Up Front by Emma Hart

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Up Front: Same as it Ever Was

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  • Craig Ranapia,

    One thing tho', I'm poly but not into threesomes/group sex. What is up with that?

    I dislike having my attention split, it always makes me feel like I'm not Being My Best.

    It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye, or gets an airway blocked by an unanticipated foreign object... It kind of kills the buzz when you're reduced to an erotic air traffic controller, though if that's what floats your shortbus far be it from me to get all judgemental.

    North Shore, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 11859 posts Report Reply

  • Bart Janssen,

    Know what Chch gets this summer? Fuck. All.

    No sympathy from me. Some dick is building a bloody great big rugby stadium on our cricket pitch.

    As for sordid. Well there is a nude calendar with a picture of me when I was 19, but that was artistic - I think.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 3261 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    As for sordid. Well there is a nude calendar with a picture of me when I was 19, but that was artistic - I think.

    This probably isn't a thread I want to introduce the phrase 'jpgs or it didn't happen' onto.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4340 posts Report Reply

  • Roger,

    I’d been going to do a column on the ghastly British reaction to Belle de Jour’s coming out, and particularly the bizarre “facts” being touted about prostitution in New Zealand

    I think that the growing frustration for the year is the increasing trend of opinion journalism that relies on just making stuff up! Particularly when it is stuff where even the most cursory investigation shows that it is just bollocks. This piece is a prime example:

    "Conservative estimates say that the number of street prostitutes in Auckland, New Zealand, has doubled since 2003"

    Oh please!!

    As far as 'sordid past' stories go... it is far too thin a line between just sordid and stuff that hurt others, so I think that I should resist the temptation.

    Auckland • Since Jun 2007 • 173 posts Report Reply

  • JackElder,

    "Conservative estimates say that the number of street prostitutes in Auckland, New Zealand, has doubled since 2003"

    That one stuck out for me a bit. Yes, of course the conservatives are yelling that we're now knee-deep in prostitutes; meanwhile, members of the reality-based community just aren't seeing it. If anything, the law reform seems to have drastically reduced the number of street prostitutes in favour of (presumably) workers in licensed brothels. I may be misunderstanding what Gold means by "conservative estimate", though.

    Wellington • Since Mar 2008 • 708 posts Report Reply

  • Roger,

    If anything, the law reform seems to have drastically reduced the number of street prostitutes in favour of (presumably) workers in licensed brothels

    I do not have the study paper at hand, but my understanding is that street prostitution has dropped, in the few parts of the country where it actually was a feature. As far as it goes for brothels the number of 'dive' establishments seems to have fallen while more 'up-market' licensed places may have risen slightly.

    There has been apparent increase in small operations working out of residential addresses, but this is probably only an 'apparent' increase as it may well be that it is the same number that is now just a bit more visible because it is legal.

    In Auckland, at least, the large well patronised establishments of the 90s are now large well patronised legal establishments.

    Auckland • Since Jun 2007 • 173 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    I do not have the study paper at hand

    Knock yourselves out. (Oooh, shiny raw data...)

    I keep hearing this 'doubled' trope, and it's really caught on in Britain for reasons I'll get into in a minute. But it is completely unsubstantiated, and I don't know where it came from in the first place. Note that 'doubled' doesn't seem to be a big enough lie for Gold, so she reaches for "some outreach workers say it has even quadrupled". Really? Not the NZPC. Some other outreach workers. Can't remember their names right now.

    But it's not just annoying. There's considerable debate in the UK right now about changing to a Swedish model of prostitution law, where being a prositute is legal but using a prostitute is not. (Say I'm a hairdresser, which is legal, but it's illegal to get a haircut. Am I going to be in a well-lit shiny mall being picky about my customers? No I'm not.)

    This has to involve coming up with some way of saying that the New Zealand model doesn't work. And if that means flat-out lying, Guardian columnists don't seem to have any problem with that.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4340 posts Report Reply

  • Roger,

    Thanks Emma! I knew that someone would have it. So what does it say?

    For Christchurch - Total: before the law change 375 workers, after the law change 392. Street workers: before the law change 106 workers, after the law change 100.

    Right then, that looks like a doubling to me!

    Auckland • Since Jun 2007 • 173 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha,

    Say I'm a hairdresser, which is legal, but it's illegal to get a haircut.

    Clearly in force here in the 70s.

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 16471 posts Report Reply

  • BenWilson,

    The data for Auckland wasn't so rosy, but they admit the earlier count was probably an underestimation.

    Streetworkers will always be a tricky one for legalization, though. Why would a prostitute work on the street? Three reasons come to mind:
    1. No establishment wanted them because of their look or behavior.
    2. No establishment wanted them because they are underage.
    3. They didn't want to work in one. Subreasons:
    3a. They like the streetwork itself in some way.
    3b. They make more money on the street.

    Seems like 1. would be unaffected by decriminalization. 2, on the other hand, might have been affected - given that sex work was generally illegal, then also breaking laws about employing underage staff might have been less of an issue for the establishments. 3a would be unaffected, anyone who likes the danger and excitement of the street would continue to. 3b is tricky - tax comes to mind as an avoidable overhead on the street, as does all the other infrastructure. But surely the customers drive harder bargains.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 8314 posts Report Reply

  • Linda,

    This story comes under the heading "Don't screw the crew - or at least not your own."

    13 guys and me on a 65" Yacht on a racing tour in the Pacific. Auckland- Noumea - Fiji - Sydney. As a 5'4" female, I knew I was lucky to win a place on board and I didn't want to screw [anything] up.
    Huge amounts of testosterone on board [and bunking in very close proximity] meant the salacious suggestions were constant. I virtuously and laughingly resisted them all - ignoring the obvious mutterings about my sexual preferences. My job was to pull on the strings to work the pole up and down. [yeah yeah]

    Everything remained on an even keel - until we reached the Fiji leg of the tour. And I my eyes locked with the Bowman of our closest rival. A young blond Adonis who never wore a shirt [Abs anyone?]

    He was determined. My resistance under his persistence began to melt like a jellyfish caught high above the receding tide. Okay, I wasn't resisting at all.
    We understood each others signals as a good Bowman and Pitt girl [yep that's my title] should.

    But where to go? The tiny resort was fully booked - I was bunking Marae-style with my crew in a open-plan Bure. Breathing the beery boy-farts of 13 comatose crew. The boats were out of bounds due to security.

    But needs must - and during the 5 days of racing, handy/sandy coves were discovered. We weren't. If my boat beat his during the day, I could dictate the position of his pole as the sun went down.
    My crew-mates didn't suspect a thing as I slid into my sleeping bag each night after my evening "walk".

    A year later, this time in Noumea. I was celebrating the best win of my life on the fastest ocean racing Catamaran in the Pacific.
    Across the unwashed heads of 250 drunken yachties at the local club - a blond beacon - sending me familiar signals.

    Same problem - solved by a park bench on a more public beach. Our cries muffled by crashing surf and mingling conveniently with the gulls.

    I've never broken the rule that makes up the first part of this post's
    title - but who says there can't be a rider?

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 14 posts Report Reply

  • Tom Beard,

    One thing tho', I'm poly but not into threesomes/group sex. What is up with that?

    I'm not complaining or anything, but it does seem easier for some people to call themselves "poly" and be received with polite, tolerant nods from us open-minded liberals. Whereas there is already a term for middle-aged, heterosexual male polyamorists: sleazebag.

    Or perhaps "golfer".

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1039 posts Report Reply

  • Geoff Lealand,

    Whereas there is already a term for middle-aged, heterosexual male polyamorists: sleazebag

    Let's not be too ageist here!

    Screen & Media Studies, U… • Since Oct 2007 • 2285 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha,

    Is that like this?

    Are Paul Henry's comments on Susan Boyle too insulting?

    I'm sure there's just the right level of insult. Best ask them three bears..

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 16471 posts Report Reply

  • Tom Beard,

    Let's not be too ageist here!

    In one's youth, a certain amount of dissolute behaviour is considered acceptable, but when one reaches A Certain Age, the absence of mortgage, car and committed monogamous life partner is looked upon with a combination of distaste and pity. "When are you going to grow up and settle down?"

    Have you ever heard the term "roue" used without the adjective "ageing"?

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1039 posts Report Reply

  • Geoff Lealand,

    But I like disgraceful old blokes and aspire to be one. Being a public nuisance must be more satisfying than the weekly trip to the bowling club, to whine about the 'yoof' of today!

    Screen & Media Studies, U… • Since Oct 2007 • 2285 posts Report Reply

  • BenWilson,

    Ya, it's kinda strange how the young are always bitter on the expectations that the old have of them, but have very strong views on what it is acceptable for the old to do. Especially when it comes to sex.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 8314 posts Report Reply

  • Bart Janssen,

    This probably isn't a thread I want to introduce the phrase 'jpgs or it didn't happen' onto.

    I'm pretty sure the only surviving copies are in one of those boxes in the cupboard. However, even if I could dig it out and scan it, if you think I'm stupid enough to give you a picture of me naked ...

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 3261 posts Report Reply

  • BenWilson,

    'jpgs or it didn't happen'

    If only.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 8314 posts Report Reply

  • JackElder,

    I'm pretty sure the only surviving copies are in one of those boxes in the cupboard. However, even if I could dig it out and scan it, if you think I'm stupid enough to give you a picture of me naked ...

    Tch - why bother obtaining an actual photo in a world that has Photoshop in it?

    Have you ever heard the term "roue" used without the adjective "ageing"?

    I've never heard the term "roue" used seriously in any context other than cooking, actually. Wait, that's roux, my mistake. Je ne pas passe Francais innit.

    Wellington • Since Mar 2008 • 708 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    if you think I'm stupid enough to give you a picture of me naked ...

    But I thought you LIKED me!

    (One should note that, now I've met Bart, I feel completely comfortable teasing the hell out of him.)

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4340 posts Report Reply

  • Geoff Lealand,

    Ya, it's kinda strange how the young are always bitter on the expectations that the old have of them

    Well put, Ben. Of course, the retort 'so where do you think you came from?' doesn't work.

    Screen & Media Studies, U… • Since Oct 2007 • 2285 posts Report Reply

  • Kebabette,

    One for you Christchurch peeps:
    I was parked in Northlands mall waiting for my mum to come back from the shops. The car parked in front of us has a young male passenger. I notice he seems to be doing something, perhaps changing his clothes. Vigorously.

    Then a young woman's head suddenly rears up and the realisation dawns. They are having sex in the (busy) Northlands car park. Fair does.

    Another thought.
    Dad is sitting in the car with me.

    Christchurch • Since Feb 2007 • 186 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha,

    jpgs or it didn't happen

    One could apply the same principle to certain hotel balconies..

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 16471 posts Report Reply

  • Bart Janssen,

    But I thought you LIKED me!

    But I do ... I thought not showing you a picture of me naked was the nicest thing I could do :P

    It is interesting how some people you meet and decide that yes it is OK to tease and/or flirt with them and it won't end in tears :).

    Emma by the way (as scary as she is) falls definitely into that category.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 3261 posts Report Reply

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