I predict the thread will get fewer hits than the Obama thing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6BA2Jz7xIXw

What is interesting to NZ is how the British public are finally realising how fundamentally undemocratic a system FPP is. And yet, coverage of that aspect in our press is pathetic.

Stephen Fry offers a blessed blessay: earnest, overwrought and still quite elegant.

God love the fragrant old whoopsie, but I did have to have a little giggle at (paraphrasing several thousands words) "some of my best friends are Tories and they're lovely people but they're still voting for a pack?

What is interesting to NZ is how the British public are finally realising how fundamentally undemocratic a system FPP is. And yet, coverage of that aspect in our press is pathetic.

Really? That seems to be the only aspect getting any play at all, because actual policies aren't getting much?

how the British public are finally realising how fundamentally undemocratic a system FPP is

?

Which is rather insulting, petal.

I'm pretty sure it was meant to be.

I'm pretty sure it was meant to be.

Well, yes it would be if Fry wasn't so congenitally nice he felt compelled to wrap him rather mild nastiness in the UK's entire cotton wool supply. :)

how the British public are finally realising how fundamentally undemocratic a system FPP is

They haven't quite caught up on the language front, though.

Even the electoral reform campaign still talks about a "hung Parliament", even as it points out that 10 of the 16 countries with AAA international credit?

The noose imagery seems less than productive to me.

Certainly — especially when nobody really has a clue what the hell is going to happen. Dare I say it, but there's a hell of a lot of time, money and hot air expended on polls that are fundamentally irrelevant. To?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/37831289@N00/sets/72157623874341050/

The noose imagery seems less than productive to me.

Oh. Is that what "hung" means? Man, I had this thing all wrong.

I can't recall seeing anyone other than the Tories advertising, other than the odd spoof in Central Londonistan.

That's partly down to one of the quirks of the British system — TV and radio advertising are banned during the campaign.

No doubt it's because they hate freedom of speech in the UK.

That's partly down to one of the quirks of the British system — TV and radio advertising are banned during the campaign.

What do you mean? They still ought to be able to compete on equal footing on the billboard advertising. What I read somewhere (Private Eye, I think) was?

Oh. Is that what "hung" means? Man, I had this thing all wrong.

Can't be. That would be a "hanged parliament".

That's partly down to one of the quirks of the British system — TV and radio advertising are banned during the campaign.

Their election seems quite strange. First time the debate has been televised (which would raise the question of why they had the debate before that, did it get?

Oh. Is that what "hung" means? Man, I had this thing all wrong.

I think you'll find that there's just the ordinary 'hung parliament', which is what we get after an election while the minor parties sort out who they're going with. Perfectly normal.

What appears likely in the UK?

No. I never joke about grammar.

Terry Pratchett does:

Salzella shrugged. 'We've got to do this properly. Did you know Dr Undershaft was strangled before he was hung?'

'Hanged,' said Bucket, without thinking. 'Men are hanged. It's dead meat that's hung.'

'Indeed?' said Salzella. 'I appreciate the information. Well, poor?

Yes. Thank you.

Carry on.

The link to the election also includes a link to Jeremy Thorpe the then Liberal leader, his life and related scandal makes colourful reading. In terms of serious scandal New Zealand may yet have some catching up to do.

Hell yes. I was actually looking at Thorpe's Wikipedia article this?

Hell yes. I was actually looking at Thorpe's Wikipedia article this morning. Holy heck.

Holy heck indeed. Although, this is one of the most charming sentences I've read recently:

Norman Scott, a former male model, met Thorpe in 1961 while working as a stable lad.

That's partly down to one of the quirks of the British system — TV and radio advertising are banned during the campaign.

During the campaign? You mean permanently.

And not just election broadcasts, any political broadcasts. The ban was determined by the House of Lords to appropriately prohibit advertising by?

my vote would only have been worth .226 of an 'average' vote.

Which is pretty astonishingly bad.

Quite. It's hard to believe that this isn't talked about more there. And there have been some estimates that had the Lib Dems with almost the same number of votes as the Tories?

Quite. It's hard to believe that this isn't talked about more there. And there have been some estimates that had the Lib Dems with almost the same number of votes as the Tories — but something like a hundred fewer seats.

Um... you could argue that the big beneficiaries of?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kyos-M48B8U

Loved that Charlie Brooker piece Giovanni linked to – I get a similar vacant vibe off Cameron. Just a sense of not a lot there?

Loved that Charlie Brooker piece Giovanni linked to – I get a similar vacant vibe off Cameron. Just a sense of not a lot there in terms of conviction.

It's probably my small-c conservatism kicking in, but is that a bad thing? American politics is full of people who are?

It's probably my small-c conservatism kicking in, but is that a bad thing? American politics is full of people who are ten pounds of "convictions" in a five pound bag — unfortunately, they should be of the criminal kind and so seldom are.

Yeah, I'm a small c conservative on?

Outside of the Tory bill?

1) Nick Clegg is really sexy.
2) Brown isn't., but he is the son of a preacher man.
3) David Cameron went to Eton, boo hiss.
4) The polls are really close.
5) Nobody has a clue?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NSUKMa1cYHk&feature=player_embedded

But the punchline is stark enough:

It took 40,000 voters to elect a Labour MP, only 33,000 to elect a Conservative and it took ten?

The same page also shows a current Daily Mail front page seeking to sow panic about a hung Parliament. That newspaper really is something else.

To be fair Russell, we are talking about the Daily Mail. I have no expectations of the particular rag, and am never disappointed.

But I've?

Mind you my Scottish work colleague informed me yesterday that the BBC did a piece on NZ on how we handle "hung" parliaments and they interviewed that tower of considered opinion?

I've got to say I'm severely underwhelmed by this from the Guardian

Well, on the other hand, they compensate for it by making a joke that only readers of 2000AD will understand.

Want! Flesh!

I couldn't believe that plonker Sean Plunkett interviewed someone from the Torygraph for a view on the british election.

Why not, Tom? I must admit that I can't really get too bent out of shape when folks from The Guarniad (which endorsed the Lib Dems) or the Times (which has?

...does the Queen ask...

Having the Queen involved is just for show, right? Right?

Share of vote:

Conservative 37%
Labour 28%
Lib Dems 28%

Which they say would translate thus:

Conservative 299 seats
Labour 233 seats
Lib Dems 86 seats.

Perhaps the years under MMP have addled my faculties, but that seems completely crazy to?

What is the precedent- does the Queen ask the party with the most seats to try to form a govt first- or is it open slather horse-trading and deal-making as soon as votes are counted and no party has a majority?

I dont' think anyone really knows — which is?

The New Statesman has a final poll of polls.

Share of vote:

Conservative 37%
Labour 28%
Lib Dems 28%

Which they say would translate thus:

Conservative 299 seats
Labour 233 seats
Lib Dems 86 seats.

Perhaps the years under MMP have addled my faculties, but that seems completely crazy to?

To the intense frustration of Labour cabinet ministers, Clegg has limited his options by saying that if one party secures the largest share of the vote and most seats, they will have a mandate to try to form a government.

I guess that's a strong indication Cameron's Conservative team will?

The Daily Mail's front page today – a huge cartoon of Brittania walking blindly over a cliff – shows how scared the ruling class are of a hung parliament. They claim it is because coalition govt?

TV mogul Simon Cowell says tomorrow's General Election MUST bring change to Britain.

Writing for The Sun, he signals that the country he deeply loves needs a new government to pull it out of crisis.

Sure it does, Russell. So does the Electoral College in the US, come to that — I'm glad Obama won, but his share of the electoral college was seriously disproportionate to his share of the popular vote.

Not to mention his share of the Presidency!

I mean, shouldn't John McCain?

ITV chiefs are bracing themselves for a huge backlash after Britain's Got Talent judge Simon Cowell publicly backed the Tories.

The multi-millionaire used the pages of a downmarket right-wing newspaper to come out for David Cameron.

Cowell's?

Charlie Brooker has just tweeted that it "somehow manages to be embarrassingly lame yet more offensive than bestial porn at the same time."

Charlie Brooker has just tweeted that it "somehow manages to be embarrassingly lame yet more offensive than bestial porn at the same time."

What?

Starting to look like 'Celebrity wheel of misfortune'. 'You own a paper of a TV channel? No? Then STFU!'

Well, to be entirely bipartisan, I'd prefer?

And I really do have to wonder about the methodology of translating popular vote shares into seats — do they assume a uniform swing, weigh it in some way? Any insight there?

I believe so, generally, yes.

One thing that would be hilarious if we changed our electoral system to?

They include actors Richard Wilson, Prunella Scales, Liz Dawn, Roberta Taylor, Tony Robinson and comedian Bill Bailey.

Prunella Scales? That should sort it. 'Basil, Basil!'

Hang on, I see a conflict;

Kemp?

Cowell's decision provoked a storm of protest from BGT fans who blasted him for playing politics and backing a party who plan to slash and burn public services.

They accused him of "selling out" the fans who make his shows, the X Factor and Britain's Got Talent, such a success

?

Well, funny how the Electoral College wasn't so evil when the right guy won. :)

Interesting idea for the Electoral College: each state passes a law that says "Our EC votes will go to whichever candidate has the highest share of the popular vote, provided at least 50% of states?

One thing that would be hilarious if we changed our electoral system to first-past-the-post (or preferential vote or supplmentary member of STV for that matter) would be seeing political journalists try to explain poll results in terms of seats in Parliament.

That's interesting. MMP must be a great thing for?

Well, funny how the Electoral College wasn't so evil when the right guy won. :)

I've never claimed the Electoral College was evil. Indeed, I've been known to speak in favour of it. Particularly in a federal system, there are other concerns than simple majority rules.

The idea that California?

Party strategists believe their endorsement will show voters the election is about vital services.

Yeah. Vital services for wealthy celebrities.

You pass that law and ... nothing happens. Until enough other states have passed the same law. Then suddenly, boom, the electoral college is irrelevant and it all comes down to the popular vote.

[not sure where I heard this idea ... maybe it's already happening in some states?]

I?

Basically unless you are voting Tory there you are fucked

And some would say, if you vote Tory you're fucked as well. :)

And some would say, if you vote Tory you're fucked as well. :)

Well that goes without saying!

This is.

He's right. Worse than bestiality porn.

Oh, hang on — that's not the Sun front page Charlie Brooker was tweeting about.

This is.

Would you like variations with that.
;-)

Sun paints Cameron as Obama for front page

Would you like variations with that.
;-)

Thanks Steve. I literally laughed out loud.

He's right. Worse than bestiality porn.

The absolute peak of irony. A Murdoch owned paper copying Obama???

This is.

He's right. Worse than bestiality porn.

Oh, for frak's sake — though shalt not take the most parodied/hommaged political graphic since Che got trendy in vain? If that's worse than Fanny getting arse-banged by a Doberman-dot-com, Mr. Brooker needs to do a perv-Google and harden the fuck up.?

The uk voting system is institutionalised fraud, of course and any party?

I've never claimed the Electoral College was evil.

No you didn't — more of a general tease. :) The Electoral College is every bit as absurd as it ever was, but some people who were hot to dump it when Dubya was the beneficiary seem to have come around.

The?

Another extreme example is the 1993 Canadian federal election, where the ProgCons got reduced to an embarrasing 2 seats out of 295 – yes, two seats – in spite of getting 16% of the overall vote.

But wasn't that more about the dramatic collapse of Mulroney's unpopular government and the?

PS. Turns out Tunbridge Wells was 65.8% in 2005. Much higher than average, so guess not going to influence?

He's right. Worse than bestiality porn.

And yet you linked to it.

It's nice to know that linking to bestiality pornography is above the minimum standard for PAS. No. Wait. That's not nice to know at all.

I know people here aren't likely to be fans of David Cameron, and?

Bootle 47.7 53,700

So what were the other 28,000+ doing? On the bootle perhaps?

So what were the other 28,000+ doing? On the bootle perhaps?

They were on the other foot.

A new low.

What are you on? I didn't know there was a pill for losing any sense for sarcasm. Too much courtroom detail?

What are you on? I didn't know there was a pill for losing any sense for sarcasm.

Ben: I consume Brooker's acid drops like fine vintage wine, and am certainly the last to credibly bitch anyone for a salty turn of phrase. But come on — a rather cheesy rip?

But come on — a rather cheesy rip of an already cheesy graphic that has been imitated and parodied endlessly over the last two year being worse than animal porn? Really?

Choose your own ordering and punctuation for the following 3 words:

Not
No
Obviously

There are concerns in the Commons that the system of allocating MPs' offices could descend into?

But come on — a rather cheesy rip of an already cheesy graphic that has been imitated and parodied endlessly over the last two year being worse than animal porn? Really?

Craig! Your account has been hijacked!

Seriously, dude: I don't need to remind you of some of your own?

A new low. And given the political climate in democracies I've followed over recent years, that's saying something.

Oh, for fuck's sake. Are you at all familiar with Charlie Brooker's style? It was a joke, employing a fairly common device called hyperbole.

No one actually thinks it's worse than bestial?

Seriously, dude: I don't need to remind you of some of your own more colourful turns of phrase, do I?

I'm still trying to think about how Debbie could do dog-ass. Perhaps she goes all Edward Penishands about it.

The Sun's unspeakably hideous election-day front page

Did I actually think it was literally "unspeakably hideous"? No, of course not. I was using hyperbole to a humorous end. It really is a very common thing that people do.

Oh, for fuck's sake. Are you at all familiar with Charlie Brooker's style? It was a joke, employing a fairly common device called hyperbole.

Well, Russell, you did turn me into a Brooker addict so, yeah, I'm reasonably familiar with his style and bow before one to whom I am?

Britain was given an election wake-up call today after Greece's battle with massive debt erupted in blood and anarchy.

Three bank workers died?

Eve of the election: reflections from Election Experts. Suppose London School of Economics and Political Science is not everyone's cup of tea, but rumour has it they know a thing or two. There's lots of poll stuff linked on this page, for those?

here's hyperbole, and there's being stupid and vulgar and not at all amusing. Something I've actually been called out on — and quite justly more often than not — around these parts.

That's a fair enough view, although I'm personally not going to lose sleep when someone says something vile?

Kind of shit for the people who'd have their businesses and workplaces destroyed. Totally shit for the corpses

Well, yeah. But also, it wasn't all that good for the 460 British troops killed in Iraq & Afghanistan under Blair/Bush. Or the over 100,000 Iraqis and Afghans *they* killed (pro-rata).

The British?

The BBC Friday Night Comedy Podcast is currently running four days a week (severely impacting on my productivity) running the Vote Now Show. This is basically how I get all my information on the British elections.

I hold to this method of information-gathering such that I didn't actually know what?

*UKIP. Viscount Monckton is their science spokesperson. No, I didn't think I needed to say any more.

Wow! I knew of UKIP, but not the gory details. The party appears to attract a certain personality sort, doesn't it?

Would their 16.5% share of the vote for the European Parliament be?

Twitter:

New election day twist RT @SkyNewsBreak Sky News sources: light aircraft carrying UKIP MEP leader Nigel Farage crashes in Northants.

The British people didn't want a war. (Just like the Iraqis and Afghans). But they got one, largely because they have an electoral system that lets governments discount and ignore public opinion.

And I'd respectfully suggest the British people wouldn't like to get any closer to Athens-style mayhem than a?

New election day twist RT @SkyNewsBreak Sky News sources: light aircraft carrying UKIP MEP leader Nigel Farage crashes in Northants.

Apparently he was only lightly injured.

They are something, though, aren't they? Given their basic "Europe bad!" approach, though, I suspect their turnout as MEPs would be severely diminished in?

The plane crashed after it got tangled up with the UKIP banner, and Farage walked out of the wreckage.

The British people didn't want a war. (Just like the Iraqis and Afghans). But they got one, largely because they have an electoral system that lets governments discount and ignore public opinion.

According to Michael Bassett it was all due to the singular genius of Tony Blair:

What I found most?

Anyone who uses the phrase "Fanny getting arse-banged by a Doberman-dot-com" has to be winding you up

A quick google of "fanny getting arse banged by doberman" brings up this very thread as the second to top link.... and if you spell it "ass" this is also second... but the?

The plane crashed after it got tangled up with the UKIP banner, and Farage walked out of the wreckage.

Paul Holmes over their doing a bit of political coaching, and offered to take the controls?

The plane crashed after it got tangled up with the UKIP banner, and Farage walked out of the wreckage.

As @MarkCubey says: It's event advertising

the top result is different

Craig will be gutted #fail

It's an absurd description of an absurd front page. Was that not absolutely, utterly, 150% obvious?

Well, the first time it was obvious. But then it was repeated, and it was like – hey, you weren't listening when Charlie Brooker said it, I want to make sure you all realise?

When people start seriously talking about political enemies rather than political opponents, and comparing – even humorously – their 'enemies' to pornographers this will never happen.

By that logic, it never has happened, then, because that's always been what people do. You're making your own little hyperbole, right?

That said, my WhaleOil dig was also obviously a joke...

That wasn't apparent, and I really was offended by your comparison of this forum with him and Wishart. They've actively vilified and harassed many people. Wishart in particular has blighted lives. He's a horrible little bully.

I really don't think?

No, I'm not picking on him. His mask was just the weirdest of the bunch.

The dispute relates to the BNP's use of a Marmite logo in a recent party political broadcast — and the subsequent legal action by Marmite's parent company, Unilever.

The BNP has been beset by internal conflict in recent months. In April, Mark Collett,?

What is the precedent- does the Queen ask the party with the most seats to try to form a govt first- or is it open slather horse-trading and deal-making as soon as votes are counted and no party has a majority?

I skimmed the thread so don't know if this?

In the last two weeks my name has been in headlines for the first time in years. Will a cabinet minister suffer the humiliation of losing his seat in the full glare of national publicity, as I did in 1997? Will he (oh please,?

That wasn't apparent, and I really was offended by your comparison of this forum with him and Wishart. They've actively vilified and harassed many people. Wishart in particular has blighted lives. He's a horrible little bully.

I really don't think an off-colour joke about a newspaper front page comes close?

Right, time to go vote. Destiny etc..

The Destiny Party's in the UK, now? Bishop Tamaki certainly gets around.

No, I'm not picking on him. His mask was just the weirdest of the bunch.

Is it ever — then again, the picture editor at The Guardian really earned his Christmas bonus picking that eww-some front page picture of Cameron lurking behind a half-open door.

Craig will be gutted #fail

@Sacha: I'm still dreadfully impressed by the fearless spirit of intellectual inquiry around PAS. :)

Is it ever — then again, the picture editor at The Guardian really earned his Christmas bonus picking that eww-some front page picture of Cameron lurking behind a half-open door.

Oh, quite. Plenty of subtext in that.

Oh, quite. Plenty of subtext in that.

a lot hinges on this...
Britain is in a jamb...

Oh, quite. Plenty of subtext in that.

And to be perfectly fair, it's not as if the more right-leaning papers are shy about going for the Gordon "grumpy mole" Brown shots. Closer to home, I'm sincerely not being bitchy in saying that we don't have terribly photogenic Prime Ministers --?

I kind of expected a rather more sober discussion of rather interesting and not entirely clear constitutional ground, without the grossly tabloid headline.

A quick google search for 'election' on The Grauniad website, limited to just their UK news, just in the last month, throws up over 20,000 hits of?

it's not as if the more right-leaning papers are shy about going for the Gordon "grumpy mole" Brown shots

the guardian is getting on on some of that action, too.

A quick google search for 'election' on The Grauniad website, limited to just their UK news, just in the last month, throws up over 20,000 hits of raw red meat for you to get your teeth into.

Well, not really — I've checking out The Guardian website daily for years,?

But when you've got pre-emptive vapouring about the Conservatives "stealing the election" and #torycoup dingbats on Twitter, then I have very bad flashbacks to Brash's equally idiotic vinegar tsunami back in 2005.

Quite — I declined to even read the story attached to that headline. Gary Younge's "I hate Tories"?

Oh, quite. Plenty of subtext in that.

a lot hinges on this...
Britain is in a jamb...

But how far will it swing?

BREAKING NEWS: Exit poll for BBC, Sky and ITV News predicts a hung parliament with the Conservatives the largest party. The poll puts the Conservatives on 307 seats, Labour on 255, the Liberal Democrats on 59 and others on 29.

The Lib Dems may actually lose MPs?

The Lib Dems may actually lose MPs despite increasing their share of the vote. That's fucked up, man.

To be all Pollyanna-ish on behalf of the Kleggs, Pollster.com's Mark Blumenthal makes a sound case why UK exit polls should should be taken with a pound of salt — they're not?

I've checking out The Guardian website daily for years, so I'm not exactly insensible to the editorially left-ward lean. Adjust scanners and move on.

Hmmm, clearly the toryforce is strong with this one. He does not react to the strongest of our probes. Increase the signal strength!

"stealing the election"?

Are people who vote by postal vote more likely to vote one way or another? Special votes?

"maybe, just maybe, there will be some surprises".

Well I was surprised to see that convicted criminal (and ex-MP) Sir Jeffrey Archer on TV3 News last night. (I think that it was from an overseas broadcaster) I would have hoped that they could find someone with a bit more credibility.

It could all, of course, be rubbish.

Winston Peters.

I only caught the end of it, so I don't know if he told them to go fishing.

Or the over 100,000 Iraqis and Afghans *they* killed (pro-rata)

I'm sure there's some things that you can pro-rata out, I doubt killing is. It's probably something serious enough that we should count it out in reality.

The BNP has been beset by internal conflict in recent months. In April,?

WTF does a BNP fundraiser do? Stand on street corners and threaten little old ladies if they don't buy his fundraising sweets? Run headbanger karaoke nights with gold coin entry? Curious minds etc...

See, that's funny because it's all too plausible.

Oh well.

If the exit polls are to be believed, it's so very?

Tenuous, yes.

What the hell is the UK independence party? Who do they want to secede from, themselves?

Europe. Modernity. Everything that makes life tolerable, pretty much.

Bloody hell. I tune into the BBC World Service for an update, and guess who's being interviewed, telling the Brits what to do in a hung parliament?
Winston Peters.

OK, that is funny.

Of course, they had to go a long way, to the other side of the world in?

What the hell is the UK independence party?

UKIP are a bunch of John Bull Englishmen, who look across the channel at Johnny Foreigner, and think that although all of this European integration thing might be alright for the Frogs, the Hun, and the Eyties, they'll stay out of it,?

Working extremely well for?

• May 6th 2010, 20:53 by The Economist | LONDON

00:18: Another view from the southern hemisphere: a correspondent appeals for Britons to learn from New Zealanders. Yes, really. "I've been very surprised since the beginning of Cleggmania that more has?

They are of the opinion that the 'Great' needs to be put back into Britain. Things started going downhill when The Empire was lost. Crudely speaking, they want to 'unsign' Britain from any sort of EU treaty that's been signed in the last 30-40 years.

I read something about a?

I trust Brooker's piece will be on youtube by morning. It's past midnight here and I'm hitting the sack. Haunted elephant made me choke!

It's ironic that your TV coverage is timed sweetly for us.

At least for those of us who don't have real jobs, ay?

I object! We can multi-task. It's a global conspiracy to state otherwise.

In related news from the Beeb;

Just looking at shots of David and Samantha Cameron going into a pub in the Tory leader's constituency of Witney?

Charlie Brooker just described Gordon Brown as looking like "a haunted elephant". Brilliant.

more bestial(hilar)ity?

but if he can form a gov't with Clegg
(the wild kingmaker)
he could be a "possessed pachydem"!
...otherwise he'll be leaving on a Brown Bier!

At least for those of us who don't have real jobs, ay?

Oi. I have worked all my life to not have a proper job.

I think that he needs to get out more.

Charlie Brooker just described Gordon Brown as looking like "a haunted elephant". Brilliant.

I always liked Frankie Boyle's description of him as "looking like someone drew a sad face on a scrotum"...

I always liked Frankie Boyle's description of him as "looking like someone drew a sad face on a scrotum"...

Actual LOL from me.

Peter Robinson, Northern Ireland's first minister, has lost his seat, Belfast East.

Robinson was beaten by the Alliance candidate, Naomi Long, who won the seat with a 22.9% swing. It's the first time the non-sectarian Alliance party (which is allied to the Lib Dems) has won a Westminster seat in?

That's extremely unusual for a UK election.

a massive development for Peter Robinson (First Minister of NI) to lose his seat

Well, Peter Robinson's had a bit of a rough time lately.

Well, Peter Robinson's had a bit of a rough time lately.

Yup a pretty big scandal, like was said before we don't come close to anything like that here. Very, very funny really.

I for one am looking forward to the predictable Republican insanity that will occur over the next few days.

I for one am looking forward to the predictable Republican insanity that will occur over the next few days.

Well, considering Cameron might as well be a Maoist as far as the Tea Baggers are concerned, they won't learn a damn thing if he's Prime Minister this time next week.

they won't learn a damn thing

If we take the definition of 'won't' as 'refuse to', then I should say that's business as usual, then.

Interesting to note from watching BBC1.... their election night?

On BBC Andrew Neil has just described the UK electoral system as 'the most sophisticated in the world'!!!

The Beeb certainly has some neat graphics. Swingometer!

I'm sorry, the what now?

They're on a boat, bitch, with their swim trunks and their flippy-floppies.

Consider this: The UK is still a monarchy. A hung parliament is likely. In that event, the queen apparently gets the final say.

Joan Collins and Richard and Judy have been spotted aboard.?

Ed Balls has indeed held his seat. As David Dimbleby says, the Tories have been denied their "Portillo moment". After the result, Mr Balls acknowledges it was "quite close" and pays tribute to his Conservative opponent for fighting a "straight" and "decent" campaign.

Oh come on, please?

Also, I briefly thought that in Swindon they had a "Greek Party".

I should probably schedule a timpanometry.

Balls for Britain.

Oh come on, please don't make it this easy.

Well, I'm watching Balls now and apparently the only reason he almost lost his seat was because of the "Ashcroft millions" — where 'clueless' isn't so much a wonderful film as a career path.

Crudely speaking, they want to 'unsign' Britain from any sort of EU treaty that's been signed in the last 30-40 years.

The UKIP seem to be working from within, having MPs in the European Parliament. The first I heard of the UKIP was in?

I should probably schedule a timpanometry.

Beethoven's 10th is recommended, if you can afford the full string section.

And stop mumbling.

actually on closer examination it appears it was, um, something else

Must be the representative from the British Satanist Party, he looks like Anton La Vey, but he's dead!

Richard Shaw from New Zealand writes: As the only Westminster jurisdiction with significant experience of proportional representation, we could pass on a few lessons about governing under minority conditions. It's really not that scary: governments negotiate confidence and supply agreements, then get on with the?

Ok, so our MMP needs some improvement, but this is patently ridicolous. LD 22% of the?