp. here in Dunedin). I suspect the subtext I see in that ad probably goes over a lot of kiwi's heads but I've worried for a while that some day kids will be yelling "Goldstein!" at my kids - I guess I'm a little sensitive

    Dunedin • Since Nov 2006 • 2031 posts Report Reply

  • Christopher Dempsey,

    The Goldstein ads are somewhat sensitive - I should know cause I wrote a somewhat outraged letter to the then head of marketing at ASB, protesting one of the first Goldstein ads (around 1999) that contained the statement "Econo-MISER", alluding to the 'miserly' nature of Jews, promoting one of their products.

    (A pasty letter was sent back containing no apology. Amazing.)

    That ad certainly got the Jewish community in an uproar, and since then the Goldstein ads have steered clear of such behaviour.

    I'm not aware that any ads are run past the Jewish community - certainly I don't think it happens for the fags, dem brown folk, or differently abled, so it's not likely to happen for the Jewish community.

    Parnell / Tamaki-Auckland… • Since Sep 2008 • 639 posts Report Reply

  • Rich of Observationz,

    Since Goldstein is both lovable and getting the jump on his boss by continually extending his fact-finding mission to NZ, I'd consider it a positive depiction and not anti-anyone. Maybe fat American managers.

    Back in Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 4357 posts Report Reply

  • Stephen Judd,

    does anyone else find the ASB ads a touch anti-semitic?

    It's always rubbed me up the wrong way, but since he's always portrayed as a lovable innocent abroad, it's hard to get too upset about it. It's his WASPy boss who's the fiendish financier.

    I asked people on a local mailing list I belong about it, and the consensus seemed to be "meh." Whatever ire there was at the beginning has long since faded away.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2917 posts Report Reply

  • Paul Campbell,

    but he's not the 'loveable innocent' he seems to be running a bunch of (ASB related) scams on the side without his boss's knowledge (his bagel business for example ....)

    Dunedin • Since Nov 2006 • 2031 posts Report Reply

  • Robyn Gallagher,

    I feel sorry for Goldstein because he's stuck wearing the same style of spectacles. Those giant round '90s-style specs are so out-of-date now, but I'm sure it would cause too much of a ruckus for ASB's customers for them to update them.

    Raglan • Since Nov 2006 • 1841 posts Report Reply

  • Sam F,

    I feel sorry for Goldstein because he's stuck wearing the same style of spectacles. Those giant round '90s-style specs are so out-of-date now, but I'm sure it would cause too much of a ruckus for ASB's customers for them to update them.

    Were they ever meant to be considered stylish? Smart banking execs would have got laser correction by now, which will hopefully pay off for them when trying to spot new listings in the job pages.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 1549 posts Report Reply

  • Susan Snowdon,

    I always thought Goldstein was meant to be the hero. Aren't we meant to admire him for outwitting his boss, despite his bumbling behaviour? We like him because he likes us. I see him as an American stereotype, not a Jewish one. I suspect many younger NZers have no idea what that even is, although some may be inclined to torment other kids at school for any silly reason. I think if you were an obvious Presbyterian/Rasta/vegan/wiccan you might get picked on too. Or not, depending on the school and the individual.

    Since Mar 2008 • 94 posts Report Reply

  • Ian Dalziel,

    does anyone else find the ASB ads a touch anti-semitic?

    ergo ASB must be an acronym for Anti-Semitic Bastards !! : )

    or was Mr Slack intimating that Emmanuel Goldstein
    would Govern the Reserve Bank after all the world is ripe for
    Oligarchical Collectivism. Bollard best get out of the Working Men's club and back into some serious training...

    yrs Winston Smith
    (consultant to The Emir of Temuka)

    Christchurch • Since Dec 2006 • 4555 posts Report Reply

  • John Farrell,

    Since I'm not a consumer of television, I, too thought Goldstein might be an Orwellian reference...

    Dunedin • Since Nov 2006 • 197 posts Report Reply

  • James Green,

    Mercifully, I'm no longer a consumer of ads for the most part (thanks GB-PVR).

    The jackhammer outside isn't louder than me banging a nail in with a hammer it just hits the peaks more frequently

    That's an OK analogy, but it's rather more like changing the sound of the jackhammer so that the quiet bits in between are almost as loud as the main strikes.

    The ads are not objectively louder, they just have fewer quiet bits, and seem louder.

    It's a bit like applying the commons dilemma to sound. Left to their own devices, the ads are not going to get quieter for fear of missing out. The television companies could step in, but choose not to.

    The same issue applies to music. If you make a mix of songs from different CDs, some will sound louder than others. Programs like iTunes have a feature to equalize this, but generally over the past 20 years bands have all been trying to sound louder.

    Dunedin • Since Nov 2006 • 681 posts Report Reply

  • David Slack,

    I, too thought Goldstein might be an Orwellian reference...

    John, Ian, no. I was slumming it. It seemed apt.

    Devonport • Since Nov 2006 • 599 posts Report Reply

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