Southerly by David Haywood

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Southerly: The Dalziel Salon

25 Responses

  • Geoff Lealand,

    ....and the author of most extraordinary puns! Never to be outdone.

    Screen & Media Studies, U… • Since Oct 2007 • 2219 posts Report Reply

  • Bart Janssen,

    Failed Christmas cards:

    that all of you will enjoy a relaxing and mucus-free Christmas

    Ian sounds loverly, especially since he has now been outed as a cat person.

    Have a great Christmas David, ours will be made happier as a result of your book.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 3114 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown,

    Hear hear!

    Although I feel I must assert my rights as the original author of the phrase "the lovely Ian Dalziel".

    Add a little hair and subtract a little girth, and Ian's the same caring, clever human I worked with 26 years ago at Rip It Up.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 17967 posts Report Reply

  • David Haywood, in reply to Bart Janssen,

    RE: The Cat People

    Strangely, I can also imagine Ian and Sally providing accommodation for rescue dogs (this is not a suggestion for anyone to inflict a dog upon them, by the way). Bob and I once saw Ian riding his bicycle, and he did look like a man without a dog sitting in a box on his carrier. If you know what I mean.

    RE:

    Ours will be made happier as a result of your book.

    Very delighted to hear that! Have an excellent Christmas, Bart!

    In breaking news, we have less mucus than yesterday.

    Dunsandel • Since Nov 2006 • 864 posts Report Reply

  • David Haywood, in reply to Russell Brown,

    I feel I must assert my rights as the original author of the phrase “the lovely Ian Dalziel”.

    I think it will be simplest (and more Christmassy) if we let New Zealand's legal system decide on that. Bob and I will see you in court.

    Dunsandel • Since Nov 2006 • 864 posts Report Reply

  • giovanni tiso, in reply to David Haywood,

    the lovely Ian Dalziel

    I've heard of him. He's great.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7315 posts Report Reply

  • Ross Mason,

    I presume the cat accquired its name while running across a certain byway in Chch.

    Attempting a Cashel Streek.

    Upper Hutt • Since Jun 2007 • 1459 posts Report Reply

  • Jacqui Dunn, in reply to giovanni tiso,

    Ah! I have read of him, and read what he's written, of course, but what I want to now is this: is he the lovely Ian Dalzeal, or is he the lovely Ian Dee Ell?

    Deepest, darkest Avondale… • Since Jul 2010 • 585 posts Report Reply

  • Don Christie,

    Bob and I will see you in court.

    No need for that mallarky. Send 3 infringement claims to his ISP and get him cut off. Bwahaahaahaa.

    Oh yeah, Merry Christmas :-)

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1612 posts Report Reply

  • Megan Wegan,

    I think it will be simplest (and more Christmassy) if we let New Zealand’s legal system decide on that. Bob and I will see you in court.

    As my Christmas present, please please please can you make this happen? I suspect it would be HIGHLY entertaining.

    Welly • Since Jul 2008 • 1268 posts Report Reply

  • Joe Wylie, in reply to David Haywood,

    In breaking news, we have less mucus than yesterday.

    Caution: Pandering-to-kiddies earworm.

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 3291 posts Report Reply

  • FletcherB, in reply to Don Christie,

    No need for that mallarky. Send 3 infringement claims to his ISP and get him cut off. Bwahaahaahaa.

    Speaking of which.... a co-worker here in Auck just received one of these from his ISP.

    They are already in use!
    I'm not sure if this is old news that I've happened to miss, or if they are fresh on the nz tubes?

    West Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 782 posts Report Reply

  • Lilith __,

    his macronic talents

    Wow. Does he also have macaronic or macarenic talents? Or some combination of all 3?

    Dunedin • Since Jul 2010 • 3300 posts Report Reply

  • Jackie Clark,

    I just love that photo of Bob in the garden, David. And your description of his preference for le pipi dans le jardin had me in fits of laughter because it puts me in mind of my darling, vulgar Dad who, on a very toney trip around Europe, pissed in the Pope's Summer Palace garden. And boasted about it. How rude! I should have realised he would do that. One of my most vivid late childhood memories is of Dad and two of my brothers having pissing contests from the side of a Sth Island ravine. I mean, really!

    Mt Eden, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 3112 posts Report Reply

  • Jacqui Dunn, in reply to Jackie Clark,

    And not a lemon tree in sight?

    Mid-winter, hot flush. Only thing to do is go outside and pee under the lemon. Supposed to be good for them. Lemons I mean. I can tell you now, it was utter bliss for me!

    Deepest, darkest Avondale… • Since Jul 2010 • 585 posts Report Reply

  • 3410,

    Ian Dalziel

    A very fine choice for our next Govenor-General, I'd have thought.

    Auckland • Since Jan 2007 • 2618 posts Report Reply

  • sally jones,

    Well, as marvellous as ID most certainly is, my Christmas praise and thanks for PA person of the year must go to you, David. In my book your generosity and genius are second to none - with the possible exceptions of the other two members of your family. Never mind Bob the Baby, I say Bob the Brain!! WOW
    Thank you dude, and a very merry and mucusless Christmas to you all.
    PS: See you at home around 7pm?

    Auckland • Since Sep 2010 • 179 posts Report Reply

  • Bart Janssen,

    his macronic talents

    he makes pasta too???

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 3114 posts Report Reply

  • Simon Grigg, in reply to Russell Brown,

    at Rip It Up

    The Dalziel grin and irreverent quips (along with the soundtrack driven by Murray's awful Bob Seger records) rather defined that loft.

    Just another klong... • Since Nov 2006 • 3185 posts Report Reply

  • David Haywood,

    Ross Mason wrote:

    I presume the cat acquired its name while running across a certain byway in Chch.

    Not quite. Running halfway across a certain byway, I believe.

    Jacqui Dunn wrote:

    ... is he the lovely Ian Dalzeal, or is he the lovely Ian Dee Ell?

    Being a fairminded sort of chap it seems he chooses the former pronunciation while acknowledging the historical validity of the latter.

    Lilith wrote:

    Does he also have macaronic or macarenic talents?

    We have not yet discovered the limits to Ian's talents (if indeed they have limits).

    Jackie Clark wrote:

    One of my most vivid late childhood memories is of Dad and two of my brothers having pissing contests from the side of a Sth Island ravine.

    Bob will be sorry to have missed out on that incident -- he is already quite the over-sharer in the urination demonstration department.

    3410 wrote:

    A very fine choice for our next Governor-General, I'd have thought.

    I quite agree (despite Ian's foreign-sounding surname).

    sally jones wrote:

    Thank you dude, and a very merry and mucusless Christmas to you all.
    PS: See you at home around 7pm?

    Just spotted the Jones children coming up the front path with pizza. Oh, how splendid of you! Always nice to have PAers visit.

    Must go and answer the doorbell...

    Dunsandel • Since Nov 2006 • 864 posts Report Reply

  • Islander,

    Geez Joe - I made the mistake of onsending that clip to young family members...o gawd, if there is one thing worse than outatune xmassy carols, it is hymns to mucus & boogers-

    Um, David Hayward, while I love your work dearly, you realise that every Scot & Scots-descended person is, even now hunting you down? Running away to court wont save you-

    Big O, Mahitahi, Te Wahi … • Since Feb 2007 • 5643 posts Report Reply

  • Kyle Matthews,

    After a particularly prodigious toilet-training breakthrough last week, Bob demanded that Sally be summoned to admire the contents of his potty. I tactfully explained that Sally was busy at work, but assured him that I would give her a detailed description the next time we meet. She’ll be thrilled no end, I’m sure.

    I was quite glad to read this, see there was a photo underneath, scroll down, and find it wasn't photographic evidence.

    Since Nov 2006 • 6145 posts Report Reply

  • Sofie Bribiesca,

    Ian is a self-described 'designersaur' whose life has veered down a variety of interesting tangents. He was once a roadie for Toy Love, he designed the famous 'cupid eyeball' logo for Flying Nun, spent a few happy years working at Rip It Up, and enjoyed numerous evenings as the doorman for Windsor Castle in its hey-day.

    Must be lovely! What a guy. And you and yours David
    Happy Holidays to yous.

    here and there. • Since Nov 2007 • 5723 posts Report Reply

  • Janet L,

    Another awesome thing about the lovely Ian or ID as we know him is his fantastic ability to produce amazingly cool posters/postcards/flyers/whatever on the smell of an oily rag, He will always help to get a community-based event off the ground. AND he can't say no to books so if you need a good book he's your goto guy.

    167 • Since Dec 2010 • 3 posts Report Reply

  • Lea Barker,

    The stories about le pipi remind me of a train trip I once took across America's Midwest. A fellow passenger recounted to me how he lives up in the mountains that are the origin of the Potomac River, which flows through Washington DC. I always felt he left out a bit of the story by just saying that he could stand astride the Potomac, especially given his views on politicians and the federal government.

    (Which is a neither-here-nor-there comment on a post that lionizes an otterly fabulous person.)

    Oakland, CA • Since Nov 2006 • 45 posts Report Reply

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