OnPoint by Keith Ng

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OnPoint: Dear Gerry

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  • philipmatthews,

    Kiwi humour 101:

    Make jokes about prison sex after 10pm and you get pinged by the BSA.

    Describe people as freaks, mad and schizos on Breakfast TV and you're fine.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2007 • 656 posts Report

  • Tom Beard,

    Sometimes, they call these things "costs", "risks", "downsides", "negative externalities" or "bad things".

    Sometimes they call them "disbenefits", in which case you are free to crush their skull between two volumes of the OED.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1040 posts Report

  • Ross Mason,

    I have moments of wondering if the whole thing is a hoax.

    No, I think Gerry dead panned it. But we aren't having a bar of it.

    gold...Gold...GOld...GOLd...GOLD!!!!

    Cue Lawn Green (Paw), Hoss, Little Joe. Adam and Bonanza theme. Map of New Zealand bursts into flames from Schedule 4 areas on map. Six gun shoots 8 bullets into 9 baddies all with sound effects courtesy of Rick O'Shea.

    Cue Coconuts and herd of prairie hosses head'n for the pass.

    Cue Neil Young "After the Goldrush:

    "Look at mother nature on the run
    In the 21st century.........."

    Upper Hutt • Since Jun 2007 • 1590 posts Report

  • Just thinking,

    "McFail and the not so great Gadsby"

    Avenues mag has become a nice sunday afternooner (glossy pulp with a good news story or two) now Gadsby sleazy and icky editorial time is over.

    Putaringamotu • Since Apr 2009 • 1158 posts Report

  • Caleb D'Anvers,

    And let's not forget A. K. Grant! Although he did, you know, deliberately drink himself to death. Which may just underscore the point that New Zealand is not really a good place for political comedy.

    London SE16 • Since Mar 2008 • 482 posts Report

  • Geoff Lealand,

    Cue Lawn Green (Paw)

    A deliberate pun, or do you mean Lorne? Reminds me that our lawn has remained green this summer, rather than dying off as it usually does in February/March.

    Screen & Media Studies, U… • Since Oct 2007 • 2562 posts Report

  • Ian Dalziel,

    Cue Lawn Green (Paw)
    A deliberate pun, or do you mean Lorne?
    Reminds me that our lawn has remained
    green this summer, rather than dying off
    as it usually does in February/March.

    I think it's a comically bon(an)za play on words:

    cute, green lawn turn sere
    yellow affects his paw ring
    telling overture


    yrs haiku waititi
    & dr ropata

    Christchurch • Since Dec 2006 • 7953 posts Report

  • Ross Mason,

    Heard of lawn that wasn't lush and green.... at least when watered?

    De-liberate!

    The effing theme has kept runing through my effing brain for the last 24 hours!!!! F&%k!

    dum didi dum didi dum idid dum Bonannzaaa

    Upper Hutt • Since Jun 2007 • 1590 posts Report

  • Steve Barnes,

    Something random what I found on the Net innit.
    Ten principles for a Black Swan-proof world

    6. Do not give children sticks of dynamite, even if they come with a warning .

    Peria • Since Dec 2006 • 5521 posts Report

  • Islander,

    Second great site you've directed me to today, Steve Barnes- thank you! (The first was about Burkhard Heim - anyone else seen "Howl's Moving Castle"? And what is the dimension-moving dog called? Yay! I've got the joke at last!)

    Big O, Mahitahi, Te Wahi … • Since Feb 2007 • 5643 posts Report

  • Islander,

    Alan came to Big O one-never-to-be-forgotten-time and delivered his version of "Ode to a Haggis". Which was Ok - but maybe he didnt realise us locals were taking bets on when he'd fall into the umukai (the 'pudding' was steamcooked and had been nowhere near a sheep's stomach). He was getting a bit sad then, which was a bloody shame on funding bodies, because he had been a cracker humourist-

    Big O, Mahitahi, Te Wahi … • Since Feb 2007 • 5643 posts Report

  • Steve Barnes,

    Economics in One Lesson

    The art of economics consists in looking not merely at the immediate but at the longer effects of any act or policy; it consists in tracing the consequences of that policy not merely for one group but for all groups.

    by Henry Hazlitt 1946

    Bennet's Bible?

    Nothing is easier to achieve than full employment, once it is divorced from the goal of full production and taken as an end in itself. Hitler provided full employment with a huge armament program. World War II provided full employment for every nation involved. The slave labor in Germany had full employment. Prisons and chain gangs have full employment. Coercion can always provide full employment

    Let's open up some more mines eh?

    Peria • Since Dec 2006 • 5521 posts Report

  • Kumara Republic,

    Let's open up some more mines eh?

    And let's not just stop there. Let's open a nuclear missile silo in Palms North. And a test site in the Ureweras too.

    The southernmost capital … • Since Nov 2006 • 5446 posts Report

  • Steve Barnes,

    Let's open a nuclear missile silo in Palms North.

    Nah, power plant. You just watch,that's next.

    Peria • Since Dec 2006 • 5521 posts Report

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