Up Front by Emma Hart

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Up Front: How About Now?

196 Responses

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  • Isabel Hitchings, in reply to BenWilson,

    Natural Family Planning probably is effective when done properly. Abstinence is, too. But no method is really effective when doing it properly becomes difficult, either because natural urges are too strong, or the system or equipment is too tricky. I’ve personally had quite a high failure rate with condoms.

    Done properly the effectiveness is in the high ninety percents but it does take both self-control and good communication (not that those are bad things in a relationship). Because of Reasons, NFP and barrier methods have often been the only options suitable for us (and we've generally taken a combined approach over periods of abstinence). It's possible I'm odd but I found knowing exactly what my body was doing and why was pretty cool. I don't want to be an evangelist for the cause but, likewise, I'd hate to see people dismissing something that could work for them due to bad publicity.

    Christchurch • Since Jul 2007 • 706 posts Report Reply

  • Isabel Hitchings, in reply to Lilith __,

    You can love each other like crazy and still not be able to make it work.

    Ain't that the truth.

    Christchurch • Since Jul 2007 • 706 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart, in reply to Isabel Hitchings,

    Yeah, the contraceptive pill and I do not get on. Yay for long-term relationships and vasectomies. And yeah, also, self-control and I have some Issues.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4369 posts Report Reply

  • BenWilson, in reply to Isabel Hitchings,

    Done properly the effectiveness is in the high ninety percents but it does take both self-control and good communication (not that those are bad things in a relationship).

    I wonder what the stats are on people not doing it properly.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 8589 posts Report Reply

  • Lilith __, in reply to Isabel Hitchings,

    I’ve always wondered if the Love Capsule was less bothersome to circumcised men than to un-. Without getting unduly personal, I’d love to know if that’s the case!

    From what I’ve seen it’s more that it presents a different set of difficulties.

    Blokes I've known who'd rather not bother than wear one...have been the ones with foreskins. Is it only coincidence? [not a rhetorical question, I'd really like to know!]

    Dunedin • Since Jul 2010 • 3467 posts Report Reply

  • Isabel Hitchings, in reply to Lilith __,

    Blokes I’ve known who’d rather not bother than wear one…have been the ones with foreskins. Is it only coincidence?

    I don't think I've personally encountered anyone who would rather not bother but I seem to recall those without having more technical difficulties than those with. Obviously we need a larger sample group.

    Christchurch • Since Jul 2007 • 706 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha, in reply to Lilith __,

    <cough>

    roflnui

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 16755 posts Report Reply

  • Danielle, in reply to Isabel Hitchings,

    Because of Reasons

    This is my favourite phrase on earth right now.

    Yeah, the Pill can bite me. I maintain that it works by making you never want to have sex again. (Says the person who wrote her MA thesis on its significance. Heh.)

    Charo World. Cuchi-cuchi!… • Since Nov 2006 • 3661 posts Report Reply

  • Lilith __, in reply to Isabel Hitchings,

    Obviously we need a larger sample group

    Sounds like a plan! ;-)

    Dunedin • Since Jul 2010 • 3467 posts Report Reply

  • BenWilson,

    I maintain that it works by making you never want to have sex again.

    That's exactly how I feel about condoms. I'd actually rather have a wank, or more likely, just not bother at all. I feel I can say this now that there's very little chance of me ever having to use one again.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 8589 posts Report Reply

  • Ian Dalziel, in reply to Lilith __,

    Blokes I’ve known who’d rather not bother than wear one…have been the ones with foreskins.

    That's, er, Lamentable...

    <Grabs rubber overcoat...>

    Christchurch • Since Dec 2006 • 5046 posts Report Reply

  • Lilith __, in reply to Ian Dalziel,

    Lamentable…

    So much for unstoppable urges, eh?

    Dunedin • Since Jul 2010 • 3467 posts Report Reply

  • Josh Addison, in reply to Danielle,

    Because of Reasons
    This is my favourite phrase on earth right now.

    It is a good phrase, although when I hear it I can only think of this.

    Onehunga, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 297 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart, in reply to BenWilson,

    Also, it is possible that my experience is atypical, and people just tell me stuff.

    Last night, out drinking with a male friend, I may have unlocked one of the keys to this. It goes something like this:

    Him: And I mean, okay, she's hot...
    Me: Oh hell yeah. I'd hit that.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4369 posts Report Reply

  • BenWilson, in reply to Emma Hart,

    You stopped him before the "but"? You missed the whole blokey angle.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 8589 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart, in reply to BenWilson,

    You stopped him before the "but"?

    Heh. Let's all just assume I made the obvious filthy joke, and not embarrass anyone.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4369 posts Report Reply

  • BenWilson,

    I'm tired of being the "but" of your jokes.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 8589 posts Report Reply

  • Kyle Matthews,

    The main one that came up was around “raising children in the Catholic faith”. I was prepared to go so far as to let them be baptized, but not so far as to make them go to church or a Catholic school. My wife had probably not realized just how strongly I felt about the issue, nor how little she cared about it.

    Ugh. I'm currently going through this about my youngest. My ex recently found, or re-found or something the Catholic Church, and we're negotating about her attending a Catholic school, which I'm fanatically against.

    I’d also have to say that it’s one of the things that guys most get out of each other’s company sometimes, to be able to speak their thoughts about sex, thoughts that could be extremely unpalatable in the company of women

    I watched a reasonably amusing rom-com called "I Love You, Man" (it's on Sky at the moment) the other night which presented this rather well, from a "women do this but men don't really" kind of angle. My partner found it very amusing.

    Since Nov 2006 • 6205 posts Report Reply

  • Steve Barnes,

    The wireless north ;-) • Since Dec 2006 • 4871 posts Report Reply

  • BenWilson, in reply to Kyle Matthews,

    My ex recently found, or re-found or something the Catholic Church, and we're negotating about her attending a Catholic school, which I'm fanatically against.

    I was prepared to make it the one and only firm veto power I'd ever use, if it came to that. It didn't, which is great because ultimatums suck arse.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 8589 posts Report Reply

  • Steve Barnes,

    Compromise is always a good solution I find. I was bought up as an Agnostic which required me to go to church every other week.

    The wireless north ;-) • Since Dec 2006 • 4871 posts Report Reply

  • Rob Hosking,

    For those who were brought up Catholic.....the immortal* Dave Allen

    *um, except for the fact he died a couple of years back.

    South Roseneath • Since Nov 2006 • 805 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart, in reply to Steve Barnes,

    My cousin's children alternated Catholic and Presbyterian churches week by week. They've all ended up the kind of Christians who never go to church - despite the eldest girl being given an illustrated Hail Mary by her grandmother, as a 5th birthday present.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4369 posts Report Reply

  • nzlemming, in reply to Rob Hosking,

    For years my experience of christian doctrine classes would finish with "Outside, Harris!" or "To the Rector's office and wait for me there!"

    Brilliant clip, thanks.

    Waikanae • Since Nov 2006 • 2157 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha, in reply to Emma Hart,

    an illustrated Hail Mary

    A sketch of a rugby pass. Awesome!

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 16755 posts Report Reply

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