Hard News by Russell Brown

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Hard News: Kittens and puppies for happiness

131 Responses

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  • Jackie Clark, in reply to Hadyn Green,

    That is the funniest thiing ever. And I like the old dog at the end "You let it happen". I can see it written all over her face. "Yes, and I thought it was amusing. And I still do. So bite me".

    Mt Eden, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 3123 posts Report Reply

  • Islander, in reply to Amy,

    Yeah, dont really want to know how or why they are in the car, but they surely do sound pissed off-

    Big O, Mahitahi, Te Wahi … • Since Feb 2007 • 5643 posts Report Reply

  • Leigh Kennaway,

    There are those, of course, who perceive feline intelligence as a threat, and believe that if we let them, the cats will one day move against us.

    I've read Russell's words. I've seen Colin's eyes. I'm sure there is a very real threat!!

    Western Bays • Since Feb 2007 • 79 posts Report Reply

  • Jackie Clark, in reply to Leigh Kennaway,

    And also, Colin appears to have grown disproportionately large so that could be part of the plan. Although it must be said that the last time I saw Colin, he was fleeing from an old dog. So he’s not that near to world domination.

    Mt Eden, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 3123 posts Report Reply

  • Leigh Kennaway, in reply to Jackie Clark,

    You shut your evil mouth Jackie - Colin was not fleeing!! He was merely allowing the dog a temporary feeling of dominance until Colin was ready to put The Plan in to action.

    Western Bays • Since Feb 2007 • 79 posts Report Reply

  • Jackie Clark, in reply to Leigh Kennaway,

    Now, that could be a point, Leigh. We'll put that one to Stella. She'd probably curl her lips!

    Mt Eden, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 3123 posts Report Reply

  • Islander, in reply to Jackie Clark,

    And then smack her chops. In anticipation-*

    *Only going on the behaviour of my mother's bichon frise - my only pet is an axylotyl (until the minature ok pygmy jerboa hops into the tank - gah! I mean, my life- right?)

    Big O, Mahitahi, Te Wahi … • Since Feb 2007 • 5643 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    Alright, ponies. We were missing ponies, right?

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4340 posts Report Reply

  • quentin c,

    Robot Unicorn Attack = WIN

    Jump into the steel hooves of a robot unicorn, prancing freely amongst the lush purple grasses and rainbow-strewn backdrops of your wildest fantasies.

    http://games.adultswim.com/robot-unicorn-attack-twitchy-online-game.html

    Since Nov 2009 • 7 posts Report Reply

  • Hilary Stace,

    For those allergic to kittens and puppies, enjoy happy manatees instead.

    Wgtn • Since Jun 2008 • 2030 posts Report Reply

  • Islander, in reply to Hilary Stace,

    Svelte & smiling, Hilary - and wholly at home in the water world-

    Big O, Mahitahi, Te Wahi … • Since Feb 2007 • 5643 posts Report Reply

  • Sara Bee, in reply to Joanna,

    Thank you - otters rule (if only)

    Dunedin • Since Nov 2006 • 52 posts Report Reply

  • Jeremy Andrew, in reply to Emma Hart,

    Did someone say ponies?

    "oh, the poor thing can't hear..." "Um, no, mom, I think he said..."

    Hamiltron - City of the F… • Since Nov 2006 • 841 posts Report Reply

  • Rex Widerstrom,

    There are those, of course, who perceive feline intelligence as a threat, and believe that if we let them, the cats will one day move against us.

    I for one welcome our new feline overlords.

    A GANG of feral cats "the size of dogs" have been systematically terrorising residents of a Brisbane neighbourhood for more than a year, with one resident and her dog reportedly mauled last week. Moorooka residents say the cats reign of terror began more than a year ago

    I vote we send Micael Lhaws over to impose an anti-gang law. Right after we roll him in catnip.

    Perth, Western Australia • Since Nov 2006 • 155 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha, in reply to Rex Widerstrom,

    He'd probably enjoy the enhanced sense of victimhood #rraow

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 16496 posts Report Reply

  • dyan campbell,

    My favourite cat film clip would have to be Jupiter the cat - "what cats are really thinking".

    auckland • Since Dec 2006 • 595 posts Report Reply

  • dyan campbell,

    Truth be known, I'm going to struggle on ponies. That's basically a chick thing.

    A chick thing? - what about that story by Turgenev about some poor man who buys the horse Malek-Adel, a fabulous silvery-black horse whose indispensable traits - he could be left for hours without even tethering him to a tree and would just come over when he was called, would never, ever spook or shy or bolt, was the strongest, most sure-footed, fastest, most beautiful, most fearless horse imaginable - so perfect and so extraordinary that when he's stolen right out of his stable the poor man pretty much loses his mind with grief.

    And what about Alexander the Great and Bucephelus? Alexander the Great's legendary horse who shared many traits with Malek-Adel, except Bucephelus could only be ridden by Alexander.

    Bucephelus was the starting point for the greatest boy-and-horse film The Black Stallion. Well, greatest until they get rescued from the island where they are shipwrecked together, and it becomes an ordinary hollywood horse film. But before that, it is an almost mythical boy-saves-horse, horse-saves-boy film, with just the two players, horse and boy. The kid in the film, Kelly Reno is one hell of a rider.

    auckland • Since Dec 2006 • 595 posts Report Reply

  • Lisa Black,

    Not exactly a small furry animal, but, especially for Emma, the cute and eminently stroke-able Matt Smith is to play Christopher Isherwood in, ahem, "fetching underwear".

    Wellington • Since Jul 2010 • 61 posts Report Reply

  • Ian Dalziel, in reply to Hilary Stace,

    Not the Dugong Show then...
    but the evolving adventures
    of Hugh Manatee ?

    Christchurch • Since Dec 2006 • 4688 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha, in reply to Ian Dalziel,

    oh the huge manatee

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 16496 posts Report Reply

  • Hilary Stace, in reply to Ian Dalziel,

    Sirenians rule, and I have a great deal of faith in Hugh Manatee.

    Wgtn • Since Jun 2008 • 2030 posts Report Reply

  • Jacqui Dunn,

    OK - here are two animal stories that feature my brother.

    I had an elderly female cat, and my brother came to stay. Mrs Daffs was a bit scrawny at the time, well and truly getting on in years, but still liked to rule the roost (she was one of three cats I had). My bro was sitting in the only easy chair in the dining room when the old lady stalked in and sat looking at him. "What are you looking at, cat?" he said, and then went on to talk about how rather bedraggled she was. Mrs Daffs walked across the room, and jumped on to the arm of the chair. She then turned her back on him, lifted her tail, and sprayed him - well, for females it's more of a tinkling - but she got him!

    He didn't learn from that, I have to say. Some years later, when I lived in a different house, I had a friend and her old blind blue heeler staying. My brother came to visit again. He was outside, having a smoke when Jane and dog arrived back after a walk. "Hello, Jane," he said, and then added something quite disparaging about the old dog, who was walking past him as he said it. The old lady did a u-turn, sauntered back and sniffed around his foot, gave him a nip to be getting on with, and trotted off after her mistress.

    We laughed and laughed. Bro didn't though.

    Oh, and on a more sober note, the camels in the car made me very uneasy. I knew someone who went to do the Haj who said that in order to keep the meat fresher, butchers would cut off the legs of camels first. I don't know how long an animal will survive after that sort of treatment, but no doubt they wouldn't be happy.

    Deepest, darkest Avondale… • Since Jul 2010 • 585 posts Report Reply

  • Jackie Clark, in reply to Jacqui Dunn,

    At the moment, my darling girl (dog, not cat) - who is 10 and pretty much on her last-ish legs due to poor health - poos outside my bedroom door every morning at about 3am. Is it coincidence? I think not. She knows that I have been talking about her demise lately, and watching anxiously for signs of her decline. And I think she's telling me to watch my back. Or feet, as the case may be.

    Mt Eden, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 3123 posts Report Reply

  • Jacqui Dunn, in reply to Jackie Clark,

    Oh yes. Keep your pesky thoughts to yourself, that says.

    Deepest, darkest Avondale… • Since Jul 2010 • 585 posts Report Reply

  • Tui Hill,

    Maru - better than Prozac, with no side-effects except occasional hysterical laughter. Trust me on this one. Try"Many too small boxes and Maru" for a taster

    Wellington • Since Jan 2010 • 2 posts Report Reply

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